Throwback Tuesday: Featuring Action Comics #436.

Hey X-Maniacs, X here with a new feature here at the blog.  JT and I were talking the other day, and the topic of the Tuesday review happened to come up.  Since Monday has the Best of the Rest post, which usually has like a gazillion comics in it, a standalone review for Tuesday seemed kind of unnecessary...  I mean, instead of doing a post for something on Tuesday, why not just drop that review into the BotR post.  But that leaves us without a post for Tuesday...  We could have put a scan up, but that would mean I have to scan something, and that tends to be a bit of a pain in the ass at times...  We could just not do anything on Tuesday, but JT was oddly against that idea.  So in the end we've decided to review some random comic from the past.  Something from before this blog was started, and preferably something idiotic, and therefore, fun to rip to pieces.  We plan on alternating weeks, so I'll tackle this week, while JT takes over for next Tuesday.  For the record, JT chose this comic for me to review after I sent him a list of books I have.  So, as usual, if this review sucks?  It's all JT's fault!  One more thing, this post is very changeable, and we'll keep experimenting until we hit on a format that feels right.  Okay, now we can go!

Action Comics #436 (June 1974)

Summary: This issue gets underway with some alien hippies levitating a box of magic cigars up to Perry White's office at the Daily Planet.  Once their job is done, the alien hippies teleport back to their planet.  I think I'll call their planet... Um, let's go with Alieppie.  'Cause I combined "Alien" and "Hippy" you see.  Anyway, Perry learns he had won the Pulitzer Prize for a third time, and WGBS-TV wants to do a big piece on him...  Slow news day in Metropolis, I see.  To that end, WGBS-TV sends Clark Kent to get them the story, because he's working as WGBS-TV's anchorman on their six o'clock news...  Wait, so SUPERMAN is the anchorman on the six o'clock news!?  And NOBODY in Metropolis is able to put one plus one together!?  Clark and Perry get together catch a plane to New York, which is where Perry's ceremony is being held.  Unfortunately for the duo, the pilot of the plane passes out, and the plane goes into a tailspin.  Clark gets up to change to his Superman guise and save the day, while Perry sits there and wishes he had the power to do something.  After that wish, Perry leans against the wall of the plane and falls out, at which time he proceeds to fly over to the plane and manages to carry it down for a landing.  It should go without saying that Supes is rather surprised to witness THAT, as is Perry.  However, Perry White suddenly being able to fly and having super-strength isn't important enough for the two to, oh, I don't know, head to STAR Labs to get Perry checked out or something...  Instead, Perry and Clark head to the ceremony where Clark is bullied by a former college classmate.  Perry angrily wishes he could turn the tables on Clark's bully, which causes him to blow a massive gust of wind, knocking the surprised bully over.  The building then begins to shake and a pillar comes loose(Really?!), so Perry flies over and catches it before it can fall on anybody.  The people at the ceremony decide that Perry HAS to be Superman, because they're a blind gaggle of idiots or something. Perry spots something happening outside, and heads out, as does Clark, who by this time has switched to being Supes.  The two spot a massive tank with a drill in front emerging from the ground, and neither man can stop the dread drill-tank...  Really Supes?  THAT'S what you can't beat?!  Supes uses his X-Ray vision on the drill-tank and realizes that it was being powered by a nuclear energy.  Luckily for all of New York, Supes somehow knows that there was a secret nuclear generator underneath the building where Perry was accepting his award(WHY???), and Supes absorbs the nuclear energy from the generator WHAT???), which depowers the drill-tank.  Without his drill-tank, the driver meekly surrenders.  The press surrounds Perry and asks how long he had been Superman, so Perry tells them that he wasn't Superman, but for the past few hours, anytime he asked for a super-power he got it.  And the press seems to accept that as a valid answer!!!  "Oh, that makes perfect sense, Perry!  Sorry to bother you."  Perry decides to ask how he got his powers and is mentally shown the alien hippies delivering him their far-out cigars.  Perry realizes that he had smoked the entire box of cigars except for one(a whole box of cigars in like half a day?  Damn!).  This issue ends with Perry storing the last magic cigar in a wall safe in his office in the event he ever needed super-powers again.

Thoughts: So yeah, this comic really happened...  Back in the mid-70's, somebody at DC actually asked, "What would happen if Perry White smoked magic cigars that gave him super-powers?"  And an editor actually signed off on such a story!  Methinks Perry wasn't the only one smoking magic cigars...  This issue really went a long way in showing how incredibly stupid the press is though...  There are pictures of Superman.  He had been interviewed by the Daily Planet repeatedly.  We know what he looks like.  And yet, the press immediately figured Perry was Superman!  I mean, how the hell does THAT work?!  "He can fly!  He MUST be Superman!"  I mean, if they saw Wonder Woman fly by, would they automatically assume SHE was Superman too?  What a bunch of idiots!  And don't even get me started on Clark Kent: 6 o'clock anchorman...  The 70's must have been SO damn weird...  Anyway, if you're a fan of Perry White, or magic cigars, then THIS is the comic book for YOU!

Pages in this story: 13.
Times Supes exclaims "Great Krypton!": 1.
Times Perry exclaims "Great Caesar's Ghost!": 4!

Action Comics #2

Ah, here's one of my least favorite series from the reboot, Action Comics... The first issue, for me, was really bad, with Superman being written as a bizarre mash-up of Peter Parker and Batman. If that combination continues, this very well may be the last issue of Action I'm picking up, because $4 is a steep price for something I know I'm going to hate.

Action Comics #2:

What Happened: Lex Luthor and his army allies are torturing Superman in an effort to get some genetic material/idea of what Supes is. Supes eventually gets free, threatens to kill Lex and manages to escape the army base. From there, Army member John Corben(pre-Metallo) decides to try out some prototype armor to attack Supes, and Lex Luther has a mysterious conversation with what appears to be Brainiac.

The Good: Lex Luthor was pure Lex Luthor in this issue, and that is a great thing! Lex thinking Supes was a shapeshifting alien dog made me laugh pretty hard. Krypto appears to be dead. Brainiac's(?) introduction can only lead to positive things. We didn't have to suffer a Jimmy Olsen appearance. Did I mention that Lex Luthor was the main focus here?

The Bad: Superman was still acting like an asshole. There were only 20 pages of story for $3.99, thus proving once and for all that DC DOES NOT hold the line at $2.99... Yeah, I guess my only gripe is that Grant Morrison writes a very unlikable Superman...

The Verdict: Oh, this issue was WAY better than the last one! I mean I was ready to drop this series after that last issue, but now I'm more willing to see how things play out here. Granted, I'm still quite pissed about the pricing of this issue(defend that DC fanboys, I DARE you!), especially after how hard DC pushed their whole, “Holding the line at $2.99” program... Stuff like this simply makes them look like hypocrites. Sorry, a bunch of random sketches and Morrison-babble does not make up for a 20 page story. At least Marvel is more open with the fact that they're trying to fleece as much money out of their fans as they can... Rant over. Going back to the story, Morrison seems to be setting up some good things(Lex, Brainiac, Metallo), he just needs to write Supes less like Batman and more like the virtuous Superman that we all know and love.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.Please let that mean Krypto is dead...

Action Comics #1

There's really not much I can say here for an introduction... It's Superman! It's Lex Luthor! It's Grant Morrison! Let's get to it!

Action Comics #1:

Summary: First, some background. This ISN'T set in the modern day DCU, but the past, apparently 6 months from the time Clark Kent/Superman arrived in Metropolis. We get started with Supes torturing a corrupt business man/crime boss named Glenmorgan until the terrified man gives a full confession of his crimes... Now I'm no lawyer, but I don't think that confession is gonna hold up in a court of law... Anyway, the cops don't like this Superman guy doing their work(well, not the torturing, but the confronting criminals thing), and fire a few shots at him, but needless to say, no bullets can hurt Supes. With that, Supes runs away from the fuzz, with the law hot on his heels. From there we head to a secret army base in Metropolis where we meet General Lane and Lex Luthor. Lane doesn't like the idea of a “man” like Supes running around on American soil, and Lex suspects that Supes is an alien parasite, sent to destroy the Earth. Since they both have doubts about Supes, the army has hired Lex to capture Supes, and Lex has promised to get the job done by 8pm, which was a half an hour away. To that end, Lex has a wrecking ball sent to destroy a derelict building in Metropolis, even though there were some squatters living inside. Supes rushes over and stops the demolition of the building, and as he exits the building, he is immediately met by a pair of tanks. Supes uses the wrecking ball to destroy the first tank, but is blasted by the second tank, which puts Supes down. Before the tank can fire again, the squatters Supes saved earlier run in front of the tank and buy their savior the time needed to get away from the tanks. Supes manages to run/jump back to his little apartment(which reminded me of Peter Parker's apartment in Spider-Man 2), where he pays his landlady some back rent. From there, we head out to Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen(goddamn it!!! Jimmy Olsen is in the reboot but Wally West isn't?! Is there NO justice?!?!), and learn that they were on the trail of one of Glenmorgan's ex-enforcers on a train. Supes(as Clark) gets wind of this because his little love affair with that damned Jimmy Olsen has already started, and Supes somehow realizes that something was wrong... I'm still not quite sure how he knew, but whatever. Anyway, Glenmorgan's enforcer threatens the passengers with some guns, and Supes arrives on the scene to stop the train since the tracks had been blown up and the train was careening out of control. Long story short, Supes DOES manage to stop the train, but gets pinned between the train and a building in the process, leaving him helpless and ready to be captured, just as Lex Luthor had planned it.

