Iron Man 2.0 #6 & Namor #11

We have here the last Fear Itself tie-in in my new comic pile, as well as the final issue of the pretty underwhelming Namor series... Sometimes it's tough to be a Namor fan...

Iron Man 2.0 #6:

Summary: While the denizens of the city of Hell break free and run amok in Beijing thanks to one of the Serpent's hammers breaking reality there, the Immortal Weapons(led by Iron Fist) and War Machine try to keep the carnage to a minimum. Unfortunately, while the Immortal Weapons(and War Machine) are dealing with the demons and other threats, possessed Titania is bringing the Absorbing Man to the fallen hammer so he can join her as one of the Serpent's Worthy. The Immortal Weapons and War Machine happen to come upon Titania and the Absorbing Man and attack, but find themselves unprepared for Titania's immense power. While the heroes are distracted, Absorbing Man claims his hammer and powers up, leaving two of the Serpent's Worthy to deal with the ill-prepared Immortal Weapons and War Machine. While all of that is going on, Steve Rogers calls Dr. Strange to see if he could shed some light on what was going on in Beijing, at which point Strange tells Steve that Danny Rand was the real problem... Wha?!

Thoughts: Uh-huh... So TWO of the Serpent's uber-powerful minions are destroying Beijing, and yet somehow, in Dr. Strange's bizarre little world, Iron Fist is the problem... Okay then... Honestly, I wish this series would get away from the Fear Itself stuff and go back to the Palmer Addley storyline, because this series is really being hurt by the Fear Itself crossover stuff in my opinion...

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.Look out, hungry fat guy coming through!


Namor #11:

Summary: Some big, angry sea creature called the Burrower has been set free by some crazy Atlantians who wanted to sink Crazy Mutie Island. Unfortunately for Namor, the Burrower has such a head start he'd be unable to catch it... Bad news for those crazy muties, right? Not so fast, my friend! It seems Namor's future son, as well as his current girlfriend, Abira, have arrived on the scene to tell Namor that the only way to stop the Burrower was for Abira to become Atlantis's new Logomancer, since Abira would be able to catch the Burrower with her Logomancer powers. However, if Abira becomes the Logomancer, she'd be unable to continue her relationship with Namor because of... I don't know, let's say wacky Atlantian magic and leave it at that. Oh, and to make it even more dramatic, Abira can't become the Logomancer unless Namor says some magical mumbo-jumbo to her. Realizing that if the Burrower continued... well, burrowing, it would destroy Crazy Mutie Island AND New Atlantis, Namor gives up the woman he loves(this week) and turns her into the Logomancer. Abira brings Namor to the Burrower, they defeat it and Namor manages to repair the damage done to the column holding Crazy Mutie Island up, ending this issue as well as this series.

Thoughts: Meh. That pretty much sums up my feelings towards this entire series. Instead of getting Namor acting crazy and flirting with Invisible Woman, while occasionally screaming “Imperius Rex!!!” we get Abira as Namor's romantic interest and Loa, as his resident spunky teenage girl... Terrible... It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what this series should have been all about. This issue, much like this entire series never clicked for me. So long, Namor. Better luck in your next series.

Score: 5 out of 10.Look, some random things are happening!

Uncanny X-Men #537 & Namor #10

You know I'm starting to scrape the bottom of my new comic pile when I'm stuck reviewing books like the two here... These actually may be the two Marvel comics I look the least forward to every month. If not for the fact that Namor was getting canceled soon(next issue?), I'd have dropped it from my pull list by now. As for Uncanny, it's kind of like Superman or Batman, no matter how bad it gets, I'll keep collecting out of habit. Wow, that was a really negative introduction... To make up for it, I'm going to state ONE positive about each of these comics by the end of each review. See, who says I'm too negative?

Uncanny X-Men #537:

Summary: The one armed Kruun, who Lord Summers allowed on Crazy Mutie Island in what could only be explained as a case of momentary insanity, sneaks into Colossus and Shadowcat's bedroom and hits Colossus with a dart that takes away his powers. He then forces Colossus to battle him outside, coercing Colossus by threatening Shadowcat with a knife that could cut her even in her intangible form. So Shadowcat, Colossus and Kruun head outside and Kruun forces Shadowcat to get out of her spacesuit, which was the only thing allowing her to talk, before proceeding to beat Colossus unconscious within seconds. From there he slashes Colossus's throat, telling Shadowcat that she had to find somebody to help her before Colossus bleeds to death. So Shadowcat(who can't talk remember) rushes to the security room and finds Lord Summers sitting frozen in front of the security cameras. Kruun enters the room and tells Shadowcat that he had drugged Lord Summers with something that paralyzed his body, but was allowing him to watch all of Kruun's carnage. From there Shadowcat runs to Her's bedroom, but can't seem to wake Her up. Kruun enters the room and gloats that he had drugged Her as well, leaving her in an unconscious state. Shadowcat runs outside where she discovers Wolverine meditating, but can't get his attention since his eyes were closed. Kruun, like a MORON, begins to talk to himself(?!?), which alerts Wolvie to his presence. Wolverine tells Shadowcat to go get some help, while he deals with Kruun. While Wolvie and Kruun are battling, Shadowcat heads inside and runs into Kruun's unhappy wife(?). Kruun's wife sympathizes with Shadowcat's plight, but tells Shadowcat that much like Shadowcat herself, she'd also do anything for her man, and proceeds to slash Shadowcat's throat.

Thoughts: Ugh... The only way I could have hated this issue more was if Rachel Summers and Sage were in it and it was written by Chris Claremont... This was pretty much my ultimate nightmare issue of this series. It starred the two characters I like the least out of practically EVERY mutant(Shadowcat and Colossus), it contained villains I hate(the aliens from Breakworld), and the story doesn't really make sense... I'm STILL trying to wrap my mind around the fact that the ultra paranoid Lord Summers invited Kruun and his fellow Breakworlders to live on Crazy Mutie Island... That just makes NO sense at all, consider Lord Summers dogged determination to keep mutantkind alive no matter what. For me, this was one of the worst issues of Uncanny X-Men since before Ed Brubaker's run a few years back. Okay, now as promised, here's something positive about this issue... Wolverine had some great lines and came across looking rather well here.

Score: 3 out of 10.Now if Shadowcat were to die here, I'd go back and change the score to a 9. But until then, it gets a 3.


Namor #10:

Summary: This issue begins with Namor calming down an angry sea creature by talking gibberish to it... Yeah, we're off to great start... With the royal Logomancer dead, Abira, Namor's girlfriend, receives a recording from the Logomancer, telling her that she was going to be the next in line to serve as Logomancer. Namor, suspecting his longtime enemy Krang's hand in the death of the Logomancer, decides to go after Krang in retribution. It turns out that Krang didn't order the death of the Logomancer, but that some of his angry lieutenants took it upon themselves to kill the Logomancer. The angry lieutenants then tell Krang that they were going to unleash a Burrower to destroy New Atlantis and sink Crazy Mutie Island in order to get Namor overthrown and return the Atlantians to their former warlike state. Namor confronts Krang about the Logomancer, and Krang tells Namor what was really happening, as well as offering to help Namor defeat his angry lieutenants. Namor, Krang and Loa(for some reason) all head to where the crazy lieutenants were holding the Burrower, but arrive just a bit too late to prevent the Burrower from, you guessed it, burrowing. The two rival factions of Atlantians then fight, while a future version of Namor visits Abira, telling her that she and current Namor had to save Crazy Mutie Island or... I don't know, something bad happens in the future. I stopped caring about this series like 8 issues ago, what do you want from me?!

Thoughts: I didn't like anything about this story. Plain and simple. But then I haven't liked anything about this series since pretty much the beginning, so yeah... I don't really know what else to say... With the exception of Namor, I don't like any of the characters, the story bores me to tears, it's just all bad... I mean I'm sure there are probably people out there who are enjoying this series(then again, since it's getting canned, maybe not...), but I am most definitely not one of them. Now for something positive... The artwork has been really good in this series since the start, and this issue was no different.

Score: 2 1/2 out of 10.And a glip, gloop bloop to you too, Namor.

Avengers #13 & Namor Annual #1

Hey, with this post I'm officially caught up with last week's new books! That means I have ONE whole day before I wind up buying up half the comic shop, as usual! Huzzah! In lieu of new comic reviews, I'll probably post some kind of review on Daredevil Reborn #2-4 tomorrow. Hopefully those comics will be better than the ones I've been reading lately... Speaking of which...

Avengers #13: (Fear Itself tie-in)

Summary: How do I even review this...... Hmm... Basically the Avengers(yes, ALL of them...) talk about how things led up to Fear Itself. They. All. Talk... All issue long... Everybody talks and basically gets us to the press conference the Avengers held about Stark Reliant rebuilding Asgard. We also get a few quick glimpses of the Blitzkrieg on Washington, but nobody really mentions that. And Spider-Man vomits into his mask. Twice.

