Best of the Rest! April 3rd edition.

Hey X-Maniacs, X here to start another Best of the Rest post.  As always, I'll toss a few reviews out there, and then my erstwhile lackey, JT, will add a few reviews.  JT's reviews will have blue text.  And yeah, enough talk, let's knock these reviews out.

Indestructible Hulk #6: Bruce and his science crew use some uru Thor lent SHIELD(that's weird...) to find some mysterious element in Jotunheim(where the Frost Giants lurk).  Thor from the past shows up(wha?!) as do Frost Giants.  Bruce hulks up, and all of this leads to Hulk lifting Thor's hammer...  Yeah, under no circumstances should Hulk ever lift Thor's hammer.  So I'm guessing either a) the hammer rose because it was heading back to Thor, or b) this is a wacky alternate dimension where anybody can lift the hammer.  Regardless, this issue seemed kind of average-ish to me.  With Mark Waid and Walter Simonson, I was expecting more than this.  Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.

Stormwatch #19: What the HELL happened to this comic?!  Ugh...  This issue was horrible, and nearly impossible to figure out...  Some aliens kill Adam One at the beginning of time(?), which alters reality(you'd think DC would shy away from doing THAT...), leading to Stormwatch being called Skywatch. with (some) different members.  It was a mess and it ended with a Lobo appearance.  So yeah, I hated it and hope that Jim Starlin rights this ship really fast.  This used to be my favorite DC comic...  Score: 3 out of 10.

Hypernaturals #10: We seem to be inching ever closer to finding out that Sublime was right and that the Quantinuum AI may just be up to no good.  Or maybe it's just trying to protect humanity...  Regardless, Sublime has had more than enough of working with the Hypernaturals and takes off.  As for Evil Sublime, he's attacking Thinkwell's homeworld.  So yeah, I finally managed to read this series, from issue #1-10, and I liked it.  DnA doing a space tale is always a good thing, and this series is no different.  Sublime is rapidly becoming a favorite of mine too.  Score: 7 out of 10.

Venom #33: This issue revolves around Toxin(Eddie Brock) battling against the mysterious(still unnamed!) cannibal from last issue.  The cannibal escapes from Toxin and ends up running into Venom.  This one ends with Venom knocking the cannibal out and coming face-to-face with Toxin.  Which is what I've been waiting for!!  This issue proved something important to me...  If Cullen Bunn stays away from all the demonic and supernatural junk, he CAN write a good Venom series!  He proved it with the U-Foes and he proved it again here.  Eddie vs a cannibal?  Flash vs the cannibal?  Flash vs Eddie?  Yes, please!  Here's hoping Bunn stays away from demons and lets Flash face the types of threats you'd expect a spider-family member to face.  Score: 8 out of 10.

Winter Soldier #17: So yeah, some stuff happens and this issue ended...  *sigh* Fine, I'll try a bit harder than that...  Nick Fury's disembodied head tells Bucky to go after the Electric Ghost, who went all Super-Joker and committed like 57 terrorist acts in one day.  Bucky ends up going to the Ghost's satellite(wait, what?!) and is defeated by her.  Oh yeah, and Bucky's elderly sidekick, Robards, defeats a mini-MODOK off panel because why not.  Yep, I'm done with this series.  This comic was as bad as anything I've read all year, and I'm not gonna waste my money anymore.  Bucky, you deserve so much better than this...  Hopefully this book gets cancelled and a better writer gets a new series down the road.  Score: 0 out of 10.  The first imperfect score in quite some time...

Ultimate X-Men #25: Jean heads to Utopia because Kitty is an arrogant bitch in Jean's mind and shouldn't be leading the mutant people.  Amen, Jean!!!  Besides that, Jimmy is plotting with Warpath from Mach 2's crew and Psylocke is plotting against Mach 2.  So basically, we have a 4 way power struggle brewing between Kitty, Mach 2, Jean and Psylocke...  Um, couldn't there be ONE male character trying to take leadership of Utopia?!  I mean, FOUR women are vying for the throne!?  Very, very weird...  Needless to say, I'm in Jean's corner, because Evil Jean is awesome.  Score: 4 1/2 out of 10.

Green Lantern #19: We pick things up with Hal Jordan who now inexplicably looks exactly like Geoff Johns for some stupid ass reason still in Black Hand's ring as he contemplates his next move. Sinestro's returned to Korugar to get help from his people to take on the First Lantern, but he shows up and feeds off of their emotions. When Sinestro manages to save his people, the First Lantern changes it so he didn't, cause he can change time or something. Anyway, The First Lantern destroys Korugar, leaving Sinestro floating through space and his planet's debris when he finds himself in front of his Yellow Lantern. Also, Hal decides to kill himself while in the ring so he can wield the Black Hand's Black Lantern powers, so he flings himself off a cliff. Well, I hated this. I don't know much about the lantern because I refuse to follow GL Corps, New Guardians and Red Lanterns to keep up with this storyline. The way he changed it so Sinestro lost after winning was a giant screw you to the readers, and it looks like Sinestro will be wielding fear again. Plus, Geoff Jordan annoys me... how do you just randomly change Hal to a pudgy faced Geoff Johns? Ugh. Score: 2/10 only because Geoff Jordan killed himself.

Green Arrow #19: After the odd cliffhanger of Ollie falling to his death in the last issue, we see Ollie survives (SHOCKING!!!) and engages Komodo in battle. Surprisingly, Oliver manages to get the drop on Komodo, but Oliver is suddenly shot with an arrow by Komodo's daughter. Komodo's unhappy about her showing up and Ollie uses the distraction of her and the police to get away. The issue ends with Oliver being picked up by his newest tech guy and pulling an arrow out of his leg before blacking out in pain. This issue fell flat for me, the first two issues started out promising but Komodo and his daughter and the mystery of Oliver's longtime dead dad is not keeping me interested. I'll probably give this series one more issue and if things don't turn around I'll end up dropping it. Score: 4/10

And that's it for this week's Best of the Rest post! I had a few books I wanted to include but I haven't gotten around to reading them yet, so ah well. Due to my busy schedule, X is going to post a scan or something tomorrow since the only two books I've read and planned on reviewing were better as blurbs than full reviews. Anyway, til next time, this is JT and his erstwhile lackey X, signing off!

Green Lantern #14

Hey X-Maniacs, JT here once again with another review, and today we're tackling the most recent issue of Green Lantern. After leaving off with Simon Baz, the newest Green Lantern being confronted, rather violently, by the Justice League, let's see how he deals with his first threat as a Green Lantern.

Green Lantern #14

Summary: We get things started with The Guardians discussing how soon their new third army will have taken over the entire universe, in three months time to be exact. The Guardians are called crazy by The mysterious First Lantern, who says they're doing away with souls, and souls are what make life wonderful, but the Guardians retort he only values soul's to torture them. The Lantern says it's funny, now that he's seen what monster's the Guardians have become, and when he escapes, they'll be first on his list. Back on Earth, in Dearborn, Michigan, Simon Baz is confronted by the Justice League, and quickly concedes, saying Superman could take him out by himself, but he may be able to take Batman, to which Flash replies "Yep, he's a Green Lantern." which was a great line. Simon explains that he's not a terrorist, and the ring just showed up, as he pleads his innocence. The League believe him, but ask him to remove his ring as a precaution, and Simon is fine with that. Batman reaches for his ring but a huge Sinestro construct shoots out of it yelling "DO NOT TOUCH MY RING!" which The League interpret as an attack. Simon tries to explain that he didn't do anything, but they pursue him so he runs, and manages to escape with his ring, showing he's definitely a quick learner. Baz then meets with his sister, Sira. who gives him the name and address of the person who owned the rigged van he stole. She also tells him she doesn't blame him for her husband getting in a wreck from racing with him and falling into a coma, and neither would her husband. In deep space, the trapped Guardians, or Good Guardians are still trapped when they hear someone outside of their locked room, and it's the Black Hand. He resurrects the Guardian that was killed by the evil Guardians (confusing right?) and demands answers. He discovers he's in a prison known as the Chamber of Shadows and there is no escape. From there we see inside of Black Hand's ring, as we see Sinestro and Hal Jordan, when they're approached by a cloaked man telling Sinestro he must follow him, as it's time to pay for his crime, as this issue comes to a close.
 
