Secret Six #36 & Iron Man 2.0 #7.1

After the last couple of pretty bad Marvel comics I've reviewed, I'm going to read a DC book as well as a Marvel book with the hope being that I'll break the streak of bad comics I've been unfortunate enough to have read these past few days. Although looking at the two books in front of me, I'm not really that optimistic.

Secret Six #36:

Summary: This issue kicks off for real with the Secret Six planning their assault on the Bat-family, an assault that Bane hopes will break Batman(the Bruce Wayne one) emotionally, since breaking Bats physically didn't work. Unfortunately for Bane, there are two problems... The first is that a homeless family was living in the warehouse the Secret Six was staging their attack from, which provides 4 potential witnesses to Bane's plans. Bane wants to kill the family and be done with it, but Scandal won't allow Bane to kill two children. Oh, and that second problem? Penguin, who the Six took captive last issue to gain insight on Batman and his associates, had a tracer hidden under his skin and had his people leak Bane's plans, which has brought a who's who of super-heroes to the warehouse. And when I say a who's who, I mean practically every hero from the Birds of Prey, to Bats and his colleagues, to the Teen Titans to Superman! In other words, the Secret Six were screwed big time. Since they did have the homeless family, Catman figured they may be able to barter for their freedom, and yells to the gathered heroes outside that they did indeed have hostages. Huntress, figuring this whole scene was going to end poorly and still having feelings for Catman, enters the warehouse and offers to let the Six use her as a hostage provided they let the family go. The Six agree to this and free the family, holding Huntress in their place. Even with Huntress, Bane realizes that his plan had been shot to hell, and offers the Six a dose of Venom to power them up with the hope being that if they were going to lose, hopefully they'd take a few heroes out first. With that, the Venom-fueled Six tear through the wall and attack the gathered heroes, ultimately falling in defeat. With that, the Six are all carted away, which is fine by Bane, since he realizes that working with individuals like the Six was a mistake, and that his next shot at Batman wouldn't fail.

Thoughts: Well, this was the last issue of the Secret Six. I have to say, it's been quite the journey... There were a few peaks, but sadly, there were more valleys. Fortunately, this series ended on a high note, as I found myself really enjoying this issue. Bane's plan to break Bats was sound, with the only flaw being his choice of team members, since they themselves were so flawed. I didn't really care for the whole, “blaze of glory” thing the team was going for as they staged their final assault on the gathered heroes, but I can understand why Gail Simone wrote it, since there was really no other way to end this one... The Six weren't going to surrender, and there was no way for them to escape. A suicide attack was really the only way this series could have logically concluded. Sadly Ragdoll didn't die, but since I didn't see him in the epilogue, I'm going to say that he did perish, just to make myself feel better.

Score: 8 out of 10.I love how smug Damian looks here.


Iron Man 2.0 #7.1:

Summary: This issue gets started with James Rhodes(War Machine/Iron Man 2.0) being briefed on the Palmer Addley case by his underlings. Yes, the Palmer Addley storyline is still going strong, although it was interrupted for a few issues by the lame Fear Itself x-over issues. While Rhodey is being briefed, some third world dictator has come to Paris to talk about ways to peacefully end the political strife that was running rampant through his country. The dictator doesn't like the idea of giving the dissenters in his country any extra freedoms, and as such is looking for any reason to leave Paris early, without a peace deal in place. While Rhodey is in the middle of his briefing, he gets word from General Babbage that some robot based on Palmer's designs was flying out of Asia towards Europe. Babbage tells Rhodey to suit up and Rhodey intercepts the robot in Paris. The two battle, and after some destruction, Rhodey defeats the robot. With the robot defeated, and no massive destruction or lives lost, Rhodey figured he thwarted whatever scheme Palmer had concocted... However, the dictator from earlier was right across the street from the battle and decides to leave Paris early since he felt threatened. With no peace plan negotiated, the dictator takes drastic actions and brutally cracks down on the dissenters in his country. In other words, it appears that Palmer got exactly what he wanted after all...

Thoughts: What can I say, I liked this issue. It was actually a great .1 issue, since any new readers learned everything they needed to know about the strange case of Palmer Addley during Rhodey's briefing, while giving us fans who have been following the series from the start a few new little snippets on Palmer's plans. I mean, I really loved the way it looked like Rhodey had won the day, at least until you realized that everything had gone exactly according to Palmer's plan, as the peace talks were scuttled. I may be in the minority, but I'm definitely looking forward to more of Rhodey butting heads with Palmer Addley.

Score: 8 out of 10.Didn't he?

Titans Annual #1 & Secret Six #35

Okay, so the two DC comics I reviewed yesterday turned out to be slightly better than I expected. Granted, I had low expectations going in, but still. Today I'll be looking at two series that routinely score around a 4 or a 5, in other words, I usually don't like them... So once again, the bar is set pretty low...

Titans Annual 2011 #1:

Summary: This issue begins with Osiris obliterating the army of Qurac, which had been waging war on Kahndaq. With the forces of Qurac dealt with, Osiris declares that he was now the sole ruler of Kahndaq, much to Isis's dismay. Meanwhile, Deathstroke manages to scare the Worst Justice League Ever away from his jet by revealing that he had a nuclear device hidden inside it. Not only that, but he also had a lead box on the plane, which causes the League concern since whatever was in the box had to be worse than the nuke. Having gotten a few hours before the League would confront him again, Deathstroke takes the Titans to Kahndaq to speak with former Titan, Osiris. From there we head to Deathstroke's base, where the Tattooed Man meets Dr. Impossible and... Ugh... Dr. Sivana. Impossible tells TM that Deathstroke knew he'd return, before handing TM a teleportation device that would bring him to Deathstroke. Upon arriving in Kahndaq, Deathstroke is attacked by Osiris, who was angry that Deathstroke hadn't been able to resurrect Black Adam as promised. Deathstroke manages to convince Osiris that he was still working on bringing Black Adam back, telling Osiris that he was only one step away, but that he needed Osiris's assistance in holding off the League when they inevitably attacked again. Osiris agrees to help Deathstroke against the League, provided Deathstroke agreed to head Kahndaq's armed forces. After Deathstroke agrees to those terms, the two shake hands just as the League descends on Kahndaq. The League wants to arrest Deathstroke, Osiris won't allow it, so the two factions tear into each other. The battle is leaning towards the League until the Tattooed Man teleports to Deathstroke, who immediately tells Tattooed Man to deal with the League's heaviest hitter, Supergirl. Since Tattooed Man's powers are based in magic, he manages to weaken Supergirl, at which time Deathstroke opens the lead box from earlier, pulling out a Kryptonite covered sword. Deathstroke attacks Supergirl from behind with the sword, slashing her a few times. Atom interrupts Deathstroke's fun, and the battle continues to rage on, destroying more and more of Kahndaq. Finally having had enough, Isis turns the weather and land against the League and the Titans, separating them and declaring the fight over. She dismisses the League from Kahndaq, telling them that if they returned it would be considered an act of war. Not keen on starting an international incident, the League collect their injured and head home. Isis then declares herself the leader of Kahndaq, telling Osiris that he was too reckless to lead the country. With that all taken care of, Deathstroke reveals that he got what he really wanted from the battle, Supergirl's blood. Deathstroke grabs a bloody piece of Supergirl's cape, and takes the team back to his base, where he hands the cape over to Sivana so he could finish whatever experiment Deathstroke had him working on. That Worthless Junkie questions why Deathstroke needed Supergirl's blood, and Deathstroke explains that it was needed to save the life of somebody near and dear to him, Jericho.

Thoughts: First things first, before I even begin talking about the story, dialogue, art or anything else here, there's something I feel the need to mention... During the League's battle with the Titans in Kahndaq, Jade ends up being drawn in the place of Cinder in one panel, making it look like Starman was battling Jade, his own teammate, while calling her Cinder... Now yes, that's a small thing, but still, it's pretty amateurish. I mean this isn't some little indy comic company, it's a DC comic! Doesn't anybody proofread the comics before they go to print? So yeah, in today's day and age, that's the kind of mistake you really don't expect to see in one of the Big Two's comic books. Looking past that at the story, I was left kind of flat here... This is another case of me just not really caring about the storyline since it's all going to be moot in two month's time. Will Black Adam come back? It doesn't matter. Will Deathstroke be able to save Jericho from whatever malady is affecting him? Once again, it doesn't matter... This wasn't a terrible comic or anything, it just dragged on too long, especially considering the fact that I could care less about the outcome.

Score: 6 out of 10.When in doubt, post a splash page!