Thoughts: Oh no! It's the return of the Dread Lord BENDIS!!! You know the guy... That's the comic book writer who doesn't actually bother to write a story(or writes a story that makes NO sense: see Secret Invasion), and instead just has characters stand around(or in the case of this comic, SIT around) talking... About nothing in particular... What the hell happened! For the most part, Brian Bendis has been writing pretty good stories since the end of Siege. Hell, after how good Siege was, I swore off calling him the Dread Lord BENDIS!... The first storyline in this series was remarkably good(the Kang/future stuff), making me sure the Dread Lord BENDIS! moniker was dead and buried. Sure, there were some bumps in the road(like most of the Hood/Infinity Gems storyline), but all in all, I had no major complaints. And then THIS issue came along. It was just mind-numbingly bad. I mean, you had the Red Hulk eating raw eggs, Spider-Man vomiting into his mask(twice mind you), Noh-Varr showing up out of the blue with his girlfriend(We get it. He has a girlfriend. Great.), and a panel with Luke Cage's baby crying... Which was being recorded to the Avengers verbal history for some reason... The ONLY thing that saved this comic from being a perfect 0 was the fact that we find out that Hawkeye and Spider-Woman might be/could be/are hooking up. That was the only good thing I took out of this one. If you want to see the Red Hulk eating raw eggs or Spider-Man randomly drinking a bottle of soda with a straw, THIS is the comic book you've been dreaming of! But if you're looking for a cohesive story or action, avoid this comic at ALL costs! You'll thank me later.

Score: 1 out of 10.Yes, there were at least two panels of Spidey sipping a soda...


Namor Annual #1:

Summary: Quick recap time! Steve Rogers, Namor, Dr. Nemesis, Lord Summers and Our Savior Hope are stuck in the Negative Zone. Our Savior Hope is injured and Namor has gone crazy due to being without water for so long. Oh, and Blastarr wants to kill them all. If you want to know any more then that, check out my reviews for the Steve Rogers Annual or this year's Uncanny X-Men annual. There, recap done, onto this comic. While Namor and Blastarr throw down in Blastarr's Negative Zone headquarters, Lord Summers asks Steve to get Our Savior Hope away from the battle while he tries reason with and/or blast some sense into Namor. While Steve is spiriting Our injured Savior Hope away, Dr. Nemesis is forcing some Negative Zone aliens into creating a dimensional teleporter to get himself and his comrades out of the Negative Zone at gunpoint. Once the aliens create the device, Nemesis grabs it and takes off, soon followed by the aliens, who had realized that Nemesis didn't actually have bullets in his gun. Steve manages to bandage Our Savior Hope up and she wakes up, wanting to get back into the battle... Because she's Our Savior and all. Steve nixes that idea, telling her that his first priority was to get her home in one piece, to which Our Savior Hope reluctantly agrees. Lord Summers tries to reason with Blastarr, figuring the two of them might have a shot at subduing Namor, but Blastarr refuses to listen to Lord Summers, instead continuing to try to take Namor down on his own. Nemesis arrives on the scene being chased by a giant eel-like alien, and steers the eel-like alien into Blastarr, at which point it eats Blastarr... Well that's one way to deal with him! Nemesis, not realizing Namor was temporarily insane, heads over to help him up, getting punched in the gut as a result. Lord Summers blasts Namor away and tells Nemesis to find Steve and Our Savior Hope. Nemesis rushes off to do as he was told, while Lord Summers continues blasting Namor away from him. Nemesis finds Steve and Our Savior Hope, just as Lord Summers really cuts loose with a blast, destroying most of Blastarr's headquarters, as well as bringing Lord Summers and Namor to Nemesis, Steve and Our Savior Hope... That's mighty convenient... Steve heads over to the injured Namor and tries to help him up, but ends up getting his arm broken by Namor for his troubles. By this point, Our Savior Hope has managed to duplicate Namor's powers and latches on to him. Nemesis opens the portal back to Earth, and Our Savior Hope flies Namor into the ocean, restoring his sanity and yes, you guessed it, saving everybody. From there, Nemesis, Steve and Lord Summers head through the portal, get patched up and everybody lives happily ever after... Or do they?!? This storyline ends with Blastarr blasting his way out of the eel-like alien swearing revenge on the Earth.

Thoughts: Even though I was just a BIT sarcastic here, I have to admit, I enjoyed this issue, and this entire three part storyline for that matter. Was it perfect? No, but it was good, clean fun. What can I say, I like seeing Namor go off on a rampage. Nobody does an out of control, crazed rampage like Namor does. Imperius Rex!

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.Blast you, arm-breaking Namor!

Namor #9 & Captain America #617

Namor #9:

Summary: This issue gets started with Namor and his allies having to halt a rampage at the Running of the Beasts(which is sort of like the Atlantian version of Running with the Bulls). While Namor nearly has everything in control, Krang and his army arrives to assist. Namor tells Krang that he was a wanted criminal, and Krang explains that since he didn't recognize Namor's authority as king, he didn't have to listen to Namor's edicts... Oh burn! Realizing that a battle with Krang now would prove to be costly because of all the civilians around, Namor lets the smug Krang leave. Later on, after some tests, Namor discovers that someone had drugged the Beasts, with that someone almost definitely being Krang. This fact still doesn't push Namor to attack Krang, since Krang was living in one of the poorest sections of Atlantis, and once again, Namor didn't want to put his innocent subjects in the crossfire. Besides that, Namor's current girlfriend, Abira, is still suffering the aftereffects of her recent trip to Hell, and winds up having a vision of Crazy Mutie Island being destroyed after she meets a hooded man. This issue ends with Atlantis's Logomancer being attacked and stabbed by several Atlantians, including the mysterious hooded figure from earlier.

Thoughts: Hey, you know what? I actually enjoyed this issue! Sure it took 9 issues, but I can finally point and say, “Yes, I did enjoy an issue of this series!” I'm still probably going to drop this series after the Namor Annual comes out, but at least I can look back and say that this series wasn't all bad for me!

Score: 7 out of 10.Man, Namor sure looked like a chump there...


Captain America #617:

Summary: Picking up from last issue, Bucky manages to narrowly defeat Ursa Major in the prison cage match he had been forced to take part in. After the battle Bucky passes out and is thrown back in his cell. The warden is revealed to have been aware of the illegal fighting contests the inmates had been throwing, and is fine with it, since he, much like most of the people at the prison, hated Bucky. The next day, Bucky is approached by a prison gang called the Wolf Spiders, who want to add Bucky to their group. Bucky declines, which leads to the Spider's attacking him. Bucky manages to beat them all up(because he rules), and afterwards is met by an older inmate named Alexi. Alexi tells Bucky that he used to be a member of the KGB, and that Bucky had trained him during his Winter Soldier days. Alexi tells the skeptical Bucky that he only wanted to help Bucky survive the prison, and takes Bucky out behind the prison, where he shows him the man he'd be battling for the amusement of the guards and inmates that night, a giant who was one of the Titanium Men. From there we head to Black Widow, who along with Sharon Carter is in Russia investigating the crimes Bucky was sentenced for. According to the KGB files Widow got her hands on, Bucky had supposedly gone rogue in the early 80's and killed two people, a man, as well as a woman who was caught in the crossfire. After some sneaking around and sleuthing, Widow discovers that both the “victims” were operating under false identities, and were KGB members themselves who had been sentenced to death by the KGB, meaning Bucky hadn't gone rogue and was being forced to carry out the orders of the KGB... In other words, Bucky was innocent of the crimes the Russians had convicted him of. However, before the two women can leave with their evidence, they are met by several heavily armed Russian agents. Finally we head over to Steve Rogers, who was still agonizing over whether or not he should take up the Captain America mantle again. Eventually Steve goes to Henry Peter Gyrich(!) at the Justice Department. It seems that Gyrich was the one who recommended that Bucky be extradited to Russia. Gyrich claims he made the recommendation to avoid an international incident, but Steve doesn't by it, since Gyrich has always had an ax to grind with costumed heroes. During the meeting, a costumed man speaking in Russian makes an attempt on Gyrich's life, but thanks to Steve, the assassination attempt fails. The assassin makes a break for it and is able to fly away, leaving Steve to wonder just what Gyrich had done this time to get himself targeted by the Russians.

Thoughts: I have to admit, the Bucky portion of this issue didn't really do it for me. For whatever reason, it just didn't click like almost every other issue of Captain America does. Fortunately, I thoroughly enjoyed the Black Widow/Sharon Carter and Steve Rogers portions of this story, so it all kind of balanced out. We already know that poor Bucky was framed by the Russians, now it's just a matter of Widow and Sharon getting that info out of Russia and remaining in one piece. As for the Steve Rogers parts, I've always been a closet fan of Gyrich, so it was great to see he was up to his old tricks here. I'll definitely be looking forward to seeing what kind of shady deal Gyrich made to screw Bucky over as well as get himself targeted by the Russians. All in all, this wasn't my favorite issue of this series, but it's still better than like 80% of the comics I read during any given month.