Thoughts: This was a pretty quick issue, and a fast read. I enjoyed the parts with Simon, him thinking he could take Batman because he was "normal" shows that he's a bit cocky and uninformed, but his construct and the way he got the league off of him shows how innovative he is, which is definitely a plus for a Lantern. The stuff with the Guardians was a bit boring, except I am curious to see the first Lantern, and see if he has any ties with any current Lanterns. Other than that, this was a fine issue, I'm excited to see what's next for Baz as well as finally getting some answers for Sinestro and Hal Jordan.

Score: 7.510 

Baz: I mean, you're Superman, even if I knew how to use this ring, you'd kick my ass by yourself. Maybe I could take Batman.
Flash: He's a Green Lantern all right!

Green Lantern #13

Hey guys and gals, JT here and I'm kicking off my reviews by checking in with the newest Green Lantern, Simon Baz. After escaping the authorities while being suspected of being a terrorist, with the help of his new Green Lantern ring, let's see how Simon copes with being a mebmer of the Green Lantern Corps.

Green Lantern #13

Summary: This issue starts with President Obama and Amanda Waller discussing Simon Baz, the suspected terrorist from Dearborn, Michigan's recent escape. The President tells Waller to notify the Justice League of Baz's escape, he doesn't know if he is a terrorist but he knows that a Green Lantern ring is capable of a lot more than a bomb in a van.From there we see Simon Baz, still unconscious after his escape, and the ring scanning his mind for memories, as we see Simon and his brother-in-law, Nazir, street racing when Simon wakes up. As Simon gets up, the ring gives him a costume from the neck down, and the ring shows a weird hybrid message from Sinestro and Hal Jordan. It's basically a message to their successor about not trusting the Guardians of Oa, and to stop the Guardians. As the message ends, Baz see's police officers driving near his position so he flies away with his ring, heading back to Dearborn. There, we see his sister, Sira, talking to their Dad, about how hard their lives have been since people suspect Simon is a terrorist but she knows he's not. She arrives at work and is basically given a leave of absence because no one there feels safe, because they think she may be a terrorist as well. As Sira cries in the alley, Simon approaches her. She's happy to see him but she's also obviously upset, as she questions him for stealing cars, and how he didn't notice one had a bomb in it. Simon says it was stupid (ya think?) but he was stealing cars no one would notice, so he could give money to Sira and her son. Sira says Simon is never around to talk to her, but he thinks she doesn't want him around, since him street racing with Nazir helped him end up in the ICU. Simon says he thinks the ring came to him to help him figure out who's bomb that really was, and he wants Sira to help him find out who, by using her sources at the Secretary of State to find out who the car he stole belonged to. She agrees to help Simon and tells him they'll meet at their old meeting place tonight, and to hide his face. Next we see the newest "children" of the Guardians, continuing to assimilate humans for the Third Army and they're now seeking Simon Baz, due to the Green Lantern energy reading on the planet. Simon arrives to his secret meeting place to meet Sira and see's a security camera, so he constructs a mask to go along with his Green Lantern costume. Before Simon can relax, he's suddenly knocked off the roof and is told that he's in trouble. It nturns out he is, as he's confronted by Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and The Flash a.k.a. The Justice League.


Thoughts: This issue was pretty good in my opinion. Simon is pretty likable to me, and his sister makes him even more likable because she seems like a sweet and nice character, so you relate to Simon as the regrettable big brother. I liked that we got to see the messages left by Sinestro and Hal, and how different the two are, even when saying similar things. The League popping up here surprised me, and I'm looking forward to seeing how they treat him after Hal's disappearance, Simon just showing up, and whole "terrorist" thing. The next issue should be interesting to say the least.

Score: 8.5/10 

Superman: You're in a lot of trouble, Mr. Baz. Like Justice League trouble.

Green Lantern #0

Hey everyone, JT here with the last review of this comic week, before New Comic Day and the whole new week of comics! Thanks to you guys we're closing this week with the only DC Comics review of the week, which just so happens to be the debut of the newest Green Lantern. So let's get to it!

Green Lantern #0

Summary: We start things off with an Islamic family living in Dearborn, Michigan. They watch as the events of 9/11 unfold, which of course leads to them being picked on and called terrorists throughout their lives, especially Simon Baz and his sister Sira. As an adult, we see Simon, having stolen a car, when he looks in the back and finds out there's an armed bomb in it. Simon calls his sister and tells her to tell his parents he didn't do this, he did steal the van but he didn't know about the bomb. He tells her to get some things out of his safety deposit box and that they belong to him and her son now. He apologizes about Nazir, but he's cut off when he's rear-ended by the police. Simon heads towards and abandoned factory and jumps out of the van as it hits the building and he bomb explodes. Simon is quickly arrested and a few days later we see he's basically suspected of being a terrorist. Simon says he didn't know about the bomb and he isn't a criminal, to which they mention that he stole the van and was arrested for illegal street racing. He was also in a crash, which killed his brother-in-law Nazir. Simon reiterates that he's a car thief, not a terrorist, but the hot heads in charge of National Security want a answers, so they get ready to electrocute them out of Simon. Simon is able to fight his way out until he's stuck staring down the barrel of a gun, when suddenly a Green Lantern ring flies through the wall and onto his finger. The ring tells Simon Baz "he has *ERROR* the ability to overcome great fear." Simon immediately flies through the roof after taking a surge of energy. We then see the main agent in charge of the interrogation notifying Amanda Waller that suspected terrorist Simon Baz has a Green Lantern ring. We then see Cyborg has intercepted that call and notifies Batman that something may be wrong with Green Lantern Hal Jordan, and asks if anyone has heard from him. Simon's story comes to a close as we see him lying unconscious in a field, as his ring says "Message waiting." The epilogue of the story shows us Sinestro and Hal Jordan trapped in Black Hand's ring as the issue ends.


Thoughts: First things first, I'm a Detroit boy, just like Geoff Johns, so I loved the references to streets and things that I know around here like the Detroit Free Press Newspaper, that was cool and definitely made things feel more realistic for me. That aside, this was a good story. I liked the introduction of Simon Baz, the story was interesting, I'm curious as to why he stole that van but we'll know soon enough hopefully. I'm wondering how the fact his ring said error will play a part in Baz's time as Green Lantern. All in all I enjoyed this story, it wasn't perfect but it set up a lot of questions, introduced Simon Baz as an interesting character, and it was new but enjoyable and easy to follow.

Score: 8/10 

Simon Baz: I'm a car thief, not a terrorist!

JT's Take: Green Lantern #11

Hey guys and gals, today's review on tap is Green Lantern, after the escape of Black Hand in the last issue, we can only imagine what the psychotic villain has planned, so let's get to it!

Green Lantern #11

Summary: We start this issue with Sinestro about to break free from the Indigo Tribe when he's released into Jordan's care. Jordan tells Sinestro that he's under Jordan's care and the Indigo Tribe has made it so Jordan's ring has now limitations that Sinestro put on and he can attack Sinestro if need be. Sinestro quick realizes Black hand is missing so they go looking for him and discover he killed himself, but his body is gone so he's back from the dead. From there we see Hand bring his family back to life and sit down to a Chinese food dinner cause he's weird like that. He tells his family's moving corpses that he plans on killing everyone then giving them all rings so they can all rise and kill more people and so on. Back with Sinestro and Jordan, they visit Sinestro's secret base on Korugar and open the Book of the Black to check it's prophecies. Upon opening the book we see the Guardians attacking Sinestro, Atrocitus leading The Manhunters into an attack, a Red Lantern Kyle Rayner, Guy Gardner behind bars, the new hooded Green Lantern, and someone wearing a White Lantern ring. As Sinestro and Hal come to, they find themselves sitting on the floor of Black Hand's dining room, who welcomes them to dinner.


Thoughts: This was a pretty average issue. On first glance I didn't think too much of the splash page, although I am wondering who's gonna wield the White Lantern ring... I'm assuming it'll be Hal for obvious reasons. Besides that, nothing in this issue really stood out for me, and I don't like that Hal can blast Sinestro because now I know I'll have to watch them fighting which is... ugh, I liked the other dynamic more of Hal having to listen to Sinestro.