Secret Six #35:

Summary: After having spent the past few issues in Hell(thanks to Ragdoll, who's been completely forgiven mind you), Bane decides that he's been living his life all wrong. Since he's destined to spend eternity in Hell anyway, even though he's lived what he'd consider a righteous life, Bane decides to do whatever he wants while on Earth, and I'll give ya three guesses as to what Bane wants... That's right, to destroy Batman's life. To this end, Bane decides to kill the people Batman cares the most about, since physically breaking Bats back in the day didn't stop him. Bane writes a list of four people Bats cared about, Red Robin, Batgirl, Robin and Huntress Commissioner Gordon(it was originally Huntress, but Catman balked at that idea), and tells the team that they'd break into pairs and kill/maim/break those four individuals while Bane kept Bats occupied. Since he needed one more person to round out his team, as well as information on the Bat-family, Bane and the Secret Six(actually Secret Eight, but who's counting?) attack the Penguin while he's aboard his private boat. After some coaxing, Bane manages to get Penguin to agree to join the Six(Nine) to take down Bats... Once and for all.

Thoughts: Well, I didn't hate this comic, which makes this issue way better than the past several. Yes Ragdoll is still hanging around, even though he should have been killed issues ago, and Knockout is back for some reason, but at least Bane's epiphany has given the team some direction. They're not sitting on the fence, half good and half bad, they're not being mercenaries, they're being villains, period. If Penguin hadn't been in this issue, I'd probably have scored it even higher. Penguin or not, this was probably the best issue of this series I've read in months, which makes perfect sense in light of the fact that it's being canned with the reboot...

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.Good to know!

Wonder Woman #611 & Secret Six #34

Back to the soon to be dead DRAMATICALLY IMPROVED!!!!!!!! comic company known as DC for these next two reviews. I'm cautiously optimistic that Wonder Woman will be good, while I'm expecting absolutely nothing from Secret Six. Will I be surprised? Let's find out!

Wonder Woman #611:

Summary: We get started with the two remaining members of the Morrigan demanding to know where Wonder Woman and her Amazon allies had disappeared off to from Dr. Psycho. Psycho laughs at them and tells them that the reason they couldn't find WW was because she was right under their noses... At which time WW, Artemis, Giganta and Cheetah attack the Morrigan's hideout. The Morrigan rush to their secretive master(I'm guessing the Goddess of Vengeance) and beg for one more chance to defeat WW and company. Their hidden master tells them to finally defeat WW lest they want to be wiped from existence. By this point, WW and her allies enter the room and WW is immediately drawn to the door the Goddess of Vengeance was behind. WW's allies attack the Morrigan while WW approaches the door, which was adorned by WW's symbols. Giganta winds up being killed by one of the two remaining Morrigan, but manages to drive an ax deep into the chest of the Morrigan, fatally wounding her. While Cheetah and Artemis take the battle to the last member of the Morrigan, WW touches the door, and ends up being stabbed through the stomach from the other side of the door. That distraction costs Cheetah her life, as the Morrigan fells her with a burst of fire. Now enraged, Artemis makes the fatal mistake of charging the final Morrigan, which leads to her being burnt to death as well. As for WW, her mind is filled with visions of another life, one where she led an army of souls who were killed by various wars. WW's army swarms over Earth's heroes, killing them all until only Superman is left. He tries to talk some sense into WW but his words fall on deaf ears as WW buries her sword deep into Superman's chest. That final vision is enough to jar WW back to consciousness where she pulls herself off of the sword that was still sticking in her gut. As she hits the floor, the final living member of the Morrigan approaches WW and prepares to turn WW into a member of the Morrigan.

Thoughts: I liked this issue a lot! Was it perfect? No, but it was a fast read with LOTS of action and a couple of deaths. So it appears the power behind the Morrigan is an alternate version of Wonder Woman, apparently the Goddess of Vengeance WW was warned about last issue. If I'm reading all of this the right way(and who knows if I am...) then that's a pretty awesome little swerve that'll have WW battling against a warped version of herself to end this oh so long Odyssey storyline. It's nice to see the finish line to this story... Just as DC prepares to self-destruct in a few months... *sigh*

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.Yep, THAT'S gonna leave a mark!


Secret Six #34:

Summary: This issue begins with the Six rescuing Scandal's captured girlfriend from the nutjob who had kidnapped her. The Six take the woman to safety, and once her girlfriend was out of sight, Scandal kills the kidnapper. From there, Bane goes on a date with a stripper which ends with Bane killing a thug and the woman promising to “mate” with Bane... Okay then. Scandal forgives Ragdoll for the whole, “Taking the team to Hell and trying to marry Scandal's dead girlfriend” thing, while Catman is happy in the knowledge that his father was roasting in Hell. This issue ends with Scandal realizing that she'd have to decide on which girlfriend to stay with, the recently returned from Hell, Knockout or her current girlfriend.

Thoughts: Well, this issue was brisk. I guess it has to do with the impending DC reboot, because Gail Simone was FLYING through the storylines here! Sure some of the stuff here bugged me(anything involving Ragdoll), but this was, for the most part, a perfectly acceptable comic.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.You'd think killing somebody on the first date would be a deal breaker, but I guess not...

Secret Six #33 & Action Comics #900

Just two comics to post tonight, both from the wacky world of DC. One comic I couldn't stand, while the other was surprisingly good... Read on to find out which was which!

Secret Six #33:

Summary: This issue gets under way with Ragdoll offering the Secret Six(minus Catman, who I'll get to later) the opportunity to rule by his side in Hell, as opposed to being tormented for all eternity. The team does a vote(how democratic of them) and Deadshot gets the deciding vote which he answers by shooting Ragdoll in the head. While that's going on, Catman and Etrigan find Catman's father, who is being tormented by Catman's mother. Content that his old man had received the punishment he so richly deserved, Catman says hi to his mom before leaving them. The rest of the Six are busy battling Ragdoll's Secret Six-Hundred and Sixty Six(yes, I love that), with Scandal Savage making her way through the crowd to come face to face with her dead girlfriend, Knockout. Knockout doesn't remember Scandal, and tries to attack her, which Scandal responds to by putting Knockout over her shoulder and carrying her along... Really?!? The same Knockout who used to beat the hell out of Superboy monthly?! This... just... doesn't... make... sense... Blaze(the current head honcho of Hell) arrives on the scene and tells the Six that the jig was up. It seems that she had decided that Ragdoll and Knockout would marry, and wasn't going to stand for the Six screwing up her plans. Blaze forces the Six members to face their greatest fears, which they do, until they all suddenly decide not to anymore... Huh? Anyway, Scandal decides to challenge Blaze, the ruler of Hell, to one on one combat, in Hell, for the souls of her friends and Knockout. Yeah, okay. By this point, Catman and Etrigan arrive and Catman pledges that he'd support Scandal, as do the rest of the Six... As well as Ragdoll... It seems that after ALL this, Ragdoll has had a change of heart and gives Scandal the Get Out of Hell Free card, at which point Scandal and the rest of the Six forgive Ragdoll... With that, Blaze decides that the Six and Ragdoll can leave Hell(wait, why?!?), but warns Scandal that if she uses the card to free Knockout, her current girlfriend(who is being tortured by a maniac) would probably be dead soon, so she had best consider her next step carefully.

Thoughts: Wow, this was horrible... I mean, when I first read it I thought it was pretty bad, but going thorugh it a second time for this review really hammered home just how bad it was. Scandal deciding to literally carry Knockout away ON HER SHOULDER, the Six suddenly not being trapped in their fears, Scandal challenging Blaze to one on one combat, IN HELL, and then the rest of the Six announcing they'd fight by Scandal's side... I mean everything about that is off... First off, Blaze rules Hell! No matter what you do, you're not beating her! Besides that, did the Six miss the part where Scandal made the challenge and specifically said it would be a one on one fight, as in only involving Scandal and Blaze?! And then we have Ragdoll having a change of heart and being forgiven, and then Blaze allowing the Six to leave Hell, just like that. Now I can ignore the leaving Hell thing because the Six did need to get home somehow, but the Ragdoll thing was just the coup de grace for me. That should NEVER have happened! He betrayed the ENTIRE team, tried to marry Scandal's dead lover, and basically almost doomed them to an afterlife where he'd be lording over them... I mean if ever you're not going to forgive somebody, this is that time! But as always, I hate Ragdoll with a passion, so that kind of shades my opinions. I was hoping this storyline would finally rid the team o f Ragdoll, but no, I'm sure all of this will be forgotten 2 or 3 issues down the road. I have to say, I'm pretty surprised this comic hasn't been canceled yet...

Score: 3 out of 10.Um, Knockout could kill Scandal with ONE finger! This scene makes NO sense!!!


