X-Men #22

With four more comics to review to close out the week, I think I'm going to stick with the Good/Bad/Verdict format. I tend to type these posts up faster than the summary/thoughts posts, and these comics are near the bottom of my comic pile, meaning I'm not exactly looking forward to spending a lot of time working on them.

X-Men #22:

What Happened: Storm, War Machine and Jugger-Colossus manage to defeat the modified Sentinel the Puternicstanian government sent after them. While that trio was defeating the Sentinel, Warpath, Psylocke, Vampire Jubilee and Domino are dealing with some Puternicstanian army goons in a warehouse full of Sentinels. The Puternicstanian(that word is a real pain in the ass to constantly type...) governor gives the order to send all of the Sentinels in their arsenal at neighboring country Symkaria to teach the Symkarians that Puternicstan was no longer a defenseless nation. Realizing a war between Puternicstan and Symkaria(ARGH! There names are driving me crazy!!!) could lead to a greater conflict involving Latveria, Russia and China, Storm creates a massive hurricane in front of the oncoming Sentinels, ending this one.

The Good: The story here was fast paced. The art was good. The dialogue was okay. As I've stated before, this is probably my favorite team of mutants from Lord Summers side of the fence... Well except for Jugger-Colossus... I don't get why he's here... War Machine actually did more than just get beat up here! Huzzah!!

The Bad: Unfortunately, War Machine did spend most of this issue looking inferior to the X-Men... Boo!!! The cliffhanger(if you even want to call it that) was strange... This issue ended with Storm creating a hurricane between the Sentinels and Symkaria. I'd have thought the better place to end this one was with the Sentinels activating in the warehouse. I had to type out a variation of the word Puternicstan 6 times for this post... That's 5 times too many in my book!

The Verdict: This was a perfectly acceptable comic book. Nothing more, nothing less. Will I remember it for days to come? Nope. Hell, even as I type this up the memory of it is fading! But it was an okay way to kill 5 minutes, so that's good... Other than that, I will say that the ending of this storyline seems like a forgone conclusion(the general who doesn't want to go to war ends up betraying the Puternicstanian governor), before moving on to the next comic book in my pile.

Score: 7 out of 10.Sure, bring a vampire into battle where people are frequently bleeding... Makes sense to me.

X-Men #21

It's an X-book! One of the thousands. This one had something to do with War Machine or Sentinels or something. I don't know, I'll figure it out when I read the recap page I guess.

X-Men #21:

What Happened: After the obligatory misunderstanding/fight, the X-Men in this series(Psylocke, Storm, Jugger-Colossus, Vampire Jubilee, Warpath) team-up with War Machine since the NATO no-fly zone had been broken when Symkaria flew jets into Puternicstan... I think I got all that spelling right... Long story short, the Puternicstan leadership has managed to acquire a bunch of Sentinels and thanks to capturing Domino(who they thought they'd killed, but in actuality didn't) have managed to trick the Sentinels into attacking non-mutants. They test this theory out on War Machine and are pleased when the Sentinel believes War Machine to be a mutant and prepares to exterminate him.

The Good: I still really like this team. Out of all of Lord Summers X-teams, this is the one I think I like the most(the only character I'm not a fan of is Jugger-Colo). The story isn't that hard to figure out; some small country gets some Sentinels to defend themselves from aggressor countries. The X-Men don't like Sentinels. Simple. I'm happy to see War Machine here as I do like Rhodey a lot(and as such am probably one of the 16 people who actually collected Iron Man 2.0!)

The Bad: This storyline isn't really doing anything for me... It's Sentinels. Again. That's probably the worst thing to happen due to Decimation, and something the powers that be at Marvel must not have really thought about, the only real enemies the X-Men have nowadays are bigots or Sentinels. Or in some cases, a combination of both.

The Verdict: Basically, this whole story is just leaving me apathetic. I mean there's nothing outwardly awful going on here, but I just can't seem to work up any interest for the events taking place here. Sadly this series feels like a fourth string X-book where nothing of importance will happen. If you liked this one, cool. If you didn't, cool. For me, it was a big old bowl of meh.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.That's the dumbest Sentinel ever!

X-Men #20

And here's the first issue of the Regenesis version of the X-Men. The team itself looks really promising, and it's being written by a writer I like(Victor Gischler) so this should be good, right?

X-Men #20:

Summary: While Domino is watching an arms deal involving three Sentinels occur between two Eastern European countries, a third party enters the fray, kills the dealer and buyer and steals the Sentinels for themselves. Domino alerts Lord Summers to this news before quietly tracking the new owners of the Sentinels. Lord Summers learns that the Sentinels were stolen by a country(Puternicstan) that was claimed by both Latveria and Symkaria and figured the Sentinels would help keep the two aggressor countries at bay. Lord Summers sends Storm, Warpath, Jugger-Colossus, Vampire Jubilee and Psylocke out to see if they could assist Domino and(presumably) destroy the Sentinels. While flying towards the trouble spot, the X-Men are met by War Machine, who tells them that the US government and NATO didn't want the X-Men to involve themselves in what was shaping up to be a major international incident Storm agrees with War Machine and promises to turn back. Upon getting back in the jet, Storm tells the team to continue towards their destination, but with the radar jammers on. Back in Puternicstan, their scientists manage to get one of the Sentinels up and running, and it immediately detects Domino(who was spying on the laboratory) and attacks. Storm and the X-Men land and are met by an angry War Machine, who didn't take kindly to being lied to by Storm. With the X-Men determined to find and assist Domino, and War Machine determined to prevent an international incident, we naturally get a battle, and this issue ends with Domino at the mercy of the Sentinel.

Thoughts: You know what? I actually enjoyed this issue... Maybe it was because I like this X-Men team about 500 times more than the team in Uncanny X-Men, or maybe it was because the story was pretty easy to follow, but yeah, I enjoyed this one. Seriously, a team that consists of Storm, Psylocke, Warpath, Vampire Jubilee, Domino is pretty damn great in my eyes. Sure, I don't get why Jugger-Colossus is there, but I really can't complain too much when there's only one member of a team that I don't particularly care for out of six characters. I also liked that the War Machine appearance didn't feel overly forced. He's currently serving the US government, so it would make sense he'd get the call to get the X-Men away from the hot spot to prevent any further escalation. Yep, no major complaints with this one.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.“Get your hands off me you inexplicably bald freak!!”

X-Men #25 (Oct. 1993)

Here's the final Retro-Review for the week, and boy have I saved the best for last! This is my favorite comic book of all-time, and is probably the most historically significant X-Men comic book of the 90's. It's been quite some time since I've last read this comic(at least 6 years), but I can't imagine my feelings towards it have changed that radically these past few years. That's enough of an introduction... This is the X-Men vs Magneto to close out the X-Men's 30th anniversary... This is the climatic final battle of the classic Fatal Attractions storyline... What more needs to be said?

X-Men #25:

Summary: With Magneto lording over the Earth in his space station, Avalon, the United Nations enacts the Magneto Protocol... The Protocol activates an array of satellites above the planet that effectively negates Magneto's abilities were he to ever step foot on the Earth again. Seeing this defensive maneuver as an attack upon him, as well as something that would hinder his abilities at recruiting more Acolytes to his cause, Magneto plans a swift retribution... To that end he leaves Avalon and flies to the outer reaches of the Earth's atmosphere where he unleashes a massive electro-magnetic pulse wave that destroys all of the satellites, as well as shorts out every piece of technology on the planet, temporarily pushing the planet back to the Dark Ages and causing the deaths of hundreds, if not thousands of people. Thanks to the Shi'ar technology that powered X-Mansion, the X-Men are able to regain power long before anywhere else on Earth. Grasping the enormity of this latest attack on humanity, Prof. X realizes that it was time to finally put an end to his long relationship with Magneto and puts together a small strike force of mutants to head up to Avalon. Prof. X's team? Wolverine and Gambit for their stealth capabilities, himself and Jean Grey for their telepathic force, and Rogue and Quicksilver for their strength and speed, as well as their unresolved emotional issues with Mags. In order to lead the attack personally, Prof. X reveals an exoskeleton that was fueled by his telepathy, granting him the ability to walk, but at the expense of his telepathy. Cyclops and Storm, the X-Men's co-leaders, try to convince Prof. X not to head to Avalon with such a small strike force, but Prof. X is steadfast in his plan and proceeds to teleport up to Avalon thanks to the Shi'ar's advanced technology. As the X-Men arrive on Avalon, former X-Man Colossus deactivates the space station's security systems since he himself was still conflicted as to whether following Mags was the right move. Free to move about undetected, Prof. X hands Quicksilver a disc and tells him to place it in a terminal near the heart of Avalon's life support system. Quicksilver does as told and the disc grants Prof. X access to Avalon's life support and teleportational systems, at which time he teleports all of the Acolytes(with the exception of Colossus) into life support pods and has the station jettison them. Now realizing he was under attack, Magneto storms down the halls of his silent haven and attacks the intruding X-Men. Prof. X informs his team to distract Mags while he linked powers with Jean to force Magneto to relive his more painful moments, from the deaths of his parents in the Nazi concentration camps, to the death of Doug Ramsay, to his wife abandoning him after she witnessed his powers for the first time. Needless to say, Mags is caught off-balance by the uncharacteristically brutal attack inflicted upon his mind by Prof. X and Jean, and is brought to his knees by the physical assault from the other X-Men. As the intensity of the psionic attack increases, Mags begins to lose his tenuous grip on his sanity and decides that he had to murder Quicksilver for the good of mutantkind. Wolverine interrupts this act of filicide and tears Mags chest open with his adamantium claws. The sight of Wolvie moving in for the kill with the approval of Prof. X is too much for Jean, who breaks contact with Prof. X, allowing Mags a moment of clarity... And a moment is all he needs... In that instant, Magneto halts Wolverine in his tracks and tears the adamantium off of his bones(!!!!!), leaving Wolverine laying near dead at his feet. The rest of the X-Men are too stunned to move as Magneto, weakened by both the earlier mental assault from Prof. X and Jean, as well as Wolvie's gory physical assault, looks to Prof. X to see what his next move would be. Prof. X walks over to the battered Magneto and unleashes the full effect of his mental powers, taking away Magneto's most potent weapon, his mind, effectively leaving Magneto comatose. With that, the two longtime foes fall to the ground, Magneto a mindless shell and Prof. X completely expended from his massive power usage. With Jean telekinetically holding Wolverine's body together and telepathically preventing Wolvie from comprehending the magnitude of the damage done to him, the rest of the X-Men fall into disarray, unsure of what to do. It's at that moment Colossus enters the room and tells the X-Men that their battle had knocked out most of Avalon's systems, meaning they wouldn't be able to teleport back home. Colossus continues, telling his former teammates that he had contacted X-Mansion and that Bishop was heading to the space station in a modified Blackbird jet to collect them and bring them home. Jean asks Colossus to return to the Mansion with the rest of the team, but Colossus refuses, telling Jean that since he had allowed the X-Men free rein in Avalon he felt responsible for much of the day's events, and as such would spend the rest of his days caring for the shattered Magneto. Realizing that Colossus wasn't going to budge from his stance, and not having the time to argue with him, Jean collects her fallen comrades and leaves Colossus and Magneto alone on Avalon.

Thoughts: Yep, I think it's safe to say that this is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the best comic book I have ever read. I've been lucky enough to amass quite the collection of comic books and have read thousands upon thousands of stories, but whenever anybody asks me what my favorite comic is? I invariably come back to this issue... Sure, there have been comics that have moved me more(the Death of Captain Marvel graphic novel always tears me apart whenever I read it), but for the total package? This is the greatest comic in my collection. You don't even really have to be a huge fan of the X-Men to understand this comic book, which is always a sure sign the writer, in this case, Fabian Nicieza, has done his job. This comic expertly combines Nicieza's absolute top of the line storytelling with magnificent dialogue that perfectly tells us the feelings and thoughts of all of the major players in this issue. Throw Andy Kubert's fantastic pencils into the mix and you have a comic book experience that STILL manages to give me goosebumps, YEARS after the first time I read it! I mean seriously, when Mags gives his speech as he's tearing Wolverine apart, I literally got goosebumps... And then the scene where Prof. X just unleashes all of his rage and disappointment at Magneto in one massive telepathic fireball? Goosebumps again! I'd be remiss not to mention Kubert's art during that climatic scene between Magneto and Prof. X... You could almost FEEL the heat coming off the pages as Xavier laid into Magneto! That's how powerful Kubert's pencils are here! As you can probably tell, I could go on and on talking about this comic book. It's probably the reason I'm as big a fan of the medium as I turned out to be. If I had never read this comic, I can honestly say that I'm not sure I'd be AS into comic books as I am... This single issue is also the reason I'll always hold the X-books to such high standards, be that unreasonable or not. If I were to compile a list of my favorite comic books, #2-#10 would probably give me great difficulty putting together, but #1? Piece of cake. If you've never read this comic book, I'd implore you to hunt it down and give it a read. Even if it doesn't connect with you as strongly as it does me, I can promise you you'd still enjoy it. This issue gets the highest recommendation I could possibly give to any comic book... 'Nuff said.

Score: 10 out of 10.My words can't possibly do this scene justice.

X-Men #19

And I've hit bottom... Well, the bottom of this week's new comic pile at least. This was the comic I was least looking forward to. So after this I have no new comics to review for the rest of this week... But don't worry true believers, I'll still be posting reviews and/or scans as we lead up to Wednesday and yet another new comic day. But that's for tomorrow. Let's get this comic out of the way first.

X-Men #19:

Summary: Pixie and Lee Forrester manage to free Lord Summers, Emma Frost and the Invisible Woman from their prison. While that's going on, Magneto is rescuing Wolverine, the Thing and Skull the Slayer from some Scorpius soldiers. The leader of the Scorpius and some of his goons arrive at the gateway back to Earth and confront Reed Richards and Dr. Nemesis. It's at this time Dr. Doom reveals his duplicity to the Scorpius leader and all of the recently freed X-Men and FFers stage an attack on the Scorpius forces. The Scorpius forces fall, and the two teams work together to defeat the leader of the Scorpius, who, as luck would have it, had an amulet that contained enough power to send the two teams back to Earth. Lee and Skull decide to remain in the Scorpius dimension, and the X-Men and FFers are sent back home. The end.

Thoughts: Um, so the whole idea of this storyline was that the X-Men wanted to rescue Lee and bring her home due to a SOS beacon she sent out that was found by the FF... Right? So how does this storyline end? Lee tells the X-Men, “Whoops, I actually want to stay here! Sorry for the inconvenience!” and the X-Men and FF head home... What a waste this storyline was. I really can't think of many positive things to say about this one actually... I guess I enjoyed the interaction between Doom and Magneto? Meh. Here's hoping Victor Gischler gets back to the strong stories he was telling during the early parts of this series, because I really didn't enjoy this one at all.

Score: 3 out of 10.Why couldn't these two be plotting against the X-Men and FF here?

X-Men #18

The best introduction I can come up with for this issue? Here's hoping this is the last part of this storyline! Huzzah!!

X-Men #18:

Summary: The leader of the Scorpius, some evil billionaire and Dr. Doom leave the Scorpius's city to take possession of the gateway Mr. Fantastic had been working on to return the FF and the X-Men back to their home dimension. While the Scorpius army moves forward, Lee Forrester, Skull the Slayer, Wolverine, the Thing and Pixie make allies with the telepathic enemies of the Scorpius and decide to invade the Scorpius's nearly deserted city to rescue the captive Invisible Woman, Lord Summers and Emma Frost. Meanwhile, Magneto leaves Mr. Fantastic and Dr. Nemesis to try to figure out where Doom got off to. Wolvie's group invades the Scorpius's city, but the Scorpius remaining behind sound the alarm which alerts the army outside the walls as to what was going on. The Scorpius's king tells the army to continue onward while he took care of the invaders. By this point, Magneto arrives and asks Doom what he was doing at the head of a hostile alien army. Doom tells Magneto that there was no time to explain, and that if Mags ever wanted to free his captive teammates and escape from the dimension they were currently stuck in, Mags had to place his trust in Doom. This issue ends with Pixie and Lee sneaking deeper into the Scorpius city while the leader of the Scorpius manages to defeat Skull, Thing and Wolvie.