Score: 8 out of 10.Steve's a better man than me, because I wouldn't have saved Gyrich!

Quick Hits: 3/25/11

Batman: The Dark Knight #2:

Summary: Still searching for missing socialite Dawn Golden, Batman's(Bruce Wayne this time around) search brings him to the Penguin's headquarters, where he finds an amulet that belonged to Dawn. Penguin sics his goons on Bats, but we all know how well that's going to work out. Needless to say, Bats easily dispatches of the goons and chases after Penguin, who decides to run away... Um yeah, I don't see Penguin winning THAT race... While that epic race is going on, Killer Croc breaks out of police custody and begins to make his way to the Penguin's base. Bats catches up to Penguin and demands to know what he did with Dawn, while Penguin claims he knows nothing. Not believing the fowl villain(heh heh), Bats breaks Penguin's arm and leg(!!), while Alfred listens in shock from the Batcave. By this point Croc arrives on the scene and knocks the feral Batman unconscious before he can do any more damage to Penguin. The two villains take Bats to a warehouse, tie him to a chair and wire him to some explosives, because villains can't resist a good deathtrap... Eventually Bats wakes up and sees a TV sitting in front of him, with Penguin on it(from the hospital). Penguin taunts Bats a bit before he switches the video feed to Dawn, who is being tortured elsewhere. Bats becomes infuriated and Penguin tells him that the explosives were wired to Batman's heart rate, meaning if he became too upset, he'd explode. Besides that, some girl steals the Batmobile, Ragman eats a hobo and it appears the reason Bats flipped out on Penguin was because he was under the influence of Dawn's amulet. Oh, and Etrigan was there too.

Thoughts: Man did a lot happen in this issue... First off, I was hard pressed to remember what the hell happened in the last issue since it came out MONTHS ago! Once I started reading though, I found myself enjoying the story, even though it did contain my second most hated villain of all time, Penguin. So Penguin did have Dawn all along, even though we have no idea why. We also don't know why Dawn's amulet drove Bats loco, although I'm guessing that's why Jason Blood summoned Etrigan... Either that or because Ragman was on a hobo-eating rampage... To be honest, after reading this comic, if I was forced to read only one Batman book a month, this would EASILY be the one I choose. It wasn't perfect, but it was quite engaging, something all of the other Batman books currently are not.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.If Bats would have broken Penguin's neck, I would have given this comic a perfect score!


Batman Incorporated #4:

Summary: A lot of this issue dealt in flashbacks to the early crimefighting days of Batman(Bruce Wayne). Basically, Kathy Kane was a bored woman with a lot of time and money on her hands, and she decided to become the first Batwoman. She eventually hooks up with Batman, which annoys Robin(Dick Grayson) to no end. The two get quite serious before Kathy breaks it off and leaves a heartbroken Bruce behind. We learn that Kathy was apparently the daughter of “an unrepentant Nazi master criminal”(according to Grant Morrison at least), and that her evil Nazi father wanted her to marry Bruce, and then reveal that she was the daughter of “an unrepentant Nazi master criminal”. Kathy didn't want Bruce to learn this bizarre fact, which is why she breaks it off with him. Back in the present, Batman and Gaucho are being forced to fight to the death or else El Sombrero(that's right, the dreaded Hat!!!) drowns a few orphans. Bats and Gaucho do indeed fight, until Bats is able to bypass Sombrero's machinery and shut down his deathtrap. Gaucho's assistant Scorpiana ditches Sombrero, leaving him to the tender mercies of Bats and Gaucho. The current version of Batwoman is also in this issue, battling a woman who was pretending to be Kathy Kane. Oh, and for some reason there's a guy with smoke for a cape hanging out around penguins...

Thoughts: Grant Morrison literally makes my head hurt sometimes... What the HELL was the deal with the guy with the smoky cape?!? It just made no sense!!! Anyway, I actually enjoyed the flashback stuff(probably because most of it didn't come from the mind of Crazy Grant), while the stuff set in the present was as insane and incomprehensible as you'd expect a comic written by Morrison to be...

Score: 5 out of 10.Too bad this entire issue didn't just stick with flashbacks...


Namor #8:

Summary: Namor, Dr. Doom, Loa and some Atlantian woman are trying to find a way out of Hell. Doom discovers the way out, and tells Namor that if he survives the coming battle, Namor would owe Doom. With that Doom leaves and a mess of dead Atlantian kings and misfits attack Namor and the two women. Namor tells Loa to watch the Atlantian woman(who was messed up last issue by some angry Atlantian kings), while he deals with the demons. The demons beat the hell out of Namor, while the Atlantian woman has a conversation with some Atlantian kings who weren't that angry with Namor... Man, how many Atlantian kings inhabit Hell?! The good(ish) Atlantian kings restore the Atlantian woman's mind, which leads to her blasting the evil Atlantian demons with magic, buying Namor the time to get the three of them out of Hell. Now free from Hell, Namor yells at Cyclops and then sleeps with the Atlantian woman... In a bed of leaves... Under the sea......... And yeah, that's about it...

Thoughts: Umm... How am I even supposed to respond to that?! All I'm going to say is that I'll be dropping this series right after the Namor annual. By this point I don't think there's ANYTHING that can change that. This series is simply a car wreck.

Score: 3 1/2 out of 10.I don't blame Doom for walking out of this comic...

Quick Hits: 2/28/11

I am LITERALLY out of witty banter to start this post... So let's just get to the reviews then, no?

Iron Man 2.0 #1:

Summary: We get started with a seemingly innocent scene from six months ago where a woman is being rushed into the emergency room. Why did I bother mentioning this? You'll see later on. In the present, Blizzard is surprisingly getting the upper-hand on Iron Man. Before IM is frozen solid, War Machine comes over and rescues his long-time friend. The two armor-clad Avengers team up and Blizzard is taken down in a matter of moments. After the battle, Iron Man reveals that they weren't actually fighting Blizzard, but a Blizzard robot that was malfunctioning. The two shoot the breeze for a bit before War Machine heads to his new job, serving as the Iron Man for the US government. Rhodey(that would be War Machine's nickname FYI) meets with his commanding officer, General Babbage(he's been pestering Iron Man in the main IM book recently), who basically tells Rhodey that a) he hates Iron Man, and b) he wants to make Rhodey's life miserable. Babbage sends Rhodey to meet with some intelligence officers to hear about his first mission. The intelligence officers tell Rhodey that a genius named Palmer Addley had been working for the Department of Defense, cranking out ideas, weapons, etc. Eventually Palmer takes his life, and while disappointed by the loss, the DOD moves on. Two months after his death, anything Palmer had invented or upgraded for the US government shuts down and won't work anymore. On top of that, several of Palmer's top secret inventions begin showing up in the hands of terrorists. Having heard the story, and really having ZERO leads, Rhodey begins to look through the personal effects of Palmer and looks at his driver's license where we see that Palmer had checked the “organ donor” box. This issue ends with the woman from the beginning of this comic, now healthy, heading out to her garage to continue constructing a giant robot.

Thoughts: All right! I was expecting nothing from this comic going in. I mean literally nothing. I basically only picked it up on a whim and boy am I happy I did! Nick Spencer told what was pretty much the perfect opening story here. The mystery of how Palmer Addley is able to torment the government from beyond the grave had my attention throughout, the jocular dialogue between Rhodey and Tony was PERFECT, as was the more tense dialogue between Rhodey and Babbage. I mean really, there was very little for me to complain about here. I guess I could bitch about the title of this series being Iron Man 2.0 and not War Machine, but that's understandable since I'm sure Marvel figured they'd get more sales out of the Iron Man name. The ONLY thing that kept this issue from being perfect was the way Palmer offed himself... He shot himself in the head, which doesn't make sense after learning that the government had basically locked him in a room with no contact to the outside world. If he had no way out and no contact with anybody, how did he get his hands on a gun? I guess he could have created it one, but still, that bugged me a bit. Besides that one minor gripe though, everything else here was gold.

Score: 9 1/2 out of 10.Iron Man and War Machine's dialogue throughout this issue was fantastic.


Namor #6:

Summary: We start this one off with Namor fantasizing about the Invisible Woman and Emma Frost. I guess he's really into blonds. After that little dream sequence we learn that Namor is still trapped in Hell. Dr. Doom, an Atlantian warrior with a crush on Namor and Loa decide to go to Hell to rescue Namor... A weirder group of characters you will NEVER find! After some wandering, the trio find Namor, who is being tormented by demons he believed to be thirsty Atlantians. Namor only wants to sit around in self-pity, so Doom knocks him around a bit, bringing the fiery Namor back to the surface. Somewhere along the line the Atlantian warrior ends up getting possessed by a group of dead Atlantian kings, which provokes Namor to want to leave Hell to save the possessed woman.

