(Kind of...)The Best of the Rest! June 5th edition.

Hey hey, X popping in with a quick post.  A REALLY quick post!  So yeah, as I said in the last post, I've been staying away from the blog and just reading comics for fun again.  Crazy, no?  It's nice to have a little summer vacation again, I definitely need the time to recharge the old batteries.  Anyway, enough bellyaching from me, hows about I talk comics now?

-Age of Ultron #9 was horrible, as expected.  Two fucking Wolverines...  No thank you, one is enough!  The Wolvies and Sue told Pym about Ultron, and wanted him to put some sort of program in Ultron to prevent him from destroying the world or something equally dumb.  So yeah, sucktacular.  I'm still holding out hope that the aftermath will make this whole ugly experience worthwhile...  5 out of 10.

-X-Factor #257 was okay, I guess.  It was all about Layla Miller trying to wrangle Demon Madrox.  Spoiler: she does.  But he's still a demon.  Supposedly this series is ending soon, which sucks.  I'm sure PAD will bring the big guns as we get closer to the finale.  5 1/2 out of 10.

-All New X-Men #12.  What the hell, Bendis?  Seriously, what the hell?!  This series just keeps spiraling down the Bendis spiral of crap.  We get a lot of talking, Jean acting like a bitch, more talking, and Jean acting like a bitch some more.  You'd thing the first meeting between the O5 X-Men and the Avengers would be better, but nope.  Jean is still randomly reading minds, in this case Wanda's, which leads to her throwing a tantrum and then crying...  So basically Bendis has made me hate Jean, who was my favorite female X-Men.  Kudos, Bendis!  4 out of 10.

-Thanos Rising #3 finally gave me a good comic to read.  It showed us Thanos after he left Titan and gathered his pirates.  It also explained Nebula's creation, which was something I wondered about from as far back as the Infinity Gauntlet story.  So again, really good stuff here.  8 out of 10.

-Superior Spider-Man #11.  I know people like to dump on this series, but I'm still enjoying it.  A lot.  Spidey is tasked with making sure that Alistair Smythe is executed, and does his best to outsmart Smythe, but can't account for The Revenge of the Villains Spidey Brutalized!!  I'm definitely looking forward to the angry villains getting their hands(or wings) on Spidey next issue.  8 out of 10.

-I didn't read Ultimates #25 or Iron Man #11 or Stormwatch #21 yet, so I've got nothing to say about them.

-I have been reading a ton of back issues, and most of them are SO MUCH better than the new stuff!  I've been enjoying some Iron Man action from the mid-1980's, back when Tony was a drunk living in the gutter and Rhodey was taking care of business, Iron Man style.  I also finished off Christos Gage's Absolution series from 2009, and it was GREAT.  It was Brubaker good!  See, it's great comics like that which remind me why I love comics so much.  Anyway, I have some Maximum Carnage comics calling my name.  Until Next time, X out.

Uncanny Avengers #8AU

Huh, so Age of Ultron is still rolling along.  Too bad...  But hey, We have an AoU tie-in issue written by none other than Rick Remender!  So this HAS to be good, right?  Well, at least it should be better than Bendis's work...

Uncanny Avengers #8AU: 

Summary: This issue actually takes place in the present of Age of Ultron(after Wolverine killed Pym and screwed up the timestream), but the past of Uncanny Avengers...  Yeah, it's kind of confusing...  Basically, this issue sees Kang manipulating the Apocalypse Twins when they were still children, not the adults we saw in the last two issues of this series.  Kang has instilled in the twins the fact that humans and mutants are unable to live together in peace, and as the chosen caretakers of mutantkind, the twins had to segregate mutants from humans.  So basically, humans bad, mutants good.  That's the way Kang raised the twins.  Since he was destined to be a constant thorn in their side, Kang wants the twins to kill Colonel America(AoU's Steve Rogers).  As for the Colonel, he was meeting with the Morlocks, led by Rogue and Havok.  Uriel attacks the Colonel, but Havok intervenes, giving the Colonel time to escape.  Angered that a mutant would defend a human, Uriel ends up killing Havok, who was mainly fighting defensively.  Rogue then attacks Uriel, but winds up impaled by him.  As she is dying, she manages to absorb Uriel's memories, and tries to convince Uriel not to follow Kang's teachings.  Uriel takes pity on Rogue and goes to find a healer among the Morlocks, but before he can, his sister kills Rogue, much to Kang's approval.  With the mission to kill the Colonel a failure, Kang returns to his base with the twins and decides to punish Uriel by sending him to an anti-mutant camp to better learn the hatred of humans towards mutants.  Eimin tells Kang that she would face the same punishment her brother was getting, so Kang agrees to send her as well.  This issue concludes with Kang leading the twins through his massive trophy room of dead heroes.