Thoughts: Gah, I was off by an issue... The next issue is the last one for this storyline. To be perfectly honest? I could care less about this storyline. I don't care about Skull, I don't care about Lee, I don't care about the FF, I don't care about every single character in this comic book with the exception of Wolverine, who is in so many damn comic books nowadays I don't really care about him in THIS comic. On top of all that, I hate Doom and Magneto as “good guys” and I'm not fond of the dimension this story is taking place in. So yeah, that pretty much sums up my feelings here. Hows about I just move on and start reading the next comic book...

Score: 3 out of 10.Remember when these two characters were the best villains in Marvel and possibly ALL of comics? Good times...

X-Men #17

It's X-Men time! Last issue this series returned to it's rightful writer and I seriously enjoyed the story as a result. As for this issue, let's see if Victor Gischler can keep up his awesome writing while incorporating tons of obscure/forgotten characters into this series.

X-Men #17:

Summary: This story bounces around between three separate settings, so to make things simple for you, I'll tackle each setting one at a time to make this as easy to read as possible. Aren't I a nice guy? We'll start off with Wolverine, Thing and Pixie, who met up with Skull the Slayer last issue. Skull tells the other three that the missing Lee Forrester had gone off to try to negotiate a peace treaty with some other weird tribe and hadn't returned yet. Since Skull knew where she was headed, and feared she was in danger, he enlists Wolvie and company to head off to look for her. The trio run afoul the “people” Lee was trying to recruit and start fighting, at least until Lee arrives on the scene and tells everybody to settle down since she had everything well in hand. Next we head to Mr. Fantastic, Dr. Nemesis and Magneto who have discovered a way to recreate the dimensional gateway to get back home, but are lacking the necessary power to open said portal. Finally it's on to Lord Summers, Emma Frost and Invisible Woman, who have found missing billionairre George Stanislaus. Stanislaus was living with yet another tribe of “people” and tells Lord Summers and company that if anybody would have information on Lee's whereabouts, it would be the emperor of the tribe he was living with. Summers and his crew head to the emperor, who reveals that he knows a surprising amount of information on the X-Men and FF's plight, before sneak attacking the trio and taking them out with weapons specially designed for each. When they wake up, they discover that they had been betrayed by Dr. Doom, who had sided with the emperor.

Thoughts: Doom betrayed the X-Men and FF? I am shocked and appalled... Okay, not really, but you get the picture. No, I don't believe that Doom really betrayed the two teams here since this isn't the FF series and there's not a snowball's chance in hell that Doom is going to turn on the FF in a series that doesn't say “FF” or “Fantastic Four” on the cover. Most likely Doom will betray the emperor to help the FF/X-Men which will ultimately lead to the two teams escaping this weird little dimension. I've definitely read better stories by Victor Gischler as this issue was your basic, run of the mill, mediocre comic. The sooner the X-Men get out of this dimension and away from the FF the better.

Score: 7 out of 10.I could look at this all day...
As a matter of fact, here's another look...
And what the hell, one more for good luck!

X-Men #16

After a quick detour in DC land, we head back to Marvel, as I take a look at the latest issue of X-Men. I had to skip the last storyarc for this series since it was written by Chris Yost, whose work I refuse to read to this day. With Yost gone though, and the far superior Victor Gischler back, I put this series back on my pull list. Here's hoping Gischler didn't lose a step after his short hiatus.

X-Men #16:

Summary: The annoying FF kids(and Spider-Man) find a weird buoy in the Bermuda Triangle, which leads to FF members, Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Thing and Dr. Doom... wait, Doom is seriously STILL on the FF... Sheesh... What the hell is Jonathan Hickman doing in that series... Anyway, let me try that again... Mr. Fantastic, Thing, Invisible Woman and Dr. Doom head to Crazy Mutie Island(Utopia) and Reed reveals to Lord Summers that there was a holographic message on the buoy(as there usually are on buoys) from Lee Forrester(!). Wow, there's a blast from the past! Lee states that her crew and herself were trapped in another dimension and needed help, before the transmission is dramatically cut off. Lord Summers thanks Reed for the message and tells him that the X-Men would handle things from there, but Reed insists on going too, since the Thing had some experience with the Bermuda Triangle's dimensional rifts... Don't ask. Lord Summers decides to take Nemesis, Wolverine(because he's contractually obligated to be in EVERY Marvel team book), Emma Frost, Pixie(to play the role of spunky teenage girl), and Magneto(who, much like Lord Summers also has a history with Lee), and all of the heroes(as well as Doom and Magneto) head to Reed's dimension hopping submarine... Who owns a dimension hopping submarine?! Anyway, the group boards the sub, finds the dimensional vortex under under the waters, and pass through, but suffer some extensive damage doing so. Upon emerging from the waters, the team spots an allosaurus, which Lord Summers manages to scare away. From there, Lord Summers leaves Reed and Nemesis to fix the sub while he splits the rest of the group up into teams to try to find Lee... Except for Doom, who refuses to be ordered around by Lord Summers, because even as an unlikely good guy, Dr. Doom is AWESOME. Thing, Pixie and Wolverine teleport to some strange pyramid structures where they find some little green men in giant mechanical spiders attacking natives. After dealing with the mechanical spiders, the three heroes are approached by Skull the Slayer?!? Holy obscure superheroes, Batman!!

Thoughts: I have to say, I haven't read a whole lot of Victor Gischler's work, mainly because he's still rather new to the world of comic books, but from what I have read, the man is a master of dialogue and storytelling. In this one issue he managed to take characters I don't like(Lord Summers and Emma), characters I don't care about(Pixie), characters in the wrong role(Doom and Magneto), and incredibly obscure characters(Lee Forrester and Skull the Slayer) and made it all work perfectly together. Seriously, if you would have listed the characters appearing in this issue, and the roles they'd be serving in, I'd have wanted to skip reading this one. But I'll be damned if it didn't all come together perfectly. So yeah, even with bizarre characters in bizarre situations, I'm definitely looking forward to the next issue... Go figure!

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.Poor Wolvie... Every strong guy thinks they can simply pick him up and throw him around now!

Daken: Dark Wolverine #12 & X-Men #15.1

Back to Marvel, and back to the X-Men series again, as Victor Gischler takes over the writing duties again. I'm not really sure what to expect out of these two comic books, as they could range anywhere between awful and awesome... Well, let's give 'em a read and find out.

Daken: Dark Wolverine #12:

Summary: This issue gets started with Daken, still under the effect of the Heat drug, taking on Taskmaster, who had been hired to protect an armored car carrying millions and millions of dollars. Daken(who is hiding his identity and thus isn't using the claws) gets knocked around before Daken's allies open fire on Taskmaster, distracting him. Awesomely, Taskmaster deflects the bullets away with his shield before decapitating a bunch of the goons since he was sick of being shot at... HA! Daken fires a rocket at Taskmaster, but once again, Taskmaster manages to deflect the blast away with his shield before angrily slaughtering the rest of Daken's gang. By this point, the LAPD, as well as some media helicopters have arrived on the scene and Daken is outnumbered and outgunned... Which is exactly what Daken wanted. Daken makes a run for an assault rifle, dodging police bullets, but running smack-dab into Taskmaster, who impales Daken with his sword. With that, Daken collapses to the ground, and the game is over... Or is it?!? With the robbery “foiled”, Daken climbs out of one of the body bags he was put in, kills some cops and steals a police uniform, gaining access to the armored car and it's millions. Daken begins to fill his body bag with the money(HA! again) when he realizes that the wound Taskmaster inflicted on him earlier wasn't healing properly, almost definitely due to the Heat. Before he can figure out what to do about that mess, FBI Agent Kiel climbs into the armored car, gun drawn. It turns out Kiel came to the crime scene and checked the body bags, at which point she realized the numbers didn't add up, leading her to believe somebody with a healing factor must have been involved in the mayhem, in other words, Daken. Kiel demands to know why Daken was cutting people into little pieces all over LA, which surprises Daken, at least until it dawns on him that maybe he WAS responsible for the gruesome murders while under the influence of the Heat. Realizing something was wrong with him, Daken lashes out at Kiel, surprising her and knocking her out cold before retreating back to his home, where he takes another Heat pill, ending this one.

