Quick Hits: 2/10/11

Another day, another batch of Quick Hits. This time I'll be checking out two Marvel comics and two DC books. Most of these comics were a little bit worse than I would have hoped, except for one which was WAY better. Well, let's get started.

Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #7:

Summary: Guy Gardner gets pummeled a bit by the mind controlled Sodam Yat until Zardor(who had taken control of Sodam's mind)halts the onslaught. Zardor reveals that Krona had been manipulating Sodam for a while, and that Sodam had been unwittingly absorbing the powers of other Green Lanterns. With that revelation out of the way, Zardor puts Guy inside of a giant snake... Yes really, a giant snake. With Guy out of the way(I guess...), Zardor heads into his rest chambers to absorb some more telepathic powers. Guy manages to escape the giant snake by kissing Bleez(!?!?!?!), and then runs around freeing all of the telepaths Zardor had captured. Needless to say this pisses Zardor off and he decides to finish Guy off. Before he can strike the deathblow, Kilowog and Arisia arrive on the scene, rescue Guy and beat up Zardor. Now defeated, Zardor grabs Bleez and has the still mind-controlled Sodam fly him off-world. Guy follows and aims at Sodam to kill him, but he is stopped by Arisia, which allows the villains to escape.

Thoughts: Gah, this was really pretty bad... Right off the bat, Zardor reveals that Sodam had been manipulated by Krona to Guy, basically for NO reason! Then Guy gets put in a giant snake, which he manages to free himself from by kissing Bleez! First off, if Guy could emerge from the snake to kiss Bleez, why couldn't he simply free himself without the gory kiss? Besides that, what the hell was the point of Kilowog and Arisia leaving Guy last issue only to return THIS issue, with NO explanation as to why they came back? This was yet another depressingly bad comic written by Peter Tomasi... What happened to him? I mean I used to really enjoy his Nightwing and Green Lantern Corps work. But ever since he hooked up with Chairman Johns for Brightest Day it seems his talent has taken a holiday.

Score: 4 1/2 out of 10.You know, if Guy would have died here I probably would have been happy... How times have changed...


Superboy #4:

Summary: Superboy decides to help the futuristic Psionic Lad fend off the attackers that had followed Psionic Lad back in time. Unfortunately, PL's attackers are prepared to deal with a Kryptonian, and manage to knock SB around as well. The villains move in for the kill when SB's annoying friend Simon Valentine: Boy Genius arrives on the scene, which causes the future villains to freak out and teleport back to their time period. From there, Psionic Lad gives SB his origin story(the future sucks, an evil despot killed all of his allies and he needs SB's assistance in training him), and SB decides that PL can move in with him, and that he'd help PL train to be a better hero... Yeah, because if I wanted to be a better hero, I'd definitely head to Superboy... Psionic Lad tries to help SB figure out what the deal with the “broken silo” was, but is unable to, and this issue ends with PL getting in touch with one of his supposedly dead allies from the future, and reporting that he had located the target and when the time was right, PL would kill “him”.

Thoughts: Meh. I was pretty bored by this comic for the most part, as it's yet another character from the future arriving to mess around with a member of the Superman family's lives. I'm also a bit surprised by how predictable Jeff Lemire is being with this story... It's obvious that he wants the reader to believe that Psionic Lad was sent into the past to kill Superboy, but after reading this issue, I have almost NO doubt that the true target of Psionic Lad is Simon. The fact that the leader of the forces that came after Psionic Lad rabbited when they saw Simon, the fact that PL tells SB and Simon that the leader of the future villains was VERY long lived and based in Smallville, as well as PL never saying he was going to kill Superboy, only “him” really points to Simon as PL's target. Maybe I'm wrong, and quite frankly I hope I'm wrong, because if I'm not when PL reveals his plot, I'm going to be REALLY disappointed.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.Thank god, it's Simon Valentine: Boy Genius!


Captain America: The Korvac Sage #3(of 4):

Summary: This issue begins with a flashback of Korvac acquiring his cosmic abilities by interfacing with Galactus's massive spacecraft. Moving forward, Captain America, Firelord and Nikki head towards Galactus's ship to gain access to the Ultimate Nullifier, the only thing that could stop the power-crazed Korvac. Unfortunately, Korvac realizes what the heroes are up to and attacks. Firelord remains behind to try to slow Korvac, while Cap and Nikki head onto the ship in search of the Nullifier. After wandering around the world-sized ship and encountering several threats, Firelord is sent careening to the ground in front of Cap and Nikki, and Korvac lands, announcing that he was going to force Cap to help him obliterate humanity.