Thoughts: Yep, Remender can indeed tell us a really good AoU story!  It kind of makes me wonder why Marvel lets Bendis do anything...  We got a glimpse into the Age of Ultron world, AND Remender managed to give us a deeper look at the twins, further advancing his own storyline.  What more could you want in a tie-in issue!?

Score: 9 out of 10.

Age of Ultron #8

As usual, X here, with the first review of the week.  And yes, it's going to be Age of Ultron...  Ugh.  I really have nothing nice to say about this series at this point, this storyline seems like a huge missed opportunity, but whatever.  So yeah, here's more Bendis madness.

Age of Ultron #8: 

Summary: Iron Man complains about Wolverine killing Hank Pym and wrecking the timeline.  Naturally, Wolverine defends his position, even though Iron Man repeatedly points to options Wolverine could/should have taken.  While Wolverine is being interrogated, Invisible Woman escapes from her interogation room.  The Defenders decide to get Wolvie and Sue themselves, since they wanted to...  question them?  I guess?  It's at that time, the big bad of the world attacks the Stark helicarrier, Morgan Le Fey.  Le Fey and her forces lay waste to everything in their path and this one ends with the helicarrier destroyed.

Thoughts: Hey, this issue was leaps and bounds better than the last two!  That's not saying I'm actually enjoying this storyline, I'm not.  That ship has already sailed.  But I did like the fact that Iron Man pointed out so many other options to Wolverine's plan to simply kill Pym.  Why not go to a Reed Richards, or a Prof. Xavier, or someone along those lines to deal with Pym?  I know, sense in a Bendis comic?  Madness.  The reveal of Morgan Le Fey as the chief villain with Pym gone was way more Bendis-like, because it made no sense...  Then again, Bendis did use Le Fey in one of his storylines, and we know how he hates Avengers stories that he didn't write, so I guess Le Fey's inclusion actually makes perfect sense...  Bottom line, this issue was better, but everything is still in a holding pattern, and I have no clue how Bendis fixes his mess.

Score: 7 out of 10.

Age of Ultron #7

And it's time to muddle through another issue of Age of Ultron...  Yay...  You can feel my enthusiasm, can't you?  So yeah, if I know my Bendis(and after reading his work for years now, I should say I do!), this should be an epic train wreck.  Let's get this ride over with...

Age of Ultron #7: 

Summary: Wolverine and Sue head back to the present and find out it's changed.  Naturally.  So the world seems to have just had some sort of confrontation with the Skrulls...  A Bendis favorite.  Wolvie and Sue find this out the hard way when they are attacked by the Defenders, who figure the two are really dumb Skrulls.  We get a fight and the Defenders emerge victorious.  This issue closes with Tony Stark and an army of Iron Men heading over to see what the ruckus was all about.

Thoughts: Meh.  Honestly, I think I'm past done with this whole "event" by now.  Seriously, I'm just completely uninterested.  I'm not going to bother pointing out all of the faults and stuff that made no sense, I'm not gonna put on a fake smile and act like this was a good comic.  It wasn't.  It was your typical Bendis event.  And if you've read one of those, you've read them all.  It was boring, nonsensical and splashy.  And this will be it for me.  I'm gonna see if I can hand the Age of Ultron reviewing duties to my compadre, JT.  Maybe he'll have some fun(negative or positive) with the rest of this story.  Me?  I just don't care.

Score: 5 out of 10.

Age of Ultron #6

Oh hey, check it out, it's another Age of Ultron issue!  The best thing about the expedited release schedule of this event is that it should be over really soon.  Yep, I've reached that point with this one.  Well, let's get this done and over with...

