Tuesday, November 2, 2010

X-Men vs Vampires #2(of 2)

Overall: Gah, I have to review THIS... *sigh* Well, let's get it over with... Much like the first issue of this mini-series, we get a look at a different member of the X-Men and follow them as they deal with the dread vampire menace. Last issue we got some interesting stories and good characters. This issue? Well, you be the judge. We open with a story about Gambit picking up a few vampire women at a bar who decide to take a bite out of the Cajun. Gambit leads them on a chase through the streets of San Fransisco, first on a motorcycle, and then on a horse(????)before he manages to defeat and kill the vamps. Next up is a story about Rockslide and Armor, who have been tasked with bringing some food to Utopia. A giant vampire whale(yes, you read that right)attacks the ship, but the kids are able to defeat it by feeding it garlic(ya-huh...). Oh, and to make matters even better, Rockslide wakes up and we learn that the whole vampire whale attack was only a dream, rendering the whole story useless... Next up, Karma, who is attending a Waist Watchers meeting, gets attacked by an obese vampire who sucks the fat(??)out of women, making herself bigger, while making the women thinner. So Karma and the fat vampire fight and ultimately Karma kills her by shoving her outside and into the sun. Finally(mercifully!!!), we get a story about Archangel, who is on the trail of a vampire who has only been killing criminals. The vampire tries to make his case to Archangel, but is unsuccessful, and the two battle, with Archangel trying to keep his dark half at bay. After a bit of a scuffle, Archangel manages to defeat the vampire without transforming into his dark counterpart.

My god was this awful! If not for the Archangel story I'd have lost what's left of my mind... First off, the Gambit story contained Gambit, so that ruined that right there, the second story spotlighted two of the most boring(and dare I say worthless)X-students, and to make matters worse, it was all just a DREAM! The third story... well, the less said about it, the better... Ugh, I just want to forget that I actually paid $4 for this travesty...

Score: 3 out of 10.At least the Archangel story was good... I guess...


  1. Lol @ The Gambit Story included Gambit. Classic, also, the fact he randomly went from a motorcycle to a horse, which I'd have to assume is waaaay slower than a motorcycle... causes way too many problems for me.

  2. Dude, the worst thing was that out of the 4 stories, the Gambit story was probably the second best one! And it included Gambit riding a horse through the streets of San Fran!!! Nothing compared to the unbridled awfulness that was the vampire whale dream story though...

  3. Lmao to be honest, when I saw Vampire Whale I just stopped reading and scrolled down to your recap. I still wanna know who would ditch a motorcycle and grab a horse. I mean was it out of gas or something?!

  4. Some days I wake up thinking Gambit was just a bad dream. Then I see posts like this one confirming that he is indeed real. :(

  5. "when I saw Vampire Whale I just stopped reading" See, if I was smarter, I'D have done the same thing! :D

    As for who would ditch a motorcycle to ride a horse, well the answer to that is simple. Gambit would!

    HA!! If only Marc... If only we were that lucky...

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  7. I can't stand Gambit either - never liked him from that first story with Ororo as a little girl til now. Hallelujah to find someone else who agrees.

    I've not bothered picking up any of these Curse of the Mutants books - was hoping they would disappear and I could ignore them from continuity. Doesn't look like that's gong to happen though looking at sales figures :-(

  8. First off, the Rocket Raccoon image is awesome, Mutty. I just wanted to get that out of the way straight away!

    As for Gambit... Yeah, he's such a nothing of a character. There's just nothing to him. All he seems to be in one big walking cliche. Ugh, I can't stand Gambit...

    I've got to admit that I didn't think I'd like the Curse of the Mutants storyline either, but it's managed to grow on me. For the most part it's been okay. Not great, but better than Uncanny and Legacy for sure. Well except for this issue. This issue was horrid! :P