Thoughts: Wow, what a difference an issue makes!!! I didn't like the last issue of this mini-series all that much, mainly due to the awful way Cap was being dialogued. He was speaking more like Ben Grimm than Steve Rogers. That TOTALLY changed this issue as Cap actually spoke the way you'd expect somebody of Captain America's stature to speak. Cap finished all of his “-ing” words with the letter “g” and he actually spoke like a leader, not some weird piece of street trash. On top of that, I REALLY enjoyed the story of this issue. Firelord, as the most powerful of the remaining Guardians of the Galaxy, took on Korvac himself, even though he knew Korvac seemed to be more powerful, while Cap and Nikki explored the cavernous ship of Galactus. Cap and Nikki faced several bizarre threats, and were slowly making progress on their search for the Ultimate Nullifier when Korvac arrived. Boy was it a HUGE mistake on my part choosing this comic as this week's Runt of the Litter... Whoops!

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.No, this didn't actually happen in this issue, it was a part of the splash page for the next issue, but it was so funny I couldn't help but post it.


Uncanny X-Men #532:

Summary: While Emma Frost, Fantomex and Shadowcat try to recapture a very angry Sebastien Shaw in China, several random X-Men led by Archangel manage to defeat the Collective Man, who was trying to gain control of the gangs of San Fransisco's Chinatown. Angel's group also manage to apprehend the fake X-Men who have been running around the past few issues and send them to Crazy Mutie Island. Speaking of Crazy Mutie Island, Lobe of the Sublime Corporation calls Lord Summers and tells him he'd hand the X-Men a cure to the mysterious flu that was plaguing the mutants on Crazy Mutie Island provided Lord Summers signed over the rights of the mutant genome... What the hell?! Lord Summers says no, and sends Wolverine to talk to the fake X-Men, figuring they would know where the Sublime Corporation was located since they were obviously given their powers by Lobe's scientists.

Thoughts: Ugh. This was no better and no worse than any other Uncanny X-Men comic I've read during the past 3+ years now. I mean seriously, isn't it time for the X-Men to head back to their roots, abandon Crazy Mutie Island, go back to following Prof. X and deal with threats like Magneto, Apocalypse and their ilk? Lord Summers battling a corporation over the legal rights to the mutant genome?! Are you serious?! What the hell has happened here?! The only saving grace in this comic was the Sebastian Shaw parts, because even though I hate Emma Frost and Shadowcat, at least we actually got an old school MUTANT enemy of the X-Men battling some of their number, something this series has been missing for WAY too long now...

Score: 6 out of 10.Yes that's right, they're fighting over the legal rights of the mutant genome. And then people wonder why I hate the X-books nowadays!

Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #6

Review: We get started with Kilowog and Arisia ditching Guy Gardner after learning that he had been secretly conspiring with Ganthet and Atrocitus. With Kilowog and Arisia gone, Guy is left with that Red Lantern, Bleez. Meanwhile, Sodam Yat seems to be increasing in power while he sleeps(his ring manages to reach 394% charge), but is woken up by some worried Daximite children who were wondering what was up with the light show. Sodam claims ignorance to his glow act and spots some creatures attacking Green Lantern caskets high above the planet. Sodam races over to confront the creatures, but alas, it was a trap, and Sodam ends up under the mental thrall of Zardor. While that scene is playing out, Guy and Bleez reach Zardor's homeworld of Kralok(man that's a lot of alien names...)and attack, making it all the way to Zardor's inner sanctum, where they discover all of the captive telepaths Zardor had captured to enhance his own telepathy. Zardor attacks the duo and manages to put them down with relative ease. Zardor taunts Guy(like any good villain should)and this issue ends with Sodam attacking Guy, who he thought was a Guardian.

Thoughts: You know, when I first read this comic two nights ago, I really didn't like it much at all... As I went through it again to do this review, I found myself enjoying it a bit more. Go figure. The story seemed a bit rushed(in this one issue Guy reveals that he knew Krona was behind the entity kidnappings, Kilowog and Arisia leave, Sodam gets captured, Guy finds Zardor's planet, and battles Zardor to boot.), which is too bad, because I wouldn't have minded some of the stuff here getting drawn out a bit. I mean Guy was searching for Zardor for a few issues now, and in this issue not only does he locate Zardor's planet, he fights through Zardor's defenses AND he battles Zardor! All over the course of a few pages. I did have a good chuckle when I saw the last page with Sodam attacking Guy, since Kilowog wanted to find Zardor to avenge the rookie Lanterns Zardor killed, while Arisia was hoping to find Sodam... I bet they wish they hadn't ditched Guy when they did, since he found BOTH Sodam AND Zardor! Suckers!