Thoughts: Ugh... This was a whole lot of bad. This is actually one of the VERY rare comic books where I enjoyed the art WAY more than the story and dialogue. I mean Dr. Doom's dialogue here was simply atrocious. There's no other way to put it. Doom used “I” when speaking of himself as opposed to speaking in the third person as he frequently does, he kept laughing at things and he just seemed way out of character. I mean to me Doom is one of the big three villains in ALL of comics, so when he's written improperly it's pretty jarring. Besides the misadventures of Doom, the story itself just isn't interesting me in the least. The whole, “Character In Hell!” story has just been done in Wolverine, and not only that, it was done a lot better in the Wolverine series. I hate to say it, but if things don't improve in this series I can see I'll be dropping it pretty soon. That is if it doesn't get canceled first.

Score: 3 1/2 out of 10.On the other hand, Doom's dialogue was painful...


X-23 #6:

Summary: This issue begins with Mr. Sinister(!!!) blasting Gambit into unconsciousness before tearing X-23's throat out. Before Sinister can do anything else though, he transforms back into Miss Sinister(BOOOOO!!!!!!!), who immediately has X-23 brought into a secret room. X-23 wakes up strapped to a chair and Miss Sinister explains that Mr. Sinister was slowly taking control of her body, and as such she needed to move out of her body. Miss Sinister figures that X-23 was the perfect vessel for her, what with her healing factor and all, and as such has hooked X-23 up to a machine that would allow Miss Sinister to move her mind into X-23's body. The process begins and it seems to be going well for Miss Sinister... Until Mr. Sinister himself jumps out of Miss Sinister's mind and takes possession of X-23's body himself! Needless to say, Miss Sinister is infuriated at this turn of events and tries to bash X-23/Sinister's head in with a lead pipe. The shot to the head allows X-23 the opportunity to regain control of her mind momentarily and she manages to throw Sinister out of her head, which destroys the mind transferring machine. At that moment. Gambit(remember him?) sets off the self-destruct sequence in the laboratory and heads to the room holding X-23 and Miss Sinister. One of the cloned girls from last issue, Alice, frees X-23 from her bonds, which leads to Miss Sinister bashing Alice's head in with the pipe... Man, she sure likes swinging that pipe at people! X-23 confronts Miss Sinister and guts her for her actions, but is stopped by Gambit before she can kill the villain. Gambit tells X-23 that Alice wasn't dead yet, and that their first objective should be to save Alice, not take vengeance on Miss Sinister. Miss Sinister renders the point moot by escaping, much to the chagrin of X-23, who helps Gambit take Alice to a nearby hospital. This issue ends with us seeing that one of the other Alice clones had survived the explosion at the lab, was apparently possessed by Mr. Sinister and was looking after the unconscious Miss Sinister.

Thoughts: Well this issue started off on a huge high for me with the return/rebirth of Mr. Sinister, one of my favorite X-baddies. Unfortunately that jubilation was short lived since Sinister was gone soon thereafter. I can't say I liked the whole idea that Mr. Sinister's mind is running around trying to possess everybody, but at least that gives me some hope that Sinister will return someday, which the end of this issue hinted at. Besides the Mr. Sinister stuff, the story itself was solid, with X-23 managing to rid herself of Sinister's influence, wanting to kill Miss Sinister but being halted by Gambit's arrival, all while saving the clone girl. This comic was probably better then the score I'm giving it, but the loss of Sinister so early on definitely hurt my enjoyment of the story the rest of the way.

Score: 8 out of 10.If only Sinister would have stuck around...


Teen Titans #92:

Summary: Red Robin and Robin don't like each other. That gets established early on here as the two Robins, and the rest of the Teen Titans, manage to defeat the army of exploding Calculator robots in Istanbul. The Titans head into the nightclub Calculator was based out of and discover his hidden lab under the dance floor. The Titans move to apprehend Calculator but he sends MORE robots after them. While the Titans are dealing with the robots, Calculator reveals to Wonder Girl that he blamed her for the death of his son Marvin, and that he had tortured and killed Kid Eternity in retribution. Robin manages to hit the computer Calculator was using to control the robots with a batarang, shutting them down and ending their threat. Wonder Girl makes a beeline for Calculator, but is stopped before she did anything she'd regret by Red Robin. Wonder Girl tosses Calculator away from her, at which point Robin impales him(!!). It seems that the Calculator the Titans were battling was actually a robot, which surprises the Calculator robot itself since it legitimately believed itself to be the real Calculator. Wonder Girl destroys the Calculator robot as revenge for Eternity's death and all of the Teen Titans fawn over Red Robin, pissing Robin off in the process. A bit later the Teen Titans drop Robin and Red Robin off in Gotham City, where Robin tells Red Robin he was through with the Titans, since it was obvious they didn't want him on the team, they wanted Red Robin. Red Robin makes a lame attempt at telling Robin that wasn't true, but Robin sees through it and ditches Red Robin, heading back to Batman's side.

Thoughts: So wait, if Robin is out, does that mean Red Robin is back on the team again? As much as I like Tim Drake, I actually prefer Damian as the Teen Titans Robin, since he could use the extra exposure, especially away from the other members of the Bat-family. It seemed like Damian and Ravager had something brewing, but I guess that'll have to move to the back burner for now. With all that said though I'd be fine if Tim did return to the team, even if only on a part-time basis. I mean hell, Superboy has his own series and is a full-time Teen Titan, there's no reason Tim can't do the same. So that's my thoughts on the Robin situation. This comic actually didn't impress me as much as I was hoping it would. The story seemed very paint-by-numbers and rushed, and I was a bit bummed that Nicola Scott wasn't doing the art here. Scott is one of the FEW comic book artists whose work I always enjoy, and I can't help but feel Scott doing the pencils would have boosted this comic a bit for me. I mean it's not like the art was awful or anything, I just would have preferred Scott's work. The other thing that bugged me was some of the things Damian said, especially to Batman at the end of this issue... I get that Bruce is kinder and gentler since his return from the timestream, but what the hell is Damian's excuse?! Seeing him call Batman(Dick Grayson) his friend was a bit disconcerting...

Score: 7 out of 10.JT Krul MUST have been having fun with Red Robin and Superboy's dialogue here... That had to be it...

Quick Hits: 2/2/11

Hey X-Maniacs, as promised, here's a bonus Quick Hits post. Be warned though, I go over 6 comics here, 4 DC books and 2 Marvel books, and the best score out of the bunch was a VERY mediocre 6 1/2. So yeah, not exactly the best bunch of books... But hey, good or bad, let's get on with it!

Action Comics #897:

Summary: Lex, Robot Lois and one of Lex's scientists head to Arkham since he's been getting readings that one of those black spheres was in the cell of none other then the Joker. Lex meets the Joker, who naturally plays mind games first, before revealing that he did indeed have one of those spheres. Joker tells Lex that he'd allow Lex to experiment on the sphere, provided Lex expanded its size so Joker could enter it. Lex does this and Joker nearly goes in, but is taken aback by the sphere, telling Lex that if he kept abusing the sphere there could be terrible consequences. By this point the sphere has turned white and Lex storms out, deciding he'd have that room locked down. With Lex gone, the Lois Robot throws the scientist into the sphere, where he appears to die. Lex rushes back in, and Robot Lois blames Joker, who doesn't deny it. We end with Larfleeze deciding he needed to hunt down Lex.

Thoughts: Well, I did enjoy Joker's interactions with Lex, as I expected. My problem with this comic was the fact that I just didn't understand what Joker and Lex were talking about... I mean it was fun, but I'd have enjoyed it SO much more had I understood what was going on. Oh, plus I deducted 1/2 from my final score because of the Larfleeze appearance. I REALLY hate that thing.

Score: 6 out of 10.You're a weird one, Joker...


Wonder Woman #606:

Summary: That centaur thing from last issue moves in for the kill on Wonder Woman, but WW is saved by an Amazon. The centaur kills the Amazon, which puts WW into a rage, leading to her killing the centaur. From there, WW heads to the house of her friend and discovers that her friend's son was abducted by a man-bull creature. A sign for the Morrigan was also left at the scene, telling WW and her Amazons who was responsible for the abduction. WW and crew head to a rundown temple where they are attacked by an army of reanimated corpses.

Thoughts: I just can't get into this story... I just can't. I've tried and tried, but I just don't like it. Sorry, I'm sure there are some people who are enjoying JMS's WW work, but I am definitely not one of them. The story is plodding, and I just want to know why WW has turned into what she is now. Nothing else about this story really matters.

Score: 5 out of 10.Wonder Woman: Teenage Amazon sure does have a temper!