Thoughts: This was an odd issue... There were parts I REALLY enjoyed, and others I didn't really get, which is par for the course when talking about a Grant Morrison written comic book... At it's heart, and in simplest terms, this comic was basically an edgier Superman trying to save the people of Metropolis while Lex Luthor tried to eradicate what he saw as an alien menace sent from the stars to destroy humanity. That's fine and good. However, there were a few things that did bug me... Right off the bat, the way Supes tortured Glenmorgan to get a confession out of him seemed wrong for Superman. Batman? Sure, I could see it. Apollo? Definitely. But Superman? The paragon of all that's good in the world? I just can't see him resorting to terrorizing somebody in order to get a confession. Like I said in the review, it's not like the cops/lawyers could even use a confession gained in such a manner. Another thing that bugged me here was the odd Spider-Man-ish feel this comic had. As I stated, the first thing I thought of when I read the scene where Supes met his landlady was Peter Parker and his landlord in the Spidey movies... In a lot of ways this was more like Spidey-lite than a Superman comic. Supes is misunderstood and hated by the cops, even though he's obviously a good guy. The only thing missing here was Perry White smoking a cigar screaming about what a menace Supes was! Anyway, back to the story. I enjoyed it overall, but there were some bits and pieces that left me cold. The scene with Lois, Jimmy and Glenmorgan's goon on the train was just off for me. One minute Supes is talking to Jimmy on his cell phone, the next he's talking to the editor at his newspaper(I think?), the next minute he suddenly realizes Jimmy and Lois were in terrible trouble and is off to stop the runaway train. Am I looking forward to the next issue? I guess so... But out of the three DC reboots I've read thus far, this one was the weakest of the bunch by far.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.On the plus side, Lex Luthor is still the same, awesome character he always was.

Action Comics #904

Ah... Here's a great example of one of the problems I have with the DC reboot... Action Comics... Action Comics has been published since 1938(!). It's put out over 900(!!) issues. Even when it's sucked, it's seemed important because no other comic series has lasted THAT long. Now it's being renumbered and will restart at #1... The same as 51 other series. I still feel that Action and Detective Comics shouldn't be renumbered because they are too important to DC's history, but that line of thinking puts me at odd with the geniuses who currently run DC, since we all know the most important characters in the history of the DCU are Barry Allen and Hal Jordan. The sterling numbers Green Lantern did at the box office should prove that fact...

Action Comics #904:

Summary: While Superman's various friends and teammates are dealing with the remaining two Doomsday's running around the Earth, Supes has been sucked into the Doomslayer's spaceship. The spaceship tells Supes(yes, the spaceship is talking to Supes) that he has to stop the Doomslayer and informs him how to return the spaceship back to it's home dimension before it crashes into the Earth's core(which was the Doomslayer's plan). Supes confronts the Doomslayer and after reprogramming the spaceship(by pushing a wire together...), has to prevent the Doomslayer from altering the ship's course for three minutes, at which time the ship(and everybody on board it) will be shunted to another dimension(or something... I'm not really sure...). Supes and Doomslayer battle, with the Doomslayer gaining the upper-hand, at least until the real Doomsday(which is currently possessed by the Eradicator) shows up to lend Supes a hand. Eradicator tells Supes that he'd stay and make sure Doomslayer didn't reprogram the ship, but Supes doesn't want to let the Eradicator sacrifice himself(because Eradicator is doing SO many important things at the moment...). To deal with that, Eradicator(with some help from the talking spaceship) tosses Supes out of the ship and the ship, as well as the Doomslayer and Eradicator/Doomsday, disappears in an explosion. Supes is kind of sad that the Eradicator was gone/dead/whatever, since Supes feels he should have been the guy to make the big sacrifice, but Lois manages to straighten him out over dinner with a flowery speech.

Thoughts: Eh. Once the spaceship began talking to Supes and telling him how to defeat the Doomslayer/save the world, my eyes began to roll and I stopped paying full attention to this story... It was just all too pat. Supes gets blown up or something by the Doomslayer last issue, but here we find out that he was actually pulled inside the spaceship's informational engines(which Supes helpfully tells us as soon as it happened! Does this sort of thing happen to Supes SO often that he's completely unaffected by it?), so he could learn the secret to beating the Doomslayer and sending the ship back to it's own dimension/blowing it up(I'm still kind of foggy on that...). I liked Lois's speech to Supes to end this issue(why the hell didn't she just tell him that before he went on his asinine trek across America?!), but the story just wrapped up TOO neatly for my liking. I guess this is another storyline that got shortchanged thanks to the DC reboot...

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.Well that was easy...

Action Comics #903 & Detective Comics #880

We're deep in DC territory now, as the next couple of review I do will be coming from the DC family of comics. We kick things off with two of DC's longest running series, Action Comics and Detective Comics. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, the fact that DC is renumbering these two series come September is a travesty... Renumber every other series, but come on, these two series have been running since the 1930's! So there are my thoughts on that, here are my thoughts on this month's installment of those two books.

Action Comics #903:

Summary: This issue begins with the various members of the Superman family(Supergirl, Superboy & Steel) picking a Doomsday and trying to prevent it from carrying out the Doomslayer's mission, the destruction of the earth. As for Superman himself, he decides to take the fight right to the Doomslayer himself by firing himself at the Doomslayer's ship in a big cannon... Yes, that was a bit weird. Luckily for the Supes family, the Eradicator has managed to take possession of Doomsday(the original) and has been traveling the globe with a band of heroes beating up the Doomslayer's rogue Doomsdays. On the Doomslayer's ship, the Doomslayer is busy giving a soliloquy about why he's destroying the earth when he's interrupted with news of a hull breach. The Doomslayer quickly realizes that it was Supes who breached his ship, and nervously watches as Supes makes his way through the ship and heads right for the ship's engines. While in the ship's engine room, Supes possibly figures out the Doomslayer's identity(a Doomsday clone that got lost in the ship for millions of years), which leads to the Doomslayer hastily powering up the engines with the hope being that the heat from the engines would destroy Supes.

Thoughts: I really don't have much to say about this one... It was perfectly acceptable. The story moved along well, Supes entered the Doomslayer's ship, setting up what I'm sure will be the final confrontation between Supes and the Doomslayer, and Supes appeared to deduce the Doomslayer's identity. Now if I read into this issue correctly, the Doomslayer would be a Doomsday clone who got lost on that massive alien ship for a few million years, meaning the lost Doomsday would have had a few million years to evolve, which would explain the Doomslayer's intelligence compared to the other Doomsdays. If that's the identity of the Doomslayer I have no qualms with it, as it makes sense. I'm a bit confused by the ending with the Doomslayer firing up the engines, since I thought he wanted to do that after his ship burrowed into the earth's core, but whatever. All in all, this was a good, fast, action-packed read.

Score: 7 out of 10.The Doomslayer really needs to work on his insults...