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.Because matter don't mind?

Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #5

Overall: We get started here with Kilowog, Arisia, Guy Gardner and that Red Lantern being forced to battle the Green Lanterns who had been kidnapped and brainwashed by Zardor from the Unknown Sectors. The brainwashed GLs seem to believe that Guy and company are members of the Sinestro Corps, and as such are obligated to kill Guy and his motley crew. After a long battle, Guy manages to convince the brainwashed GLs of the truth, however, once he loses mental domination over the Lanterns, Zardor orders them to commit suicide, which they do, right in front of the shocked heroes. Guy manages to garner the whereabouts of Zardor through the ring of one of the dead Lanterns, but before he can get going, Atrocitus sends an image of himself to Guy. In the message, Atrocitus tells Guy that the creature kidnapping the entities was on Earth, and as per their agreement, Guy was honor bound to head to Earth to help with the creature. Since Kilowog and Arisia had seen the message too, Guy finally decides to level with them and tell them all about his agreement with Ganthet and Atrocitus, which ends this one.

I actually enjoyed this issue a lot. It was mainly just Guy and his allies battling a small army of rookie GLs, but it was pretty well done. Lantern on Lantern violence is always fun to read about! So next issue Guy either has to continue after Zardor, which is what Kilowog wants, since Zardor was responsible for killing several rookie Lanterns Kilowog had trained, or head to Earth to battle Hal Jordan on Atrocitus' behalf. Regardless of which way Guy goes, the next issue should definitely be good.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.Get him Guy! Take that bastard Jordan down a few notches!

The Best of the Rest! DC Edition...

Welcome to another installment of the X-Files... Wait, scratch that, let's try that again... Welcome to another installment of the Best of the Rest! Yeah, that's better. Sometimes the classics work the best. Unless you work for DC, and then the classics are the ONLY thing that matter! And on that inauspicious note, let me inform you all that this is going to be an all DC BotR post, so expect lots of sarcasm, angry barbs thrown towards GEOFF “SILVER AGE!!!” Johns, and almost certainly low scores. Before going through that little bit of mental anguish, first some good news!

Fishing for compliments!
So during my first(and only...)X-Files post, I mentioned that I was going to begin reading the Aquaman series from the 1990's. As of the time of this writing, I've read the first 5 issues(as well as issue #0)of the series, and so far, so VERY good! Before I go any further, allow me to state in no uncertain terms that I've NEVER been a fan of Aquaman. To me he's always been, “That guy who talks to fish and gets beat up a lot”. But being a huge fan of Peter David, I figured I'd give this series a shot, and I'm glad that I did! As is a trademark of a PAD written comic, the focus isn't only on Aquaman, but is also on the strong supporting cast that includes Aqualad/Tempest(who's been stealing the show imo)and Dolphin. So far Aquaman has lost his hand, battled a supremely arrogant 90's Superboy, complete with those awful goggles SB used to wear, and fought Lobo(!). If I had to score these first couple of issues, I'd easily give them roughly a 9 or so. They're that good! So now you know what I'll be reading later on tonight!

Okay, the preliminaries are out of the way, let's get to the reviews. First off is Secret Six #27... This issue has the two different groups of Secret Six members, Spymaster's team, which is led by Bane, and Amanda Waller's team led by Scandal Savage. Spymaster has sent her Six to conquer some alien world(I think...), while Waller has sent hers to stop the other Six. Naturally this leads to a fight, and Scandal slashes Bane's throat by accident. With her father figure bleeding out, Scandal asks everybody to stop fighting(which they do)and some native healer walks over and heals Bane. Scandal then takes her Six and quits the battle. With the other Six out of the way, Bane takes his group to invade the castle of the king of this world, but little does he know Scandal's Six has made an alliance with the king... And that's about as well as I can do with this comic... It was absolutely horrendous! I can't believe that Gail Simone wrote this travesty, because I KNOW she's a way better writer than this! What didn't I like here you ask? How about everything with the exception of the art? The story made no sense, the characters almost universally annoyed me(I am SO sick and tired of Ragdoll by this point it's not even funny!)and I don't know anything about this world these different groups of Six's are invading/helping/hanging out in. Hell, I'm still foggy as to why Bane and Scandal split up the original Secret Six to begin with! Add all of that to the fact that the absolutely worthless Black Alice is in this series and yeah, there was nothing good going on here. I hate to say it, but I'm getting the feeling that I'll dropping this series by year's end. Score: 1 out of 10.