Action Comics #900:

Summary: Supes take a break from his cross-country trek to head to Metropolis upon learning that Doomsday had kidnapped several Supes based characters, Superboy, Eradicator, Supergirl, Steel, and Cyborg Superman in particular. Those characters do play a part in this story, but it's a very small part until the very end, so I'll be skipping over most of their scenes. Basically they fight and run from Doomsday a lot on some freaky space station. As for Supes, he heads into the sky to try to figure out where his allies(and enemy) have gone when he is teleported to Lex Luthor, who had managed to acquire the powers of a god last issue. Lex, being Lex, gives Supes the story as to how he gained the power he now wielded(he bonded with a young god from the Phantom Zone), but Supes is more interested in finding the doorway to the Phantom Zone this god came from, since it was his chance to rescue his son, Chris(in a GREAT touch!). Lex doesn't take kindly to being ignored, and attacks Supes physically, before deciding to break Supes mentally by forcing him to relive several painful events in his life. First Luthor heads to the scene of Superman's “death” at the hands of Doomsday and forces him to feel the emotions Lois Lane felt that day, since Lex wanted Supes to feel what human loss felt like. This annoys Supes, who tells Lex that he's felt the sting of loss before. Lex refuses to believe that an alien can feel emotions such as loss, and forces Supes to live through the last moments of his father and mother as Krypton exploded. This angers Supes, but still doesn't break him. Lex now decides to force Supes to relive Chris's sacrifice and return to the Phantom Zone, which seems to legitimately hurt Supes, bringing Lex some pleasure. From there, he forces Supes to watch New Krypton explode once again. Finally having had enough of Lex's games, Supes tells Lex that he DOES feel like a normal person does, and demands that Lex looks into his mind to see what caused Supes the most pain. Figuring it was some cosmic event, such as the deaths of worlds, or something else that would separate Supes from a normal man, Lex does as he's told, and is brought to the Kent family farm where Supes and Ma are mourning over the dead body of Pa Kent. Lex recognizes the farm, and the Kent's, and then finally realizes that Superman and Clark Kent were one and the same(!!!). Supes tries to take that opportunity to prove to Lex that they were more alike then Lex thought, but instead Lex is infuriated by the fact that Supes got to grow up amongst people who loved him, while he didn't. Lex finally flips out and blasts Supes with enough power to disintegrate him, but is surprised to see that Supes was still alive. At this point Mr. Mind(in the body of the Lois Robot), tells Lex that the god from the Phantom Zone had woken up and was fighting Lex for control of their merged body(as well as limiting Lex's powers). Lex realizes that he has to defeat/kill the Phantom Zone god, and summons it, since killing it would give Lex the infinite power he needed to finally kill off Superman. The Phantom Zone god decides to stop fighting Lex and give him the infinite power he craved, provided he only used it as the Phantom Zone god wanted it used, to bring peace and happiness throughout the universe. With that, Lex has his infinite power, and begins radiating happiness throughout the universe, causing every being to be filled with bliss. Supes tells Lex that what he was doing was a wonderful thing, and that he could finally be the hero he always saw himself as, while Mr. Mind warns Lex that the power would leave him if he acted in a negative manner. Supes apologizes for anything he did to Lex that may have caused him anger, since he wanted Lex to continue to shower the cosmos with bliss. Lex ponders all of this for a moment, but is unable to let go of his hatred, and attacks Supes anew, losing his infinite power in the process... Ah Lex... With that, Mr. Mind leaves the body of the Lois robot, and Lex continues his assault on Supes. Supes plays the old rope-a-dope, and takes the worst Lex can throw at him, as Lex slowly but surely uses up the last of his cosmic power. Finally nearly empty, Supes stages an attack of his own, and knocks the rest of Lex's power away, as well as apparently a part of his very mind. It seems that Lex's mind was unable to cope with what he lost, and begins to fail him. Even brain-addled, Lex is still coherent enough to taunt Supes by telling him that he was responsible for the disappearances of his friends via Doomsday, before he is sucked into a portal and vanishes from sight. Now remembering the whole Doomsday thing, Supes rushes to the base Lex described to him and enters the space station. Supes meets up with the captives and learns that Lex had managed to create several Doomsday clones, and the main story of this issue ends with Supes and his allies(and Cyborg Superman) being confronted by a wave of Doomsdays! There were also four other stories here, as well as a screenplay. Some of the stories were great(Damon Lindelof's tale in particular), while others were absolute rubbish(David Goyer's piece, which I'll hit on in the thoughts section.).

Thoughts: This comic had 96 pages and cost $6, but it was well worth the price. Paul Cornell's main story, the conclusion to his Lex Luthor storyline, was absolutely fantastic, and on it's own would have probably given this comic a perfect score. Unfortunately, I can't judge this comic by just that one story, I have to look at everything here. If not for the Goyer tale, I still would have gone with a perfect score, but alas, in good conscience, I can't... The Goyer story is the one getting so much play in the mainstream media, and has Supes renouncing his US citizenship. To be honest, Supes renouncing his US citizenship didn't bother me as much as the horrible story it took place in... Yes, renouncing his citizenship was a bonehead move, especially considering the fact that he's STILL traveling across America in the main Superman title, and will STILL be living in Metropolis, but the story itself was a horrible Middle Eastern political statement piece that really bugged me. I've stated numerous times that I like to have my politics separated from my comic books(I'm looking at YOU, Civil War!), and this issue didn't do that. So yeah, the Goyer story REALLY hurt my enjoyment of this one, and kept it from a rare perfect score...

Score: 9 1/2 out of 10.Lex's reaction here is laugh out loud stuff!

Secret Six #32 & JSA All-Stars #17

Two more DC reviews to put up, as I continue being trapped in Bizarro World... What am I talking about? Well strangely enough, I've been enjoying pretty much all of the new DC books I've been reading these past few nights. However, that's probably because of the fact that I haven't read any Flash, Green Lantern, Superman, Batman or Brightest Day books lately. The moral to this story? Avoid the “mainstream” DC comic books, and you'll be a much happier person!

Secret Six #32:

Summary: Ragdoll explains to the rest of the Six that he was happy being in Hell, and that the bigwigs down under had made him into a prince. Ragdoll tells the Sixers that he didn't want to be on Earth anymore since he felt he was losing his edge thanks to the influence of Black Alice. With Ragdoll happy in Hell, the Six figure that he'd give them the Get Out of Hell Free card, but alas, he doesn't, which pisses off Scandal Savage, who wanted to use the card to free her girlfriend, Knockout from Hell. The team decides to attack Ragdoll and his Secret Six Hundred and Sixty-Six(HA!), but soon realize that Catman was no longer with them. Where did he get off to? Catman went off with Etrigan(man is he getting around lately!) to find his father. The Six take on the Six Hundred and Sixty-Six, but soon realize the futility of the battle. They then decide to attack Ragdoll, figuring if they could kill Ragdoll, Ragdoll's troops would hopefully fall into disarray. Scandal makes it up to Ragdoll and seems prepared to kill him(killing somebody in Hell? How does that work exactly?), when she is laid out with a punch from Ragdoll's bride-to-be, Knockout!

Thoughts: I'll be the first to admit, this series has REALLY fallen away quality-wise(for me at least) the past... Sheesh, I'd say 20 issues or so. Most of that was due to how tired Ragdoll's act had gotten, as well as my well documented hatred of Black Alice. This storyline actually seems to be trying to rectify BOTH of my complaints. Ragdoll turning against the Six is working extremely well, and Black Alice wasn't even IN this issue! I'm sure next issue Black Alice will show up, and Ragdoll will be forgiven and rejoin the team, but at least this issue was good.

Score: 7 out of 10."My name is King Shark. I'm a shark." Ah, NOW I get the name!


JSA All-Stars #17:

Summary: Man, I swear I must have missed an issue of this series, because I don't know what happened to end the last storyline... But whatever, let's move on to this issue! Power Girl and Sand head to an insane asylum and find out some guy escaped. We find out that Sand saw the guy escape in one of his dreams, and that the guy was really powerful and disturbed(sort of like me!). Power Girl looks around the cell and sees some tachyon particles, which makes her decide to go after the HIVE... Um, what? Anyway, the crazy guy heads to the All-Stars headquarters and finds Star Girl and Judomaster. He introduces himself as the Prince, shows that he knows both hero's real names, and then tells them a story where he was a member of the JSA, but that his arch-enemy, Dr. Hate(who's also his mother), had altered reality, creating the current DCU... Um no, that would be Chairman Johns. Needless to say the two women don't believe Prince, but don't want to provoke him. Eventually Power Girl arrives on the scene and doesn't care about provoking the Prince, leading to the Prince flying away, since he didn't want to fight his “teammate”. Power Girl pursues and the two get into a bit of a fight, with Prince still trying his damnedest to avoid PG. Eventually they crash on an island where they are both met by Dr. Hate.