Age of Ultron #6:

Summary: Dammit, why can't JT be stuck reviewing this!?  So Wolverine and the Invisible Woman have headed back in time to kill Hank Pym before he creates Ultron, because that won't mess up the future or anything...  On top of that, Captain America, Nick Fury, Rulk, Bendis's it girl, Quake, Storm and Quicksilver have headed to the future to stop Ultron Prime's attack.  The heroes head towards Manhattan, and are immediately attacked by Ultrons.  The Ultrons tear the heroes apart, killing at the very least Cap.  Meanwhile, in the past, Wolvie confronts Pym and tells him he has to die.  The two fight and Wolvie gets the upper hand, but he is stopped by Sue, who is still undecided on whether or not to go through with this plan.  Wolvie keeps throwing her dead family and kids in her face(because he's an asshole), so Sue lets him murder Pym.  With that, the two decide to head home, figuring things would be way better now.

Thoughts: UGH!!!!  This series is so damn stupid!!!  It makes my head hurt!  First off, if the Avengers in the future really want to take out Ultron, why wouldn't they take everybody?  I mean, if THAT is your last stand, why not bring all of your forces in to play?  But that's not what's really bothering me...  How the HELL does Wolverine reason killing Pym is the way to right everything?  It doesn't take a genius to realize that by killing one of the founding member of the Avengers, you're going to mess up the timestream worse than it already is! Here's a simple example...  With no Pym, that means no Wasp.  That means the initial Avengers team will consist of Iron Man, Thor and Hulk.  Hulk leaves in issue #2.  That leaves the "team" as IM and Thor.  Two people does not a team make, so logically, they go their own ways.  At that point, there ARE no Avengers.  So then, who stops the Space Phantom?  Who stops Namor?  Who wakes Cap out of his hibernation?  Who could possibly stop Kang?  Not only that, but no Cap means there's nobody adequate to stop the Red Skull when he ends up returning...  How about a Masters of Evil led by the original Baron Zemo AND the Red Skull!  Killing Pym is just infinitely dumb...  Plus, you know, it goes against the actions of any hero worth his salt.  Frigging dumb-ass Wolverine...  Besides that, if it so easy to just go back and change time(which is what Bendis is apparently saying), why wouldn't Dr. Doom, the man who INVENTED the time platform the heroes used, head back in time and smother Sue Storm in her crib?  Or prevent his mother from making a deal with Mephisto?  Or fix it so that his machine doesn't blow up in his face?  So, so dumb...  So yeah, this issue was idiotic on SO many levels, but the next issue should be interesting...  Depending on which direction Bendis decides to go...

Score: 5 out of 10.

Age of Ultron #5

X here with the first new review of the week, the fifth issue of Age of Ultron.  Since this issue marks the halfway point in this event, we should start to see the assorted heroes plans come together.  To be honest, all I'm really hoping for is that this issue is better than last issue...  Because that last issue...  Sheesh...

Age of Ultron #5(of 10): 

Summary: The remaining heroes manage to find Nick Fury's secret Savage Land hideout and break in, at which time they find Nick Fury(that would be senior, not junior).  Fury tells everybody he was awaiting somebody to arrive so he could go through with his plans.  Those plans?  Use a time platform(that he magically acquired or something) and head to the future to take the fight to Ultron.  On the other hand, Wolverine thinks it would be more prudent to go back in time to kill Hank Pym so he would never create Ultron.  Although killing Pym would have huge repercussions if you think about his contributions to the Marvel U.  I say go back in time and kill Wolvie, thus saving ALLLL of his many victims.  Fury takes Rulk, Cap and Iron Man into the future and has the rest of the group hang back.  This issue ends with Wolverine deciding he was going back in time regardless of what anybody said to kill Pym.

Thoughts: Eh.  This series is rapidly losing me...  It really doesn't feel like an event, it feels like one of Bendis's many lackluster Avengers tales.  I don't feel the same sense of importance or dread that something like, say, Fear Itself, gave me.  Fear Itself seemed more important.  This?  With the heroes parading through time to undo mistakes?  It feels like a forgone conclusion that Ultron is going to lose(we STILL haven't seen Ultron Prime yet!), and the heroes will simply retcon everything at the end of this series.  I know Marvel keeps promising a huge shock at the end of this event, but I'm not even psyched for that.  The wheels sure fell off of this one quicker than I anticipated.