Detective Comics #880:

Summary: We get started with Commissioner Gordon calling his ex-wife Barbara to warn her that the Joker had escaped from Arkham and that she needed to go with hotel security just in case he was going to go after her. Barbara agrees to go, and upon hearing a knock at Barbara's hotel room door, Gordon can hear screams and a struggle from the other end of the phone. By the time he reaches her room, Barbara is sitting nude in the tub with that ghastly Joker-venom produced smile on her face. Gordon takes Barbara to the laboratory that was given to the Gotham PD by Wayne Enterprises, and learns from Barbara Gordon(that would be Oracle... Why are there two characters named Barbara Gordon anyway?) and Dick Grayson that Barbara #1 would likely survive with no real damage since she was hit with an early, less-lethal dose of Joker-venom. From there, Dick switches to his Batman duds and heads to Arkham where he begins to track down the Joker by following the trail of Joker-venom the mad clown was secreting. Dick finds Joker, crazy as ever, living in some ancient catacomb under Gotham, complaining about the fact that Dick wasn't Joker's Bat. Joker actually realizes who Dick is, as he repeatedly calls him “little bird” before attacking Dick, since Joker had been waiting for “his” Batman to return. Dick proceeds to beat Joker down and demands that he leaves the Gordons alone. Joker scoffs at Dick, telling him that he didn't do anything to the Gordons this time, and that “his” Batman would have figured that out right away. It's then and there that Dick realizes the mistake that he made, and understands that whoever had helped the Joker escape Arkham had actually attacked Barbara #1. Barbara #1 wakes up from her Joker-venom drugging and begins to scream to Gordon the identity of her real attacker... This issue ends with Gordon's son, James Jr., arriving at Oracle's apartment and proceeding to attack her.

Thoughts: This comic started off kind of slowly, but the reveal at the end made it all worthwhile for me. So it was James Jr. who smuggled the Joker-venom into Arkham to free Joker, since he knew that once Joker was free everybody's attention would be on the Clown Prince of Crime, allowing him to enact his own insane plans unmolested... Very nicely done, Scott Snyder... Right off the bat I thought it was Joker who attacked Barbara #1, and I didn't realize who the real attacker was until roughly when Dick and Gordon figured it out. It's nice to be tricked by a comic story every now and then, especially when the swerve makes perfect sense and isn't simply added for shock value with little thought put into it. As usual, this was another good issue of this series.

Score: 8 out of 10.That is one creepy ass looking Joker!

Zatanna #14 & Action Comics #902

Hey, check it out, I'm reviewing DC comics from A to Z! Get it? No? Eh. Whatever. Anyway, out of the DC comics I picked up on Wednesday, these are the two I'm expecting the most out of. Of course with this being DC, I could wind up being epically disappointed, but let's hope that's not the case this time...

Zatanna #14:

Summary: This issue starts off great with Zatanna finishing up a magic show with her AWESOME cousin, Zatara. Hell, this issue is ALREADY a 7 at least! After leaving the stage, Zatanna complains about all of Zatara's botches during the show, and his all around unprofessional behavior as they enter a limo. While Zatanna is complaining, their limo pulls up to Zatara's favorite after show nightclub, where he starts flirting with anything in a dress... HA! Needless to say, Zatanna is pissed about this and tries to tell Zatara as much, but he manages to sneak away while some muscle-bound goofs hit on her. After dealing with the goofs, Zatanna finds Zatara at the bar using some cringe worthy pick-up lines on a woman. Not wanting to be around for that, Zatanna begins to leave until she hears the woman give her name, Yuki-Onna, which apparently means Japanese succubus. Zatanna tries to get back over to Zatara, but it's too late and the succubus has Zatara under her thrall. From there we get a magic throwdown between Zatanna and the succubus, which is also using Zatara as a puppet, adding his powers to it's own. Realizing the crowd in the club could be hurt during the battle, Zatanna tries a last ditch trick and tells the succubus that she was giving up the battle for the sake of her cousin and the people in the club, with her last request being that she wanted to die by her cousin's hand. The succubus, not realizing that Zatara couldn't use his powers on living things, has him cast a spell on Zatanna to kill her, which backfires and frees Zatara from the succubus's grasp. Now weakened and without Zatara's added powers, the succubus fades away. Zatara wakes up with no idea as to what happened, and picks up right where he left off, hitting on the first hot woman he sees. Infuriated by her cousin's antics, Zatanna's night gets even worse as the muscle-bound goofs from earlier on return to hit on her some more.

Thoughts: Now THIS was a great comic! It was one of the best one and done comics I've read in quite some time. Hero and loved one get into a jam, hero has to outsmart villain to save loved one, villain is defeated and loved one carries on like nothing happened. The characterizations here were great, with Zatara being totally oblivious to everything, while poor Zatanna has to clean up his messes. Add just the right amount of good storytelling, comedy and good art, and you've got yourself a winner!

Score: 9 out of 10.I love Zatara!


Action Comics #902:

Summary: Superman attacks the Doomslayer for killing the Eradicator last issue, but is merely brushed away by the ultra powerful Doomslayer. Having proven that it could easily defeat Supes and his remaining Supes family members, the Doomslayer then goes on to do what any good villain should do, it reveals it's plan to the gathered heroes! God do I love comic book super-villains! The Doomslayer is an evolved version of Doomsday that wants to eliminate all Doomsdays from the universe, since all they were good for was running around destroying stuff. To that end, the Doomslayer intends on crashing it's massive space station into the Earth to destroy the planet since there were many people on Earth with intimate knowledge of Doomsday's DNA. The Doomslayer then goes to blast the unconscious Doomsday into oblivion, but Supes, ever the boy scout, leaps in the way of the blast with a piece of wall, deflecting the blast away from comatose Doomsday... Wait, that blast was supposed to kill Doomsday, but couldn't even breech a wall?! Anyway, Steel manages to hack into the Doomslayer's space station and realizes that he can't stop the station from crashing into the Earth, but that the Supes family could try to slow the station's descent, minimizing the damage. The Supes family does manage to slow the station's descent dramatically, so the Doomslayer readjusts the station's course, sending it directly towards Metropolis. Being a glory hound, Supes tells the rest of the Supes family to head down to Earth to help with any fallout while he finishes the job with the falling station. Supes manages to redirect the station into the ocean near Metropolis, sending a massive wave towards the city, which is contained by the combined efforts of Steel, Superboy and Supergirl. With his original plan ruined, the Doomslayer decides to set loose a mess of Doomsday clones to destroy the Earth, thus assuring that the people of Earth wouldn't be able to recreate Doomsday anymore.

Thoughts: Eh, I liked this one. It's basically what the Superman comics have been missing for the past year or so, Supes dealing with a menace so big only he could stop it. It didn't star Lex Luthor, Mon-El or Nightwing and Flamebird, it didn't have Supes aimlessly wandering the country or rebuking his citizenship, it was a good, old fashioned Superman comic book, and for that, I say thank you to Paul Cornell. It's about time SOMEBODY over at DC remembered what made Supes so great...

Score: 8 out of 10.Superman actually fighting a villain? In a Superman comic book?!? What's going on here?!

Action Comics #901 & Detective Comics #877

Two of the very few DC comics I bothered picking up this week, both of them coming off of very strong prior issues... Can they keep up the momentum, or will they fall flat? Since this is DC we're talking about, I'd bet on the latter choice...

Action Comics #901:

Summary: This one picks up where Action #900 ended, with Superman, Cyborg Superman, Superboy, Supergirl, Eradicator and Steel finding the inert body of Doomsday in a mysterious spacecraft, surrounded by 4 or 5 other very angry Doomsdays... In other words, bad times for the Supes clan! Cyborg Supes is overjoyed by this situation, since he's hoping it'll finally lead to his death(HA!), so Supes tears out Cyborg Superman's central node to shut him up, and orders the Supes patrol to take the original Doomsday and try to lose the rest of the Doomsday's in the vast tunnels of the ship they were in. While Supes and company are trying to figure out how the ship works, why there were so many Doomsday's and how to get off, a mystery figure, watching the Supes patrol travel around the ship decides to pilot the ship towards Earth. The US government gets wind of this, and rapidly realize that if a ship that size struck the Earth, the effects would be catastrophic. To that end, the president goes on TV and asks for Superman to save the Earth... Unfortunately, Supes is still wandering around the spacecraft... Eventually Supes and his posse find a room showing an image of the solar system, and Supergirl notices that the Earth was rapidly getting closer and closer. Supes tells his crew to tear the room apart to find some controls, when a massive Doomsday looking creature enters the room. The creature introduces itself as Doomslayer and is immediately confronted by the Eradicator. Doomslayer tears Eradicator in half with absolutely no trouble, shocking the rest of the Supes patrol, and ending this issue.