Thoughts: Okay, I'll just come right out and say it. Taskmaster MADE this issue!! Absolutely, positively, 100% made it. He was hilarious, awesome, homicidal, everything Taskmaster SHOULD be. After reading this issue, I'd be all for a Rob Williams penned Taskmaster series, because Williams obviously knows that character well... Unlike Daken... I'm STILL not sold on the whole, “Daken is addicted to drugs” storyline, because it just seems to go so counter to Daken's whole “always in control” characterization. From his beginnings, through Dark Avengers, to Dark Wolverine, Daken has always prided himself on being the guy in control, even if he wasn't. By remaining in control of his actions, he was proving himself better than his father, Wolverine, who was always flying off the handle, going into berserker style rages. I just don't like Daken's obsession with the Heat drugs... Overlooking that though, I did enjoy this comic, and loved the battle between Daken(and his goons) and Taskmaster. I don't think I could ever tire of Daken as a character, I like him that much, but this drug storyline is beginning to try my patience...

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.In answer to that age old question, yes, Taskmaster IS awesome.


X-Men #15.1:

Summary: Moonstar, Lord Summers, Gambit, Storm and Pixie(That line-up and Pixie!? Really?!?) head to a town where they learn an old woman who had taken a bunch of demons into her soul to save her town many years ago was dying. The old woman's husband(a friend of Moonstar's grandfather) hands the X-Men a spell book, and is planning on sealing his soon-to-be dead wife in a small crypt, before placing a protective spell on the crypt, locking the demons inside. Before the team can decide on whether sealing the old woman away was the right move, the new BAD-ASS Ghost Rider arrives on the scene, claiming that there was sin in the town and that it had to be cleansed. While the X-Men are trying to figure out why the hell Ghost Rider was there and why Ghost Rider was now a woman(I'm STILL trying to figure that out...), the old woman dies and the demons emerge from the crypt. The X-Men attack the demons, but are unable to do them much harm, at which point Lord Summers blasts open a hole in the ground to(hopefully) contain the demons. BAD-ASS Ghost Rider tells Moonstar to get on the bike, at which point BAD-ASS Ghost Rider uses her chain to snag the demons, before driving into the hole to take them back to Hell. I'm not really sure why poor Moonstar had to get on the bike, but whatever I guess. After BAD-ASS Ghost Rider and Moonstar emerge from the hole, Lord Summers blasts it closed and Pixie seals it up with a magic spell. With all that taken care of, BAD-ASS Ghost Rider goes after the dead woman's husband and explains that it was his sin that drew her to the town, since he was the one who originally summoned the demons. The old man is sorry for his youthful mistakes, so BAD-ASS Ghost Rider allows him to go, provided he makes amends for his stupid acts. With that, BAD-ASS Ghost Rider drives off, leaving the X-Men to wonder what the HELL happened to Ghost Rider!!!

Thoughts: This was actually a fun little one and done story, even with that damn BAD-ASS Ghost Rider in it... I've got to admit, if BAD-ASS Ghost Rider wasn't in this one, I'd have probably enjoyed it way more, but even with her unwarranted involvement, we still got a pretty good story. Besides a good little story, the characterizations were good as well, as Lord Summers was written like he used to be, before he became the dictatorial asshole he is today. As a matter of fact, all of the X-characters were written well, something that has been sorely lacking in the X-books for the better part of 5 years now. With Victor Gischler back on board with this series, and that useless Chris Yost gone, I expect to be putting this series back onto my pull list. Here's hoping BAD-ASS Ghost Rider(and Yost...) stays far away from this series, and Gischler continues to bring good characterizations and strong stories.

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.Take Pixie out of that group and you have THE X-Men line-up from the 90's!

X-Men #11 & New Mutants #25(!).

Last two reviews for today. The first one is the last issue of X-Men I'll be picking up for the foreseeable future since my least favorite writer(that would be Christopher Yost) will be taking up the writing duties beginning with the next issue. The second comic I'm reviewing? All I have to say about it is this... X-Man returns!!!!!


X-Men #11:

Summary: This issue begins with a few of the Crazy Muties throwing a birthday party for Vampire Jubilee to make her feel normal. The fact that the Crazy Muties(What? They live on Crazy Mutie Island, want am I supposed to call them?) are trying to make Jubilee feel “normal” actually has the opposite effect, causing her to feel like even more of an outsider. After yelling at the poor, confused Crazy Muties, Jubes storms off to brood on a rooftop. Prof. Xavier follows her and rather then try to convince her that she was normal and everything would be all right, Prof. X tells Jubes that she was different now and that she'd have to learn how to cope with these differences. From there Prof. X relates the story of his first encounter with a vampire in Africa back in the 1950's. It seems the young Prof. X saw a photo of an elephant strung up in an issue of National Geographic, and thought it may have been the work of a fellow mutant. After a search and a run-in with some mercenaries who were also trying to figure out who strung up the elephant, Prof. X is saved by a member of a peaceful tribe of vampires. It seems these vampires didn't want to victimize humans anymore and had begun drinking animal blood(hence the strung up, bleeding elephant). After telling Prof. X this story, the vampire vanishes, never to be seen by Prof. X again. In other words, Jubilee didn't have to live the way the vampires she'd met lived(Dracula and Xarus), she could live her life her own way. Now feeling better, Jubes decides to head back inside with the Prof so he could have a piece of cake.

Thoughts: I've always been a big fan of Prof. X, so it should go without saying that I really enjoyed this one. He's always had a great relationship with Jubes(there was an issue of Uncanny right after the X-Cutioner's Song that really hammered that home), so it was great to see these two characters who kind of fell off the map in the 2000's having a nice little heart to heart. If you're not a fan of Xavier, you probably wouldn't care to read about his youthful adventures. But for me? This was a breath of fresh air.

Score: 8 out of 10.How is calling somebody abnormal supposed to make them feel better?!


New Mutants #25:

Summary: This issue begins with the remnants of the New Mutants(minus Cannonball, Karma, and Illyana) along with Wolverine, Shadowcat and Colossus attacking a Nimrod-possessed automotive assembly plant. The team battles robots for a while before Doug Ramsay(who's not dead for some inconceivable reason) figures out that everybody Lord Summers sent on the mission had a personal connection to Illyana... It seems that Illyana had recently killed some Elder Gods and manipulated the X-Men in the process. Because of this, Lord Summers has decided to imprison Illyana permanently on Crazy Mutie Island, which Illyana understands completely. After the New Mutants(and company) take care of the robots, they return to Crazy Mutie Island, where Colossus immediately makes a beeline for Lord Summers' throne room. While Colossus is bitching Lord Summers out over his actions towards Illyana(his sister), Moonstar visits with Cannonball, who was recuperating due to Limbo and/or Legion(I didn't read the past several issues, what do you want from me?!). After the Illyana business and with Cannonball hurt, Moonstar figures that Lord Summers would be breaking up the New Mutants. Cannonball comforts her and they share a kiss(??!) before Moonstar heads in to see Lord Summers. It seems that Lord Summers wasn't breaking up the New Mutants, but instead wanted them to begin tracking down any loose ends the X-Men had dangling out there. The first loose end Lord Summers wanted tied up? X-Man, Nate Grey. Back when Norman Osborn controlled HAMMER, Osborn and his Dark X-Men managed to defeat and capture Nate(back in the Dark X-Men mini-series). Since Osborn's fall from power, Nate hasn't been seen, which is something Lord Summers was disturbed about, since he seems to have suddenly remembered that Nate was his alternate dimensional son... Better late than never, right? And what of young Nate? It seems he's been imprisoned and was strapped to a machine that was forcing him to believe he was being hunted by the Avengers. The man controlling the machine? None other than Nate's Age of Apocalypse enemy, Sugar Man(!!!!!)!