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.

Even the scan for this issue is boring!

Age of Ultron #4

X here with a single review for the night.  I'll be checking out the latest issue of the Age of Ultron, which should fill us in on the Vision reveal from last issue(hopefully).  Well, enough talk, let's get to it!

Age of Ultron #4(of 10):

Summary: This issue gets started with Vision telling Luke Cage that Ultron wasn't actually around, that he was controlling Vision(and his Ultron droids) from the future.  For spilling the beans, Vision is jolted as punishment.  She-Hulk, who was conscious the whole time, hops off of Luke's shoulders and chucks Luke out of Ultron's ship, telling him to inform the others of what he had learned.  She-Hulk is soon killed by a blast in the ear.  As for Luke, a horde of Ultron droids follow him and detonate in a nuclear explosion.  Meanwhile, Black Widow and Moon Knight learn of Nick Fury's top secret, "What to do if the world ends due to Ultron" plans...  The plans apparently say to head to the Savage Land.  Rulk kills Taskmaster and takes the Ultron tech Tasky had gotten, and also heads to the Savage Land...  For some reason...  As for the main group of heroes, they too head for the Savage Land.  Upon arriving, Cap's group is met by Ka-zar, who takes them to his village.  When they get there, Emma senses Luke Cage(really?!), and Luke mentally informs Emma of what he was told by Vision.  Luke then dies.  From there, Cap's group meets up with Widow, Moon Knight and Rulk, and they begin to talk strategy.

Thoughts: Wow, this was pretty bad!  For me, this was a HUGE step back from the last issue.  I mean, come on, She-Hulk dies from a blast to the ear, but Luke Cage survives a NUCLEAR EXPLOSION, flies from New York to the Savage Land(in a Quinjet!), and hangs on to life until Cap's group arrives?  And THEN he dies!?  I know Bendis has always had a soft spot for Luke, but this was all sorts of ridiculous.  From there, Widow and MK find Nick Fury's "In case of the end of the world!" plans, which seem to be, "Go back in time and obliterate the threat!"  If Nick dreamed up these plans, and had a way of enacting them(which it seems, or why else would Widow and MK head to the Savage Land), then why wouldn't Nick himself have done this himself years ago?!  And why the hell did Rulk head to the Savage Land??  I'll even overlook how Rulk got to the Savage Land, but why would he go there?  And if three separate groups of heroes figured to go to the Savage Land, why wouldn't Ultron be keeping an eye on that place?  Especially if he's hanging out in the future?  Yeah, I didn't like this issue at all.  I'm going to hope this was a one issue blip, and things go back to normal next issue.

Score: 4 1/2 out of 10.

If Luke Cage was blasted like that, you know he would have shrugged it off!

Age of Ultron #3

Hey there X-Maniacs, X here to start this comic week off right!  As evidenced by Monday's Best of the Rest post, I had to sift through a lot of mediocrity last week.  This week?  This week I'm hoping for BIG things!  And tonight, we'll get started with Marvel's big event, the Age of Ultron.  That's up right now.  After that, it'll be Young Avengers.  This should be a great comic reading night...  Here's hoping!

Age of Ultron #3(of 10):

Summary: Captain America has come up with a plan!  Which is a good thing, since prior to this point, all he's been doing is sitting in the corner moping.  Anyway, Cap's plan is to trade one of the heroes to Ultron, since it appears that Ultron has been bartering with criminals for heroes.  Luke Cage and She-Hulk both think they should be the one to get traded, since they were both strong and tough to kill.  In the end, Shulkie "wins"(if you can call it that...) and is knocked out by Luke, who carries her to Ultron's space ship.  Luke gets inside and is shocked to see the Vision as the apparent leader of the Ultron droids.  Besides that, Black Panther, Red Hulk and Taskmaster are stealing Ultron heads in Chicago.

Thoughts: This issue went by FAST!  I mean it took me like a minute or two to breeze through it!  And to be honest, I liked it better than the first two issues.  That's not to say that I loved it, as there were some things I didn't get, but it was, for me, a step in the right direction.  Would I have sent both Luke and Shulkie, my two remaining powerhouses, into the jaws of Ultron?  Probably not.  Do I believe for a second that Vision is the true leader of the Ultron droids?  Nope.  But I am looking forward to the next issue, and am hoping my enjoyment of this series continues to grow.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.