Well, we can only go up from that last review, right? Next I'll take a look at JSA All-Stars #12. This issue is a Cyclone-centric issue, which sucks for me since I can't stand Cyclone. It seems that Cyclone's powers are gone now, so she has left the All-Stars and gone to Harvard to attend some classes. Why Harvard? I don't know, I guess because she's really smart all of a sudden. So Cyclone attends classes, and also does some experiments on her blood in an attempt to figure out why her powers were gone. Naturally, she doesn't shut down the computer when she leaves the lab, because she's actually an idiot apparently, which leads to some fellow student taking a peek at her work. Cyclone heads back to her dorm room where she bumps into... *sigh* her doppleganger. This other Cyclone still has powers, but can't remember the past six weeks. The Cyclones decide to take a walk around town(sure, why not...), where they run into the student from earlier, who seems to have developed out of control Cyclone-esque powers. While the Cyclones are deciding how to handle this problem, a third Cyclone shows up, asking what she could do to help. Yeah, so I hate Cyclone, and this issue gives us THREE Cyclones! Sheesh. Couldn't we have spotlighted ANYBODY else on this team?! Hell, why not Tomcat, Citizen Steel, Chimera, Power Girl, Stargirl or ANYBODY else!? Ugh. The best thing about this story was the fact that it ends next issue, so I only have to suffer through one more Cyclone-centric issue... I hope! Score: 6 out of 10.

Hey, it's time to take an unwanted trip back to the early 1960's as I review GEOFF “SILVER AGE!!!” Johns' Green Lantern #58. This issue starts off with Sinestro and Atrocitus searching for the avatar of rage unsuccessfully. Carol Ferris informs Hal Jordan that she intends on staying on Zamaron and taking over as Queen of the Star Sapphires, which bugs Hal since he was still trying to get in her pants. Meanwhile, the avatar of hope possesses some girl who was kidnapped by a pervert and runs around saying “All will be well”. Larfleeze tries to kill the guy from last issue that was possessed by the Predator, but is stopped by the recently arrived Hal Jordan. Hal and Larfleeze fight, but are halted when they get word from Saint Walker that the avatar of hope had chosen a host. Larfleeze and Hal head to the hope possessed girl and meet her and Saint Walker, and this issue ends with SAINT Barry Allen running over to ask Hal what was up with his recent choice in running buddies. Listen, I could care less about any comic that has the name GEOFF Johns on the cover. In my god honest opinion he has completely destroyed everything the DCU has built up over the past two decades or so. As such, reading a comic he wrote tends to turn my stomach, which naturally leads to low scores. So if you liked this issue, kudos to you. If you're a fan of GEOFF, good for you. Me? I hate everything GEOFF writes. Everything. If I wanted to read about Hal Jordan and SAINT Barry Allen, I'd pick up a few DC Chronicles trades and read about them back when they were still exciting and new. Now, whenever I see Hal or SAINT Barry, all I can think about is how screwed over Kyle Rayner and Wally West are, and I lose all ability to write an impartial review. But see, that's the best thing about this being my blog, and not having to answer to anybody, I can write whatever I want! As such, I'm only going to give this comic a score of: 5 1/2 out of 10.

Moving on, we reach Green Arrow #5. This issue begins with Green Arrow rescuing that Mary woman from the assassin, Nix. While Ollie manages to rescue Mary, he isn't able to stop Nix from gutting an innocent civilian in order to make her getaway. Ollie takes the man to the enchanted Starwood forest and dunks him into its magical waters, but instead of the man getting healed, he turns into a Black Lantern thanks to that Black Lantern Firestorm from the Brightest Day comics. Not only that, but tons of Black Lanterns suddenly pop up in the enchanted forest(including Ollie's father somehow)and attack Ollie and his buddy Galahad. Ollie runs to the magic tree with the White Lantern symbol on it and uses the tree's power to defeat the Black Lanterns. With the Black Lanterns defeated(AGAIN!!!), Ollie decides to take the fight to the woman who stole Queen Industries out from under him. Meh. I'm tired of the whole White Lantern thing, I don't care about this idiotic enchanted forest(an enchanted forest? Really? What is this, a fairy tale?!), and I was tired of the Black Lanterns SIX months ago! Besides all that, how the hell did Ollie's father pop up in the enchanted forest?! Was he buried there or something? Weird... Whatever happened to Oliver Queen, street vigilante who would walk the streets of Star City(and Seattle before that)helping citizens in need? No, now we get Green Arrow and his adventures in the Magic Forest. Next. Score: 6 out of 10.