Thoughts: I wasn't exactly sure what to expect from Paul Cornell with the end of his Lex Luthor story here in Action... I mean I liked most of his Lex work, but there were some parts that didn't do it for me, and with the idiotic direction DC has taken Superman in as of late, I'll admit, I wasn't expecting all that much from this series. Boy was I wrong though! This issue was WAY better than I expected it to be! Supes and company retreating from a multitude of Doomsdays, a huge threat to the planet, a new badass Supes villain, very good stuff here. Hell, maybe I'll drop the main Superman title and just stick with this series, because the quality difference between those two books is staggering!

Score: 9 out of 10.Look out! It's Robo-Doomsday!!!


Detective Comics #877:

Summary: Batman(Dick Grayson this time around) manages to escape from the deathtrap set up for him by the unfortunately named mobster, the Roadrunner... The Roadrunner... That's ALMOST as bad as “The Hat”... ALMOST. It turns out the Roadrunner doesn't have legs, but has prosthetics made out of titanium, which allow him to move faster than a normal man. The Roadrunner begins to get away from Bats, so Bats simply snares him with his grappling hook, dragging the Roadrunner back to him. Bats demands to know what Roadrunner's connection with Sonia Branch(formerly Sonia Zucco) was, but Roadrunner doesn't say anything worthwhile, so Bats drops him off at Gotham Central, and meets up with Commissioner Gordon. It turns out that Sonia had gone to the Commissioner and asked to meet with Bats, since she had information for his ears alone. Sonia tells Bats that several mobsters had come to her bank wanting to use her to clean their dirty money, but she always refused to help them. However, one criminal by the name of Tiger Shark refused to take no for an answer and was responsible for killing Sonia's assistant and delivering the corpse inside a giant whale. Sonia tells Bats as much as she can about Tiger Shark(he's a pirate who lives out at sea), and Bats decides to head out into the ocean to try to locate Tiger Shark. As Bats is investigating the waters around Gotham, Tiger Shark's massive ship pulls up to him, ending this one.

Thoughts: I've got to say, Detective Comics is the most consistently good main Bat books going. Tony Daniel's Batman is GOD-AWFUL, Batman and Robin keeps switching writers, and Batman Inc is written by Grant Morrison, meaning you'll either love it or hate it. But since Scott Snyder took this title over, it's been solid overall, and at times, really, really good. It reads like you'd want a Batman story to read. It's a bit dark, it shows Bats as a detective, and it isn't overly reliant on Batman's colorful rogues gallery. It relies on Batman, which is all you really need. As usual, good stuff here.

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.The interaction between Tim and Dick here was done really, REALLY well.

Secret Six #33 & Action Comics #900

Just two comics to post tonight, both from the wacky world of DC. One comic I couldn't stand, while the other was surprisingly good... Read on to find out which was which!

Secret Six #33:

Summary: This issue gets under way with Ragdoll offering the Secret Six(minus Catman, who I'll get to later) the opportunity to rule by his side in Hell, as opposed to being tormented for all eternity. The team does a vote(how democratic of them) and Deadshot gets the deciding vote which he answers by shooting Ragdoll in the head. While that's going on, Catman and Etrigan find Catman's father, who is being tormented by Catman's mother. Content that his old man had received the punishment he so richly deserved, Catman says hi to his mom before leaving them. The rest of the Six are busy battling Ragdoll's Secret Six-Hundred and Sixty Six(yes, I love that), with Scandal Savage making her way through the crowd to come face to face with her dead girlfriend, Knockout. Knockout doesn't remember Scandal, and tries to attack her, which Scandal responds to by putting Knockout over her shoulder and carrying her along... Really?!? The same Knockout who used to beat the hell out of Superboy monthly?! This... just... doesn't... make... sense... Blaze(the current head honcho of Hell) arrives on the scene and tells the Six that the jig was up. It seems that she had decided that Ragdoll and Knockout would marry, and wasn't going to stand for the Six screwing up her plans. Blaze forces the Six members to face their greatest fears, which they do, until they all suddenly decide not to anymore... Huh? Anyway, Scandal decides to challenge Blaze, the ruler of Hell, to one on one combat, in Hell, for the souls of her friends and Knockout. Yeah, okay. By this point, Catman and Etrigan arrive and Catman pledges that he'd support Scandal, as do the rest of the Six... As well as Ragdoll... It seems that after ALL this, Ragdoll has had a change of heart and gives Scandal the Get Out of Hell Free card, at which point Scandal and the rest of the Six forgive Ragdoll... With that, Blaze decides that the Six and Ragdoll can leave Hell(wait, why?!?), but warns Scandal that if she uses the card to free Knockout, her current girlfriend(who is being tortured by a maniac) would probably be dead soon, so she had best consider her next step carefully.

Thoughts: Wow, this was horrible... I mean, when I first read it I thought it was pretty bad, but going thorugh it a second time for this review really hammered home just how bad it was. Scandal deciding to literally carry Knockout away ON HER SHOULDER, the Six suddenly not being trapped in their fears, Scandal challenging Blaze to one on one combat, IN HELL, and then the rest of the Six announcing they'd fight by Scandal's side... I mean everything about that is off... First off, Blaze rules Hell! No matter what you do, you're not beating her! Besides that, did the Six miss the part where Scandal made the challenge and specifically said it would be a one on one fight, as in only involving Scandal and Blaze?! And then we have Ragdoll having a change of heart and being forgiven, and then Blaze allowing the Six to leave Hell, just like that. Now I can ignore the leaving Hell thing because the Six did need to get home somehow, but the Ragdoll thing was just the coup de grace for me. That should NEVER have happened! He betrayed the ENTIRE team, tried to marry Scandal's dead lover, and basically almost doomed them to an afterlife where he'd be lording over them... I mean if ever you're not going to forgive somebody, this is that time! But as always, I hate Ragdoll with a passion, so that kind of shades my opinions. I was hoping this storyline would finally rid the team o f Ragdoll, but no, I'm sure all of this will be forgotten 2 or 3 issues down the road. I have to say, I'm pretty surprised this comic hasn't been canceled yet...

Score: 3 out of 10.Um, Knockout could kill Scandal with ONE finger! This scene makes NO sense!!!


Action Comics #900:

Summary: Supes take a break from his cross-country trek to head to Metropolis upon learning that Doomsday had kidnapped several Supes based characters, Superboy, Eradicator, Supergirl, Steel, and Cyborg Superman in particular. Those characters do play a part in this story, but it's a very small part until the very end, so I'll be skipping over most of their scenes. Basically they fight and run from Doomsday a lot on some freaky space station. As for Supes, he heads into the sky to try to figure out where his allies(and enemy) have gone when he is teleported to Lex Luthor, who had managed to acquire the powers of a god last issue. Lex, being Lex, gives Supes the story as to how he gained the power he now wielded(he bonded with a young god from the Phantom Zone), but Supes is more interested in finding the doorway to the Phantom Zone this god came from, since it was his chance to rescue his son, Chris(in a GREAT touch!). Lex doesn't take kindly to being ignored, and attacks Supes physically, before deciding to break Supes mentally by forcing him to relive several painful events in his life. First Luthor heads to the scene of Superman's “death” at the hands of Doomsday and forces him to feel the emotions Lois Lane felt that day, since Lex wanted Supes to feel what human loss felt like. This annoys Supes, who tells Lex that he's felt the sting of loss before. Lex refuses to believe that an alien can feel emotions such as loss, and forces Supes to live through the last moments of his father and mother as Krypton exploded. This angers Supes, but still doesn't break him. Lex now decides to force Supes to relive Chris's sacrifice and return to the Phantom Zone, which seems to legitimately hurt Supes, bringing Lex some pleasure. From there, he forces Supes to watch New Krypton explode once again. Finally having had enough of Lex's games, Supes tells Lex that he DOES feel like a normal person does, and demands that Lex looks into his mind to see what caused Supes the most pain. Figuring it was some cosmic event, such as the deaths of worlds, or something else that would separate Supes from a normal man, Lex does as he's told, and is brought to the Kent family farm where Supes and Ma are mourning over the dead body of Pa Kent. Lex recognizes the farm, and the Kent's, and then finally realizes that Superman and Clark Kent were one and the same(!!!). Supes tries to take that opportunity to prove to Lex that they were more alike then Lex thought, but instead Lex is infuriated by the fact that Supes got to grow up amongst people who loved him, while he didn't. Lex finally flips out and blasts Supes with enough power to disintegrate him, but is surprised to see that Supes was still alive. At this point Mr. Mind(in the body of the Lois Robot), tells Lex that the god from the Phantom Zone had woken up and was fighting Lex for control of their merged body(as well as limiting Lex's powers). Lex realizes that he has to defeat/kill the Phantom Zone god, and summons it, since killing it would give Lex the infinite power he needed to finally kill off Superman. The Phantom Zone god decides to stop fighting Lex and give him the infinite power he craved, provided he only used it as the Phantom Zone god wanted it used, to bring peace and happiness throughout the universe. With that, Lex has his infinite power, and begins radiating happiness throughout the universe, causing every being to be filled with bliss. Supes tells Lex that what he was doing was a wonderful thing, and that he could finally be the hero he always saw himself as, while Mr. Mind warns Lex that the power would leave him if he acted in a negative manner. Supes apologizes for anything he did to Lex that may have caused him anger, since he wanted Lex to continue to shower the cosmos with bliss. Lex ponders all of this for a moment, but is unable to let go of his hatred, and attacks Supes anew, losing his infinite power in the process... Ah Lex... With that, Mr. Mind leaves the body of the Lois robot, and Lex continues his assault on Supes. Supes plays the old rope-a-dope, and takes the worst Lex can throw at him, as Lex slowly but surely uses up the last of his cosmic power. Finally nearly empty, Supes stages an attack of his own, and knocks the rest of Lex's power away, as well as apparently a part of his very mind. It seems that Lex's mind was unable to cope with what he lost, and begins to fail him. Even brain-addled, Lex is still coherent enough to taunt Supes by telling him that he was responsible for the disappearances of his friends via Doomsday, before he is sucked into a portal and vanishes from sight. Now remembering the whole Doomsday thing, Supes rushes to the base Lex described to him and enters the space station. Supes meets up with the captives and learns that Lex had managed to create several Doomsday clones, and the main story of this issue ends with Supes and his allies(and Cyborg Superman) being confronted by a wave of Doomsdays! There were also four other stories here, as well as a screenplay. Some of the stories were great(Damon Lindelof's tale in particular), while others were absolute rubbish(David Goyer's piece, which I'll hit on in the thoughts section.).