Thoughts: Well, the fact that there actually WAS a Dr. Hate kind of gives credence to Prince's story that his was the “correct” reality and the current DCU was wrong. Personally, I agree with Prince that the current DCU is wrong too, but that's neither here nor there. This is another DC comic getting canceled soon, and much like Freedom Fighters, this series seems like it's going to go out on a high. There's really nothing else to say. This was, as they say, a perfectly acceptable comic book.

Score: 7 out of 10.The pornstar mustache should REALLY stay in the 1970's...

Quick Hits: 3/7/11

Hey X-Maniacs, I really don't have much to say, as I've just been outside shoveling snow all morning. We got about 21 inches of the white stuff and I was out there in it for a good 3 hours, so yeah, I am wiped out! On the plus side, my county is under a state of emergency, meaning now school today! So if I'm kind of slow getting back to any comments you guys know why. Good thing I typed these reviews up yesterday!

Outsiders #36:

Summary: Black Lightning brings his renegade Outsiders team to visit his daughter, Thunder, since he wanted to check in with her after being absent for so long. While talking to Thunder and her girlfriend, Grace, Black Lightning's other daughter, Lightning(get it? Thunder &Lightning! How clever.......) brings several of her JSA teammates over to arrest her fugitive father. While that battle is raging on, Geo-Force thinks he is seeing the spirit(ghost? dream?) of his sister, who tells him to stop trusting everybody and to kill his enemies. Back to the battle, Black Lightning ends up surrendering to the JSA, since he didn't want to see either of his daughters harmed. Amanda Waller shows up and offers Black Lightning a way to avoid being sent to prison for betraying the US when he sided with Geo-Force and Markovia, head into Markovia and take down Geo-Force and his army. Black Lightning happily(??) agrees.

Thoughts: Meh. There wasn't really anything wrong with this comic(for a change) but with that said, especially in light of the fact that this series is being canceled soon, I just couldn't work up any interest in it... I mean it was perfectly acceptable and all, but sadly for this series, it may just be too little too late for me. I'll stick it out until the end, but my interest here is really, really low.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.That is one suck-tacular team...


Secret Avengers #10:

Summary: Shang-Chi's evil father is just about ready to possess Shang, when Steve Rogers and his Secret Avengers crash the party. The Shadow Council(who were hoping that assisting Shang's father would help them move their evil empire into China) immediately jump into the fray, hoping that they could distract the Secret Avengers long enough for Shang's father to complete the ceremony. However, Steve came prepared and enlisted the help of the Prince of Orphans, who takes Shang's father and the Council completely by surprise. Unable to complete the magical ritual, Shang's father disintegrates, and the Shadow Council attempts to escape. While the Secret Avengers manage to capture Shadow Council agent(and Steve's former WWII ally) John Steele, Max Fury and the Shadow Council's enigmatic leader manage to escape. This issue ends a few days later with Steve heading down to visit Steele to try to figure out what turned him bad.

Thoughts: First off, I have to admit that I'm quite pleased to see this story come to an end. To say that I could care less about Shang-Chi and his evil father is an understatement. I enjoyed this issue more than the last four parts of this storyline, maybe because I knew this was the final part, or maybe because this was pretty much an all action issue. Either way, this was a pretty good comic, and I'll be looking forward to learning more about the mystery of John Steele.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.Women... Always stabbing people...


Secret Six #31:

Summary: Scandal Savage's current girlfriend is kidnapped by her ex-boyfriend, just as Scandal is having a nightmare about her former(and dead) girlfriend, Knockout. Scandal wakes up and remembers that she had acquired a “Get out of Hell free” card WAY back around the beginning of this series(sheesh, what a thing to forget about!) and decides she'd use it to free Knockout from Hell. However, upon looking in her floor safe, she sees that the card had been stolen, and realizes that the only person on the Six with the skill to have broken into her floor safe was Ragdoll. Scandal attacks Ragdoll in his bedroom, and the two battle while the rest of the Six watch dumbfounded. Eventually Scandal impales Ragdoll with her wrist blades, which leads to Ragdoll using the “Get out of Hell free” card himself and vanishing. Scandal is incensed and decides that she was going to go to Hell to retrieve the card before Ragdoll could use it. Black Alice tells the team where a porthole to Hell was located and the team head down to the underworld, being met by Ragdoll and a small army of demons.

Thoughts: Eh. There are two major problems with this series for me... Ragdoll and Black Alice. I despise the both of them, and I'm REALLY hopeful that Ragdoll stays in Hell at the conclusion of this storyline. I mean he's just not funny anymore. The gag got old 20 issues ago. As for Black Alice, I really don't care to read about a bitchy goth girl. I don't see how she fits on a team of mercenaries, and as such I don't get why she'd even be on the team. And the stuff with Scandal's girlfriend being kidnapped by her ex? I don't even know what the hell that's all about. A lot of things have to happen for me to start enjoying this comic again, hopefully this issue is going to lead to one of those things.

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.Good!!!!!

Quick Hits: DC Edition.

Hey all, three new Quick Hits today, and they all come from the wacky land of DC. On the positive side, one of these comics was actually pretty good. On the negative side, this post looks at three comics...

Secret Six #30:

Summary: We kick off with some slacker learning that his grandfather had died and left him a particle cannon, 3 billion dollars and expected the slacker to carry on the family legacy of crime. The slacker decides to do that, and begins speaking like a reject from 1950's gangster movie for some reason. The slacker gathers his loser friends and decides he needs a secret island base, the Doom Patrol's island. To this end he hires the Secret Six(or Secret Eight in this issue)and the Eight battle the Doom Patrol in the battle NOBODY requested. While the two teams battle it out, the volcano on the Doom Patrol's island explodes.

Thoughts: My god was this bad! First off, who exactly are the members of the Secret Six nowadays? Catman, Bane, Scandal, Deadshot, King Shark, that Banshee woman, Ragdoll and Black Frigging Alice. Now I'm no math whiz, but eight characters do not make a team of Six... If Gail Simone would drop Ragdoll(who is just painfully unfunny now)and Black Alice(yay, a moody goth girl, JUST what we needed!)this team would actually look pretty decent. Even though to this day I'm STILL not sure why Catman decided to rejoin, but what the hell I guess. I've NEVER liked the Doom Patrol, and I'm SHOCKED that they have an ongoing comic! I seriously didn't know that. The second part of this story continues in the Doom Patrol series, and I'll tell you now, there's NO way I'll be picking THAT comic up! Basically the story never came together for me, I didn't like many of the characters in this comic, the villains are the embodiment of the word “lame”, and I didn't even mention Bane's “date”... Yeah, this was bad.

Score: 2 out of 10.I've got nothin' to say here...


Weird Worlds #2(of 6):

Summary: Three stories, so let me try to blitz through them ASAP. After a fun little fight, Lobo captures the alien he was tasked with bringing in, although the alien tries to explain that he wasn't a bad guy and that he was being sent back to the bad guys, probably to his death. Naturally, Lobo could care less. Next was Garbage Man, who returns to the facility that turned him into the creature he was. He meets up with the mad scientist who created him, and the scientist explains that GM couldn't be turned back into a human. The scientist winds up getting killed due to his own evil antics, and with no hope, Garbage Man decides to destroy the entire facility, hoping that the ensuing explosion would FINALLY kill him. Finally we had the Tanga story... She finds a world, babbles on and on for a while, gets drunk, passes out and wakes out with the bar she was at destroyed around her.

Thoughts: I enjoyed the Lobo story immensely, shockingly I LOVED the Garbage Man story, and I absolutely hated the Tanga tale. Lobo is Lobo, and when written properly it's hard to screw that up, and this Lobo story is definitely being written well. Next issue seems to be setting up a moral dilemma for Lobo, who doesn't have morals, so that in and of itself should be interesting. The Garbage Man story continues to surprise me, because I figured it would be horrible. Instead, it's my favorite of the three stories, and in just two short issues I actually find myself feeling sympathetic for GM. So HUGE props to Aaron Lopresti, who did the words and the pencils for that story. Finally, there's Tanga. She's SO annoying I just have nothing nice to say about her story... If that story wasn't included, I'd have probably added another full point to the final score. As is, the final score here is...

Score: 8 out of 10.D'oh!!