Justice Society of America #47:

Summary: Green Lantern(Alan Scott)leaves his hospital room and heads to the emerald city on the moon, hoping to heal his broken neck. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to work. Dr. Fate has captured Thunder's soul, preventing it from passing on to the afterlife, with the hope that Dr. Midnite could fix her body so she could return to it. The rest of the team mill about trying to figure out who had killed the town's mayor and Thunder, and the man responsible, Dr. Chaos, calls Mr. Terrific and tells him that he'd help Terrific reverse the disease that was stealing Terrific's intelligence, provided Terrific freed Scythe, who was responsible for all of the devastation early on in this storyline. This issue ends with Flash(Jay Garrick), Dr. Midnite and Wildcat confronting Dr. Chaos, but learning that somebody had freed Scythe.

Thoughts: Kind of like the Wonder Woman comic, I've grown real tired of this storyline. The sooner it's over, the better. I don't like Scythe, or the whole, “super-terrorist” storyline, and I don't know WHERE Dr. Chaos even came from! So far Marc Guggenheim's JSA run has REALLY disappointed me.

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.My "To do" list is nearly identical, except I have "Blackmail JT" at the bottom.


Green Arrow #8:

Summary: All sorts of people have headed to Starwood Forest to investigate it. From STAR Labs, to the JSA, to Lexcorp, to Poison Ivy. Each group of people want to see exactly what the forest is, and how it does the things it does. Meanwhile, in the forest, Green Arrow and Galahad run into Jason Blood, who reveals that he had managed to separate himself from Etrigan. Etrigan attacks the trio, but ends up getting bound by the trees in the forest. With Etrigan captured, Galahad hears some disturbance nearby and head off, finding a bunch of STAR Labs scientists studying the forest. Galahad attacks, but is confronted by Dr. Midnite and Mr. Terrific. They manage to drag Galahad out of the forest and he goes crazy, collapsing. By this time, GA arrives on the scene, scolds the JSA members and drags Galahad back into the forest. Blood decides that it wasn't right for him to separate from Etrigan, since Etrigan would have nobody keeping an eye on him and decides to try to re-bond with Etrigan. Etrigan doesn't like the idea of being stuck with Blood again, and this issue ends with the Phantom Stranger appearing before the two enemies.

Thoughts: Meh. I don't care about Galahad, GA, OR Starwood Forest. The best thing about this comic was the battle between Blood and Etrigan(who I've always been quite a fan of). Phantom Stranger? Once again, meh. This was yet another comic I just didn't seem able to get into.

Score: 5 out of 10.Um, isn't Etrigan supposed to rhyme?


Secret Avengers #9:

Summary: In order to rescue his lady love, Sharon Carter, Steve Rogers decides to meet with the man who kidnapped her, John Steele. Steele wants to exchange Carter for Shang-Chi, and Steve agrees, but naturally with a plan. Steve and Shang meet with Steele and a bunch of his Shadow Council goons, and the two sides trade, with Steve sending Shang over while Steel allows Sharon to head to Steve. With Sharon safe, the Secret Avengers burst out of a building and head towards the Council goons, while Steve attacks the much stronger Steele. Steele realizes that his numbers would eventually be overrun by the Avengers, so he reveals that he had rigged the entire building they were on top of to explode. With no choice, the Secret Avengers are forced to allow Steele to take Shang and escape. Shang winds up locked in a prison, where his father announces that he'd be absorbing Shang's lifeforce to extend his own unnatural life. This issue ends with one of the Shadow Council cannon fodder revealing that they were actually Moon Knight, who had snuck into the Council's base, giving Steve and the Secret Avengers an in.

Thoughts: This issue was okay, but I just don't like Shang-Chi... I've NEVER liked him, and I don't care about him OR his crazy father. I seem to be saying this a lot during post, but again, the sooner this storyline is over, the better!

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.You know I'm going to post the Steve Rogers fight scene in this series every time!


Namor #6:

Summary: While studying the mystical amulet worn by Loa, some demons spring out and drag Namor away. Namor wakes up in a desert and is confronted by several horrible sights, including several scorpions with skull heads, and the decapitated heads of the soldiers he led on failed attacks on the surface world. After some wandering, Namor realizes that he had been dragged into Hell by those demons, who reveal that they were the spirits of several dead Atlantian kings. Back in Atlantis, Namor's subjects, as well as Emma Frost and Dr. Nemesis are trying to figure out what happened to Namor. This issue ends with Dr. Doom strolling in, announcing that he wanted to help his old ally Namor escape from the dark realm he had been sucked into.

Thoughts: I actually liked this comic a lot. The Namor in Hell portions were much better than the parts with that annoying Emma Frost and the equally annoying Dr. Nemesis. As for Loa, I don't care about her one way or the other. My biggest gripe with this issue was the ultra vain Dr. Doom walking into Namor's throne room with the top of his head exposed... Doom ALWAYS has his head covered... ALWAYS! I've read LOADS of Fantastic Four comics(as well as other series)with Doom, and he NEVER shows his deformed head/face. Only his robots can see that, never another living being. I get that Doom didn't want to wear his cape and cowl under water, but why wasn't he wearing a full metal mask? That one little thing made me deduct a 1/2 from the final score here, because it just seemed so wrong.

Score: 6 out of 10.Why is the top of Doom's head showing?!?!?

The Best of the Rest! Jan. 11th edition.

Hey all, I think it's way past time for a new installment of the Best of the Rest! Since I've been on vacation I've had the time to do full reviews, meaning I really haven't had the need to do the abbreviated, BotR-type reviews. Well, after reading a bunch of comics last night, and realizing that I really didn't want to do full reviews for them for various reasons, I figured now was as good a time as any to do the first BotR post of 2011. There's some bad(well, mainly bad)as well as some mediocre reviews here, so yeah, I wouldn't blame you for skipping this post entirely! Anyway, before we get to the reviews, let's see what other random comic related things I can think of...

Redheads have more fun?
It seems the return of Saint Barry Allen has been affecting the DCU in more bizarre ways than I could have ever imagined... First things first, in case you're new around here, I HATE Saint Barry Allen. I mean I hate him as much as a(somewhat)sane human being can hate a fictional character. Trust me, if I simply didn't like Saint Barry, I'd say “I don't like him.” Instead, I'm using the word HATE here. I hate the character, I hate the way his return was explained(he wasn't really dead, just running for years), I hate what his return did the the newer members of the Flash comics(Capt. Boomerang II, dead. Inertia/Kid Zoom, dead. Zoom, de-powered.), and most of all, I hate the way Wally West(the former and rightful Flash)has been treated. So there, we've established that I hate Saint Barry, and why. But it seems that the Saint Barry affect isn't going to stop there... No, the return of Saint Barry also seems to be having a rather bizarre and unexpected influence on one of(if not my favorite)DC character, Bart Allen/Kid Flash/Impulse. It seems that in an attempt to show us that Wally West NEVER HAPPENED, Bart is slowly BECOMING Wally! It's sort of like something out of a bad science-fiction movie... First things first, here's a pic of Bart as Impulse:Next, here's one of Bart as Kid Flash before he died:Next up, here's a shot of Bart after he was aged and took over the Flash mantle:Finally, here's Bart as he's been looking lately in the most recent issue of Superboy:What is up with Bart's suddenly red hair?! I mean seriously? And it's not like this was a snafu only taking place in Superboy... No, since his return to life, Bart's hair really HAS turned red! Which other speedster and former Kid Flash also has red hair? WALLY WEST!!! Yep, my guess is that DC is slowly turning Bart INTO a younger version of Wally, so that they can simply strike Wally from the DCU altogether, thus cementing the evil Saint Barry Allen as the one and only Flash... Well besides Jay Garrick, but really, who counts him? Madness you say? Ha. We'll see... Remember you read this two years from now when Wally West is nothing more than a faded memory, Saint Barry is still fighting the same old rogues, and Bart is acting EXACTLY like Wally circa 1965...

DC: Deception Comics?
Hey, since I'm already in attack mode, I might as well keep attacking, no? A few months back, DC came out and said that they were going to lower the price of all of their standard comic books back to $2.99 from $3.99. They did state that over-sized comics and a few mini-series would still be placed at $3.99, but for the most part, DC fans rejoiced. Right after the announcement was made, DC began putting the $2.99 price in the upper left-hand corner of each comic(in larger font then before), instead of hiding the price down by the bar code, which is a tactic that both DC and Marvel had been using(and Marvel still uses with all of their books to this day). When you buy as many comics as I do, you tend to notice these little things. Anyway, this past Wednesday I picked up the first issue of the Weird Worlds mini-series and immediately noticed that the price wasn't in the upper left-hand corner like it was all of my other DC books. After a closer look, I realized that this was one of DC's $3.99 priced comics, and that low and behold, the price was hidden back by the bar code. Now this might not seem like much, but it really annoyed me... I mean, DC received a lot of positive press(and deservedly so)for reducing the price of many of their comics, and DC themselves made sure to put the $2.99 price tag RIGHT at the top of the book so there was no missing it. But to basically hide the price of the $3.99 comics, while proudly displaying the $2.99 price just seems like an underhanded move to me... Either put ALL of your prices in the top left hand corner, or put them ALL hidden at the bottom. Going both ways, in my opinion at least, makes it seem as if DC is trying to trick consumers into buying the more expensive comics, figuring(incorrectly)that ALL of DC's comics are priced at $2.99 now. So while DC should be lauded for putting an overwhelming majority of their comic books at $2.99, they also deserve to be scolded for trying to pull a fast one by playing “Hide the Price” with their $3.99 books.