Thoughts: This comic had 96 pages and cost $6, but it was well worth the price. Paul Cornell's main story, the conclusion to his Lex Luthor storyline, was absolutely fantastic, and on it's own would have probably given this comic a perfect score. Unfortunately, I can't judge this comic by just that one story, I have to look at everything here. If not for the Goyer tale, I still would have gone with a perfect score, but alas, in good conscience, I can't... The Goyer story is the one getting so much play in the mainstream media, and has Supes renouncing his US citizenship. To be honest, Supes renouncing his US citizenship didn't bother me as much as the horrible story it took place in... Yes, renouncing his citizenship was a bonehead move, especially considering the fact that he's STILL traveling across America in the main Superman title, and will STILL be living in Metropolis, but the story itself was a horrible Middle Eastern political statement piece that really bugged me. I've stated numerous times that I like to have my politics separated from my comic books(I'm looking at YOU, Civil War!), and this issue didn't do that. So yeah, the Goyer story REALLY hurt my enjoyment of this one, and kept it from a rare perfect score...

Score: 9 1/2 out of 10.Lex's reaction here is laugh out loud stuff!

A Few Thoughts on... Some random comics!

Okay, here's the deal guys and gals... I still have a few comics from last week to get through, and I just picked up about 15 comics or so(plus a trade) from the comic book shop yesterday, meaning that once again, I am falling behind in my comic reading. Add the impending end of the school year, and yeah, I'm pretty busy. So in order to try to blitz through a few of last week's books, I'm going to try something new here... I'll be doing this post like a 10 Thoughts post, just with WAY less than 10 Thoughts per comic. Let's give it a shot and see how it goes!

Generation Hope #6.

Synopsis: The Gen Hope kids head to Germany after a new mutant pops up on Cerebro(or is it still Cerebra?). Upon getting there, everybody in the hospital is either unconscious or acting crazy, and we discover that the new mutant registered was still in its mother's womb.

-So now instead of Rogue serving as Hope's liaison, Lord Summers the First has decreed that Shadowcat would be the new liaison between himself and Hope... God, that's like trading an old shoe for sack of dead rats...

-This comic is SO much worse than any other teen-oriented series I'm currently reading from the big two right now(Teen Titans, Avengers Academy, Children's Crusade) it's not even funny...

-I can't believe that we're FIVE issues into this series now and the kids STILL don't have codenames! They finally have costumes, but if you want people to be able to talk about these kids and know who they are, you NEED codenames!It's Hope! And random mutants #1-5...

-Sticking with that train of thought, I'm not sure if I've ever read something from Kieron Gillen that I've truly enjoyed...

-So basically I'll probably give this series until the Summer, and if it doesn't pick up substantially, I'll be dropping it.

Score: 5 out of 10.

X-Factor #218.

Synopsis: Guido's been shot, and the three female assassins who shot him have targeted Mayor Jameson next. Luckily for Jameson, he's being protected by the rest of X-Factor and the Black Cat. The assassins flee, but are being tracked by Black Cat, while X-Factor gets Guido to the hospital where he is pronounced dead, and then recovers(?!).

-I love me some Black Cat, so it was great seeing her in this issue. Yeah, I know she's not a mutie, but it sure would be awesome if she joined the team full-time.Black Cat showing up is a BIG plus!

-I can't say I know what's going on with those three metal female assassins, or why they targeted Jameson, but I trust Peter David's writing, so I'm sure this will all work out for the best... Probably...

-I have NO idea what was up with Guido dying, and then suddenly being healed... No idea whatsoever!

-This was definitely not one of my favorite issues of this series(nor is it one of my favorite storylines), but Peter David's writing(and the inclusion of Black Cat) at least make this one readable.

Score: 6 out of 10.

Supergirl #63.

Synopsis: Supergirl has been trapped at Harvard University by some crazed nerd. While SG is trying to figure a way out, Fake Beetle, Robin and Miss Martian are being mentally probed by the nerd. Eventually SG gets free and confronts the nerd, who reveals himself to be... Dubbilex?!

-The fact that Dubbilex could break through th mental defenses of both the Fake Beetle and Miss Martian, but NOT Damian made my day...

-...Until he DID break through Damian's mental defenses...Come on, Damian is stronger mentally than that!

-The stuff with SG figuring out how to break free from Dubbilex's robots did nothing for me.

-To be honest, pretty much everything about this storyline isn't doing anything for me!

-And speaking of Dubbilex, who thought THAT was a good, exciting reveal?! I mean I read the entire Superboy series from the 90's, so I know the character pretty well, but most other people? Maybe they should have foreshadowed that reveal a bit better...Um yeah, I doubt many people cared about this reveal...

-Much like Gen Hope, I can see myself dropping this title pretty soon...

Score: 4 out of 10.

Justice League of America #56.

Synopsis: Eclipso has taken over several shadow-based characters and has attacked Alan Scott's Emerald City, managing to put Alan's daughter, Jade, under his thrall. Some members of the JLA(and Saint Walker) try to take the battle to Eclipso, but his forces overwhelm them and they are captured by Eclipso's ally, Obsidian.

-Hey look, Obsidian is a bad guy again! Wow, what a SHOCK!!! In case you can't tell, I'm being VERY sarcastic...

-Man, I really hated a lot of the characters that were in this issue on the JLA... Saint Walker(one of Chairman Johns' idiotic creations)and Congorilla(a damned talking monkey) in particular.And there's the damned talking monkey...

-So this issue gives us a battle between Zauriel(or “Zaurel” as the comic spells the name... Idiots...) and Eclipso. Now Zauriel is an angel. A real angel, complete with holy powers. And yet he winds up defeated by Eclipso with relative ease. On the other hand, Saint Walker is more than able to hold his own against Eclipso... Thus proving that it's way past time for somebody to get James Robinson away from this series, because he obviously has NO idea what he's doing anymore...Eclipso takes Zauriel?! Really?!?

-You know, speaking of Robinson, I LOVED his Starman work, but other then that, I really can't say any of his other work has wowed me. He just can't seem to write mainstream characters at all...

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.

Action Comics #899.

Synopsis: Lex Luthor assembles the rest of those black globes in space and learns that Brainiac had manipulated him into assembling the globes for him... But wait! Lex reveals that he knew what Brainiac was doing and defeats Brainiac in single combat. He then uses the globes to summon a god-like creature from the Phantom Zone, defeats it and bonds with it, turning into Lex Luthor: God.