JSA All-Stars #15:

Summary: After being blasted by Sylvester Pemberton, Citizen Steel, Power Girl and Tomcat are trapped in some alternate world. Pemberton's forces come under attack by the remaining members of the All-Stars, while Pemberton tells his evil magicians to continue building their ultimate weapon. Pemberton distracts the All-Stars long enough for his magicians to bring the Puzzlemen to life, who are basically giant rock monsters. The Puzzlemen batter the All-Stars and this issue ends with the All-Star's living computer possessing the comatose body of Pemberton's daughter.

Thoughts: Meh. I honestly couldn't even remember what happened last issue in this series. That's never a good sign. I'm still not sure what Pemberton is up to, why he's decided to work with these evil magicians to bring back the Puzzlemen when I thought he wanted to save his daughter, and as for the ending, with Roxy possessing Pemberton's daughter, that just seemed scummy to me. So even though I didn't particularly enjoy this issue, it's still leaps and bounds better than the flagship Justice Society of America series, so I guess that's a positive.

Score: 4 1/2 out of 10.Hey look, it's Power Girl!

Best of the Rest! January 22nd edition.

Hey all, I won't bore you all with a long winded intro, instead I'll just go right into my two topics du jour and then to the reviews. Onward!

I want to buy Iron Man #500... Can you spare $150?
So I was going through the solicits on Tuesday to see what I'd be grabbing from the comic book shop come Wednesday, and I noticed that Invincible Iron Man #500 would be released. That's good, since issue #500 was the start of a new storyline(or so I thought), one that I'd be following from the beginning, unlike the last story, which I started reading at the 3rd or 4th part. Since this is one of those MEGA, GALA, SUPER anniversary issues Marvel LOVES to put out, not only was Iron Man released with one cover, it also received several variant covers. Now I personally have never understood who would buy a $3/$4/$5 comic book for an extra amount of money simply because of the cover, but somebody must, because Marvel REALLY loves putting out variants. Anyway, IM #500 had 4 different covers, so I figured I'd take a look at them just for kicks. You had the original cover which was $5, a JRJR cover for $18, a Marko Djurdjevic cover for $50(!)and a Joe Quesada cover for $150(!!!!)... Yes, that's right, one hundred and fifty dollars for a comic book you could instead buy for $5... I mean really, who in the WORLD would pay an extra $145 for a COVER?! Maybe if the comic was made of gold and had an I-Pod built into it I'd consider paying that much money for a NEW comic, but $150 simply for a cover?! I can't rationalize that at all...

Good-bye DC... It's been fun.
The rumors state that Chairman Johns, aka he of no original ideas, will be renumbering many DC series during the sure to be sucktacular Saint Barry Allen love-in Flashpoint ala the awesome Age of Apocalypse from Marvel back in the 90's. I've already stated that I WON'T be buying any DC Flashpoint issues as a protest due to DC allowing Chairman Johns almost unlimited power to destroy the DCU as he sees fit, but now it appears that DC will be dragging even more titles into the black hole of creativity that I'm sure Flashpoint will be. Let me state this in as plain a manner as I can. I buy a lot of comics, both Marvel and DC. Lately my enjoyment of DC comics has been waning, while my enjoyment of the Marvel books has been growing. I WILL NOT buy ANY DC comic that carries the Flashpoint banner. So let's say for example DC decides to have the Secret Six x-over with Flashpoint. That means I won't buy the Secret Six for as long as Flashpoint is ongoing. Furthermore, once I stop buying a book like Secret Six, there's a really good chance I won't bother picking it up again once Flashpoint ends, since I'll probably have started picking up other Marvel/Image or indy books to fill the void. I've enjoyed reading about the DCU these past four years or so. I've brought TONS of DC comics, as this blog is a testament to(as of right now I have 1,001 posts with a “DC Comics” label). I honestly think Flashpoint will be my breaking point, and the thing that destroys my interest in DC once and for all... I hope that isn't true, I mean if I was able to withstand the unadulterated awfulness that was Secret Invasion from Marvel, maybe I'll be able to stand Flashpoint, but the outlook seems bleak, and I fear I'll be saying good-bye to those DC characters I still do enjoy. I hope you're happy Chairman Johns and his brainwashed Silver Age cronies, you're about to lose a huge fan...

Okay, let's get to the reviews. Up first is Widowmaker #3(of 4). We get things started with Black Widow sending Hawkeye into a Dark Ocean Japanese brothel with the hopes of getting some information about the Dark Ocean organization. Basically, the Dark Ocean is an evil Japanese organized crime organization run by Ronin that has been killing several international spies. Hawkeye blows his cover almost immediately and is attacked by the women in the brothel. Black Widow rushes in to help and confronts the leader of the brothel, the Madame. The Madame explains that she was working with Ronin and that once Ronin's plans come to fruition she'd be an emperess, not just a simple Madame. After dropping some more vague hints, she disappears, leaving Widow not only knowing where Ronin was, but WHO he was. Meanwhile, Mockingbird and Dominic Fortune go after the Russian side of the Ronin mystery, and after beating up and tricking Russian soldiers, they head to an island that was disputed by the Russians and the Japanese. Upon arriving at the disputed island, Mock and Fortune meet up with Hawkeye and Widow, who had arrived moments before. The heroes share notes, and Ronin walks out of a temple, at which time Black Widow attacks. She takes Ronin down and unmasks him to reveal the Red Guardian, her ex-husband. Ronin explains that he was sickened by the democratic Russia, and wanted to take out the leaders of both Russia and Japan to create a new world power. This issue ends with Ronin forcing a volcano to erupt on the disputed island, figuring the destruction of the island would distract the Russian and Japanese governments enough for him to swoop in and kill all of their leaders. Well, we finally found out who Ronin was, and what his plans were. That was a major plus here, because the first two issues basically had the heroes running about aimlessly. I really don't have much more to say than I enjoyed this issue and am looking forward to seeing how the heroes will be able to stop the insane plots of Ronin. Score-wise, let's give this one a solid 7 1/2 out of 10.

Next up we head to DC and Secret Six #29. This comic actually crosses over with the last issue of Action Comics, although I have NO idea what issue that was, and I'm not really interested in figuring it out. Picking up from that issue of Action, the remote control rigged to blow up Lex's building is sitting precariously on top of its button. Lex acts nonchalant about it, which annoys Vandal Savage, but Lex has good reason not to care, as he sits in his chair and erects a force field around himself, sure that he'd survive the explosion. Lex taunts Vandal a bit and then has a bunch of guns set their sights on Scandal Savage, telling Vandal that if he doesn't disarm the bomb, he'd ventilate Vandal's daughter. Vandal stomps over to the remote and tries to shut it down, but realizes that it was stuck... D'oh! With the bombs now activated and counting down, Lex sends Black Alice away to try to find as many bombs as she could, while Vandal asks Lex to at least allow his daughter into the force field. Scandal says that she wouldn't go unless the rest of her team was saved as well, so Lex says fine, provided Vandal admitted defeat. Vandal reluctantly does as asked, and Lex allows Vandal, his underlings and the Secret Six into the force field just as the building blows. From there, Scandal slugs Lex for threatening to have her killed earlier and leaves with the Six, while Lex and Vandal decide to stick together, ending this issue. Hey, this was the first time in AGES I enjoyed an issue of the Secret Six! Of course Gail Simone did try to ruin that by emphasizing Ragdoll, who is just painfully unfunny by this point. This story would have been SO much better had it simply focused on Lex and the two Savages. Instead we get Ragdoll narrating the thing. Ragdoll was funny back when he was still new, back when Simone first brought the Six together, but right now he's just tired... I get it, he's a sexual deviant and screws monkeys. Yawn. Whatever. The Ragdoll annoyances really brought down what could have been a great comic and simply left it a very good comic. I mean I still REALLY enjoyed this comic, but I can't help but feel it could have been better. As it was though, I'd easily recommend this issue and the Action Comics that set it up, as this was a fun little two-part crossover. I'll give this issue an 8 out of 10 for a score.