Enough ranting, let's get this party started! First up is Widowmaker #2, which stars Black Widow, Hawkeye and Mockingbird, meaning I SHOULD love it... This issue opens with the Supreme Soviets(think the Russian Avengers)fighting Widow, Hawkeye and Mockingbird, since they believe that Hawkeye is the leader of a Japanese crime organization. Why would they believe that? Because the leader of the evil Japanese society is named Ronin, a name Hawkeye used up until recently. Eventually the heroes defeat the Russians, but get separated in the process. Mockingbird winds up with Dominick Fortune(who came by to help Mock out), while Widow and Hawkeye get away together. Widow manages to save a Russian diplomat from the evil Japanese crime organization after a phone call to Steve Rogers, and this issue ends with the real Ronin looking at pictures of Black Widow and Mockingbird, who he had marked for death. Ugh. I didn't like this comic much at all. Actually, the only thing it really had going for it was the three main characters. I don't get the story, other then the whole, “Evil Ronin is killing spies.” thing, which might just be all you need to know about this mini. I'd kind of like a bit more to the story than that, but maybe that'll come next issue. I mean it has to come soon, there are only two issues left! Score-wise, I'll go with a 5 out of 10.

Next up is Vampire Superman #706... Oh wait, that's actually Superman #706, but seriously, what is up with Superman on this cover?!Weird. Anyway, the story in this comic is ALLLLL about Perry White, editor extraordinaire of the Daily Planet. Basically some political blog has been eating into the Planet's readership, and the blog is promising to reveal a photo of Superman getting busy with Lois Lane. Upon learning this, Perry sends a young Planet photographer(thankfully not Jimmy Olsen)to infiltrate the blog while he tries to verify the photo. He calls Lois, who denies that she's ever been anything less than professional with Supes(HA!), and Supes himself takes time off from his stroll across America to fly over to the Daily Planet building to tell Perry that he would NEVER have relations with that woman. In the end, the photographer brings back evidence that the photo the blog had was simply a Photoshop job, and Perry offers the head of the blog the chance to work for the Planet... Zuh-huh?! What was this all about?! I mean yeah, I've been very vocal in my displeasure with the whole, “Supes walks around the country for some reason” story, but I'd rather read about that then the adventures of Perry White! If you're a fan of Perry White then this was the issue of Superman for you. Then again, if you're a fan of Perry White, you probably already brought and read this comic already. Oh well, for those of us who aren't obsessed with Perry this was a very skippable issue of Supes, one which I'll score 5 1/2 out of 10.

Moving back to Marvel it's time to check out Invincible Iron Man #33, or as the folks at Marvel call it, “The issue before Iron Man #500!” Only at Marvel do they count 31, 32, 33, 500... Anyway, I'm going to really fly through this review, but for a very good reason... Tony Stark(with some help from Maria Hill)manages to shut down the Detroit Steel drones that were trying to kill him. This angers the Hammer girls, who want Detroit Steel to kill Stark anyway. General Babbage, who is an ally of the Hammer girls, tells them to call off the attack, since he didn't want Steel to be seen murdering Stark, which the women reluctantly agree to do. However, they do get Babbage to release Ezekiel Stane from US custody, after which time they send Stane to their other ally, the Mandarin. See, this was a 9(!)part storyline that I began reading at about part 4 or 5... So there was A LOT about this story that I didn't fully grasp. But that's really no fault of Matt Fraction, who seems to have a definite idea of where he wants this series to go. So while this story left me REALLY confused at times, the future looks good. Now I know the Hammer girls are in cahoots with a US general, as well as the Mandarin, and that the Mandarin has Stane working for him. So I'll be looking forward to the start of this next storyline, which I'll be reading from the start. As for a score, I'll go with a 6 1/2 out of 10, which is basically for the stuff that I did understand, as well as the promise for the future.

Sticking with the House of Ideas, here's Namor #5! Hey, check it out, this series actually made it 5 issues! With the way Marvel cancels books, that's almost cause for celebration! Now if Namor makes it to a seventh issue, I'll be gobsmacked! This issue took a look at Namor through the years. We start pre-WWII where Namor would occasionally attack the surface world because it seemed like the thing to do. I mean when you live under the sea and only have that one green speedo, what else do you have to do for amusement? Fast forward to the middle of WWII where Namor had become an American hero due to his opposition of the Axis forces. Besides being respected and not attacking the surface anymore, Namor has also started dating a surface woman named Betty. Moving past WWII, Betty has become upset with Namor's frequent absences, and confronts Namor about it. Namor basically blows her off, and gets a tongue-lashing from Betty's friend, Alice. From there we move all the way up to four years ago where young X-Man Loa and her father are being assaulted by some petty criminal who could control sharks. Loa's mutant powers manifest for the first time and she manages to kill a shark, but is nearly eaten by another one. Namor saves the girl and her father from the sharks and tosses the criminal back to the shore, where Namor spots an elderly Alice. Alice introduces Loa as her granddaughter, and reveals that she had lost contact with Betty years ago and that Betty had left a necklace that Namor had given Betty to Alice. Alice offers to return the necklace, but Namor insists that Alice keeps it before leaving. We then head back three weeks ago where Loa is at the funeral of Alice. Alice leaves the Namor-necklace to Loa and soon thereafter she realizes that the necklace allows her to breathe underwater. This issue ends with Loa swimming to New Atlantis where she is welcomed by Namor. Hey, I actually liked this issue. Due to my extensive Fantastic Four comic collection, I would count myself as a fan of Namor. I personally like crazy, surface-dweller bashing Namor to kinder, gentler King Namor, which is why I enjoyed this issue. You kind of got both sides of the Namor coin. There was crazy, jerky Namor and calmer, mature Namor. So however you like your Namor, you got a taste of it here! For a score, let's go with a 7 out of 10.

Let's finish this post up by looking at the What If Venom possessed Deadpool story that ran through this years What If? comics. Basically Marvel broke this story into four parts and put a part in the back of the four What If? comics, I'd guess with the hopes that fans would buy all of the What If? books in order to get the full Deadpool/Venom story. This story gets started back in the mid 1980's with Galactus hiring Deadpool to destroy the Beyonder with a gun that would wipe the Beyonder from continuity. DP goes to do the deed, but becomes enamored by the Beyonder and decides to hang out with him instead. Eventually, Spidey(back when he was the host for the Venom symbiote)tries to attack the Beyonder and DP, but loses and gets separated from the symbiote, which merges with DP, as dreadlocks... Time passes and the Beyonder gets tired of hanging out with DP and ditches him, which leads to DP wanting to shoot the Beyonder with the retcon gun. DP also ditches the symbiote dreadlocks(but seems to keep the symbiote itself somehow), and the dreadlocks become his mortal enemy, Carnage. The Beyonder and Carnage hook up and Carnage gets pregnant, which bums out DP. Moving forward, Galactus comes to Earth and announces that he had impregnated Carnage, which leads to the Beyonder and Galactus fighting and destroying the Earth. With the Earth gone, DP uses the retcon gun on both the Beyonder and Galactus, getting rid of them both, while returning the Earth. With his foe the Beyonder gone, DP becomes depressed and decides to use the retcon gun on the entire universe, ending this story... Now THIS was a train wreck! I mean, needless to say, this story was supposed to be funny, but MAN did Rick Remender miss the mark for me... I didn't find the story funny in the least, and with no humor there was just the story, which was, as you could probably tell from my write-up for it, REALLY bad. An unfunny comedy, coupled with a bad story gets a 1 out of 10 score from me. Comedy is a very subjective thing, so maybe you'd like this story. Me, I couldn't have liked it less.

The Best of the Rest! November 27th edition.

Hey all, hopefully you're enjoying some sort of Thanksgiving break. I know I am! Since I am officially on Thanksgiving break, I can devote some more time to posting to this here blog. And as such, here's yet another Best of the Rest! This week's BotR is a bit of a mixed bag, with a few Marvel and DC books, some good and some horrible. So let's get this party started!!!

Help me, I'm drowning!
So during my last BotR post I mentioned how much I was enjoying the Aquaman series I had started reading a week ago. What a difference a week makes! These past couple of issues have been bad. I'd almost go so far as to say REALLY bad! See, when I think Aquaman I think underwater. Makes sense, no? And yet for some reason the storyline I'm currently moving through involves an alien invasion. In an Aquaman comic book. Yuh-huh... The series still has Peter David's at times laugh out loud moments, but I can't wait for this storyline to end!

