Widowmaker #1(of 4)

Overall: This issue gets underway with some Russian diplomats heading to a disputed island to talk to the Japanese government about the island. Upon arriving, Ronin and a couple of ninja minions kill the Russians after having killed the Japanese diplomats as well. Back in the US, Hawkeye and Mockingbird break into the diplomat quarters at the UN building and discover an ex-SHIELD agent who was serving as a member of the Japanese Secret Service murdered in his room. This goes on to prove the data that Hawkeye had received from Steve Rogers about a list that was targeting many spies and ex-spies(a list that includes Mockingbird). Mockingbird gets a transmission from her WCA agents telling her that a spy den in Russia had been attacked, which leads to her, Hawkeye and Dominic Fortune going to Russia to try to figure out what was going on. The trio arrive at the spy den where they are met by the Black Widow, who had also gotten wind of the spy hit list. BW explains that she had trained in this spy facility, making the death of all the spies inside personal to her. While the four heroes look over the devastation in the spy den, a bunch of Russian super-heroes tear the roof off the joint and tell the heroes that they would imprison them, but that the ring leader had to be executed. This issue ends with the Russians telling Hawkeye that since he was the leader of the Japanese terror group, he'd be executed, even though he isn't the Ronin who had been killing the diplomats.

Umm, I guess this comic was okay. It didn't really blow me away or anything, it just kind of was. I'm going to chalk the slow start up to the fact that this was only the first issue, and as such had to set things up. With three of my favorite Marvel characters in this mini(Hawkeye, Mockingbird & Black Widow), I'm still expecting GREAT things, but so far, I'm still waiting.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.I love how the Russians simply refer to Black Widow as "Traitor".

The Best of the Rest! December 1st edition.

Well the weather outside is starting to get frightful, but rest assured, my reviews are still delightful... Man, was that corny as hell or what? Anyway, it's time for another installment of the most popular blog feature in the great country of Japan, the Best of the Rest! And who am I you ask? Men call me X! Trust me, that'll make way more sense by the end of this post... Probably. I'll be knocking off 5 reviews in this post, three DCs and two Marvels. On top of that, the last “review” is probably the most outrageously offensive thing I have ever written... So on that dubious note, let's get this show on the road.

Aquaman is... I've run out of fish jokes...
I am rapidly racing towards the end of the 1990's Aquaman series(I have about 20 issues to go)and I've got to say, once Peter David jumped ship(hey, there's a water reference!)this comic went down like the Titanic(I did it again!!). Nothing against Erik Larsen, but he is NO Peter David. Sure, PAD did some weird things during his nearly 50 issue Aquaman run(like the bizarre alien invasion storyline), but I could always find a character or two that I'd connect with, be it Tempest, Dolphin, Vulko, or Aquaman's awesome son, Koryak. Once PAD left, we lose Koryak, gain Mera(yawn)and Aquaman decides to wear a fake hand and go with his retro, 1960's look. Ugh. I'm definitely looking forward to being done with this series, hopefully as soon as next week.

Titans Together or something like that...
So with the impending end of the Aquaman series, I've decided that the next full run of comics that I'll tackle will be the Titans series from the late 90's. I've been warned to stay away from this series from some of my fellow bloggers, but my sister told me to give the series a shot, since it was a quick read. So once I'm done with Aquaman, I'll be working my way through the Titans. For better or worse...

Okay, enough gibber-jabber, let's get this show on the road! The first review on tap for tonight is Black Widow #8. Last issue Widow and the reporter she was trying to rescue were confronted on a train by the Crimson Dynamo and Fantasma. Widow outsmarts and electrocutes the Dynamo, but has a tougher time with Fantasma. Luckily for Widow, her foe from the first issue of this storyline, Fatale, steps in and knocks out Fantasma. Widow, Fatale and the reporter head to a hotel and Fatale explains that she had been betrayed by the people who hired her to take out Widow, so Widow decides to team-up with her. The reporter finally gives up the location of his source, who was the person trying to frame/kill Widow, and Widow and Fatale hunt the source down, discovering an empty room, which promptly explodes. The reporter figures Widow had died, but she later texts him and lets him know she survived, before she sends some of her spy friends to take the reporter back home. Annnd that pretty much closes that. I really didn't like the way this story ended at all. Basically nothing happened, except that the reporter no longer believed Widow had killed his father. Three issues and several continents for that?? Score: 4 out of 10.