Finally, let's take a look at Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #4. Guy Gardner, Arisia, Kilowog and that Red Lantern head to Daxam to see if they can discover whether or not Sodam Yat was alive or not. After some digging, the group learns that Sodam WAS on Daxam, but that he took a bunch of Daxamites who were worshiping him off-world in order to get them away from the widespread hatred of all things extraterrestrial on Daxam. So where is Sodam? He and his followers have landed on a new world, where Sodam has decided to forsake the Green Lantern way in order to take the Guardians to task for the fact that they were making all sorts of rules, but never bothering to see how those rules were affecting other races. Meanwhile, Guy and company finally arrive in the Unknown Sectors and are attacked by a bunch of mind controlled rookie Green Lanterns at the behest of the ultra-powerful telepath who leads the planet of Kralok. You know, this issue wasn't all that bad. I'm not sure where the Sodam Yat stuff is headed, but I AM glad that he's back to life. I still like the odd couple team of Guy, Arisia, Kilowog and that Red Lantern, and the telepathic villain in the Unknown Sector sure looks like quite the formidable threat. Add Sodam and what looks to be an eventual attack by him on the Guardians, and this series' future looks pretty bright. Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.

"Girl of my wet dreams!"?!?!? REALLY?!?!

Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #3

Overall: On the Blue Lantern homeworld, Guy Gardner, Kilowog and Arisia(as well as that Blue Lantern that looks like an elephant)are confronted by the Red Lantern Atrocitus sent to find and assist Guy. Since the Red Lantern doesn't really have much in the way of social skills, the Green Lanterns attack the Red Lantern until the elephant guy steps in and halts the attack, soothing the Red Lantern and allowing her the ability to speak coherently. The Red Lantern tells Guy that there are major threats loose in the Unknown Sectors, and as such, Guy shouldn't purge the Red Lantern influence from himself just yet. Guy realizes that she has a point and decides to keep his blood-spitting abilities for a little longer. Also in this issue, Sodam Yat wakes up on Daxam and learns that he is being worshiped as a god by a faction of Daximites, while another faction(led by his own father)want him dead. Meanwhile, in the aforementioned Unknown Sectors, the creepy little robed figure continues plotting with the ruler of the Planet Kralok, a nasty piece of work named Zardor. The robed figure warns Zardor of the approach of Guy and company, but Zardor isn't worried, as he has massive telepathic abilities at his disposal. Finally, this issue ends with Guy and the Red Lantern secretly plotting to kill Sodam Yat if they find him since there is a possibility Sodam's return has been weakening Green Lantern rings.

This was a good comic all the way through, but the last page revelation that Guy intends on killing Sodam definitely added to its final score for me. That was a very interesting little touch, which should make next issue's events on Daxam VERY interesting. Besides that, no real complaints here. Although things are a bit slow right now I'm expecting the story to really pick up first on Daxam, and especially in the Unknown Sectors.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.Ladies and gentlemen, your villians!

Quick Thoughts on: Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #2

Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #2: Writer: Peter Tomasi. Pencils: Fernando Pasarin.

Quick Review: While Guy Gardner is wondering how his actions will affect the way he is looked at by the universe at large, Arisia is having nightmares about Sodam Yat and Kilowog is acting moody. Why do I mention these three Lanterns? Because they have all been tasked with heading into the unknown sectors to bring some law and order to the worlds therein. While the trio of Lanterns are preparing for their trip, an enormously powerful telepath named Zardor is plotting against the Green Lantern Corps from within the unknown sector. Before they leave the known universe, Guy decides to go to the homeworld of the Blue Lanterns in order to be purged of the influence of the Red Power Ring he wore during Blackest Night. This issue ends with one of the Red Lanterns attacking Guy and warning him not to purge the Red Lantern influence.

Quick Thoughts: This was a big ol' set-up issue. Nothing more and nothing less. Peter is setting the stage for the next several issues, which is both good and bad. It's good because the upcoming storylines look pretty solid, but bad because this issue suffered due to the extensive scene setting. Hopefully next issue will give us a bit more action and a little less talking.

Score: 7 out of 10.The Green Lantern oath, always a good way to waste a page in a GL comic book!