Score: 7/10

Sinestro: Where's Black Hand, Jordan?

JT's Take: Green Lantern #10

Hey guys and gals, JT back once again with a new review, this time we're gonna check out Green Lantern. Now due to X's hatred of CHAIRMAN JOHNS (Dun dun dunnnnn!!!) there hasn't been any reviews of what I think are two of the best books currently coming out of the DC Reboot that aren't Batman, Green Lantern and Aquaman. So, consider that over, X still has beef with Johns but I do not, so I plan on reviewing Green Lantern and Aquaman from this point on. So, I know present to you, the first issue of Green Lantern written by Geoff Johns reviewed here since February 2011, Green Lantern #10!

Green Lantern #10

Quick Rundown: Just a quick catch-up for people that haven't been reading Green Lantern since the reboot. Following War of the Green Lanterns, Hal Jordan was stripped of his ring and title and they were awarded to Sinestro, who had helped the Green Lanterns become victorious. Hal moped for a while and his life sucked until he finally manned up and things started to look up for him, until he was recruited by force by Sinestro to help him take back Sinestro's home planet of Korugar from the Sinestro Corps. After defeating the Sinestro Corps, Sinestro seeks Lyssa Drak and discovers the plans of the Guardians third army to get rid of the Green Lantern Corps. Sinestro and Hal search for answers until they are confronted by the Indigo Tribe who make Sinestro join them as punishment. We then learn that the Indigo Tribe are a group of murderers and villains who were brought together by none other than Abin-Sur and a being by the name of Natromo, who create the Indigo Lantern and give compassion rings to the world's worst killers. This was done because Abin knew one day the Guardians would turn on the Corps and they would need help. The team was led by Abin-Sur's worst enemy, the woman who killed his daughter, Iroque, who would become Indigo-1. Upon finding out from Hal Jordan that Abin-Sur was dead, Natromo destroyed the Indigo battery, which not only freed Sinestro but also the murderers of the Indigo Tribe, and even our old friend Black Hand. There, now you're all caught up.


Summary: This issue starts with Hal grabbing Sinestro and running from the former Indigo Tribe, explaining why the Indigo Tribe are after them. We also see William Hurt, The Black Hand, wondering where he is, where his black ring is, and why he has on a Indigo ring, which he promptly throws off. (Keep in mind he's pretty much been out of it since Blackest Night, and now he finally has consciousness.) Sinestro decides he's going to stay and fight the Tribe but Hal forcibly takes him since Sinestro's ring is all-but dead and Hal's is running on fumes. While escaping they run into Natromo and try to convince him to restart the Battery, but he believes with Abin-Sur dead all hope is lost. After being persuaded by Hal, he agrees to try, and Sinestro goes to buy them some time by fighting the Indigo Tribe, that's right, Sinestro engaged in fisticuffs everyone! Back with Hal and Natromo, they try to reconstruct the battery but can't without any of the Indigo light, which is long gone by now. Surprisingly, they are approached by Iroque, the former Indigo-1 who says they must repair the battery. She says while she wore the ring it showed her how much she hurt Abin-Sur by killing his daughter, and while wearing the ring she felt sadness. The compassion she feels while recounting this causes her ring to spark, which is all Natromo needs to rebuild the battery, which brings the Indigo Tribe back online. All except The Black Hand, his ring seeks him and Black Hand continues to run from it and jumps from a ledge, falling to the rocks below which instantly kills him. The ring scans the bloody body of a now deceased Black Hand and flies off to find a replacement in the area. (Wonder who that will be...) Back with Hal, we see that Sinestro is back online too, and Hal has to ask the Indigo Corps to release him. Indigo-1 says she will release him if Hal believes he will find redemption without the Indigo Ring. She then asks Hal if he thinks Sinestro can become a hero again... Hal thinks and says he wants to believe he can. From there we cut back to the dead body of The Black Hand, as his body spits out a Black Lantern ring that flies out of his mouth and onto his hand, telling him to RISE. The issue closes as a Black Lantern Black Hand says he wants to go home.



Thoughts: See, it's issues like this that I still have faith in Geoff Johns after that Brightest Day debacle. I loved the reveal of the Indigo Tribe consisting of villains a few issues ago but the fact the rings actually work and helped changed Iroque for the better is a very interesting thing. I'm also wondering who that Indigo ring will go to, hopefully someone we know already because that will be interesting to say the least. Sinestro was awesome as usual here and I love seeing him and Hal play off of each other, with Sinestro clearly wanting to be more like Hal, even if he won't admit it. Add that in with the way Black Hand was written here, clearly showing that everything between Blackest Night and now to him was the equivalent of blinking was an awesome idea. I was wondering why he killed himself as opposed to being lobotomized by that ring but him having a trick up his sleeve is great, plus I can't say I mind having a Black Lantern ring or two around.


Score:  8.5/10

Sinestro: I'll hold them off.

Hal: WITH A POWERLESS RING?!

Sinestro: *whispers* It's what you would do.

Green Lantern #74 (June 1996)

With my new comic pile empty until Wednesday, I am now allowed to delve into my vast back issue collection and bring you guys a Retro-Review! Huzzah! Tonight's Retro-Review will be a random Kyle Rayner Green Lantern issue. Why? Why not!

Green Lantern #74:

What Happened: Donna Troy comes to Gateway City hoping to find Wonder Woman, but finds her ex-boyfriend, Green Lantern(the great Kyle Rayner) instead. Donna explains that several planets had been destroyed and many of her fellow Darkstars(think a lousier version of the Green Lantern Corps) had been murdered by an unknown force. Donna continues, telling Kyle that the Darkstars(somehow...) knew Rann was next in line for the mystery attackers, at which time she prepares to leave since she couldn't delay heading to Rann any longer. Kyle offers to assist Donna, because even though they broke up(over something completely idiotic if memory serves me correctly), he's not about to let her go off to face some malevolent galactic force alone. Meanwhile, John Stewart(yep, he was a Darkstar too!) and about a dozen Darkstars reach Rann and are met by Adam Strange to discuss strategy against the upcoming threat. Kyle and Donna fly through space together and end up admitting that they still had feelings for each other, but are attacked by a hostile alien ship before they can act upon said feelings. At the same time, the majority of the hostile alien ships teleport directly to Rann and launch their attack. It turns out the leader of the aliens is Grayven, who was destroying the planets to show his father(Darkseid) that he was a worthy successor to him. Grayven's forces annihilate the Rann/Darkstar defenses and Grayven himself attacks John. Kyle and Donna on the other hand have managed to destroy the alien ship in space and rush to Rann realizing that the foul aliens must have already attacked the planet. Upon arriving on Rann, Donna and Kyle are met by destruction and John Stewart's lifeless body being held high by Grayven.

The Good: This was a good, fast-paced story. It was nice to see Kyle actually doing something in space, seeing as that he spent practically all of his early GL career on Earth. This issue managed to seamlessly work in the Kyle/Donna relationship troubles without making it feel tacked on. Grayven always seemed like somebody who should have been a big deal.

The Bad: Donna landing in Gateway City and discovering Kyle but not Wonder Woman was a bit too coincidental for my tastes. We never did learn how the Darkstars knew Grayven's forces were heading to Rann... Kyle and Donna destroying one of Grayven's ships while the Darkstars and the defenses of Rann are routed seemed kind of out of whack. The cover of this issue asks “Who will die?” while showing pictures of Donna, Kyle and John. None of them died...

The Verdict: As usual, I enjoyed an issue of this series. Ron Marz did a fantastic job building up Kyle and making him into my favorite Green Lantern. This era in particular was fun, as Kyle had stepped out of Hal Jordan's shadow(at least to everybody not named Geoff Johns or Dan Didio) and was trying to learn what kind of hero he should be. Sure there were some parts of the story that really stretched things for me, but overall it was a good, fast read that advanced the main story(the stuff with Grayven), as well as the back story(Kyle and Donna's relationship troubles.). I'm glad I gave this one a reread.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.Spoiler alert from 15 years ago! Grayven's daddy was Darkseid!!

A word to the wise...