Thoughts: Before I get to what I thought about this one, I have something I want to say first. I have not now, nor have I ever claimed to be impartial. I'm not one of those delusional bloggers who thinks that they are real journalists, and as such holds some warped notion of journalistic integrity. I know better. I'm not a journalist, I'm just a guy who loves reading and talking about comics. So yes, I'm a VERY biased reviewer... So there. Why did I just go on that spiel? Because Nate Grey is my favorite comic book character ever, hands down. There's nobody else that's even in the same league as Nate in my mind. Sure, I like other characters(Bart Allen, Jason Todd, Hawkeye, Steve Rogers, Mr. Sinister, etc), but my feelings for Nate are on a whole other level. That's why I decided to start picking up this series again. Well, that and the fact that Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning were taking over the writing chores, although to be totally honest, I'd have picked up this comic regardless of WHO was writing it... It was just a HUGE bonus for me that DnA happened to be the guys writing this one. Was the story perfect? I don't know... All I know is that my all-time favorite comic book character was in this one, battling against Thor(in his mind), being tortured by one of his old villains, and I couldn't be happier! So I'm going to smile, I'm going to be happy, and yes, I'm going to give this comic a score way higher than it probably should get... But hey, at least I'm honest about it!

Score: 9 1/2 out of 10.Nate vs Thor?!? Yes please!!!!!!

FF #2 & X-Men #10

FF #2:

Summary: Mr. Fantastic reveals to Thing that Doom was living with them for the time being, which chases Thing(and Dragon Man) to a nearby bar. Reed asks Sue to go after Thing to try to talk some sense into him, and Sue decides to leave, mainly because she didn't want to be in the same building as Doom either. Reed, his father, Spider-Man and all of those annoying kids get together and try to figure out how to fix Doom's brain, with Valeria being the one who comes up with the solution... The solution being to go to Latveria, where Kristoff could be used to give Doom his missing memories back, basically a reversal of the process Doom(or his Doombots actually) had done to Kristoff when they thought Doom was dead. So Reed, brain-addled Doom, Spidey, Reed's father and Valeria go to Latveria, where Kristoff is all too happy to go along with the plan... Um, okay. Everything goes according to plan, and the only real drama is the one split-second when Reed has the chance to either purge Doom's memories or transfer them. Being a do-gooder, Reed transfers the memories instead of, you know, ending the threat of Doom in the most humane way possible. With his memories restored, Doom reveals that he had made a deal with Valeria a while back, and was a man of his word. That deal? For Doom to defeat Reed.

Thoughts: This comic left me with quite the dilemma... Usually when I finish reading something I immediately give it score, that way I'd have that number prepared for when I type up the review. With this comic, for the life of me, I just couldn't decide on a score... I mean, I knew I wasn't going to give this comic anything under a 7(which is pretty much my score for a good, perfectly acceptable comic), but I wasn't sure if this comic should have been in the 8's, since that's reserved for comics I feel were better than average. This comic was just sort of there. It was nothing we really haven't seen/read a million times before. Unnamed Villain has some sort of malady. Unnamed Hero has to decide on whether or not he should help Unnamed Villain. Unnamed Hero(sometimes with some help from Unnamed Family Member/Friend/Ally) finally decides to help fix Unnamed Villain, at which point the fixed Unnamed Villain moves to attack Unnamed Hero. Just replace Unnamed Hero with Reed, Unnamed Villain with Doom, and Unnamed Family Member with Valeria, and you've got this comic. Should Reed have helped Doom? NO! When given the chance to purge Doom's memories from both Kristoff and Doom's mind, should he have? YES! Does he? NO! So now all of the terrible things Doom does in the future can be directly attributed to Reed not pulling the plug on Uncle Victor's brains.

Score: 7 out of 10.This went on for TWO pages!!!


X-Men #10:

Summary: With Wolverine, Storm, and Gambit turned into giant lizard-like creatures thanks to Dark Beast's machine, it's up to The Whore and Spider-Man to figure out a way to reverse the process before they're torn apart by The Whore's feral teammates. Spidey tries to come up with this long-winded way of fixing the X-Men(creating and then rigging up a device to counter the waves that were responsible for changing the X-Men), while the Whore wants to take a more practical approach... Smash the machine with a wrench. Hey, that would work too! The lizard X-Men attack the duo, and Spidey decides to hold the lizards off while the Whore went back to the machine and made with the smashing. Upon finding the machine, the Whore is confronted by Dark Beast and his lizard assistant who toss her around the lab, but allow her the chance to free the Lizard, who had been caught and experimented on by Dark Beast, and was none too happy about that fact. Lizard smashes Dark Beast's lizard making machine, which frees the X-Men(and all of Dark Beast's other lizard experiments) from their lizard-like states. Lizard then smashes Dark Beast over the head with his tail, and warns him to never step foot in his sewer domain again, or else. By this point a very beaten up Spidey, along with the X-Men arrive on the scene and help the Whore take Dark Beast into custody. Back on Crazy Mutie Island, Lord Summers gloats, I guess just to make me deduct a 1/2 point from the final score...

Thoughts: Man, this storyline really reminded me just how awesome Dark Beast is. It also made me want to pull out the Age of Apocalypse x-over again... I have to say, I REALLY enjoyed this entire storyline. Too bad I'll be dropping this series since Yost is taking it over... Oh well. Hopefully he leaves after one storyline and Victor Gischler comes back, because Gischler was really starting to hit his stride in this series...

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.Yes, Dark Beast IS awesome.

Quick Hits: 3/30/11

Four more reviews up for tonight, as I've managed to read nearly ALL of the comics in my new comic pile! Of course I'll be picking up a whole mess of new comics tomorrow, so my new comic pile will be replenished, but it was nice to almost see my nightstand again... Besides that, I just got the Avengers: The Korvac Saga hardcover from Amazon earlier today, and plan on beginning it later on tonight. That's all from me, let's get to those reviews.

X-Men #9:

Summary: The Whore, Wolverine, Storm, Gambit and Spidey are still searching the sewers of New York hoping to locate the Lizard, who they believe is transforming disgruntled teenage outcasts into lizard creatures like himself. However, we learn early on in this one that Lizard had been captured and his work was being corrupted by Dark Beast(I was right!!!). Being a mad scientist, Dark Beast was intrigued by Dr. Connors work, and as such wanted to perfect it even more. While the X-Men(and Spidey) are making their way through the sewers, Dark Beast is sending lizard teenagers out to stop them. Eventually the X-Men and Spidey make their way into Dark Beast's inner sanctum, where he pushes his lizard button and transforms all of the heroes, except for The Whore(who was safe in her diamond form) into bloodthirsty lizard creatures.

Thoughts: Dark Beast was in this comic, so it was automatically a good read in my book! Whenever one of the Age of Apocalypse characters shows up in a comic, I am one happy camper, especially since Dark Beast, besides Nate Grey of course, is my favorite AOA refuge. Besides my Dark Beast lust, the story here was actually quite good. It makes perfect sense that a mind as depraved as Dark Beast's would be enamored by Curt Connors work, and would want to perfect it. Dark Beast using a bunch of kids who were outcasted by society also made perfect sense, since they would be the most likely types of kids who would run away from home, thus raising no alarms in most people's heads. I also liked the ending, with Dark Beast turning the X-Men(and Spidey) into Lizard creatures. The only bad thing about that is that it means The Whore is going to wind up saving the day, and that is going to piss me of royally... But until that happens, this comic was all good.

Score: 8 out of 10.Awesomeness, thy name is Dark Beast!


Wolverine and Jubilee #3(of 4):

Summary: We begin this issue with Wolverine trying to catch the vampire woman who had Jubilee under her spell. Unfortunately for Wolvie, the vampire is too fast for him, and can easily avoid his attack. Eventually the vampire does something to Jubilee that makes Jubilee suddenly vanish. The vampire tells Wolvie that if he ever wanted to see Jubes again he'd assist her on some sort of errand. With no real choice, Wolvie agrees to go. Wolvie heads to Chernobyl, while Jubes awakens in some strange empty world. Rockslide's hands also begin to glow, which he believes is from when he crushed some sort of mystical amulet a few issues back. To figure out what was up, Rockslide heads to the place where he found the amulet and is attacked by a dragon. Back with Wolvie, he heads under Chernobyl and discovers a strange, handless man, who tells Wolvie that he won't part with whatever the vampire woman wanted. Rapidly tiring of the weird man, Wolvie kills him and tears open the box the man was trying to protect, finding a mess of magical amulets, one of which seemed to be holding Jubilee.

Thoughts: First things first, the Rockslide scene's were ABSOLUTELY pointless. I don't get why Rockslide is still alive while so many better young mutants are dead(Wallflower, Icarus, Wolf Cub, Tag, etc.)... No, we get Rockslide, Armor and Dust... Anyway, the story here was okay, as it has slowly gotten better as this mini-series has moved forward. Sure, it's nothing great, but it is an okay way to spend a few minutes.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.Usage #265 for Wolverine's claws, opening stubborn packages.