Let's get to the DC books with a quick peek at Titans #29. Last issue Deathstroke decided to piss me off by freeing the Mad Hatter from Arkham, and is in the process of freeing a second inmate, Allegra Garcia. Unfortunately for Deathstroke, Batman is standing in between him and his escape. Naturally that leads to an extended fight between the two long time foes. Meanwhile, Deathstroke's team is battling a who's who of Gotham City nutjobs who escaped from their cells during Deathstroke's initial raid on Arkham. For some reason, all of the Arkham inmates seem to be packing their weapons(um, how?)making lots of trouble for the Titans. Deathstroke manages to get away from Bats by jeopardizing the lives of two Arkham guards who wandered into the fight, and with Bats distracted trying to save the guards, Deathstroke and Allegra make a break for it. This issue ends with Allegra tiring of Deathstroke and attacking him with some form of powers. This was actually a pretty good comic, with my only real complaint being the fact that all of the Arkham escapees had their weapons of choice with them. I mean, how the hell does THAT happen?! Scarecrow had a sack on his head and was blowing fear gas in people's faces, Zsasz had a knife, and Mr. Freeze had his frigging freeze gun! Now why would THAT be in Arkham with him?! Weird. Other than that, no real complaints here. The Batman/Deathstroke fight was well done, and as per my own sanity keeping exercise, I simply ignored everything Arsenal said and did. Score: 7 out of 10.

Sticking with DC, let's take a look at what used to be DC's premier super-team, the Justice League in Justice League of America #51. Batman, Supergirl, Donna Troy, Jade and Jesse Quick are trapped in the Hall of Justice with the Crime Syndicate and the immensely powerful Omega Man, who is SO powerful he speaks with an echo!!! Oooo, scary! Apparently the Omega Man is the being that has destroyed two other Earths, and wants to add the DCU to his resume. The Crime Syndicate try to avoid the Omega Man, while the JLA battle him to no avail. In the end, the Omega Man tries to fire a massive death beam into the air, but Jade uses her powers to halt the blast, creating an impregnable dome around all of Washington DC. Supergirl tries to take on the Omega Man, but using his ability to speak in echoes, he transforms her into EVIL Supergirl. How do I know she's EVIL Supergirl? Because she no longer has eyeballs and was wearing a black and silver costume. Meh, meh, and double meh. Supergirl “dying” and being reborn as EVIL Supergirl lacked any real impact since we all know she's not going to be staying that way since, you know, she has her own series! Now if Donna would have become EVIL Donna, maybe the impact would have been greater. Other then that, this issue STILL confused the hell out of me, and the Omega Man looked suspiciously like Onslaught. Whatever though, another lousy issue of a lousy series. Score: 4 out of 10.

Let's head back to Marvel and Secret Avengers #7 before I get to the main event of this post. This issue is STILL dealing with Shang-Chi, meaning that I was bored of it before I even got started... Shang gets captured by his father's ninja goons, but that's exactly what Steve Rogers wanted, since he had Ant-Man hiding in Shang's hair... Huh. Ant-Man springs Shang, and they return to Steve's base. Meanwhile, Valkyrie and the Price of Orphans(what kind of a codename is “The Prince of Orphans”?!)manage to capture a member of the Shadow Council and bring him into Steve for some fruitless interrogation. This issue ends with the leader of the Shadow Council, Director Thorndrake and Max Fury promising Shang-Chi's half dead father that they'd still capture Shang in order to complete the ritual that would return Papa Shang to life. How can they be so sure? Because they have some guy named John Steele working with them. This is another issue that had me saying, “meh” when I was done with it. I'm just not into Shang-Chi. Don't care about him, don't care about his stories, don't care about his father, I just don't care. I think this storyline wraps up next issue, and to that I say, the sooner the better! Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.

And now it's time for Green Lantern #59... I'm going to brutally honest here, I hated this comic book passionately, and as such, this is going to be more of a rant than a review. Not only that, but this rant turned out to be uncharacteristically profane, so if you get easily offended, you should definitely skip this review. So there, you've been warned. If you read on and get pissed, don't complain to me about it. This issue starts with the Indigo Lanterns arriving on Earth and putting some guy on their team. From there, the two objects of every one of Geoff Johns' wet dreams, Hal Jordan and Barry Allan talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk some more. Barry is upset that Hal is working with Sinestro and Atrocitus instead of him, and then the two talk some more, because what this issue needed was more of two characters who were dead years ago talking. On Oa, the Guardians and Salaak talk about Hal Jordan(because we needed MORE talking!!!)and discuss how he doesn't follow orders. Really? What a shocker! Wow, that's NEVER been mentioned before!!! That Geoff Johns is a comic book GENIUS!!! Eventually the Indigo Lanterns arrive at Hal's location and Hal proceeds to talk to them too. Hey, why the hell not? Hal complains about Black Hand being on the Indigo Lanterns, which gives Black Hand the opportunity to, you guessed it, talk! That little robed figure arrives on the scene riding Parallax, which makes no sense, but who really cares about this shit making sense anymore? Parallax then possessed Barry Allen and this issue thankfully ends. After I finished reading this comic, I put it down and simply said three words, “Fuck this shit.” That pretty much sums up my feelings towards this series. I guess I'm happy for Geoff Johns, who can jerk off to his favorite characters to his heart's desire, but me? Count me out of the Johns wank-fest. I'm done with this series. And more importantly, I'm done with anything written by Geoff “1959” Johns. I'm tired of his incessant pandering to the fans of DC's Silver Age, I'm sick of seeing the dead Green Lantern and the dead Flash getting all of the play in the DCU, basically I'm tired of Geoff Johns. Let all of the little DC fanboys drool all over the garbage he's regurgitating from 50 years ago, I'm done with it all. Score: 0 out of 10.