Hey there X-Maniacs. X here with some kind of crappy news. Besides trying to parlay this college diploma I have into a job(really!), some substantial family troubles have sprouted up that may have me being a bit less active around here... I'll still try to post something at LEAST once every couple of days, but if I miss a few reviews or my posts seem more brisk than usual, you'll know why. If by chance I can't post anything for an extended amount of time I may have to resort to some guest reviews. I've already checked with a certain fellow blogger who said he'd be willing to pitch in in a pinch, so at least there's that to look forward to. But who knows, maybe things will calm down in my life a bit and by this weekend everything will be back to normal... Damned life getting in the way of my blogging! Anyway, just so this post wasn't a total waste for you guys, here's a random post. I should have an abbreviated New Comic Day post up tomorrow(because come hell or high water I WILL be getting my comics!), and hopefully some sort of reviews. That's gonna do it for me for now, until next time, X out.Superman must be a horrible gossip! “By the way, do you guys remember my clone, Superboy? Well listen to this...”

Movie Goers to Geoff Johns: Drop Dead!

So the Green Lantern movie debuted at around $52.7 million which is about $13 million less than Thor. That was also a lower opening weekend than X-Men: First Class... With a budget of around $200-$300 million, that's not exactly the news DC was looking for I'm sure... To that news I simply say this... HA!!! Yep, it sure is a good thing DC is obsessed with pushing old Silver Age characters at the expense of their younger, newer Modern Age characters... Those old characters SURE are where the money is! I'd say maybe DC would learn from this, but let's face it, as long as Chairman Johns is DC's golden boy, they'll continue to be mired in the past... As well as trail behind Marvel in nearly every way...

Brightest Day #20 and Green Lantern #62.

Well, I've put it off for over a week now. I think it's high time I finally got this over with. Yes X-Maniacs, it's time for... *shudder* my Brightest Day review... As most of you know, I hate everything about Brightest Day. Everything! But although I hate Brightest Day, I do enjoy doing reviews for it... It's always fun to tear something you can't stand to pieces and my Brightest Day reviews have become cathartic to me. Go figure. Besides the Brightest Day review, I'm also going to review the most recent issue of Green Lantern, or as it's better known as; Chairman Johns' love letter to... well himself. Since I now passionately hate everything written by our beloved Chairman, I'll be scoring BOTH of these comics using Brightest Day Rules. For the uninitiated, When I score something using Brightest Day Rules I figure whatever I'll be reading will be the WORST thing I have EVER read, and as such start the comic out at a 0. If things I enjoy happen(say Saint Barry Allen getting beheaded), I add points to the score. If bad/dumb/nonsensical things happen(like Aquaman crying over his lopped off hand), I deduct points. Makes sense to me! One more thing, if you're a DC fanboy, a fan of Chairman Johns or Geoff Johns himself, you should stop reading now. Seriously, you won't like this review! Then again, if you ARE Chairman Johns keep reading... Okay, enough with the intro, let's commence the mental torture!!!

Brightest Day #20(of ∞):

Summary: It's an all-Aquaman BONANZA!!! Aqualad prevents Black Manta from killing Sad Aquaman, so Manta decides to kill Aqualad for his transgression. Unfortunately for Manta(but fortunately for DC's animation department), Mera and Aquagirl... um, 3? 4? 8? Oh I don't know... Let's just say the current Aquagirl arrive on the scene to deal with Manta and his EVIL Atlantian allies. Aqualad cauterizes Sad Aquaman's boo-boo and Sad Aquaman takes the battle to the EVIL Atlantians. Mera realizes that since there were only 4 good guys and 100 bad guys they PROBABLY wouldn't be able to win the battle(now that's good, logical thinking!), so she creates a giant wave to drag the EVIL Atlantians back into the ocean. The Aqua-family follows suit and somehow Aqualad opens a portal back to the Bermuda Triangle and sends the EVIL Atlantians, as well as that cad Black Manta back to their prison. The Aquas are happy at this sudden, and completely out of the blue turn of events and celebrate. Or at least they do until Aliveman shows up and That Damned White Ring kills Sad Aquaman. Kills him good!

Thoughts: Okay, what do we have here... First off, +3 for DC actually dedicating the ENTIRE issue to one story! I don't know about anyone else, but I'd rather read one linear story as opposed to 31 different stories in the same comic. +2 for Manta trying to kill Aqualad, because that's what a good arch-enemy SHOULD do! -1 for the all too obvious eventual Aqualad/Aquagirl relationship... If you wanted a Aqualad/Aquagirl relationship, DC, then you shouldn't have killed off the Garth and Tula!!! -1 for Black Manta claiming he “gutted” Aquababy... That's not even CLOSE to the truth! -2 for Sad Aquaman crying AGAIN! What the hell is up with him?!? +3 for Sad Aquaman sending a horde of dead sea life after the EVIL Atlantians, because let's face it, NOBODY wants to be eaten by a dead shark. +1 for Sad Aquaman kissing Mera, because that's another pic for my other blog! And -1 for Sad Aquaman not getting a chance to cry at the end of when That Damned White Ring killed him... I mean crying is his gimmick now! How does he die and not get to unleash a torrent of waterworks?! So after some addition and subtraction we get a final score of...

Score: 4 out of 10. Hey, that's a HUGE improvement over last issue's -356! Good job!Look! He's crying again!!!


Green Lantern #62: It's written by our Lord and Savior, Chairman Johns, so it MUST be good!!!

Summary: Krona attacks Hal Jordan The Great or as he's better known as, “He Who Has Never Done Anything Wrong Because He Was Possessed, Dammit!!!” to start this train wreck out. During Hal The Great and Krona's battle we get some snippets of who Krona is and what his major malfunction is. Eventually Krona gets the better of Hal The Great, but not before Hal The Great gets a good shot in on Krona because he's, you know, Great. The other members of the Lite-Brite Brigade(ROLL CALL!!! Saint Walker! Larfleeze! Indigo-1! Atrocitus!) attack Krona but get their asses handed to them, which makes sense since Krona controls the entities that power the members of the Lite-Brite Brigade... Gee, maybe they should have realized that... Anyway, Krona manages to steal the Rage entity away from Atrocitus, which gives him the full collection of Lite-Brite entities. Krona blasts the Lite-Briters into unconsciousness and leaves, at which time we get a glimpse into the future(um, why?) where it appears one of the Green Lanterns of the Earth sector dies... Grr... Anyway, Hal wakes up, blows off Saint Barry, Batman and Superman and decides to leave Earth with his Lite-Brite Brigade buddies to hunt down Krona and... um, let's say give Krona a severe scolding when they find him.

Thoughts: God help me I HATE this series! I mean hate it with every fiber of my being! If I were to run out of toilet paper THIS would be the first thing I bring into the bathroom with me! Thankfully I only have one or two more issues of this garbage left on my subscription before I can turn my back on this series forever. Forever!!! Well, let's get the scoring done so I can burn this comic book... Right off the bat a -1 because Hal Jordan was in this comic. Continuing along those lines we'll give a -25 because of Saint Barry was here. I will give a +5 for Hal telling Saint Barry not to run because it was so funny... I mean Hal, I don't know if you realize this, but running(and screwing over Wally West) is all Saint Barry can do! -2 for Hal actually injuring Krona because it made NO SENSE! How the hell can you harm a Guardian of the Universe with a GL ring?! Not only that, but how can you harm Krona with willpower when he controls the Ion entity?!? Dumb. -5 for Larfleeze appearing, but a +2 for Hector Hammond tearing into the minds of Hal and the Lite-Brite Brigade, just because it caused Hal pain. +10 for Krona knocking all of the useless members of the Lite-Brite Brigade out. -10 for Larfleeze talking, but +20 for Batman calling Hal out for being an asshole. And finally, -50 for Hal stating the he was possessed by Parallax... No Chairman Johns, Hal WASN'T possessed by Parallax. He went insane and became a villain NAMED Parallax. Retcon it all you want, I'll NEVER accept it. Jesus, what an ass Geoff Johns must be to crap all over the work of other writers just to push his(and Dan Didio's) personal favorite characters at the expense of everything that had been done. I hope like HELL that 20 years from now some writer just retcons EVERYTHING Johns has done these past 10 years because that would be SO fitting. Let's get the math work done so I can end this post and read a comic that is actually good...

Score: -56 out of 10. The second lowest score I've ever given a comic book. And you know what? It sure as hell deserved it.I had to pick some page from this comic, I might as well pick this one.