Uncanny X-Force #6:

Summary: Fantomex is dealing with those blasted Deathlok cyborgs who have killed his mother and managed to steal the World. While that is going on, the members of X-Force are actually undecided as to whether they should bother helping Fantomex or not, since some members(Psylocke and Deadpool) are still miffed about Fantomex murdering Kid Apocalypse. Fantomex gets an assist from the main Deathlok(you know, the one from the 90's), and manages to get the World away from Captain America-Deathlok. By this point X-Force finally does arrive on the scene and help Fantomex and Deathlok get away, as well as capturing Captain America-Deathlok. The team forces Cap-Deathlok to interface with EVA and we learn that these Deathlok's are from a future where most of the super-heroes had been turned into Deathloks, which ushers in a utopia for mankind. However, the Deathlok's are sent back in time because Apocalypse has begun to bring their Utopian society crashing down. Archangel can't understand why the Deathloks were trying to kill Fantomex, since he was the one who killed Kid Apocalypse. Before the team can get any more answers from Cap-Deathlok, he kills himself after realizing all the evil he had done. Realizing that they had to halt the Father, who was controlling the Deathloks, Fantomex decides that the team had to enter the World to find and kill the Father.

Thoughts: I was finally getting into this story towards the end. The last issue left me a bit confused(okay, A LOT confused!), but Cap-Deathlok did a great job of filling in a lot of the blanks for me this issue. I did find it interesting that the Deathloks seemed interested in preventing Apocalypse from messing up their future society and have decided to go after Fantomex... Could that mean that the big A was somehow able to hop from Kid Apocalypse to Fantomex before the fateful shot was fired? I also liked that some members of X-Force(notably Psylocke) were still holding a grudge against Fantomex for his murdering of Kid Apocalypse. That's the type of wound that's not going to heal anytime soon, so I'm glad that Rick Remender keeps referencing back to that moment. I'm still not enjoying this story as much as the prior one, but we're definitely getting better.

Score: 7 out of 10.Well there's a conversation stopper for you!


Superman/Batman #82:

Summary: With some help from Dr. Occult and *sigh* Detective Chimp, Batman breaks into some wannabe magical villains base in an effort to figure out who they were working for. The punks don't know much, only that their mysterious benefactors were trying to preform the Final Spell on the Witch's Highway. Bats takes this info back to Occult and Chimp, which leads to Occult realizing that they were going to need the assistance of a witch. Meanwhile, Superman learns that he was pulled into the future by an older Batman. Old Bats tells Supes that the magicians DID manage to preform the Final Spell, which sacrificed the sun to some dark gods. All of the good sorcerers on Earth then banded together and recreated the sun, but it was a magical sun, and the Earth was now overrun with demons. Needless to say, Supes wants to know why Old Bats simply didn't go back in time to warn the Justice League or somebody as to what the evil magicians were planning on doing. Before he can get an answer though, they are attacked by the Creeper and an army of Solomon Grundys. After a bit of a battle, Old Bats tells Supes that since he was under a magic sun he had different powers, and Supes manages to banish the villains away. Back in the present, Bats, Chimp and Occult manage to track down a witch, more specifically, Klarion Bum... Bum... Bum... The Witch Boy!

Thoughts: This story is starting to grow on me... I guess that's no surprise, seeing as that I AM a sucker for futuristic, dystopian society stories... There's still lots that needs to be explained(why Old Bats needed Supes, what the Witch's Highway was, why Old Bats didn't warn anybody in the present as to what was going to happen, etc), but so far I'm enjoying this one. Plus, and I'm a bit embarrasses to admit this, I am a bit of a fan of Klarion as well...

Score: 7 out of 10.Bum... Bum... Bum...

Quick Hits: 2/26/11

Howdy, it's a tired and snow-weary X again(who else would it be?), ready to bring the awesome with a new Quick Hits review. As I type this up I just came in from shoveling snow all day(I typed this up on Friday and proofed it today), so if it makes less sense than usual, blame my worn out body and mind. Okay, with the excuses out of the way, let it be known that 3 Marvels and 1 DC make up this post, so without any further adieu, let's get to it!

X-Men #8:

Summary: Picking up from last issue, Spidey convinces the WORST ASSORTMENT OF X-MEN EVER to stop hunting the giant lizards in the NYC sewer system since Spidey believed they had been unwittingly turned into lizard-like creatures by the insane Lizard... Hmm, you know, calling Emma Frost, Wolvie, Storm and Gambit the WORST grouping of X-Men ever probably isn't very fair of me... I'd say the worst possible grouping of X-Men would look something like this: Emma Frost, Shadowcat, Maggot, and Colossus. Anyway the X-Men and Spidey head to a hotel room and share notes, learning that the lizard creatures had been kidnapping a bunch of nerdy teenagers. They manage to discover that all of the kids who had been abducted by the lizard creatures visited the same website(X-Man Comic Blog)and that soon thereafter were abducted. Now with a lead, the heroes begin to dig deeper into this mystery website. We end this issue learning that it wasn't Lizard himself who was transforming the children, but somebody who had captured Lizard and was using the children as experiments.

Thoughts: Okay. The only way this story can possibly be saved at this point is if the mystery villain is Dark Beast. I half suspect that it is him from the tiny glimpse of the villain we saw, but not really enough to say with any degree of definitiveness. Unfortunately, the story itself is doing absolutely nothing for me. With the exception of Wolvie(and I guess Storm), I could care less about the X-characters in this issue, Spidey really hasn't lent much to the story, and the kids who were captured, especially the one we met this issue REALLY didn't come across as very sympathetic. Hell, I was GLAD when the kid in this issue was abducted! By this point in this series I'm really hoping Victor Gishler revisits the vampire stuff again... SOON!

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.Please be Dark Beast... Please be Dark Beast... Please be Dark Beast...


Detective Comics #874:

Summary: We kick things off with Commissioner Gordon meeting up with his son(I honestly didn't know he had a son!) at a coffee shop. James Jr. talks with Gordon for a while, apologizing for his past misbehavior and swearing that while he did a lot of bad things, he never killed anybody, as Babs and Dick had always suspected. James Jr. reveals that he had been diagnosed as a psychopath, and was taking experimental medicine to help him. Gordon doesn't know what to think and James Jr. leaves, telling his father that hopefully Gordon could find it in his heart to forgive him. From there we head to Batman(Dick Grayson) and Red Robin staking out a ship. It seems that the guys on the ship had stolen a rare bird from an aviary in Gotham(an aviary that James Jr. had coincidentally visited recently as well...), and the two former Robins climb board and attack. Unfortunately for Dick, he is still reeling from the drugging he suffered at the hands of the Dealer and is WAY off his game, getting knocked into the drink and swearing that a giant whale was in there with him wanting to eat him. Red Robin manages to take care of all the goons and pulls Dick out of the water, asking what happened. Dick almost admits that he was seeing things, but ultimately withholds that information. From there the two heroes had into the ship's underbelly and find dozens of stolen exotic animals, while this issue ends with Gordon staring at a bunch of unsolved case files involving murdered children.

Thoughts: I actually loved this comic. Oddly enough though, it's hard to verbalize why... I mean there was nothing special about this comic, but it really satisfied me while I was reading it. The scene with Gordon and his son was really well done, with James Jr. coming across as both remorseful and creepy at the same time, a REAL hard thing to pull off. Besides that we had Dick pushing himself too hard and almost paying the price for it. It was great to see Red Robin in this issue, and I was happy to see Tim save Dick, as opposed to the other way around(how things usually go). So far I may have to say that Scott Snyder's run on Detective is the best of the five main Bat-books right now(Batman Inc, Dark Knight, Batman and Robin and Batman).

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.Dick Grayson and Tim Drake teaming up? Yes please.