Okay, with the preliminary blabbing out of the way, we head to the main event, the comic books! First up is Osborn #1. We detail the case of the incarcerated Norman Osborn, who has yet to be formally charged for his meltdown during the Siege of Asgard. A few Senators are debating whether he should be charged in a regular court, or whether he should be handed over to the military. However the Senators are afraid that Osborn will get off on an insanity plea, so they decide to lock him away in some sort of ultra-top secret prison. However, it appears that one of the Senators is a fan/disciple of Osborn, and that the priest who is working at the top secret prison is also an Osborn groupie. Well, after reading this comic I can gladly state that I won't be picking up the rest of this series. I didn't really know what to expect going in, but this wasn't it. It wasn't a terrible story, but it just didn't interest me in the least. I just can't rationalize paying $4 for a comic that didn't hook me. Score: 5 out of 10.

Let's switch gears a bit and head over to DC to check out Batman: Streets of Gotham #17. This issue begins with Harley Quinn wandering around in a daze committing crimes. After she's finished, she returns to her base and is accosted by Catwoman. The two women begin to fight, and Batman shows up and knocks Harley out cold. At first Catwoman believes Batman is Dick Grayson, but Bats reveals that he was actually Bruce Wayne, and the two share a kiss. From there Bruce tells CW that there have been other cases like this, where a person would be bitten by weird little bugs, which would then mind control the person. From there we head to Hush, who was kidnapped by an old mobster last issue who had a score to settle with Bruce Wayne. Before the mobster can kill Hush, he beats up the old mobster's goons and swipes the gun from the mobster, revealing that he isn't Bruce Wayne, and that he wanted to work with the mobster in getting at Bruce. This was a weird one. I don't know what the HELL was going on in that first half of this comic with the bugs and Harley... That was pretty weird. It did lead to a kiss between Selina and Bruce, so that was nice and all, but still, what was up with the bugs?! As for the Hush stuff, it had Hush in it, so naturally I loved it! Score: 8 out of 10.

Let's take a look at Superman #705 since that's what's next on my hit list. So this is written by J. Michael Straczynski and has Superman STILL wandering the country aimlessly. This time Supes is strolling through Mt. Prospect, Illinois. Supes is distressed by the fact that the people seem afraid to see him due to the fight he had with the Hulk Hogan-impostor two issues back. Later on, Supes heads to a hotel with Lois and has a nightmare where one of the women from earlier is scolding him and he's being beaten up by a giant creature. When Supes wakes up, he discovers that all of the wounds from the dream hadn't gone away. From there the story branches out to a boy who was being abused by his father preparing to see Supes walk by his home. The kids father smacks him around and tosses him into the basement, where the kid calls to Superman to help him. Supes hears the kid and rescues him and his mother from the abusive father, taking them to the police and then cutting a promo(right at the “camera”)about always reporting instances of abuse. Wow, that was pretty weird... I hated the beginning of this comic, I mean really, how ungrateful ARE the people in the DCU? How many times has Supes saved their collective bacon? If the man wants to walk through your town, grin and bear it! I thought the story with the abused kid was pretty well done though. Supes walking by the kid's house and then saving him was a nice touch, and the pacing for that scene was nicely done. However, the end kind of made me laugh, which I'm SURE wasn't JMS's intention... Or at least I hope it wasn't... I mean what was up with Supes literally looking RIGHT at the “camera” and doing a public service announcement?! That as just bizarre... Overall though, I did enjoy this one, and as such, I'll give it a: Score: 8 out of 10.

It's time to head back to Marvel as we check out the latest issue of Marvel's favorite Atlantian, Namorita! Oh wait, it's actually Namor #4... Bleh. While Namor is fighting his grandfather(who happens to be a vampire)in a secret temple underneath Vampire City, Namor's forces are being trounced by the vampires above the temple. Loa(one of the younger X-Men)and an Atlantian magician arrive at Vampire City and the magician casts a spell that weakens the vampires. Oh, and for some reason, Loa can breath underwater now. *shrugs* Meanwhile, Namor defeats his grandfather and casts a spell on the old vampire(there's a lot of spellcasting going on here...)which kills most of the vampires in Vampire City. Wanting this storyline over with(and who could blame him)Namor emerges from the temple and tells the surviving vampires that he's making their city a part of Atlantis, and as such he doesn't want any trouble from them. That's pretty much the end of this one. Yeah, I didn't really enjoy this one. I don't care for Loa(Marvel has killed off countless young mutants, and yet SHE survives?!), I could see the outcome of the battle between Namor and his grandfather coming since LAST issue and the resolution of the vampire trouble kind of bothered me... I mean really, Namor tells the vampires to knock it off and then leaves? Um, they're vampires! How do you just leave them alone! They make notoriously bad subjects! Oh well, hopefully things pick up next issue. Score: 3 out of 10.

Wheee, now we hop back to DC with Outsiders #34. Man, it's been awhile since I read the last issue of this series... I have NO idea what's going on! Apparently Achilles has marched into Markovia and razed a village in order to gain the attention of Markovia's king, Geo-Force. Geo-Force and his lackey Eradicator confront Achilles, which leads to Achilles punching Eradicator right out of this comic! Seriously, he never showed up again! Achilles and Geo-Force then fight for the better part of this comic, with Achilles revealing that he was attacking Markovia because he thought Geo-Force was a conquest hungry dictator. Geo-Force refutes that claim, stating that Markovia was always being invaded, not the other way around. Geo-Force then proceeds to drop a building on Achilles. Achilles climbs out from under the building and decides he doesn't want to fight anymore since the building falling on him cleared his head and convinced him that Geo-Force was telling the truth(huh?!). To make up for destroying a village and killing loads of Markovians, Achilles pledges himself and his forces to a very confused Geo-Force. There was also a back story involving Metamorpho and his father-in-law, but since I don't like Metamorpho, I'm going to ignore all of that, as is my prerogative. What's there to really say about this one? The fight between Geo-Force and Achilles was fun, but the ending was a huge cop-out. Achilles quits the battle because... well, I'm not really sure why he quit fighting. Because a house falling on his head brought him to his senses or something... Meh, that didn't really work for me. Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.

One more and I can wrap this post up and send it to bed. Our final review of the post? Invincible Iron Man #32. Last issue the Hammer girls sent the Detroit Steel drones to attack Tony Stark's grand unveiling of his new repulsor powered car. Tony hops into his Iron Man armor, while Rescue and War Machine also arrive on the scene to come to Tony's aid. The Hammer's up the stakes by sending Detroit Steel himself to attack Tony, while Tony's support staff work to figure out a way to block the satellites that were controlling the Steel drones. Tony eventually realizes that the drones were keyed in on his repulsor technology, so War Machine and Rescue power down their armor, which leads to all of the drones, as well as Steel going after Tony, while Tony's staff works to kill the signal controlling the drones before the overwhelming odds kill their boss. This was the EIGHTH part of this storyline, with the next issue closing the storyline out. I think I started reading this series at around part three of the storyline, so there were a few story elements that I just didn't get. So while I've enjoyed this story for the most part, I'll be happy when it ends, so I can follow the next storyline right from the start. Score: 7 out of 10.

The Random Scan of the Week!Man, you know you're in trouble when your villain knows about your caption boxes!

X-Files Week #1

Hey X-Maniacs, welcome to the first installment of the X-Files! What is the X-Files? Well, it's basically just me reviewing a bunch of comics in the same post with some random commentary tossed in for good measure, ending with a random comic scan. In other words, it's pretty much the exact same as my Best of the Rest post, but with a snazzier name. Ideally I'll try to get one of these X-Files posts up once a week, say every Sunday, but we all know this isn't an ideal world, so I'll play it by ear. If I have time(and find myself bored enough!)I'll do one of these posts. If not, well then obviously I won't! So that's the long and the short of it. Without further ado, let's get started.

Something smells fishy...
So as I mentioned last week, I finished reading the Kyle Rayner Green Lantern years(or as GEOFF Johns calls them, “The Years That Don't Matter”). That means I can finally begin reading one of the MANY other piles of comic book back issues I have lying around my bedroom. After some thought, I'm going to start reading the Aquaman series from the 1990's. I don't know much about this run other than the fact that Aquaman's hand falls off and Peter David is the writer early on. That second fact is pretty much the reason I brought that series, as I am(and always have been)an unabashed fan of PAD. As I make my trek through those Aquaman books, I'll try to mention on the blog how the series is progressing and what I like/dislike about it.