Quick Hits: 1/16/11

Well, I've decided to do a new type of post with an old name... Over two years ago, when I was still trying to find my grove for on this blog, I did ONE Quick Hits post where I basically babbled about a whole mess of things... It was a bad post with little to no redeeming qualities. I mean I literally spent a paragraph talking about the weather. On a COMIC BOOK blog! It was a mess, and I never did it again... But the Quick Hits name itself actually fits something I want to do with this post, so I'm going to resurrect it. Don't worry though, I won't go off and start talking about the weather. You have my word on that.

So what IS this post all about then? Last night, I realized that my new comics pile was really starting to build up. Between the books I buy at the comic book store, and the subscription books that come in the mail, I had a pile of new comics that was currently at about 25 issues and climbing. So what to do... Well, I could have just read those comics and skipped putting reviews up, but I'd hate to do that. Posting reviews on this blog has gone from an annoying nightly practice to what could probably be described as an obsession. So since I feel I HAVE to post reviews/scores, I needed to find a way to post reviews quickly... Thus this post. Instead of doing long-winded posts that hit on everything, or Best of the Rest style reviews that hit on ALMOST everything, for this post I'm simply going to throw out a summery, some quick thoughts and my score. And of course a scan from the comic, because I know how you guys love your pictures! So last night I read 9(!)new books that I didn't expect much from(unsurprisingly they were all DC books)and will see how this format works. That's about the gist of it, let's see how it works in practice. As always, any recommendations or comments on how to improve this particular post since it's brand spanking new will be appreciated. Now let's get into it.

JSA All-Stars #14:

Summary: Arthur Pemberton has decided to work with some evil magic beings in order to heal his comatose daughter. Naturally this brings him into conflict with the JSA All-Stars, but Pemberton manages to zap them away with a magic wand to parts unknown.

Thoughts: This issue was much better than I would have expected it to be. The Pemberton story seems to finally be moving to the forefront, while other characters like Citizen Steel are getting more face time. No complaints here.

Score: 7 out of 10.


Batman Annual #28:

Summary: Three stories here. The first one dealt with the two Batmen(Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson)taking care of the terrorist attacks plaguing Paris and getting the Batman Inc. organization okayed in France. Bruce decides to make Nightrunner the Batman of France, which is a bit weird considering he is an Algerian living in France, but C'est la vie I guess. The second story was the best of the bunch, and dealt with Leslie Thompkins, while the last one was a spotlight on Nightrunner.

Thoughts: Didn't like the first or third story, but I did enjoy the middle one, so this issue was a mixed bag. I can kind of get what Bruce was doing by making an Algerian the Parisian Batman, but to then hide the guy's face under a full mask didn't make any sense. If you're trying to promote racial harmony, why not let Nightrunner wear a regular Batman mask that reveals some of his facial features?

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.


Freedom Fighters #5:

Summary: The Freedom Fighters basically get trounced by the escaped prisoners of Enclave A, with Firebrand suffering what could be a broken spine. The prisoners toss the FFers into a pit where the more uncontrollable experiments at the prison were living. The prisoners, led by the Bullet King, try to force the warden to give them Sherman's Wraith, a mystical sword, but the warden commits suicide, which starts a countdown that will destroy the prison.

Thoughts: This was actually my favorite issue of Freedom Fighters to date! And the weird thing was that the FFer's didn't really have much of a role, while the escaped prisoners stole the show. The warden was a racist, sexist ass, while the prisoners seemed to be written pretty sympathetically, as they were subject to all sorts of evil experiments, so yeah, this was an odd one.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.


Booster Gold #40:

Summary: Some crazy old Nazi manages to hack into Rip Hunter's computer system and gets some insight into the character of early Booster Gold, although Rip's computers were able to fight off the computer attack before any of Booster's recent exploits were discovered. Booster returns to Rip's lab and finds out what happened and yells at Rip, who turns around and tells Booster he was under arrest for stealing all of those devices from the 25th century before he traveled back in time.

Thoughts: This was an interesting issue. It was a bit too heavy on Booster's history, which by this point I could probably recite forwards and backwards. The rest of the comic, which had Booster battling some lame villain and the swerve at the end was really good, and has me looking forward to the next issue.

Score: 7 out of 10.


Justice Society of America #46:

Summary: While the JSA is racing around Monument Point trying to rebuild the destroyed town, Dr. Chaos arrives and begins to create, well chaos. By the end of this issue, he manages to kill the mayor of the town(who was under JSA protection)as well as apparently killing Thunder.

Thoughts: This issue was WAY better than the last two, so that's good. I liked that crazy Obsidian arrived at the town to kill Scythe, who was responsible for paralyzing his father, Alan Scott. Jay Garrick seems to be getting really beaten down in this story so far, so I'm looking forward to watching him get built back up again.

Score: 6 out of 10.


Green Lantern #60:

Summary: Hal fights a Parallax possessed Barry Allen and I can honestly say I don't care. In the end, that weird little figure appears, takes back Parallax as well as a few other entities and reveals himself as Krona. Yawn.

Thoughts: You know, I can't stand this comic, or the way Chairman Johns has altered the history of the DCU anymore. Parallax ISN'T a giant bug, it's the name Hal Jordan took when he was driven insane at the loss of Coast City. Plain and simple. Hal went crazy. Not because of a fear entity, but because he lost everything he cared about. Saying anything else is bullshit. Once my subscription for this series is up, I'll be dropping this title, as well as any other comic Chairman Johns writes, because quite frankly, it's not worth getting pissed off about anymore.

Score: 3 out of 10.


Green Lantern #61:

Summary: This issue is all about Atrocitus and his search for the rage entity. Atrocitus manages to find the entity, and comes into conflict with the Spectre, who doesn't want the rage entity on Earth. As usual, the Spectre gets beaten up, this time by the rage entity, because he gets beat up by EVERYBODY. Atrocitus then captures the entity in his Red Lantern, lectures the Spectre(?!?!?)and leaves.

Thoughts: Good lord, I can't wait for my Green Lantern subscription to be up. I hate this series and every single character in it. Atrocitus lectured the Spectre... Just think about that for a while.

Score: 2 out of 10.


Gotham City Sirens #17:

Summary: Talia Al Ghul, Zatanna, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy manage to rescue Catwoman from Senpai(a crony of the Sensei), who had kidnapped Catwoman in order to discover the secret identity of Batman. Luckily the women chase Senpai away before he discovers the secret, but Talia convinces Zatanna that the only way Bruce's secret identity would be safe was if Zatanna wiped the knowledge from Catwoman's mind.

Thoughts: This was a VERY strong story, one I wish I would have read sooner. The ending was especially great, with Talia convincing Zatanna that Catwoman HAD to be mindwiped, due to how easy it was for villains to kidnap Catwoman. Great stuff, with even better stuff to come next issue.

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.


Gotham City Sirens #18:

Summary: After much soul-searching, Zatanna decides to mindwipe Catwoman at the behest of Talia Al Ghul. Zatanna teleports Ivy and Harley Quinn away from Catwoman, enters her home and begins the process, while Talia does what she can to keep Ivy and Harley from returning to help CW. As Zatanna goes through CW's memories, she comes across one where Talia mentions to Catwoman that they both loved Bruce Wayne, which leads Zatanna to finally realize that Talia had been using her to eliminate any romantic competition for Bruce's heart. This issue ends with Zatanna confronting Talia over her deception.

Thoughts: Loved this issue. From Zatanna's hesitation to mindwipe CW, to her eventual reluctant decision to do it, to realizing that she had been duped by the ultra intelligent Talia. That's why I like Talia so much. Much like her father, you can never be sure just what her game is until it's too late.

Score: 9 out of 10.