-Why does everything have to be so complicated?! I mean, was I just really tired when I read this last night or something? We have Brainiac telling Lex he manipulated him, to which Lex reveals that he was aware of Brainiac's influence. Then they fight. Then Lex somehow defeats somebody who Supes himself had difficulty beating. Then Mr. Mind shows up and begins to try to explain what the deal with the black globes were. Then some god shows up. Then Lex fights the god. Then Lex BECOMES the god... Sheesh...

-I have no clue why Mr. Mind was here. Much like talking monkeys, I also hate talking bugs...Great, a talking bug...

-I'll admit, Lex snapping Brainiac's neck? Super cool... Although it probably shouldn't have been possible...Should it have happened? No. Was it cool? Hell yeah!

-Lex Luthor: God, actually has some real potential. You KNOW Supes is gonna be in for it now!

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.

Quick Hits: 3/10/11

During my last Quick Hits post I was actually pretty pleased with everything I read. That was rare for me, since I usually have at least one bad comic per Quick Hits, so getting to read and enjoy 5 consecutive comic books was a pleasant surprise. Unfortunately, my lucky streak must have run out because I REALLY didn't enjoy ANY of the comics I reviewed for this here Quick Hits post... When you review 4 books and the best score you hand out is a 6, you know there's something wrong. So there, you've been warned, welcome to the land of misfit comic book reviews!!!

Justice Society of America #48:

Summary: We get started with Obsidian stupidly breaking into Scythe's cell to get retribution for Green Lantern(Alan Scott). Obsidian gets squashed(even though he has insane amounts of power, but whatever), and Scythe rushes outside to try to kill the JSA again. Flash(Jay Garrick) decides that with the JSA's ranks so thin, he'd have to deal with Scythe on his own. Even though Scythe has already proven he could take on the entire JSA for HOURS. With Jay out of the picture, Dr. Chaos attacks and beats up Wildcat and Dr. Midnite with absolute ease... Man, is Marc Guggenheim making the JSA look like a bunch of amateur losers or what? Oh, and on top of all this, Mr. Terrific has been getting progressively dumber, forgetting how to read by this issue... Yeah. Scythe winds up getting the upper hand on Jay(wow, who'd have guessed THAT would happen!?) while Dr. Chaos begins to blow up various things in Monument Point, and the JSA All-Stars FINALLY show up to lend the horrendously overmatched JSA a hand.

Thoughts: Thank god this storyline is ending next issue... I'm not really sure what Guggenheim's master plan for this series is, but if it was to make the JSA look like a bunch of worthless losers, well then, mission accomplished! I mean Wildcat and Dr. Midnite had their asses handed to them by some feeb named Dr. Chaos! A guy who hadn't exhibited any hand to hand fighting skills until this issue. And how did he beat them up? He handcuffed Wildcat and simply smashed Midnite... What a sad bunch of heroes... And the end didn't help matters either, since the All-Stars SHOULD have shown up like 5 issues ago when this storyline started! What the hell kept them away for so long?! Bad stuff here...

Score: 4 out of 10.*sigh* Is this storyline over yet?


Annihilators #1(of 4):

Summary: We get started with the Spaceknight, Ikon, beating down each individual member of the Annihilators as a way to prove to them that just because they had insane amounts of cosmic power they weren't necessarily a good team. She points out that if they would have cut loose with their powers they probably could have defeated her, but that they would have endangered or destroyed Knowhere(which is where they were based out of), which is why they needed a team member with a more limited power-set. After the Annihilator's cool off a bit, Cosmo tells them that before he had died, Star-Lord had been worried about a Dire Wraith invasion. Ikon gets annoyed to hear this, since her people, the Spaceknights, had taken care of the Dire Wraith menace by locking them in Limbo(or something like that) a while back. While this conversation is going on, the team is alerted that somebody was trying to tear a hole in reality to free the Wraiths. The Annihilators respond and run into a guy by the name of Dredd. Dredd is surrounded by an impenetrable force field, and before the Annihilators can figure out a way to stop him, he opens a hole for the Dire Wraiths to escape from.

Thoughts: You know, I REALLY wanted to like this mini-series... I mean, all things considered, I should LOVE this mini! It's written by two of my favorite writers(Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning), it has several characters I like(Gladiator, Silver Surfer, Ronan) and one character I love(Quasar). So yeah, this should have been a dream come true for me. Unfortunately, it was more akin to a nightmare! I hate the Spaceknights, and as such, I can't stand the Dire Wraiths. I wish they were still trapped in the 1980's, where they all belonged. I don't like Ikon at all, and the opening scenes of this comic, with Ikon beating up the Annihilators simply made no sense! Sure Gladiator or the Silver Surfer could destroy a planet if the mood so struck them, but are you seriously trying to tell me that they couldn't defeat Ikon because they were afraid to “cut loose”? Come on, I'm SURE they know their own strength, or they'd have killed EVERYBODY they ever battled! On the plus side, Quasar was written perfectly, as he showed all of the self-doubting that made him a favorite of mine. I'm definitely hoping for bigger and better things next issue, but with the story apparently revolving around the Spaceknights and the Dire Wraiths, I don't think I'll be getting my wish...

Score: 5 out of 10.Yeah sorry, but there's NO way a lone Spaceknight beats Gladiator. EVER!


Wolverine/Hercules: Myths, Monsters and Mutants #1(of 4):

Summary: We get started with Wolvie and Hercules sharing some war stories at a bar. Eventually Wolvie announces that he was done torturing Matsu'o Tsurayaba(the guy who fatally poisoned Wolvie's lady love, Mariko) and that he intended on killing Matsu'o that night. Oh, and Wolvie sent a letter to Matsu'o telling him such. Knowing the end was near, Matsu'o sends what few Hand ninjas he had left after Wolvie, and the ninjas are easily picked apart by Wolvie and Herc. While that's going on, some strange man with a box walks into Matsu'o's penthouse, killing Matsu'o's bodyguards as he went. Upon finally meeting Matsu'o, the strange man reveals that he was actually Achelous, an ancient enemy of Hercules. Achelous tells Matsu'o that people like Wolverine and the rest of the super-hero community had stolen the fame of the old myths, and as such he wanted Wolvie as dead as Matsu'o did. Matsu'o agrees to assist Achelous(really, what does he have to lose by this point?), and this issue ends with Achelous opening the box he was carrying to reveal a talking head... Okay then...

Thoughts: The stuff with Wolvie I was totally fine with. I know all about his hatred for Matsu'o and what happened with Mariko. It was the Hercules stuff that left me a bit confused. I'm sure I SHOULD recall Achelous and the head in the box from somewhere, but sadly, I'm drawing a blank. I keep thinking they appeared in a Hercules mini-series from a few years back, but like I said, nothing about those two is coming to mind... Oh well, I'm sure we'll discover more about them next issue. As for the comic itself, it was what you'd expect it to be. A wacky, fight-filled book with minimal story involved. Wolvie wants to kill Matsu'o. Matsu'o is going to hook up with some of Hercules' enemies. Hercules will then team up with Wolvie to deal with the villains. Simple. If I would have remembered more about Herc's two villains I probably would have enjoyed this one a bit more, but as it is I'll give it a score of...

Score: 6 out of 10.Hercules vs Ninjas. Advantage? Hercules!


Action Comics #898:

Summary: Larfleeze attacks Lex Luthor since he wanted to get his hands on the black/white spheres that Lex had been collecting. The two battle, and when Lex tires of the battle, he simply tosses Larfleeze into one of the white spheres, figuring that would rid him of that muppet-looking pest. It actually works, as Larfleeze winds up falling out of the sphere several miles away and declares that after being in the sphere, he didn't want it anymore. As for Lex, he heads off into space in search of the final few spheres and we discover that Lex's Lois-bot was actually a double agent for Brainiac.

Thoughts: This comic was all sorts of bad! First off, Larfleeze was in it. So right off the bat, there's a huge negative. The story itself just never grabbed me, nor could I make sense of it... Did Lex want the Orange Lantern power? How did Larfleeze find Lex? How did Larfleeze reemerge from the sphere? There may have been answers to these questions in this comic, but to be honest, I really didn't care. The only things that made this comic worth reading was the fact that no matter what, Paul Cornell writes a great Lex Luthor, and the fact that Brainiac had been manipulating the events around Lex through the Lois-bot. Other than that though? This was one comic I easily could have done without.

Score: 3 1/2 out of 10.If Larfleeze would have died here this comic would have gotten a perfect score...