Deadpool #33:

Summary: Our favorite red clad mercenary finds himself stuck out in space after his space car ran out of gas. Pool sends out a distress call and is picked up by a tow truck. The tow truck owner was expecting to find the space car's former owner inside, Macho Gomez, but Pool smugly gloats about having killed Macho last issue. Macho's wife comes after Pool, and the two wind up falling in love and getting married... Huh. Since Macho's wife was a part owner of the tow truck/repo company, Pool is given a job, and goes about botching everything he's asked to do. Finally the company's owner and the tow truck driver(who held a flame for Pool's new wife) decide to send Pool on a suicide mission, telling him he had to go out, hunt down and kill the inane living moon, Id. The idea of killing a planet(Pool refuses to call it a moon) excites Pool and he prepares to embark, not realizing he had no chance of succeeding.

Thoughts: I enjoyed this one. It wasn't spectacular, and the story was kind of dumb, but dumb works REALLY well in a DP comic, so in this case, dumb is good! From Pool marrying Macho's wife, to the company's owner plotting against him, to Pool's excitement over what was an obvious suicide mission, this comic was a fun read, and that's all I really ask for from a Deadpool comic.

Score: 8 out of 10.Disturbing...


Invincible Iron Man #501:

Summary: We begin with a flashback of a younger Tony Stark meeting Dr. Otto Octavius(the future Dr. Octopus) at a science expo. Tony is a self-absorbed little twerp, while Otto is always trying to gain the attention and respect of anybody who could help him continue his research. Needless to say they didn't get along, and as a matter of fact, a drunken Tony ends up taking a run at Otto... HA! In the present, we get a glimpse into Tony's day, as he meets with one of his workers about the designs for the New Asgard, does a TV interview about his new company and repulsor powered car, and attends a fashion show, mainly to ogle the models. At the end of the day, Tony is relaxing in his hotel room, watching his interview from earlier when a missile crashes into his room, destroying it. Luckily for Tony, he saw what was happening and had grown his Iron Man suit on and confronted the machine that fired the missile. Stark is surprised(and annoyed) to see Dr. Octopus's face on the video screen of the machine. Tony threatens Octopus until Octopus reveals that he had gotten his hands on a thermonuclear bomb, and was planning on setting it off in Manhattan unless Tony met with him on Octopus's space station. Not wanting to push the maniac's buttons, Tony flies to the station and meets Octopus face to face. Octopus explains that he was dying from a combination of brain and nerve damage. Knowing that Stark once managed to revive himself from a vegetative state, Octopus basically wants Tony to fix him, or admit that the great Tony Stark couldn't fix Octopus's problems. Tony is struck silent for a moment before telling Octopus that he couldn't fix him. Octopus wants Tony to try, since if Tony succeeds, Octopus has a new lease on life, while Tony failing would prove to Octopus, and the egotistical Tony that he wasn't as great as he always made himself out to be. Tony still doesn't want to help, so Octopus explains that besides the bomb he hid in New York, he had also kidnapped one of the scientists at Tony's company, and that Sandman and Electro were under orders to kill the scientist if they didn't hear from Octopus every five minutes. Octopus gloats a bit about how Tony was doomed to fail, since there was no conceivable way to help Octopus, while Tony calls Octopus pathetic, and the type of villain who was so insignificant that he never even bothered to worry about him. In the end, Tony looks at several brain scans of Octopus and decides that he'll at least attempt to save Octopus's life.

Thoughts: Trust me, this comic was way better then this review might have made it seem. This was my last review of the day, and as I stated in the open, I'm not exactly firing on all cylinders. With that said, I LOVED this comic! It was basically just two characters talking in the past and present, but Matt Fraction did it so well I was engrossed by each page. From Octopus wanting to see Tony fail at saving him, just to see the arrogant Tony humbled, to Tony's awesome digs about how little he thought of Octopus the scientist as well as Octopus the villain, this comic was a blast to read. Fraction has a few different ways he can go with this story too, which makes the rest of the storyline intriguing. Tony can succeed in spite of all of Octopus's taunts, thus saving the life of a notorious villain, or he can fail, something he doesn't do too well with. It's a comic like this that makes me glad I started reading Iron Man again.

Score: 9 out of 10.Tony Stark coming out and saying that he wasn't sorry Dr. Octopus was dying was awesome!

X-Men #7

Review: As per the advice of his PR firm, Lord Summers sends his mutant army into the world to do good deeds... Yes, even Wolverine. After a meeting between Lord Summers and the head of the PR firm, Lord Summers decides to send a team of X-Men across the country to New York to investigate rumors of strange reptilian creatures menacing the New York City sewers. Oh, and the team he sends to the sewer would be Wolverine, Emma Frost, Gambit, and Storm, who is a well known to suffer from claustrophobia, thus making this the WORST grouping of X-Men EVER!!! After some crawling around, the X-Men discover a room full of bones, and a bunch of lizard-like creatures who run away. Wolvie charges after the creatures but is tossed aside by Spider-Man(?!??)who tells the X-Men that if they want to get at the lizard creatures they have to go through him.

Thoughts: Well, I didn't think I'd be saying it this soon, but here it is; please bring back the vampires! This comic was alright, but definitely a huge step down from the past 6 issues. Sorry, I don't care about a bunch of psychotic mutants living secluded on Crazy Mutie Island attempting to show the world that they aren't a threat and are actually super-heroes... Because nothing says “not crazy” like an army of mutant separatists living on an island with MAGNETO!!! I mean no PR work in the WORLD can spruce up the image of that man! Why they decided to travel to New York to tackle the lizard problem is also a bit of a mystery, as the X-Men have been operating around San Fransisco... I guess Victor Gischler really wanted that obligatory Spider-Man guest appearance out of the way. As it is, I could care less about this storyline, or the X-Men on this current mission. The sooner we move on, the better.

Score: 6 out of 10.Wolverine, Emma Frost, Gambit and Storm in the NYC sewers... If that's not a recipe for disaster I don't know what is!

X-Men #6

Review: With Xarus' vampire assault on Crazy Mutie Island(also known as Utopia)having gone up in flames, the X-Men decide to strike back at the young vampire leader, since they knew exactly where he was holed up thanks to Wolverine. Meanwhile, Dracula enters Xarus' war room and announces that he was back and that he'd be retaking leadership of the vampire nation. Xarus demands that his vampire minions attack Dracula(his father), but the other vampires aren't dumb enough to take on Dracula. Xarus on the other hand IS dumb enough, and attacks his father. Dracula basically mops the floor with Xarus and tears his head from his neck, ending his son's brief rule over the vampire nation. Vampire Jubilee goes to attack Dracula for what he had done, so Dracula swats her away with no difficulty. By this point, the X-Men and Blade have arrived at the vampire den and come across Xarus' corpse. With Xarus dead, Lord Cyclops decides that there's no reason to fight the vampires, to which Blade wholeheartedly disagrees. Blade makes a move to attack Dracula, so Lord Cyclops blasts Blade unconscious to show Dracula that he didn't want any further troubles with him nor his vampire minions. Dracula hints that he may attack Lord Cyclops and the X-Men just for the hell of it, but Cyclops warns Dracula against such a course of actions, since they had possession of Dracula's head for 17 hours before the X-Men had brought him back to life. Lord Cyclops implies that they could incapacitate Dracula with the flick of a switch, and although Dracula doesn't fully believe the words of Lord Cyclops, he decides against taking action against the X-Men for now. He also hands Vampire Jubilee over to them as a goodwill gesture, and this issue ends with Vampire Jubilee sitting prisoner in Crazy Mutie Island with the X-Men unsure of what they should do with her.

Thoughts: Meh. I really enjoyed the way this storyline began, but the ending left me kind of disappointed. Sure I knew the X-Men would win in the end(they always win...)but I was hoping they'd suffer a few more vampire casualties before things ended. In the end, all we got was Jubilee turned into a vampire and Xarus, who I found myself enjoying, decapitated. I may be in the minority, but I DO think turning Jubilee into a vampire was a good move. First off, she has strong connections to the heart of the X-Men(Wolverine), plus it's not like she was doing anything else since Decimation. Why the hell not turn her into a vampire and freshen up her character a bit? Of course what I really wanted was for Xarus, Dracula, Vampire Jubilee or pretty much ANYBODY to kill Lord Cyclops, but alas, that was not to be... Oh well, here's hoping SOMEBODY kills that arrogant bastard eventually.

Score: 6 out of 10.Bite him... Bite him!!!