Retro-Review: Green Lantern/Silver Surfer: Unholy Alliances #1

Review: This issue begins with the Silver Surfer coming across a destroyed planet and discovering Cyborg Superman standing in the rubble. Cyborg Supes doesn't have the slightest idea why he's in the Marvel Universe, but attacks the Surfer nonetheless. While that's going on, Kyle Rayner hears some explosions from his apartment and heads outside to check it out(as Green Lantern, naturally)and discovers Terrax tearing up a park. Kyle asks Terrax who he was and what he was up to, and Terrax explains that he was from another dimension and was told that if he defeated Kyle he'd be able to take over the DCU. Back to the Marvel U, the Surfer's battle with Cyborg Supes is interrupted by the arrival of Hal Jordan(this was back when he was Parallax), who had headed to the Marvel U to kill Cyborg Supes in retribution for the destruction of Coast City. The Surfer intervenes, since he was unsure as to what was going on, which gives Cyborg Supes the chance to escape. That naturally angers Hal, but he cools off after the Surfer tells Hal he could locate Cyborg Supes wherever he goes. The two talk, and they realize that they have a lot in common, with Hal trying to do whatever he could to bring back Coast City, while the Surfer was haunted by all of the worlds he allowed to be destroyed while he was working for Galactus. Ultimately Hal convinces the Surfer that he could return all of those dead planets to life(as well as fix Coast City)if they combined powers. After a moment of thought, the Surfer agrees to add his Power Cosmic to Hal's Parallax powers. Back in the DCU, Terrax is about to kill Kyle, when Kyle is saved by the timely arrival of Thanos(!?!). Thanos sends Terrax back to the Marvel U with his time/space traveling chair and introduces himself to Kyle, stating that Hal was up to no good and was about to fracture all of reality with his newfound powers. Kyle is dubious, since Thanos doesn't seem very trustworthy, but agrees to go with him, since Thanos says he had concocted a weapon that would counteract Hal. However, Thanos's weapon needed Kyle's GL abilities to power it. With his new powers Hal fixes the world Cyborg Supes destroyed, much to the Surfer's amazement before deciding he'd head back to the DCU to resurrect Coast City. Back in the DCU, Thanos brings Kyle to the former location of Oa(it was destroyed in a battle between Kyle and Hal)where Kyle discovers there was a rift in space that was serving as a gateway to the Marvel Universe. Upon seeing this sight, Kyle agrees to power Thanos's machine before the rift got any worse. Kyle loads his GL powers into the machine, leading to a massive power surge, one so large that Hal and the Surfer notice it from the Marvel U and head towards the source. Unfortunately for Kyle, Thanos betrays him, steals all of the power left from where Oa once stood, and announces that he was going to destroy all of reality in an effort to be reunited with the love of his life, Death. Thanos goes to kill Kyle, but by this point, Hal and the Surfer arrive. Sensing the powers of Oa inside of Thanos, Hal goes after him, leaving the Surfer to attack Kyle, who he thought was in cahoots with Thanos. Hal and Thanos talk, and learn that they were working towards very different goals, so Hal, with the powers of Parallax and the Power Cosmic, takes on Thanos, who was being fueled by Oa itself. The Surfer and Kyle also battle for a bit, until Kyle is able to convince the Surfer he was duped by Thanos, and didn't share Thanos's insane dreams. While Hal creates worlds, and Thanos destroys them, the Surfer and Kyle come up with a last ditch plan to have Kyle's GL ring absorb ALL of the powers from both Thanos and Hal, which he surprisingly is able to do. However, the power is WAAAAY too much for a normal man to hold, so the Surfer, with his cosmic infused body, offers to take in all of the power. Kyle sends it to the Surfer, who after some difficulty is able to contain and control all of the energies. The Surfer puts the powers back where they belong, which closes the rift in space, sending the Surfer and Thanos back to the Marvel side, and ending this issue.

Thoughts: Oooo... I REALLY enjoyed this one! It had three VERY important things going for it. Kyle Rayner as the lone Green Lantern, Hal Jordan as Parallax(the way it SHOULD be)and Thanos as... well, Thanos! I especially enjoyed the interaction between the Surfer and Hal, since they really DID seem to have the best interest of the universe in mind. Who can fault them for wanting to return billions back to life? As for Thanos and Kyle, I liked Thanos being the sneaky, manipulative bastard, to Kyle's still kind of novice hero. Thanos sent Terrax after Kyle with the sole intention to save Kyle and gain his confidence, which actually worked. Thanos played his role as hero perfectly, and his reveal that he was actually the villain, and that he wanted to destroy all life in the universe for his Lady Death, was executed to perfection. Usually when you have a two company crossover like this, it ends poorly, because the story is so shoddy. But Ron Marz(who had extensive writing runs on Green Lantern and Silver Surfer)put together a totally believable story that used all of the characters involved perfectly. Hal had a one track mind. The Surfer was his regular pensive, thoughtful self. Kyle doubted himself throughout and almost helped Thanos destroy the universe as a result before redeeming himself. And Thanos was his regular awesome self. This might just be the best Marvel/DC x-over comic I've read... So far.

Score: 9 1/2 out of 10.Thanos destroying Coast City while Hal looks on in horror is one of the best things I've seen in a while!

Origins and Omens flashback, part 1.

Hey again all, X here with what I think should be a fun little post. You see, last night I posted that I had been reordering my comic books to take a break from my various school related responsibilities. As I was going through my DC books, I came across a bunch of those “Origins and Omens” stories from early 2009 that ran right before Blackest Night began. What was “Origins and Omens” you ask? Basically it was Scar(of Blackest Night fame)looking into the future via the Book of Black. So I figured, why not post the O&O pages from the books I have and see just how accurate those “predictions” were... It turns out that I have 17 scans, so I'll post 9 today and 8 tomorrow. I'll be doing this in alphabetical order, so we'll have A-J today. Alright, let's get this show on the road.


First up would be Action Comic #874...-Guardian did run into that group of Legionaries
-He did team up with Nightwing and Flamebird
-And the Science Police building did explode.
-I don't recall his “daughter” dying
-Nor do I remember him flying on the wing of a plane, although I don't think anybody could blame me for forgetting about that...


Next is Adventure Comics #0-Well that's an easy one... Superboy did indeed come back to life!


Birds of Prey #127-That really bloody scene was from the abysmal Oracle/Battle for the Cowl mini
-Babs did break away from the Birds/Black Canary temporarily
-I don't recall Babs having one final battle with that awesome possessed Calculator
-And the Batgirl costume thing... Maybe that alludes to Steph becoming Batgirl?


Booster Gold #17-Booster did battle with/against the Teen Titans from the past
-But to my knowledge, Booster still hasn't learned the identity of the Black Beetle...


Green Arrow & Black Canary #17-Hey hey, I think every single thing from those scenes happened! Although to be honest, most of the stories were awful, so yeah...


Green Lantern #38-John Stewart had to deal with his dead ex during Blackest Night
-Hal and Sinestro DID have to team-up together(pretty much every other issue it seems)
-Black Hand also swore fealty to the Black Lanterns/Scar.
-I don't recall Alan Scott being called in front of the Guardians, which is pretty funny since Geoff Johns WROTE this issue, meaning you'd think it definitely would have happened!


Green Lantern Corps #33-Jade did indeed come back to life
-Sodam Yat did battle Mongul on Daxam
-I thought those children who attacked the GLC were Black Lanterns, not Sinestro Corps members, although I suspect I'm forgetting a storyline... Possibly with Kryb...
-I also don't recall the scene with Kilowog and Ganthet, although it easily could have happened somewhere along the line


Justice League of America #30-That Starbreaker guy did attack
-And Icon did help them during the Starbreaker battle.
-As for the half naked guy... No idea!


Justice Society of America #24-Obsidian did turn into a shadow egg
-Magog did leave the team
-The team did split in half
-And Mr. Terrific was stabbed by Kid Karnevil
-I don't recall Alan fighting the guy with the roots
-Nor do I recall the other battle with that giant thing with the sword


So there we go, that takes care of the first 9 scans. Tomorrow I'll post the rest, which include Nightwing, Robin and Superman. Until then, X out.

The Best of the Rest! December 1st edition.

Well the weather outside is starting to get frightful, but rest assured, my reviews are still delightful... Man, was that corny as hell or what? Anyway, it's time for another installment of the most popular blog feature in the great country of Japan, the Best of the Rest! And who am I you ask? Men call me X! Trust me, that'll make way more sense by the end of this post... Probably. I'll be knocking off 5 reviews in this post, three DCs and two Marvels. On top of that, the last “review” is probably the most outrageously offensive thing I have ever written... So on that dubious note, let's get this show on the road.