JMS, we hardly knew ye...
Earlier this week, my good friend(and known super-genius)JT informed me that J. Michael Straczynski was leaving the Wonder Woman and Superman books after only 4 months or so of being the regular writer. It seems the Superman: Earth One(written by JMS)sales were so impressive, DC wants to try to capitalize on things, and as such have shunted JMS away from the monthly books in favor of him creating the second volume of Supes: Earth One. In other words, JMS isn't able to write Supes: Earth One #2, Superman and Wonder Woman at the same time, so he's going to take the job that'll net DC(and himself)the most money/acclaim. To that I say; fair enough. I picked up the Superman: Earth One hardcover and I'll admit, I did like it. I didn't love it, but for the most part, it was a good read. It took the Superman mythos and gave them a bit of a twist. I personally didn't care for the twist, but to each his own. While I liked JMS's Superman: Earth One, I haven't liked his take on the main Superman book. Superman fighting crazed world conquering aliens? Good. Supes matching wits with the diabolical Lex Luthor? Very good. Superman aimlessly wandering across the United States? Um, not so good. I guess JMS has some kind of end plan for the whole, “I'm Superman and I'm going to walk across the country for some reason!” story, but I just found the whole thing to be boring and uninteresting. JMS's WW run left me with more conflicted feelings though. On one hand, I hate the fact that he felt the need to reboot Diana. I mean it's Wonder Woman for crying out loud! One of DC's vanguards. You don't need to reboot her in such a drastic fashion. Once you get over the initial shock of the WW reboot though, there's a pretty interesting story going on in the WW series. So JMS off of Superman is a plus in my eyes, while him leaving WW is more of a mixed package. With JMS leaving these titles, some other writers will finish his stories using his notes/plots, which unfortunately means we'll probably have a good 8 more issues of Superman walking across America, but at least when JMS's Superman plot is done, another writer can move in and give us what we want in a Superman comic... Superman acting Super!

Whew, okay, that takes care of the news portion of this post, let's get to the reviews! Well speak of the devil! I'm going to start things of with JMS's Wonder Woman #604! This issue gives us the confrontation between Wonder Woman and the guy who killed her mother and stole the magic lasso... um, Evil Army Guy? I don't think he was ever called anything other than colonel, so I'll stick with Evil Army Guy, or EAG for short. EAG gives his origin story, since that's what bad guys do when you first meet them, explaining that he was an evil army guy, his evil antics caught up to him, he was nearly killed, but was saved by a goddess, who told him to kill all of the Amazons. So with that pesky origin out of the way, EAG and WW fight. And fight. And fight some more. Eventually they both fall into some magic flames, where Wonder Woman's dead mother was apparently hanging out... Well that's kind of weird. WW's dead mother tells WW to leave EAG to her, and she proceeds to kill EAG as revenge for EAG killing her a few issues back. WW's dead mother knocks WW out of the flames and WW passes out for a while. When she wakes up, all that remains is the magic lasso, which she takes, as she decides to hunt for whatever was behind EAG and his slaughtering of the Amazons. Well, I was enjoying this issue right up until WW's dead mother showed up. EAG's origin was okay, and added some further intrigue into why the Amazons were being hunted, and the battle between WW and EAG was nicely done. But WW's dead mother suddenly popping out of those magic flames? Nope, that didn't work for me! She was dead... Why was she in those flames? And a better question, how did she, a dead woman, manage to kill EAG?! Weird... Score: 6 out of 10.

Next we go to the Marvel Universe and check out Captain America: Forever Allies #4, which is the final issue of this mini-series. Basically, Bucky Cap has been chasing down one of his old enemies from WWII, Lady Locus. Locus(who has demonstrated telepathic and telekinetic skills)has been traveling the Earth in search of a gem that would amplify her telepathic abilities to the nth degree, allowing her to take over the Earth, or steal candy from babies or kick puppies, or some similar nefarious plot device. Locus manages to track the gem down to a temple in the Andes, but is followed by Bucky. Locus spots Bucky arriving and enslaves him mentally, forcing Bucky to traverse through the temple, defeating its traps and collecting the gem for her... Or so she thinks. It turns out that after his Winter Soldier days, Bucky went to SHIELD and had them rig his mind so that it could no longer be controlled by outside sources. Bucky smashes the gem before Locus can get her hands on it, fits her with a psi-damper and turns her over to Black Widow and the Falcon, who were en route in case Bucky actually did fall under Locus's mental domination. With Locus caught, Bucky can put that piece of WWII behind him, ending this mini-series. This issue was good, but not great. I found myself enjoying the flashback portions of this comic, back when Bucky was the leader of the Young Allies during WWII a bit more than the main story. Lady Locus was a good threat, but once Black Widow began trying to explain the history of the power gem Locus was after(it had something to do with the Deviants and Eternals), I was taken out of the story. I've just never had any interest in the Deviants/Eternals, and bringing them into this story just sapped me of my interest. Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.

Sticking with Marvel, here's Namor: The First Mutant #3. Namor has had enough of those infernal aqua-vampires and meets up with an Atlantian sorcerer, who gives Namor a spell that would kill off most of the aqua-vamps. Unfortunately for Namor he has to preform the spell in the middle of the aqua-vamps hidden city. Oh yeah, plus the spell only works if an Atlantian king drains all of their blood upon the conclusion of the spell, meaning that in order to rid the aqua-vamp menace from his people, Namor has to sacrifice his own life. Namor is fine with the whole noble sacrifice thing, and takes some Atlantian soldiers and invades the aqua-vampire city. While his soldiers engage the aqua-vamps, Namor and a young soldier head beneath the aqua-vamp's city to begin the ritual. As the ritual nears its end, Namor informs the soldier that she'll have to complete the spell, since Namor has to kill himself to finish the ritual. The soldier doesn't want to do it, but Namor tries to tell her that his life would be worth ending the menace of the aqua-vamps. Before the soldier can complete the spell, Namor's grandfather, who happens to be a very big, very angry aqua-vampire strolls over for what I'm guessing won't be a very pleasant family reunion. I found the first half of this comic to be kind of boring. It was basically Namor getting his forces together while speaking cryptically with the royal sorcerer. Once Namor's forces arrived at the hidden aqua-vamp city though, things definitely picked up, with the cliffhanger leaving me very interested in getting my hands on the next issue. Score: 7 out of 10.

Next up is I Am An Avenger #3(of 5). Yes, there is a mini-series called I Am An Avenger. Anyway, this mini contains two mini-stories as well as a two page Stingray and a one page Hulk tale. I'm going to skip those last two stories, so to the 2 Stingray fans out there, I apologize in advance. The first story deals with Nova helping Spider-Man deal with some aliens who had broken into a New York City bank to steal an alien artifact that some billionaire collector had mistaken for an ancient vase. This story was written by the team of Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning, and had Spidey and Nova in it, so it should go without saying that I really enjoyed it. The other story dealt with Justice and Firestar fighting their younger selves, who were sent into the present by Loki for some reason or another. The younger Justice and Firestar figure that the current Justice and Firestar were evil dopplegangers created by Loki, but by the end of this story, the Justices and Firestars have figured out what Loki had done and have resolved to deal with Loki together. I actually liked this comic more than I thought I would have. I'm a sucker for Nova, and I've always loved his dynamic with Spidey, and the Firestar/Justice story is also beginning to grow on me. The one page Hulk story was kind of funny, while the Stingray story didn't do a thing for me, mainly because Stingray was in it... But all in all, this was some pretty good stuff. Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.

One more comic before I end this post. We'll finish things up with a look at Avengers: Prime #4(of 5). Things start off with Hela attacking the Enchantress, since the Enchantress betrayed Hela last issue and assisted Thor. Hela handily defeats Enchantress and heads over to Thor's hammer, which was left behind when Enchantress teleported Thor to safety. Hela tries to lift the hammer thinking that Thor might have been dead, but is angered to learn that she couldn't pick up Mjolnir. To rectify this, Hela summons Thor's grandfather and tells him that Thor was dead, and that if he lifts the hammer for her, she'd return him to life. Thor's grandfather tries to lift the hammer, but can't, which leads him to believe that Thor was still alive and that Hela was lying to him. Thor's grandfather goes to attack Hela, but she banishes him back to the underworld. Meanwhile, Thor, Iron Man and Steve Rogers are trying to figure out where they are. At first Thor feels that they have all died and were in the afterlife, but later on he begins to believe that the fall of Asgard during Siege has screwed up the nine realms, and that is what was going on. Regardless of what was going on, Thor begins to rally several different creatures to his side, since he knows that all roads lead to Hela, and that last time they battled, she defeated him with ease. Back with Hela, she is attacked once more by the Enchantress, but Hela puts her down again, this time with the mystical Twilight Sword. Meh. My Norse mythology/knowledge of Thor is kind of rusty, so I'm not really sure what the importance of Hela holding the Twilight Sword is. This issue was okay, although I did find myself enjoying it a bit less than I enjoyed the first few issues. The story kind of dragged here, with the heroes not really doing much, and some of the dialogue irked me, especially Tony Stark, who couldn't seem to stop talking... Overall though, this wasn't that bad of a comic, but it was definitely a step down from the great last issue. Score: 6 out of 10.

Until next week, here's Arsenal, back when he still had a daughter, had kicked his drug habit and two arms!