X-Men #5

Overall: We get things started here with Cyclops preparing the gathered mutants on Crazy Mutie Island(also known as Utopia)for the impending vampire invasion. The leader of the vampires, Xarus, has massed his forces and is sending hundreds of vampires to Utopia to kill Cyclops(yay!)and turn as many mutants into vampires as possible. And leading Xarus' forces? None other than Wolverine, who had been turned into a vampire. With Vampire Wolvie at the helm, the vampires begin to push their way onto Utopia, however, Cyclops takes out a little gizmo, pushes a button and stops Vampire Wolvie dead in his tracks. It appears that before Cyclops sent Wolverine out to locate Jubilee, he injected Wolvie with some nanites. These nanites turned off Wolverine's healing factor, allowing him to be captured and turned by the vampires. At the push of a button, Cyclops reactivates Wolverine's healing factor and Wolvie's healing factor manages to fight off the vampiric influence, changing Vampire Wolvie back into plain old Wolvie. Wolvie is pretty pissed that Cyclops did all this to him without informing him, but is even angrier at the vampires, and as such Wolvie leads a renewed push against the vampires, driving them from Utopia. Back at vampire central, Xarus is shocked and horrified about the losses his forces suffered, but is even more horrified when his thought to be dead father, Dracula, strolls into his control room and informs Xarus that he was in some deep trouble.

See, here's the problem. I hate Cyclops passionately. I don't like his whole bizarre shy mutant turned crazed dictator shtick, and as such, I wanted the vampires to win and wipe out the mutants. Yes, I KNOW that could never happen, but still... So Cyclops curing Wolverine and turning the vampire horde back disappointed me. The story was good, and I was into this comic from beginning to end, I was just disappointed that “my” side didn't win. Hopefully Wolverine stabs Cyclops next issue for the way Cyclops played him for a fool. I doubt it'll happen, but that's still what I'm hoping to see!

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.Vampire Wolverine's line about Jean was SO true...

X-Men #4

Overall: While the X-Men try to come up with a battle plan to halt the vampire incursion into San Fransisco, Wolverine(who is now a vampire, thanks to Jubilee)is itching to get onto Utopia to attack his former teammates. Meanwhile, Xarus(the leader of the vampire horde)learns from his scientists that Wolverine's healing factor has been unable to fight off the vampire influence, and that for all intents and purposes, Wolverine is now a full-blown vampire. Cyclops decides to try to talk to Xarus in order to ascertain why he's decided to invade San Fransisco, so the two set up a video chat. Xarus explains that vampires and mutants are practically the same, feared and hated minorities, and that they should stick together. Cyclops says hogwash, well he doesn't actually say that, but that was the gist of what he said, so Xarus brings Wolverine into view of the camera. Wolverine tells Cyclops that he's made a mistake by denying Xarus his wishes, and that Wolverine himself would be coming to Utopia to say hello to all of his old friends. With that, the vampires hang up and Xarus decides to launch an all-out attack against the X-Men in order to enslave as many mutants as possible. This issue ends with Xarus telling a happy Wolverine to kill, not capture Cyclops.

This issue was kind of like the calm before the storm. It was setting up that Wolverine is a vampire now, and that his healing factor has been unable to fight off the vampire infection. The X-Men are beginning to realize how dire the threat is, and Dracula is missing in action. Next issue should be the big one, with Wolverine leading the vampire horde to Utopia, where you'd have to believe that the X-Men have a trap waiting. So this issue was pretty much your run of the mill set-up/placeholder issue. It was okay, it set up the next few issues, but it wasn't anything great.

Score: 7 out of 10.Vampire Wolverine sure is a drama queen.

Quick Thoughts on: X-Men #3

X-Men #3: Writer: Victor Gischler. Pencils: Paco Medina

Quick Thoughts: After completing their various missions, the X-Men resurrect an antagonistic Dracula, who they ask to assist them in reeling in his rogue son. Meanwhile, Cyclops sends Wolverine out to track down and bring Jubilee back to Utopia. Unfortunately for Wolvie, Jubilee is now fully embracing her vampire side and ends up biting and turning Wolverine into a vampire as this issue ends.

So Wolveroonie is a vampire now... I'm not sold, but I guess we'll see. I like the fact that Dracula didn't just throw his hat in with the X-Men, since they obviously need him a lot more than he needs them. I'm still enjoying this storyline and for me, that's all that matters.

Score: 8 out of 10.My, what big teeth you have Wolverine...

Picto-Review: X-Men: Curse of the Mutants-Storm & Gambit #1

X-Men: Curse of the Mutants-Storm & Gambit #1: Writer: Chuck Kim. Pencils: Chris Bachalo.


We get things started with a flashback(note the black and white coloring!)where Storm and Gambit are told to retrieve the headless body of Dracula in order to return the dethroned King of the Vampires to life. Why only Storm and Gambit? The Vampire base is surrounded by a magical field preventing the X-Men from teleporting a large force in, so with Storm and Gambit both being accomplished thieves, they get the call.


Storm and Gambit manage to sneak onto Creepy Vampire Island and gain entrance to the vampire base via a cave.


Unfortunately, the two are discovered by a roving band of vampire guardians and attacked.


Luckily for Gambit and Storm, Dracula's first born son, Janus, joins the fray and assists the two X-Men. Janus also wants his father brought back to life and his treacherous brother Xarus defeated.


So Storm goes off to discover the means in which the vampires were keeping teleporters off of their island, and Gambit and Janus head off to find Dracula's decapitated body. Unfortunately, the vampires were expecting Gambit and Janus...


Gambit and Janus wind up fighting a losing battle against the vampire horde, while Storm discovers that the vampires were using innocent civilians as part of a black magic ritual to prevent intruders from accessing their island home. Faced with the prospect of failing her mission and costing Gambit and Janus their lives, or killing the innocents to break the spell, Storm decides to kill the captives to break the vampire spell, thus allowing the X-Men to teleport a team to the island.


With that, the X-Men arrive, beat up the vampires and collect Dracula's body. So although Storm's mission was a success, she can't help but feel terribly guilty for killing the innocent victims of the vampire's spell.

What I Thought: I actually really enjoyed this comic. To be honest, I've really enjoyed this whole, “Vampires vs Mutants” thing WAAAY more then I thought I would. I'd all but given up hope on the X-books, but so far the vampire storyline has been the best thing to come out of the X-books in 5/6 years(although that's not really saying much). It was nice to see Storm return to the type of character she was back in the 90's, before her ridiculous and wholly unneeded marriage to Black Panther. Storm belongs with the X-Men, and she should be in a leadership type of role(better her then that damned Emma Frost!). Gambit also fit into this issue well. Granted he was more or less the damsel in distress, but he served his purpose and didn't really annoy me much. All in all, good work here. This storyline is slowly giving me some hope that the dark days of the X-books(thanks to writers like Chris Yost and Mike Carey)are finally coming to an end.

Score: 8 out of 10.

X-Men #1

X-Men #1: Writer: Victor Gischler. Pencils: Paco Medina.

Review: This series begins with a vampire strolling to a busy outdoor cafe in San Francisco and exploding in a mass of blood, saturating Jubilee, as well as several other civilians. Pixie, who was lunching with Jubilee, takes Jubilee back to the X-Men's headquarters and the doctors look her over. After some investigating, the X-Men realize that it was a vampire who exploded, and that somehow the vampire's blood had infected Jubilee with vampirism. Wolverine, Pixie and Archangel decide to see if they can find any more vampires, and they come across an abandoned vampire lair, full of dead bodies that had been drained of their blood. Now positive that vampires were involved, Wolvie reports back to Cyclops that Dracula was indeed in town, however, unbeknownst to Wolvie, it's not Dracula who was leading the army of vampires, but his evil son. This issue concludes with Cyclops ordering Wolvie to bring in his team so they could hold a war council to decide what should be done about the vampire problem.

What I Thought: Meh. This comic was okay, and probably better then all of the other X-books on the market today combined(except for the usually great X-Factor), but it was mainly a set-up story, and it featured all of the characters that have made me despise the X-Men so much as of late(Cyclops and to a lesser extent, Wolverine). I was hoping this title would give us a new X-team without Cyclops and Wolvie, but alas, that doesn't seem to be in the cards. Oh well... Hopefully next issue will feature less Cyclops and more vampires.

Score: 7 out of 10.Wolverine: Vampire Slayer!