Aquaman is... I've run out of fish jokes...
I am rapidly racing towards the end of the 1990's Aquaman series(I have about 20 issues to go)and I've got to say, once Peter David jumped ship(hey, there's a water reference!)this comic went down like the Titanic(I did it again!!). Nothing against Erik Larsen, but he is NO Peter David. Sure, PAD did some weird things during his nearly 50 issue Aquaman run(like the bizarre alien invasion storyline), but I could always find a character or two that I'd connect with, be it Tempest, Dolphin, Vulko, or Aquaman's awesome son, Koryak. Once PAD left, we lose Koryak, gain Mera(yawn)and Aquaman decides to wear a fake hand and go with his retro, 1960's look. Ugh. I'm definitely looking forward to being done with this series, hopefully as soon as next week.

Titans Together or something like that...
So with the impending end of the Aquaman series, I've decided that the next full run of comics that I'll tackle will be the Titans series from the late 90's. I've been warned to stay away from this series from some of my fellow bloggers, but my sister told me to give the series a shot, since it was a quick read. So once I'm done with Aquaman, I'll be working my way through the Titans. For better or worse...

Okay, enough gibber-jabber, let's get this show on the road! The first review on tap for tonight is Black Widow #8. Last issue Widow and the reporter she was trying to rescue were confronted on a train by the Crimson Dynamo and Fantasma. Widow outsmarts and electrocutes the Dynamo, but has a tougher time with Fantasma. Luckily for Widow, her foe from the first issue of this storyline, Fatale, steps in and knocks out Fantasma. Widow, Fatale and the reporter head to a hotel and Fatale explains that she had been betrayed by the people who hired her to take out Widow, so Widow decides to team-up with her. The reporter finally gives up the location of his source, who was the person trying to frame/kill Widow, and Widow and Fatale hunt the source down, discovering an empty room, which promptly explodes. The reporter figures Widow had died, but she later texts him and lets him know she survived, before she sends some of her spy friends to take the reporter back home. Annnd that pretty much closes that. I really didn't like the way this story ended at all. Basically nothing happened, except that the reporter no longer believed Widow had killed his father. Three issues and several continents for that?? Score: 4 out of 10.

Let's get to the DC books with a quick peek at Titans #29. Last issue Deathstroke decided to piss me off by freeing the Mad Hatter from Arkham, and is in the process of freeing a second inmate, Allegra Garcia. Unfortunately for Deathstroke, Batman is standing in between him and his escape. Naturally that leads to an extended fight between the two long time foes. Meanwhile, Deathstroke's team is battling a who's who of Gotham City nutjobs who escaped from their cells during Deathstroke's initial raid on Arkham. For some reason, all of the Arkham inmates seem to be packing their weapons(um, how?)making lots of trouble for the Titans. Deathstroke manages to get away from Bats by jeopardizing the lives of two Arkham guards who wandered into the fight, and with Bats distracted trying to save the guards, Deathstroke and Allegra make a break for it. This issue ends with Allegra tiring of Deathstroke and attacking him with some form of powers. This was actually a pretty good comic, with my only real complaint being the fact that all of the Arkham escapees had their weapons of choice with them. I mean, how the hell does THAT happen?! Scarecrow had a sack on his head and was blowing fear gas in people's faces, Zsasz had a knife, and Mr. Freeze had his frigging freeze gun! Now why would THAT be in Arkham with him?! Weird. Other than that, no real complaints here. The Batman/Deathstroke fight was well done, and as per my own sanity keeping exercise, I simply ignored everything Arsenal said and did. Score: 7 out of 10.

Sticking with DC, let's take a look at what used to be DC's premier super-team, the Justice League in Justice League of America #51. Batman, Supergirl, Donna Troy, Jade and Jesse Quick are trapped in the Hall of Justice with the Crime Syndicate and the immensely powerful Omega Man, who is SO powerful he speaks with an echo!!! Oooo, scary! Apparently the Omega Man is the being that has destroyed two other Earths, and wants to add the DCU to his resume. The Crime Syndicate try to avoid the Omega Man, while the JLA battle him to no avail. In the end, the Omega Man tries to fire a massive death beam into the air, but Jade uses her powers to halt the blast, creating an impregnable dome around all of Washington DC. Supergirl tries to take on the Omega Man, but using his ability to speak in echoes, he transforms her into EVIL Supergirl. How do I know she's EVIL Supergirl? Because she no longer has eyeballs and was wearing a black and silver costume. Meh, meh, and double meh. Supergirl “dying” and being reborn as EVIL Supergirl lacked any real impact since we all know she's not going to be staying that way since, you know, she has her own series! Now if Donna would have become EVIL Donna, maybe the impact would have been greater. Other then that, this issue STILL confused the hell out of me, and the Omega Man looked suspiciously like Onslaught. Whatever though, another lousy issue of a lousy series. Score: 4 out of 10.

Let's head back to Marvel and Secret Avengers #7 before I get to the main event of this post. This issue is STILL dealing with Shang-Chi, meaning that I was bored of it before I even got started... Shang gets captured by his father's ninja goons, but that's exactly what Steve Rogers wanted, since he had Ant-Man hiding in Shang's hair... Huh. Ant-Man springs Shang, and they return to Steve's base. Meanwhile, Valkyrie and the Price of Orphans(what kind of a codename is “The Prince of Orphans”?!)manage to capture a member of the Shadow Council and bring him into Steve for some fruitless interrogation. This issue ends with the leader of the Shadow Council, Director Thorndrake and Max Fury promising Shang-Chi's half dead father that they'd still capture Shang in order to complete the ritual that would return Papa Shang to life. How can they be so sure? Because they have some guy named John Steele working with them. This is another issue that had me saying, “meh” when I was done with it. I'm just not into Shang-Chi. Don't care about him, don't care about his stories, don't care about his father, I just don't care. I think this storyline wraps up next issue, and to that I say, the sooner the better! Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.

And now it's time for Green Lantern #59... I'm going to brutally honest here, I hated this comic book passionately, and as such, this is going to be more of a rant than a review. Not only that, but this rant turned out to be uncharacteristically profane, so if you get easily offended, you should definitely skip this review. So there, you've been warned. If you read on and get pissed, don't complain to me about it. This issue starts with the Indigo Lanterns arriving on Earth and putting some guy on their team. From there, the two objects of every one of Geoff Johns' wet dreams, Hal Jordan and Barry Allan talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk some more. Barry is upset that Hal is working with Sinestro and Atrocitus instead of him, and then the two talk some more, because what this issue needed was more of two characters who were dead years ago talking. On Oa, the Guardians and Salaak talk about Hal Jordan(because we needed MORE talking!!!)and discuss how he doesn't follow orders. Really? What a shocker! Wow, that's NEVER been mentioned before!!! That Geoff Johns is a comic book GENIUS!!! Eventually the Indigo Lanterns arrive at Hal's location and Hal proceeds to talk to them too. Hey, why the hell not? Hal complains about Black Hand being on the Indigo Lanterns, which gives Black Hand the opportunity to, you guessed it, talk! That little robed figure arrives on the scene riding Parallax, which makes no sense, but who really cares about this shit making sense anymore? Parallax then possessed Barry Allen and this issue thankfully ends. After I finished reading this comic, I put it down and simply said three words, “Fuck this shit.” That pretty much sums up my feelings towards this series. I guess I'm happy for Geoff Johns, who can jerk off to his favorite characters to his heart's desire, but me? Count me out of the Johns wank-fest. I'm done with this series. And more importantly, I'm done with anything written by Geoff “1959” Johns. I'm tired of his incessant pandering to the fans of DC's Silver Age, I'm sick of seeing the dead Green Lantern and the dead Flash getting all of the play in the DCU, basically I'm tired of Geoff Johns. Let all of the little DC fanboys drool all over the garbage he's regurgitating from 50 years ago, I'm done with it all. Score: 0 out of 10.

The Random Scan of the Week!Best line EVER!!!!

The Best of the Rest! DC Edition...

Welcome to another installment of the X-Files... Wait, scratch that, let's try that again... Welcome to another installment of the Best of the Rest! Yeah, that's better. Sometimes the classics work the best. Unless you work for DC, and then the classics are the ONLY thing that matter! And on that inauspicious note, let me inform you all that this is going to be an all DC BotR post, so expect lots of sarcasm, angry barbs thrown towards GEOFF “SILVER AGE!!!” Johns, and almost certainly low scores. Before going through that little bit of mental anguish, first some good news!