Heading back to the Marvel Universe, here's X-Factor #213. After his confrontation with Hela last issue, Darwin seems to be having some difficulty ridding himself of her death influence. Jamie catches up with Darwin in Vegas, and Darwin tells Jamie he wouldn't be returning with Jamie to X-Factor Investigations until he was able to purge Hela's influence. With that, Jamie returns to the rest of the team and they complain that he should have done more to help Darwin. Shatterstar tells Rictor that Wolfsbane's child wasn't his, which is something Rictor had figured out two issues back. Shatterstar tells Rictor that he met the father of the unborn baby while fighting Hela, and Rictor decides he needed to clear the air with Wolfsbane. Rictor heads to Wolfsbane and tells her he knows about the baby's father, and was wondering why she lied. Wolfsbane tells Rictor that she didn't want to be responsible for Rictor going to Hell(on account of him being gay)and figured a baby with her would have kept him with her and away from Shatterstar. The two talk, and Rictor once again reiterates that Wolfsbane leaving him didn't “turn” him gay, and that with a baby on the way she had more important things to worry about then Rictor's soul. This issue ends with Pip the Troll(who X-Factor saved from Hela last issue and was serving as X-Factor's receptionist)seemingly plotting against the team over the phone with somebody. This was really an aftermath/set-up issue, and it was a VERY strong one at that. Wolfsbane seems to finally have come to terms with Rictor's homosexuality(or at least as much as she can with her ultra conservative upbringing), Darwin has left the team for the time being, while Pip has joined and seems to have some sort of plan against the team formulating. Really good stuff here, but what would you expect? It's written by Peter David. For a score, I'll go with an 8 out of 10.

Sticking with Marvel, here comes the final part of the I Am An Avenger mini-series with issue #5. We have three stories here, so let's get started. The first one is a suicide prevention PSA starring Captain America. A teenager with a lousy life heads up to his roof to jump when he spots Cap battling against the forces of Hydra. Cap puts down the Hydra goons, but a huge Hydra robot lands to continue the battle. Cap flings his shield at the robot, but it knocks it away, right over to the kid on the rooftop. Without his shield, the robot manages to take advantage of Cap, and the kid decides to try to help Cap by tossing the shield back, hitting the robot. The robot blasts at the kid, destroying everything around him but somehow leaving the kid unharmed, which gives Cap the opportunity to destroy the robot. Cap looks over at the kid and gives him thumbs up, and the kid heads back inside to call the suicide prevention hotline. Story #2 deals with Ant-Man sneaking around Avengers mansion(or thinking he's sneaking around Avengers Mansion). After some sleuthing, Quicksilver approaches Ant-Man and tells him that he was vouched for by Steve Rogers, meaning he had no reason to sneak around the Mansion like a criminal. After some thought, Ant-Man leaves the Mansion and walks in the front door, being welcomed by the team. Finally we had a little 3 issue story about the Young Avengers wanting to play baseball, but realizing it was raining outside, and we all know it's IMPOSSIBLE to play baseball outside, lest the universe implodes. Man are baseball players a bunch of wimps... ANYWAY, Thor arrives and wonders why the kids were standing around with clubs(HA!), and they stammer that they were just hanging out. Finally realizing what they were up to, Thor taps his hammer and clears the storm. However, after seeing Thor, the kids decide to head back inside to train as opposed to playing around. I actually liked all three stories in this mini. Not loved, but liked. The Ant-Man one was probably my favorite, but as a HUGE Young Avengers fan, I also enjoyed their little mini-story. What more can I say, this was a perfectly acceptable comic, and what kind of score do we give perfectly acceptable comics around here? How about a 7 out of 10.

One more and we're done. I'll close this post out with another Marvel book in Uncanny X-Men #531. I don't remember if I posted a review for Uncanny #530, but I guess that's neither here nor there. This issue begins with most(if not all)of the mutants living on Crazy Mutie Island(Utopia)suffering from a strange flu that was robbing them of their powers. Lord Summers(who has also taken ill, but is no-selling it)walks along the hallways of Crazy Mutie Island looking in at all of his various sick soldiers. The few X-Men who were off of Crazy Mutie Island are told by Lord Summers they can't return to Crazy Mutie Island until they've figured out what was causing the flu, so they decide to look into the Collective Man's attempt to take over the crime gangs of San Francisco's Chinatown. From there we head to the Sublime Corporation's Secret Offices where Lobe(the leader of the Sublime group)is toasting his 5 fake X-Men. Back on Crazy Mutie Island... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............ Oh wow, I must have fallen asleep out of absolute boredom! Um, where was I? Oh who cares. This issue ends with Sebastian Shaw falling out of Fantomex's ship and powering up from impact of the fall, much to the rage of Emma Frost. Sorry, this issue was just painfully boring. I don't care about this weird rehashing of the Legacy Virus storyline. I don't care about the Sublime Corporation and the fake X-Men(if it wasn't for the dumb “No More Mutants” proclamation, we wouldn't NEED fake mutants!), and I SURE as hell don't care about Emma Frost and Sebastian Shaw! After reading Invincible Iron Man, I KNOW Matt Fraction can do better than this, but I'm now of the mindset that NO writer can really make the X-books worth reading again until Marvel FINALLY undoes the damage done during the House of M. With the Scarlet Witch's return in Avengers: The Children's Crusade, hopefully this will be the year “No More Mutants” is retconned and the X-Men are once again led by Professor X and head back to X-Mansion, where they belong. For a score, I'll go with a 3 1/2 out of 10, which is almost generous...

Bonus Best of the Rest! Dec. 11th edition.

Yes, you read this post's title correctly, this is a BONUS edition of the Best of the Rest! Since I'm mainly done with school(I am SO not sweating my Chem test on Monday)until the middle of January, I wanted to finish up most of last week's comics before I started reviewing the stuff I picked up this past Wednesday. So there you go, a quick and relatively painless(well unless you're a fan of Gen Hope...)Best of the Rest post. Onward!

I've got nothin'...
Usually before I start the reviews for one of these posts I'll post SOMETHING about me, comic books or a combination of both... Well since I just posted a BotR post yesterday, I don't have anything to add here. So why even add this? Force of habit I guess...

First up is Marvel's latest effort to a)push their younger mutants and b)shove Hope SO far down our collective throats she could probably see daylight, Generation Hope #2! The story here is that the newest young man to receive his mutant powers has gone quite mad, and not even Hope can sooth his madness... I KNOW, I'm shocked too!!! Cyclops, Rogue and Wolverine(along with those other new mutants)stand around outside wondering how Hope was doing against the new mutant. The answer? Not very well. The new mutant tosses her around for a bit before rampaging out of his apartment. Of course before going after the new mutant, who could be killing dozens of people, Chairman Summers demands that Hope is collected first. With Hope taken care of, the senor X-Men go after the new mutant, but he's too crazy and powerful to be stopped. This issue ends(comically to me)with the other new mutants standing over the fallen Hope telling her that they need her... Are you KIDDING me?! Seriously, are you kidding me?! What a joke this series has rapidly become. And only two issues in... Have you ever seen that episode of The Simpsons where Homer plays the voice of Poochie the dog? At one point Homer heads to the TV executives and gives them several ways Poochie could become a bigger star, including, “Whenever Poochie isn't onscreen, all of the other characters should be asking, 'Where's Poochie???'” THAT is exactly what this issue was like! It's bad enough that Marvel actually named the ENTIRE team after Hope, but all throughout this comic, whenever Hope wasn't around, everybody was wondering where she was, what she was up too and if she was alright! Talk about overkill... See, after having Hope presented as the end all, be all and do all for the X-Men, I now realize I hate her... It's like she can do no wrong, and everybody becomes blithering idiots whenever she's around. Yep, I think that I'll be cutting ties with this series once this first storyline concludes... Score: 3 out of 10.

Sticking with Marvel(but improving greatly)let's take a look at Captain America: Patriot #4(of 4). This issue starts with FBI agent Skinner pretty much accusing the Cap of the late 1940's, Jeff Mace, of treason. Prior to that point though, Skinner had been trying to to ruin Jeff's life, separating him from his long-time girlfriend, giving him lousy assignments(in one funny scene, Jeff, as Cap, has to tell a classroom full of students the proper way to “duck and cover”), and other go nowhere jobs. However, Jeff manages to learn that Skinner was working on a top secret government project behind the FBI's back, and threatens to reveal Skinner's duplicity to Skinner's bosses. As a compromise, Jeff resigns as Cap, and Skinner leaves Jeff and his girlfriend(FBI agent Betsy Ross)alone, promising to never pester them with his treason charges again. And that's pretty much that. Jeff and Betsy move to a small town where Jeff starts up a newspaper and the two(presumably)live happily ever after. I really liked this issue. Hell, I can go one further and say that I really liked this mini-series. Jeff Mace is one of those characters that nobody really knew much about, making him the perfect character to get a mini-series. THIS is actually what comic companies should be using a mini-series for. To give us the history of a barely known character. But going back to this issue, I enjoyed Jeff's interactions with Agent Skinner, I liked their compromise, and it was nice to see something end happily ever after for a change. Score: 8 out of 10.

