X-Men vs Vampires #2(of 2)

Overall: Gah, I have to review THIS... *sigh* Well, let's get it over with... Much like the first issue of this mini-series, we get a look at a different member of the X-Men and follow them as they deal with the dread vampire menace. Last issue we got some interesting stories and good characters. This issue? Well, you be the judge. We open with a story about Gambit picking up a few vampire women at a bar who decide to take a bite out of the Cajun. Gambit leads them on a chase through the streets of San Fransisco, first on a motorcycle, and then on a horse(????)before he manages to defeat and kill the vamps. Next up is a story about Rockslide and Armor, who have been tasked with bringing some food to Utopia. A giant vampire whale(yes, you read that right)attacks the ship, but the kids are able to defeat it by feeding it garlic(ya-huh...). Oh, and to make matters even better, Rockslide wakes up and we learn that the whole vampire whale attack was only a dream, rendering the whole story useless... Next up, Karma, who is attending a Waist Watchers meeting, gets attacked by an obese vampire who sucks the fat(??)out of women, making herself bigger, while making the women thinner. So Karma and the fat vampire fight and ultimately Karma kills her by shoving her outside and into the sun. Finally(mercifully!!!), we get a story about Archangel, who is on the trail of a vampire who has only been killing criminals. The vampire tries to make his case to Archangel, but is unsuccessful, and the two battle, with Archangel trying to keep his dark half at bay. After a bit of a scuffle, Archangel manages to defeat the vampire without transforming into his dark counterpart.

My god was this awful! If not for the Archangel story I'd have lost what's left of my mind... First off, the Gambit story contained Gambit, so that ruined that right there, the second story spotlighted two of the most boring(and dare I say worthless)X-students, and to make matters worse, it was all just a DREAM! The third story... well, the less said about it, the better... Ugh, I just want to forget that I actually paid $4 for this travesty...

Score: 3 out of 10.At least the Archangel story was good... I guess...

Vague Reviews!!!

Hey there X-Maniacs, I'm not really in the mood to do any full reviews(hence the lack of a Superman: Secret Origin review)but I figured I could at least throw a few thoughts out there on some of the books I've read lately and see if anybody feels like talking more about them. Okay? Alright! Let's get going then.

First up is going to be X-Men vs Vampires #1(of 2). I bet if you try really hard you can probably figure out what this comic was about... No? Give up? Okay. It was about the X-Men taking on vampires in a couple of mini stories. I think there were 4 new stories(and a reprint of the X-Men taking on Dracula for the first time)and for the most part they weren't half bad. You had a Dazzler story, a Husk story, one about Martha Johansson(you know, the brain in the jar from Grant Morrison's New X run)and a Magneto story. If I had to choose I'd say the Magneto story was the best, but there really wasn't a “worst”, which is a bit of a surprise considering that these type of comics usually suck. Nice work Marvel! I'll give this one a 7 1/2 out of 10.

Next we'll take a wacky trip into the mind of one Grant Morrison with Batman & Robin #14. I'd say that I understood about 35% of what was going on in this comic, which was definitely an improvement, since I usually understand about 7% of what goes on in this series. The good was definitely Joker's interactions with Damian. It was nice to see Grant take Joker and move away from the way he had been portraying Mistah J during the Batman RIP storyline. Sorry, but I like my Joker in the purple suit telling jokes, not in a tank-top with a split tongue. The rest of the story I could have done without. To say that I hate Pyg is a massive understatement and I just don't know where Grant is trying to go with this Black Glove thing. To be honest, I'm kind of shocked that the whole Black Glove story is STILL going on! Score-wise, I'll go with a 4 out of 10.

Staying with DC, I also checked out Red Robin #16. Here we have Red Robin once again butting heads with Anarky. Anarky has been running around killing teenagers who fit the profile of being Red Robin, which Red Robin naturally doesn't take very kindly to. The fight doesn't end conclusively as Anarky manages to escape, although Red Robin does manage to rescue the original Anarky from the clutches of the current Anarky. Confusing enough? First off, I REALLY like the idea of Anarky becoming a reoccurring/arch-enemy type of character for Tim, because let's face it, that's something that he's never really had. As for the story itself, it was good. I can't really think of anything to complain about, so I'll score it a 7 out of 10 and move on.

And I'll end things with the pick of the litter, Avengers Prime #3(of 5). This comic was a blast to read. The story was cohesive, the dialogue was at times laugh out loud funny and the artwork was by Alan Davis, so you know it was good. We get a kick ass battle between Thor and Hela, Steve Rogers scaring off a horde of ogres with a stern look(man is he awesome...)and Tony Stark riding a horse in the nude. What more could you want from a comic?! This one was written by Brian Michael Bendis, who seems to be regaining more and more of my respect with each new comic he puts out lately. Where has THIS Bendis been for the past 4 years?? I mean there was a time when I wouldn't even read a Bendis written comic because I KNEW it wouldn't be worth my time, but since Siege ended, Bendis has been on fire! Hopefully I didn't just jinx myself with all of this praise... This comic gets the best score of the night with a nearly perfect 9 1/2 out of 10.

So there you have it, four comics down and posted about. As I said earlier, if you want to discuss one of these books in more detail, drop me a comment and I'll be sure to get back to you. I've got to say, tackling these comics in this format was a lot easier than trying to review every single little thing that happened in the book. I'll leave you tonight with two pages from Avengers Prime #3. Until next time, X out.What can I really add to this?