Fishing for compliments!
So during my first(and only...)X-Files post, I mentioned that I was going to begin reading the Aquaman series from the 1990's. As of the time of this writing, I've read the first 5 issues(as well as issue #0)of the series, and so far, so VERY good! Before I go any further, allow me to state in no uncertain terms that I've NEVER been a fan of Aquaman. To me he's always been, “That guy who talks to fish and gets beat up a lot”. But being a huge fan of Peter David, I figured I'd give this series a shot, and I'm glad that I did! As is a trademark of a PAD written comic, the focus isn't only on Aquaman, but is also on the strong supporting cast that includes Aqualad/Tempest(who's been stealing the show imo)and Dolphin. So far Aquaman has lost his hand, battled a supremely arrogant 90's Superboy, complete with those awful goggles SB used to wear, and fought Lobo(!). If I had to score these first couple of issues, I'd easily give them roughly a 9 or so. They're that good! So now you know what I'll be reading later on tonight!

Okay, the preliminaries are out of the way, let's get to the reviews. First off is Secret Six #27... This issue has the two different groups of Secret Six members, Spymaster's team, which is led by Bane, and Amanda Waller's team led by Scandal Savage. Spymaster has sent her Six to conquer some alien world(I think...), while Waller has sent hers to stop the other Six. Naturally this leads to a fight, and Scandal slashes Bane's throat by accident. With her father figure bleeding out, Scandal asks everybody to stop fighting(which they do)and some native healer walks over and heals Bane. Scandal then takes her Six and quits the battle. With the other Six out of the way, Bane takes his group to invade the castle of the king of this world, but little does he know Scandal's Six has made an alliance with the king... And that's about as well as I can do with this comic... It was absolutely horrendous! I can't believe that Gail Simone wrote this travesty, because I KNOW she's a way better writer than this! What didn't I like here you ask? How about everything with the exception of the art? The story made no sense, the characters almost universally annoyed me(I am SO sick and tired of Ragdoll by this point it's not even funny!)and I don't know anything about this world these different groups of Six's are invading/helping/hanging out in. Hell, I'm still foggy as to why Bane and Scandal split up the original Secret Six to begin with! Add all of that to the fact that the absolutely worthless Black Alice is in this series and yeah, there was nothing good going on here. I hate to say it, but I'm getting the feeling that I'll dropping this series by year's end. Score: 1 out of 10.

Well, we can only go up from that last review, right? Next I'll take a look at JSA All-Stars #12. This issue is a Cyclone-centric issue, which sucks for me since I can't stand Cyclone. It seems that Cyclone's powers are gone now, so she has left the All-Stars and gone to Harvard to attend some classes. Why Harvard? I don't know, I guess because she's really smart all of a sudden. So Cyclone attends classes, and also does some experiments on her blood in an attempt to figure out why her powers were gone. Naturally, she doesn't shut down the computer when she leaves the lab, because she's actually an idiot apparently, which leads to some fellow student taking a peek at her work. Cyclone heads back to her dorm room where she bumps into... *sigh* her doppleganger. This other Cyclone still has powers, but can't remember the past six weeks. The Cyclones decide to take a walk around town(sure, why not...), where they run into the student from earlier, who seems to have developed out of control Cyclone-esque powers. While the Cyclones are deciding how to handle this problem, a third Cyclone shows up, asking what she could do to help. Yeah, so I hate Cyclone, and this issue gives us THREE Cyclones! Sheesh. Couldn't we have spotlighted ANYBODY else on this team?! Hell, why not Tomcat, Citizen Steel, Chimera, Power Girl, Stargirl or ANYBODY else!? Ugh. The best thing about this story was the fact that it ends next issue, so I only have to suffer through one more Cyclone-centric issue... I hope! Score: 6 out of 10.

Hey, it's time to take an unwanted trip back to the early 1960's as I review GEOFF “SILVER AGE!!!” Johns' Green Lantern #58. This issue starts off with Sinestro and Atrocitus searching for the avatar of rage unsuccessfully. Carol Ferris informs Hal Jordan that she intends on staying on Zamaron and taking over as Queen of the Star Sapphires, which bugs Hal since he was still trying to get in her pants. Meanwhile, the avatar of hope possesses some girl who was kidnapped by a pervert and runs around saying “All will be well”. Larfleeze tries to kill the guy from last issue that was possessed by the Predator, but is stopped by the recently arrived Hal Jordan. Hal and Larfleeze fight, but are halted when they get word from Saint Walker that the avatar of hope had chosen a host. Larfleeze and Hal head to the hope possessed girl and meet her and Saint Walker, and this issue ends with SAINT Barry Allen running over to ask Hal what was up with his recent choice in running buddies. Listen, I could care less about any comic that has the name GEOFF Johns on the cover. In my god honest opinion he has completely destroyed everything the DCU has built up over the past two decades or so. As such, reading a comic he wrote tends to turn my stomach, which naturally leads to low scores. So if you liked this issue, kudos to you. If you're a fan of GEOFF, good for you. Me? I hate everything GEOFF writes. Everything. If I wanted to read about Hal Jordan and SAINT Barry Allen, I'd pick up a few DC Chronicles trades and read about them back when they were still exciting and new. Now, whenever I see Hal or SAINT Barry, all I can think about is how screwed over Kyle Rayner and Wally West are, and I lose all ability to write an impartial review. But see, that's the best thing about this being my blog, and not having to answer to anybody, I can write whatever I want! As such, I'm only going to give this comic a score of: 5 1/2 out of 10.

Moving on, we reach Green Arrow #5. This issue begins with Green Arrow rescuing that Mary woman from the assassin, Nix. While Ollie manages to rescue Mary, he isn't able to stop Nix from gutting an innocent civilian in order to make her getaway. Ollie takes the man to the enchanted Starwood forest and dunks him into its magical waters, but instead of the man getting healed, he turns into a Black Lantern thanks to that Black Lantern Firestorm from the Brightest Day comics. Not only that, but tons of Black Lanterns suddenly pop up in the enchanted forest(including Ollie's father somehow)and attack Ollie and his buddy Galahad. Ollie runs to the magic tree with the White Lantern symbol on it and uses the tree's power to defeat the Black Lanterns. With the Black Lanterns defeated(AGAIN!!!), Ollie decides to take the fight to the woman who stole Queen Industries out from under him. Meh. I'm tired of the whole White Lantern thing, I don't care about this idiotic enchanted forest(an enchanted forest? Really? What is this, a fairy tale?!), and I was tired of the Black Lanterns SIX months ago! Besides all that, how the hell did Ollie's father pop up in the enchanted forest?! Was he buried there or something? Weird... Whatever happened to Oliver Queen, street vigilante who would walk the streets of Star City(and Seattle before that)helping citizens in need? No, now we get Green Arrow and his adventures in the Magic Forest. Next. Score: 6 out of 10.

Finally, let's take a look at Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #4. Guy Gardner, Arisia, Kilowog and that Red Lantern head to Daxam to see if they can discover whether or not Sodam Yat was alive or not. After some digging, the group learns that Sodam WAS on Daxam, but that he took a bunch of Daxamites who were worshiping him off-world in order to get them away from the widespread hatred of all things extraterrestrial on Daxam. So where is Sodam? He and his followers have landed on a new world, where Sodam has decided to forsake the Green Lantern way in order to take the Guardians to task for the fact that they were making all sorts of rules, but never bothering to see how those rules were affecting other races. Meanwhile, Guy and company finally arrive in the Unknown Sectors and are attacked by a bunch of mind controlled rookie Green Lanterns at the behest of the ultra-powerful telepath who leads the planet of Kralok. You know, this issue wasn't all that bad. I'm not sure where the Sodam Yat stuff is headed, but I AM glad that he's back to life. I still like the odd couple team of Guy, Arisia, Kilowog and that Red Lantern, and the telepathic villain in the Unknown Sector sure looks like quite the formidable threat. Add Sodam and what looks to be an eventual attack by him on the Guardians, and this series' future looks pretty bright. Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.

"Girl of my wet dreams!"?!?!? REALLY?!?!