Quick Hits: 2/2/11

Hey X-Maniacs, as promised, here's a bonus Quick Hits post. Be warned though, I go over 6 comics here, 4 DC books and 2 Marvel books, and the best score out of the bunch was a VERY mediocre 6 1/2. So yeah, not exactly the best bunch of books... But hey, good or bad, let's get on with it!

Action Comics #897:

Summary: Lex, Robot Lois and one of Lex's scientists head to Arkham since he's been getting readings that one of those black spheres was in the cell of none other then the Joker. Lex meets the Joker, who naturally plays mind games first, before revealing that he did indeed have one of those spheres. Joker tells Lex that he'd allow Lex to experiment on the sphere, provided Lex expanded its size so Joker could enter it. Lex does this and Joker nearly goes in, but is taken aback by the sphere, telling Lex that if he kept abusing the sphere there could be terrible consequences. By this point the sphere has turned white and Lex storms out, deciding he'd have that room locked down. With Lex gone, the Lois Robot throws the scientist into the sphere, where he appears to die. Lex rushes back in, and Robot Lois blames Joker, who doesn't deny it. We end with Larfleeze deciding he needed to hunt down Lex.

Thoughts: Well, I did enjoy Joker's interactions with Lex, as I expected. My problem with this comic was the fact that I just didn't understand what Joker and Lex were talking about... I mean it was fun, but I'd have enjoyed it SO much more had I understood what was going on. Oh, plus I deducted 1/2 from my final score because of the Larfleeze appearance. I REALLY hate that thing.

Score: 6 out of 10.You're a weird one, Joker...


Wonder Woman #606:

Summary: That centaur thing from last issue moves in for the kill on Wonder Woman, but WW is saved by an Amazon. The centaur kills the Amazon, which puts WW into a rage, leading to her killing the centaur. From there, WW heads to the house of her friend and discovers that her friend's son was abducted by a man-bull creature. A sign for the Morrigan was also left at the scene, telling WW and her Amazons who was responsible for the abduction. WW and crew head to a rundown temple where they are attacked by an army of reanimated corpses.

Thoughts: I just can't get into this story... I just can't. I've tried and tried, but I just don't like it. Sorry, I'm sure there are some people who are enjoying JMS's WW work, but I am definitely not one of them. The story is plodding, and I just want to know why WW has turned into what she is now. Nothing else about this story really matters.

Score: 5 out of 10.Wonder Woman: Teenage Amazon sure does have a temper!


Justice Society of America #47:

Summary: Green Lantern(Alan Scott)leaves his hospital room and heads to the emerald city on the moon, hoping to heal his broken neck. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to work. Dr. Fate has captured Thunder's soul, preventing it from passing on to the afterlife, with the hope that Dr. Midnite could fix her body so she could return to it. The rest of the team mill about trying to figure out who had killed the town's mayor and Thunder, and the man responsible, Dr. Chaos, calls Mr. Terrific and tells him that he'd help Terrific reverse the disease that was stealing Terrific's intelligence, provided Terrific freed Scythe, who was responsible for all of the devastation early on in this storyline. This issue ends with Flash(Jay Garrick), Dr. Midnite and Wildcat confronting Dr. Chaos, but learning that somebody had freed Scythe.

Thoughts: Kind of like the Wonder Woman comic, I've grown real tired of this storyline. The sooner it's over, the better. I don't like Scythe, or the whole, “super-terrorist” storyline, and I don't know WHERE Dr. Chaos even came from! So far Marc Guggenheim's JSA run has REALLY disappointed me.

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.My "To do" list is nearly identical, except I have "Blackmail JT" at the bottom.


Green Arrow #8:

Summary: All sorts of people have headed to Starwood Forest to investigate it. From STAR Labs, to the JSA, to Lexcorp, to Poison Ivy. Each group of people want to see exactly what the forest is, and how it does the things it does. Meanwhile, in the forest, Green Arrow and Galahad run into Jason Blood, who reveals that he had managed to separate himself from Etrigan. Etrigan attacks the trio, but ends up getting bound by the trees in the forest. With Etrigan captured, Galahad hears some disturbance nearby and head off, finding a bunch of STAR Labs scientists studying the forest. Galahad attacks, but is confronted by Dr. Midnite and Mr. Terrific. They manage to drag Galahad out of the forest and he goes crazy, collapsing. By this time, GA arrives on the scene, scolds the JSA members and drags Galahad back into the forest. Blood decides that it wasn't right for him to separate from Etrigan, since Etrigan would have nobody keeping an eye on him and decides to try to re-bond with Etrigan. Etrigan doesn't like the idea of being stuck with Blood again, and this issue ends with the Phantom Stranger appearing before the two enemies.

Thoughts: Meh. I don't care about Galahad, GA, OR Starwood Forest. The best thing about this comic was the battle between Blood and Etrigan(who I've always been quite a fan of). Phantom Stranger? Once again, meh. This was yet another comic I just didn't seem able to get into.

Score: 5 out of 10.Um, isn't Etrigan supposed to rhyme?


Secret Avengers #9:

Summary: In order to rescue his lady love, Sharon Carter, Steve Rogers decides to meet with the man who kidnapped her, John Steele. Steele wants to exchange Carter for Shang-Chi, and Steve agrees, but naturally with a plan. Steve and Shang meet with Steele and a bunch of his Shadow Council goons, and the two sides trade, with Steve sending Shang over while Steel allows Sharon to head to Steve. With Sharon safe, the Secret Avengers burst out of a building and head towards the Council goons, while Steve attacks the much stronger Steele. Steele realizes that his numbers would eventually be overrun by the Avengers, so he reveals that he had rigged the entire building they were on top of to explode. With no choice, the Secret Avengers are forced to allow Steele to take Shang and escape. Shang winds up locked in a prison, where his father announces that he'd be absorbing Shang's lifeforce to extend his own unnatural life. This issue ends with one of the Shadow Council cannon fodder revealing that they were actually Moon Knight, who had snuck into the Council's base, giving Steve and the Secret Avengers an in.

Thoughts: This issue was okay, but I just don't like Shang-Chi... I've NEVER liked him, and I don't care about him OR his crazy father. I seem to be saying this a lot during post, but again, the sooner this storyline is over, the better!

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.You know I'm going to post the Steve Rogers fight scene in this series every time!


Namor #6:

Summary: While studying the mystical amulet worn by Loa, some demons spring out and drag Namor away. Namor wakes up in a desert and is confronted by several horrible sights, including several scorpions with skull heads, and the decapitated heads of the soldiers he led on failed attacks on the surface world. After some wandering, Namor realizes that he had been dragged into Hell by those demons, who reveal that they were the spirits of several dead Atlantian kings. Back in Atlantis, Namor's subjects, as well as Emma Frost and Dr. Nemesis are trying to figure out what happened to Namor. This issue ends with Dr. Doom strolling in, announcing that he wanted to help his old ally Namor escape from the dark realm he had been sucked into.

Thoughts: I actually liked this comic a lot. The Namor in Hell portions were much better than the parts with that annoying Emma Frost and the equally annoying Dr. Nemesis. As for Loa, I don't care about her one way or the other. My biggest gripe with this issue was the ultra vain Dr. Doom walking into Namor's throne room with the top of his head exposed... Doom ALWAYS has his head covered... ALWAYS! I've read LOADS of Fantastic Four comics(as well as other series)with Doom, and he NEVER shows his deformed head/face. Only his robots can see that, never another living being. I get that Doom didn't want to wear his cape and cowl under water, but why wasn't he wearing a full metal mask? That one little thing made me deduct a 1/2 from the final score here, because it just seemed so wrong.

Score: 6 out of 10.Why is the top of Doom's head showing?!?!?

Best of the Rest! January 15th edition.

It's time for the second Best of the Rest this week! You KNOW what that means... It means I'm getting tired of doing my normal long-winded reviews and want to take a slight break. It also means that these five comics I reviewed really didn't impress me enough to want to do full reviews for them. As a matter of fact, I'd go so far as to say that most of these books depressed me! For the record, all of these comics are from DC, so that might have a lot to do with my displeasure. Anyway, let's move forward.