Okay, that's it for Marvel this post, the next three reviews will be from the DC side of the fence, starting with Freedom Fighters #4. We start off with the Jester from the 1940's telling his grandson(the current Jester)to get revenge on the Arcadians for the death of his son/his grandson's father. The younger Jester promises to do just that before teleporting away. While that is going on, Mimic breaks Black Python loose from his restraints at the Enclave A prison facility on the orders of some guy named King Bullet(wow, what a lame name...). The two villains then cause a full on prison break, at which time the Freedom Fighters teleport blindly into the middle of the battle thanks to Phantom Lady's unpredictable powers. The prison guards attack both the prisoners and the Freedom Fighters since the prison was top secret and doing all sorts of despicable experiments on the prisoners, and as such didn't need any heroes nosing around. So after a whole mess of random fighting, this issue ends with the Freedom Fighters coming face to face with King Bullet and his group of villains, who had every intention of getting out of prison. Meh. This comic was better than the last few issues, but it still didn't do much for me. The part I enjoyed the most was with the Jester(s), and they only appeared briefly during the beginning. I WANT to like this series, but so far no good. I'm not ready to give up on this series just yet, but my patience can only last for so long... Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.

Next up is JSA All-Stars #13... I'm going to blitz through this one, because I hate the story going on here. While the All-Stars are off on some alien planet fighting an evil alien warlord, Cyclone(who is powerless)is trying to figure out why there are two clones of herself(with powers)hanging around. Oh, plus one of her classmates at school managed to give himself Cyclone's powers after doing some kind of test with her DNA. Cyclone and the other two Cyclones head back to the All-Stars headquarters to figure out what was going on when they discover... oh god... like 9 more Cyclones... And so it gets worse... That annoying robot at the All-Star's base explains that the nanites in Cyclone's DNA(huh??)created clones of her when they thought she was going to die to preserve themselves, which explains(I guess...)all of the other Cyclones. So um, the nanites in Cyclone's bloodstream hopped into the bodies of other women around Cyclone's age and made them all look identical... Whatever. Bottom line is that the Cyclones defeat Cyclone's classmate, which gives the original Cyclone her powers back(somehow). From there the robot fixes the clones(somehow...)and the rest of the All-Stars return from the alien world, blissfully unaware of this really bad story. Ugh. I hate Cyclone, so imagine my unmitigated horror at the sight of nearly one dozen of her! This was by FAR the worst storyline I've read since this series began. The best thing I can say about it? At least it's over. Score: 3 1/2 out of 10.

One more and I'm out of here... We'll end things with Secret Six #28. Much like the JSA All-Star review, this is the last part of a storyline I have ZERO interest in. As such, I'm going to go the cheap route and just hit on the main points here. The two different teams of Secret Six members(who were on opposite sides of a battle in the world of Skartaris)decide to work together to defeat the main bad guy starting all sorts of trouble in Skartaris. Eventually Black Alice(yet ANOTHER character I can't stand)swipes the powers of the bad guy and defeats him. From there the two Sixes leave Skartaris and head to Amanda Waller, who gives them all pardons and tells them she'd be interested in working with them again. The only good thing about this issue is the ending, which sees Giganta attacking and preparing to torture Dwarfstar for his role in the death of the Atom(Ryan Choi), who Giganta was interested in romantically. I know I've said it before, but I see I'll have to say it again, I am SO glad this storyline is over... Two separate teams of Secret Six members hanging out in the prehistoric-ish world of Skartaris is NOT my idea of fun. Plus whenever Black Alice ends up saving the collective bacon of the team, I always get pissed off. BUT, Giganta being told by Waller of Dwarfstar's role in Choi's death, and her subsequent reaction boosted this comic up a few points score wise. Score: 5 out of 10.

BONUS Random Scan Of The Week!???

Origins and Omens flashback, part 2.

Hey gents and gentettes, as promised, here's the second and final part of my look back at DC's “Origins and Omens” stuff from 2009. If you have NO idea what I'm going on about, then click here to be whisked away back to the magical land of Yesterday, where all of your questions will be answered... Mostly. Okay, that takes care of the intro, let's jump right into the main event.


First up today is Nightwing #153.-The top picture could be Tim dressed as Batman telling Dick that he should be filling the mantle
-Obviously that would be Dick training Damian under the watchful eye of Talia in the Cave. I don't think that exact scene played out, but hey, they were close enough
-I could see the EVIL Jason Todd Batman holding a gun to Dick's head
-I don't recall Dick making out with somebody dressed in a Batgirl/Batwoman outfit... That's a real interesting picture, because that could very well mean that DC did indeed intend on healing Barbara Gordon. Either that or Dick is swapping spit with Stephanie Brown, which would be weird on like 6 different levels.


Robin #183-Okay, we have EVIL Jason Todd Batman menacing Tim
-Tim arguing with Dick during Battle for the Cowl
-Anarky HAS been a thorn in Tim's side
-And Tim also worked with Ra's Al Ghul.
-Hey, check it out, this one was totally right!


Secret Six #6-Wonder Woman did make a guest appearance in this series
-And I guess Bane did beat up some faceless goons...
-As for the Deadshot scene? I guess that could have happened... I can't recall it though


Superman #685-Mon-El did indeed fight Atlas
-He also teamed with Guardian(and I'm guessing Nightwing?)
-He also made sure to take some time for some good old fashion lovin'
-I can't say I remember a Green Lantern who looks surprisingly like Lex Luthor battling Mon-El... Lex as a Green Lantern would be ALL kinds of awesome though.


Teen Titans #68-Let's see, Kid/Red Devil did die
-Kid Flash(and his costume)did rejoin the team
-Static did show up, albeit briefly.
-THANKFULLY Wonder Girl and the Fake Blue Beetle never made out, because I would have vomited on the comic immediately!
-I don't think anybody got pregnant
-And I also don't remember Ravager trying to poke out Wonder Girl's eye.
-Huh, this was one of the rare instances where Scar was way off with her predictions... What gives, Scar?


Titans #10-Wally West did pretty much fade away because of the overwhelming powers of That Damed Saint, Barry Allen
-Roy Harper did wind up in a hospital bed(and eventually as a one-armed junkie who would go on to stroke a dead cat in an alley...)
-I can't say that I remember Brother Blood and Raven fighting recently, although it may have just blended into one of their other many, MANY battles
-I can't place the woman kissing Beast Boy, so I don't think that happened either
-And I don't recall the scene with Donna either... Is that supposed to be Indigo? Too bad that didn't happen!
-Wow, I guess the lesson here is that Scar can't accurately predict the future of any team with the word “Titans” in it...


Vigilante #3-Wow, I actually collected this series?!
-Vigilante did fight the Teen Titans
-As well as the Titans
-He also fired his guns, so kudos for that one
-And I vaguely recall some sort of bizarre cross-dressing killings storyline, so yeah, that happened as well


Wonder Woman #29-Wonder Woman did take a swim(really, she did!)
-A few Amazons did get pregnant
-Tom Tresser did leave WW
-And Warkiller/Achilles did spear a police car
-I don't recall WW with her hands covered in blood, although that very easily could have happened.


So that's it. Our brief trip to the 2009 version of the DCU is complete. I'd say that Scar's glimpses into the future were pretty accurate, except when the word “Titans” was involved... Then it was just a crap-shoot... Hopefully you enjoyed checking out these last two posts as much as I enjoyed crafting them. Anyway, feel free to comment, as well as to ask me what I was thinking by collecting that terrible Vigilante series... *shakes head* That's it, that's all, X out.

The Best of the Rest! DC Edition...

Welcome to another installment of the X-Files... Wait, scratch that, let's try that again... Welcome to another installment of the Best of the Rest! Yeah, that's better. Sometimes the classics work the best. Unless you work for DC, and then the classics are the ONLY thing that matter! And on that inauspicious note, let me inform you all that this is going to be an all DC BotR post, so expect lots of sarcasm, angry barbs thrown towards GEOFF “SILVER AGE!!!” Johns, and almost certainly low scores. Before going through that little bit of mental anguish, first some good news!

Fishing for compliments!
So during my first(and only...)X-Files post, I mentioned that I was going to begin reading the Aquaman series from the 1990's. As of the time of this writing, I've read the first 5 issues(as well as issue #0)of the series, and so far, so VERY good! Before I go any further, allow me to state in no uncertain terms that I've NEVER been a fan of Aquaman. To me he's always been, “That guy who talks to fish and gets beat up a lot”. But being a huge fan of Peter David, I figured I'd give this series a shot, and I'm glad that I did! As is a trademark of a PAD written comic, the focus isn't only on Aquaman, but is also on the strong supporting cast that includes Aqualad/Tempest(who's been stealing the show imo)and Dolphin. So far Aquaman has lost his hand, battled a supremely arrogant 90's Superboy, complete with those awful goggles SB used to wear, and fought Lobo(!). If I had to score these first couple of issues, I'd easily give them roughly a 9 or so. They're that good! So now you know what I'll be reading later on tonight!