If you've never used "Sweet Christmas" in your everyday life, you should.

Age of Ultron #2

It's X, and I'll be kicking the week off with the second issue of Bendis written Age of Ultron.  The first issue wasn't exactly what I was hoping for, however, I am still hopeful that we'll see things pick way up with this issue.

Age of Ultron #2(of 10):

Summary: We get started in San Francisco, where we see destruction similar to last issue and Manhattan.  Black Widow(now sporting a massive scar on her face) and Moon Knight are seemingly the only heroes left out there, are working out of one of Nick Fury Sr's safe houses and intend on shoving nuclear weaponry up the metallic ass of Ultron... *shrugs* I just type what I read...  From there we head back to New York, where Spider-Man tells the gathered heroes what had happened to him while he was captured by Hammerhead and the Owl.  Hint: they taunted him a lot.  The heroes are curious as to why Ultron would need mooks like Hammerhead and Owl bringing him somebody like Spider-Man.  This issue ends with Captain America finally getting out of the corner and announcing he had a plan.

Thoughts: Yeah, nothing really happened in this comic...  We established that Ultron's attack took place in more than New York(at least Washington and San Francisco were also hit), and that Widow and Moon Knight were in San Fran.  Spidey told the heroes about Manhattan's destruction, and that he saw a figure in a cape(Ultron in a cape? Strange...) before he was felled.  And Cap got up.  If you skipped this issue, you honestly wouldn't have missed a single thing.  That's not to say this issue was bad, it wasn't, it was just unnecessary.

Score: 7 out of 10.

Get those stinking fleshbags, Ultron!!

Age of Ultron #1

It's a special Wednesday night review tonight!  X here with the first issue of Marvel's latest event, the Age of Ultron.  So a few facts before we get started.  My all-time favorite comic storyline was the Age of Apocalypse.  One of my favorite villains in all of comics is Ultron.  In theory, blending the AOA with Ultron SHOULD be a dream storyline for me...  Here's hoping that's exactly what we get here.

Age of Ultron #1(of 10): 

Summary: This issue gets started right in the thick of a decimated Manhattan, with Hawkeye killing his way through a rundown building being run by some thugs whose numbers include the Owl and Hammerhead.  After a mess of arrows through the throats of goons, Hawkeye comes across what he was looking for, Spider-Man.  Hawkeye goes to rescue Spidey, but is pinned down by Owl and Hammerhead.  To make matters worse, a battalion of Ultrons arrive on the scene and prepare to purge it of all human life.  Owl goes outside to rant to the Ultrons that they had a deal, while Hawkeye and Spidey get as far away from the building as they can.  Ultron blows the building and it's inhabitants up, while Hawkeye and Spidey use the cover to slink back to the downed SHIELD helicarrier.  Once inside the two are attacked by Luke Cage and She-Hulk, while Tony Stark analyzes them to make sure Ultron hadn't infected them with any nanites or the like.  Once the two are proven clean, Hawkeye rants about how the heroes had quit and let Ultron win.  Iron Man says that's because they didn't have a plan yet, but that their leader was coming up with one.  Their leader?  Captain America, who was sitting slumped and defeated in the corner.

Thoughts: Ehhh...  As I said in the intro, I really, REALLY want to like this storyline...  This issue was okay, but not great.  And I'm REALLY want great here.  The heroes who were here were a bunch of Bendis's favorites(Luke Cage, Spider-Man) and I can't stand the way Bendis writes those characters...  So yeah, that bugged me.  On top of that, Bendis broke out his patented inane dialogue for this one.  You know, when a bunch of characters are talking but not really saying anything at all.  I was hoping we'd get the good Bendis who has been killing it with the X-books, but instead we got the Bendis who made the Avengers books such a chore to read.  Again, I have to stress that I have very high hopes for this series, so I'm going to be a bit more nit-picky than usual.  No explanation from anybody about how Ultron won, no appearance by a main Ultron Prime, no real Ultron action at all, which was a bit of a letdown.  This was an okay start to this series, but I can't help but want better...

Score: 7 out of 10.

Since I'm not near my scanner yet, I don't have a picture ready to go...  But I WILL have one in a few hours!