Superman says: Gimme Money!
This Tuesday DC Universe Online was released on all of the major video game systems, and although I have yet to see any reviews for the game pop up yet, the owner of the comic book shop I frequent was playing it, and not only did it look good, but he was raving over it, and he's more of a Marvel guy than a DC fan. So I figured I'd look into the game and see what the pricing system looks like, since I know there is a monthly service fee associated with the game. First off, the main game itself. Since I have a PS3 and never really play anything on my computer, I'd be paying $60 right off the bat for the game itself. From there, there's a monthly service fee of $15(!), meaning if you were to buy the game new, and then pay for a year's worth of monthly fees, that comes to $240 for the year!!! That's enough for an entire video game system, or 4 new games! Now I'm a huge video game player, I spend plenty of time a day relaxing in front of my TV playing something, but I'm sorry DC, I will NEVER pay $240 for a game! A $5 service fee a month would be doable, because that would basically amount to another game over the course of the year, but for a company that loves to scream at every turn that they're keeping comics affordable for us, they sure don't feel the same way about video games! That's for sure.

Now, on to the reviews. First up is going to be Lex Luthor's Action Comics #896... I had to add the “Lex Luthor's” part of the title, because that is so awesome. We kick things off with a flashback of Lex meeting up with Scandal Savage of the Secret Six and somehow convincing her to aid him when he called her. As for what Lex had over Scandal, I don't think we ever find out. So when Scandal's father Vandal Savage attacks Lex, it should come as no surprise as to who he calls. The Secret Six attack Vandal and his goon squad and Catman manages to get his hands on the remote control that Vandal was threatening to blow Lex's building up with. With his remote gone, and his men attacking the Six, Vandal goes after Lex with an ax in an effort to just kill him. Lex begins to use the dreaded Silver Tongue of Flattery on Vandal, and in time, Vandal actually seems to be contemplating an alliance with Lex, however, this issue ends when Catman is shot in the arm and drops the remote on the ground, right on its button. As usual, I enjoyed reading this comic. It's a funny thing actually. Paul Cornell always seems to write a strong story, but that's all... I mean I've no real complaints here, except for the fact that in a few nights time, I doubt I'll even remember having read this comic. So like many issues of this series have been, this was a good, if forgettable comic. For a score, I'll go with a very solid 7 1/2 out of 10.

Next us we'll take a look at everyone's favorite comic book archer, Robin Hood in Green Arrow #7... Oh wait, I mean Oliver Queen... Imagine me mixing up Robin Hood and Oliver Queen! I mean it's not like they wear similar clothing, use the same weapons or BOTH live in a forest! Oh... Nevermind... Anyway, this issue gets underway with Ollie flashing back to the death of his parents during a loin attack when he was a child. Upon waking up, Ollie decides to take a stroll through Starwood Forest, which is NOTHING like Sherwood Forest... Nope, nothing at all... Anyway, Ollie runs into the ghost of his mother, and she tells him that he wasn't responsible for her death, since he was only a small boy when she died. Ollie still feels guilt over his inaction during her death, but manages to spring into action when a giant flaming lion approaches them. Ollie shoots some arrows at the fire lion, but alas, it wasn't really there. From there, Ollie's mother tells him to forgive himself, he seems ready to do so, and that about wraps this comic up. If ever there was a textbook definition for a “Perfectly Acceptable Comic Book,” it was this one. I mean it was a one issue story, there was some mild character development, and by the end, the main character was pretty much back where he started, physically none the worse for wear. Nothing special happened here, nothing blew me away, or anything like that, this was just a solid story. Nothing more, nothing less. And what kind of a score do we give a perfectly acceptable comic? Why a 7 out of 10, that's what!

And now we begin to head down into the doldrums... It's time to take a look at Justice Society of America #45, a comic I've been avoiding for about a month now. Back during WWII, Jay Garrick and Alan Scott came across some Nazi project where they were working on an infant to... I don't know, I'm no evil Nazi mad scientist. Do something really bad let's say. In a bizarre reversal of roles, Jay wants to kill the infant, while Alan disagrees. In the end the two men fight and Alan wins. Fast forward to the present and Jay is told by a US Senator that the being that attacked and devastated that town near Washington DC last issue was actually the infant from WWII, now calling himself Scythe. Feeling partially responsible for his inaction during WWII and for not killing Scythe in the womb(almost literally), Jay decides to leave the JSA to help the town rebuild. That was the main gist of this story, and to be quite honest with you, about as much time as I'm willing to spend on this issue. I don't like this storyline one bit, basically because I really don't like the fact that Scythe is being called a Super-Terrorist... When did super-villains become super-terrorists? If Scythe is a “super-terrorist” because he fought the JSA and wrecked some town, wouldn't the same be true of practically EVERY comic book super-villain? Besides that, I just can't seem to get into the storyline. The battle from last issue was just SO ridiculous that I've lost all interest in this storyline and can't wait for it to end. For a score, I'll go with a pretty lousy 3 out of 10.

So the last review gave a 3 out of 10, right? Well the only way to go from there is up, right? Let's see as we take a gander at Wonder Woman #605. Wonder Woman returns to her apartment and is greeted by her talking cat... *sigh* This is going to be one of THOSE issues, isn't it? The cat pesters WW, telling her she has flower arranging lessons with Anthea the following day(?!?), which WW whines about it, ultimately blasting some music until the cat leaves her alone. The talking cat and another Amazon who was living at WW's apartment discuss the finer points of football(I am NOT making this up!)while WW decides to sneak out to fly around town. WW heads to a pawn shop and tries to pawn an ancient Amazonian statue, but the pawn shop owner is only willing to give her $1,000. WW throws a tantrum and breaks things until he raises his price to $10,000... Wow... WW then takes the money to a woman and her son who escaped an abusive relationship and hands it over. The woman is thankful, and the woman's son shows WW a picture he drew of her, a picture which depicts classic Wonder Woman, not the current version. This sight makes WW feel faint, and she decides to leave. As she climbs onto the fire escape, she is met by an angry Amazon who tells her she can't just be wandering around town. As if to hammer that point home, WW is struck in the back by a spear and crashes to the ground in front of Cernunnos, a minion of the Morrigan, a group of women who don't like WW for some reason. Heh heh... And I thought JSA #45 was bad! This was... It was actually kind of hard to describe. I mean where do I start?! We had WW conversing with a talking cat, Amazons talking football, a random group of evil women, and WW basically forcing the owner of a pawn shop into giving her more money then he felt he should have to... For a comic book with 2 writers, 3 pencillers and 4 inkers you'd think things would have been better, but it sure as hell doesn't seem like it! I don't even want to say anything else about this comic. Let's just give the score, a 2 out of 10 and move on.

Man, that last review was a tough one to get through... Let's see if things get better with Batman #705. What am I saying, of course things will get better! How could this comic possibly be worse than a 2 out of 10?! We get started with Batman(Dick Grayson)and his ally Peacock battling against the Sensei and his throng of ninja assassins. The story here is the the Sensei had kidnapped Peacock's brother... For some reason. The two heroes fight for a while before they decide to run after the limo the Sensei had his men steal with Peacock's brother in it. By the time Bats and Peacock find the limo, it has been destroyed, leaving no clues to follow. From there, I-Chang arrives on the scene and regales us all with a story so boring and long that I literally find myself skipping tons of dialogue. Basically there is a Mask of the Beholder which is important for some reason. Maybe because it's evil. Or powerful. Let's say powerful... That makes the story sound more dire. So this Mask of the Beholder is really powerful and the Sensei has learned of it, and as such wants it. To this end, he kidnaps Peacock's brother because he can see glimpses of the future... I think. Back with the Sensei, he is beating the child in an attempt to force the boy into having a vision that would tell him where the Mask was located. While beating the boy, the Sensei finds a business card from Lucius Fox, and sends his goons after poor Lucius. Bats decides to leave I-Chang and Peacock alone to check up on Commissioner Gordon for some reason, and learns that Lucius had received a phone call from a man who died last issue... What?! Bats decides to check up on Lucius and discovers some people kidnapping Lucius and his family. Before he can step in to help though, he is blown out of a window by some bombs and this issue ends with the Riddler and his daughter Enigma standing over the fallen hero... Me and my big mouth... And I thought things couldn't get any worse after the last review! HA!!! There was absolutely NOTHING in this comic I can point at and say, “Well at least this was good.” This comic made NO sense whatsoever. It was just a horrible read. The story just doesn't make sense!!! What the HELL is I-Chang?! And why should I care about him?! It would have been nice if Tony Daniel filled us in on that! Man, Daniel may be a really good artist, but his writing runs on the various Bat-books he's done have just been terrible. I shudder at the thought of the next issue of this series arriving in the mail... I'm going to give this comic a 1/2 out of 10. Why a 1/2 and not just a zero or a 1? Well, because the art wasn't bad, but the story was about as bad as anything I've read in quite some time. What a mess.