Okay, the preliminaries are out of the way, let's get to the reviews. First off is Secret Six #27... This issue has the two different groups of Secret Six members, Spymaster's team, which is led by Bane, and Amanda Waller's team led by Scandal Savage. Spymaster has sent her Six to conquer some alien world(I think...), while Waller has sent hers to stop the other Six. Naturally this leads to a fight, and Scandal slashes Bane's throat by accident. With her father figure bleeding out, Scandal asks everybody to stop fighting(which they do)and some native healer walks over and heals Bane. Scandal then takes her Six and quits the battle. With the other Six out of the way, Bane takes his group to invade the castle of the king of this world, but little does he know Scandal's Six has made an alliance with the king... And that's about as well as I can do with this comic... It was absolutely horrendous! I can't believe that Gail Simone wrote this travesty, because I KNOW she's a way better writer than this! What didn't I like here you ask? How about everything with the exception of the art? The story made no sense, the characters almost universally annoyed me(I am SO sick and tired of Ragdoll by this point it's not even funny!)and I don't know anything about this world these different groups of Six's are invading/helping/hanging out in. Hell, I'm still foggy as to why Bane and Scandal split up the original Secret Six to begin with! Add all of that to the fact that the absolutely worthless Black Alice is in this series and yeah, there was nothing good going on here. I hate to say it, but I'm getting the feeling that I'll dropping this series by year's end. Score: 1 out of 10.

Well, we can only go up from that last review, right? Next I'll take a look at JSA All-Stars #12. This issue is a Cyclone-centric issue, which sucks for me since I can't stand Cyclone. It seems that Cyclone's powers are gone now, so she has left the All-Stars and gone to Harvard to attend some classes. Why Harvard? I don't know, I guess because she's really smart all of a sudden. So Cyclone attends classes, and also does some experiments on her blood in an attempt to figure out why her powers were gone. Naturally, she doesn't shut down the computer when she leaves the lab, because she's actually an idiot apparently, which leads to some fellow student taking a peek at her work. Cyclone heads back to her dorm room where she bumps into... *sigh* her doppleganger. This other Cyclone still has powers, but can't remember the past six weeks. The Cyclones decide to take a walk around town(sure, why not...), where they run into the student from earlier, who seems to have developed out of control Cyclone-esque powers. While the Cyclones are deciding how to handle this problem, a third Cyclone shows up, asking what she could do to help. Yeah, so I hate Cyclone, and this issue gives us THREE Cyclones! Sheesh. Couldn't we have spotlighted ANYBODY else on this team?! Hell, why not Tomcat, Citizen Steel, Chimera, Power Girl, Stargirl or ANYBODY else!? Ugh. The best thing about this story was the fact that it ends next issue, so I only have to suffer through one more Cyclone-centric issue... I hope! Score: 6 out of 10.

Hey, it's time to take an unwanted trip back to the early 1960's as I review GEOFF “SILVER AGE!!!” Johns' Green Lantern #58. This issue starts off with Sinestro and Atrocitus searching for the avatar of rage unsuccessfully. Carol Ferris informs Hal Jordan that she intends on staying on Zamaron and taking over as Queen of the Star Sapphires, which bugs Hal since he was still trying to get in her pants. Meanwhile, the avatar of hope possesses some girl who was kidnapped by a pervert and runs around saying “All will be well”. Larfleeze tries to kill the guy from last issue that was possessed by the Predator, but is stopped by the recently arrived Hal Jordan. Hal and Larfleeze fight, but are halted when they get word from Saint Walker that the avatar of hope had chosen a host. Larfleeze and Hal head to the hope possessed girl and meet her and Saint Walker, and this issue ends with SAINT Barry Allen running over to ask Hal what was up with his recent choice in running buddies. Listen, I could care less about any comic that has the name GEOFF Johns on the cover. In my god honest opinion he has completely destroyed everything the DCU has built up over the past two decades or so. As such, reading a comic he wrote tends to turn my stomach, which naturally leads to low scores. So if you liked this issue, kudos to you. If you're a fan of GEOFF, good for you. Me? I hate everything GEOFF writes. Everything. If I wanted to read about Hal Jordan and SAINT Barry Allen, I'd pick up a few DC Chronicles trades and read about them back when they were still exciting and new. Now, whenever I see Hal or SAINT Barry, all I can think about is how screwed over Kyle Rayner and Wally West are, and I lose all ability to write an impartial review. But see, that's the best thing about this being my blog, and not having to answer to anybody, I can write whatever I want! As such, I'm only going to give this comic a score of: 5 1/2 out of 10.

Moving on, we reach Green Arrow #5. This issue begins with Green Arrow rescuing that Mary woman from the assassin, Nix. While Ollie manages to rescue Mary, he isn't able to stop Nix from gutting an innocent civilian in order to make her getaway. Ollie takes the man to the enchanted Starwood forest and dunks him into its magical waters, but instead of the man getting healed, he turns into a Black Lantern thanks to that Black Lantern Firestorm from the Brightest Day comics. Not only that, but tons of Black Lanterns suddenly pop up in the enchanted forest(including Ollie's father somehow)and attack Ollie and his buddy Galahad. Ollie runs to the magic tree with the White Lantern symbol on it and uses the tree's power to defeat the Black Lanterns. With the Black Lanterns defeated(AGAIN!!!), Ollie decides to take the fight to the woman who stole Queen Industries out from under him. Meh. I'm tired of the whole White Lantern thing, I don't care about this idiotic enchanted forest(an enchanted forest? Really? What is this, a fairy tale?!), and I was tired of the Black Lanterns SIX months ago! Besides all that, how the hell did Ollie's father pop up in the enchanted forest?! Was he buried there or something? Weird... Whatever happened to Oliver Queen, street vigilante who would walk the streets of Star City(and Seattle before that)helping citizens in need? No, now we get Green Arrow and his adventures in the Magic Forest. Next. Score: 6 out of 10.

Finally, let's take a look at Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #4. Guy Gardner, Arisia, Kilowog and that Red Lantern head to Daxam to see if they can discover whether or not Sodam Yat was alive or not. After some digging, the group learns that Sodam WAS on Daxam, but that he took a bunch of Daxamites who were worshiping him off-world in order to get them away from the widespread hatred of all things extraterrestrial on Daxam. So where is Sodam? He and his followers have landed on a new world, where Sodam has decided to forsake the Green Lantern way in order to take the Guardians to task for the fact that they were making all sorts of rules, but never bothering to see how those rules were affecting other races. Meanwhile, Guy and company finally arrive in the Unknown Sectors and are attacked by a bunch of mind controlled rookie Green Lanterns at the behest of the ultra-powerful telepath who leads the planet of Kralok. You know, this issue wasn't all that bad. I'm not sure where the Sodam Yat stuff is headed, but I AM glad that he's back to life. I still like the odd couple team of Guy, Arisia, Kilowog and that Red Lantern, and the telepathic villain in the Unknown Sector sure looks like quite the formidable threat. Add Sodam and what looks to be an eventual attack by him on the Guardians, and this series' future looks pretty bright. Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.

"Girl of my wet dreams!"?!?!? REALLY?!?!

Secret Six #26

Overall: This is the second part of a four part story pitting half the Secret Six against the other. It seems Spy Smasher has sent Bane and five other miscreants to the land of Skartaris in order to annex it for the US. The rest of the Six were sent by Amanda Waller(under the guise of Mockingbird)to halt Spy Smasher and Bane's antics. This naturally ends with the two factions battling it out with Bane refusing to fight against Scandal Savage(who he sees as a daughter), before allowing her to cut his throat.

Umm, first things first, in the Marvel Universe there is a place called the Savage Land. In it there are dinosaurs, cavemen and other things you'd expect to see back in the prehistoric days. I HATE the Savage Land with a passion. This Skartaris seems to be DC's answer to the Savage Land(although why DC believes they NEED an answer for the Savage Land is beyond me). So take what I said about the Savage Land and multiply that by ten and you have my feelings towards Skartaris. I will say that the story is vaguely interesting, with Spy Smasher and Amanda Waller playing a high stakes game of chess with the two Secret Six teams serving as their pieces, and the fight scene between the two teams was great, but Skartaris and the fact that Black Alice is STILL hanging around this series really hurt my enjoyment of this comic... A lot.

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.I sure as hell wouldn't want to mess with THAT group!