The Random Scan of the Week!Best line EVER!!!!

Black Widow #6

Overall: This issue starts off by revealing that Black Widow wasn't shot in the head and killed at the end of the last issue. I know, I'm shocked too! A split second before Nick Crane(disgruntled journalist)managed to shoot BW in the head, she was able to knock him unconscious. Nick awakens tied to a bed with BW asking him who his source was in the story he was set to print which erroneously insinuated BW in the deaths of several high muck-a-mucks. Nick refuses to tell, and a bunch of armed goons break into the room and take both Nick and BW to a secret CIA base in Poland. It seems that BW had asked an old CIA friend of hers to stage the kidnapping in the hopes that Nick would feel closer to BW if they were both captives and reveal his source. Unfortunately for BW, the CIA agent betrays her to some unnamed party and prepares to torture both her and Nick. BW manages to escape the crooked CIA man and along with Nick finds an old ally who supplies the duo with new faces and identities. After all of this, Nick finally begins to trust BW and is about to reveal his source when Fantasma and the Crimson Dynamo attack.

Well, this was definitely a major step up from last issue, which I was only partial to. The story is coming together nicely, Natasha's plot and subsequent betrayal at the hands of the CIA agent was a good twist, and the cliffhanger left me interested in checking out the next issue. So while this comic wasn't mind-blowing or anything like that, it was a perfectly acceptable way to spend a few minutes.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.Huh, I'm sort of impressed that the Crimson Dynamo armor is still functional... Who knew old Soviet Union technology was so reliable?

Black Widow #2

Hey all, another day, another bunch of reviews. Now, I'm supposed to do a Flashback Friday post tomorrow(followed by a Best of the Rest post on Saturday), but I can almost guarantee that I'll be skipping the Flashback post, and there's a very good chance I'll be skipping the Best post as well. My reasoning for this is twofold... Number one, I'd prefer to just concentrate on reviewing the new stuff I have(in some cases I'm 4 months behind some series!), and number two, doing the Flashback post has been detrimental to my back issue reading... I find myself not reading as many back issues because I know the more I read, the more time I'll have to put into the Flashback post, which can be pretty time consuming. So instead of a Flashback Friday post, I'll probably continue turning out reviews, unless I read an exceptionally good back issue, then I'll probably do a proper review for it or add it to the Best of the Rest post on Saturday. Okay, with that little bit of house keeping out of the way, let's get to the reviews.

Black Widow #2: Writer: Marjorie Liu. Artist: Daniel Acuña.
Last Issue: 8 out of 10.

Review: Black Widow wakes up in a hospital room with a start, and after looking down at the wound on her abdominal region, she figures out exactly what happened to her. Before Natasha can get out of bed, Wolverine strolls in and after a quick conversation, Wolvie takes his leave. Natasha then goes to leave the hospital, but she is accosted by a trio of gunmen, who order her to return to her room. Even in her weakened state, Natasha takes care of the gunmen, takes one of their outfits, and manages to sneak away. From there we head to a meeting between Tony Stark, Bucky, Hawkeye and a man from the government. The government guy tells the trio of heroes that his operatives had removed a data chip that was implanted in Natasha body which was tracking the movements of all of the heroes she had been working with, as well as recording all sorts of classified information. The three heroes refuse to believe that Natasha would sell them out, but during the meeting, Pepper Potts is shot by Lady Bullseye with a high powered focused sound rifle, to which the government agent tells Stark before he rushes away after receiving that news, that Pepper was one of the people who was in Natasha's files. So it looks like Natasha has switch sides, and is selling out her friends... After making it to one of her safehouses, she picks up a few weapons, grabs a change of clothes, and heads out to see who was behind all of her recent problems. This issue ends with Natasha heading towards some docks, where Elektra was waiting for her.

What I Thought: This comic was interesting enough I guess. For my tastes there's a bit too much mystery going on here with not enough answers, but hopefully the mystery of Natasha, the data chip, the government and the people who were trying to kill her will begin to unravel a bit next issue. I kept hoping things would clear up with each page I turned, but instead the waters just became muckier and murkier. With that said, next issue, if it gives us a Black Widow/Elektra showdown should be off the charts fantastic!

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.Don't worry Logan, I doubt ANYBODY would ever mistake you for a gentleman!

Black Widow #1

Black Widow #1: Writer: Marjorie Liu. Artist: Daniel Acuña.

Review: We begin this issue with Black Widow meeting up with one of her old spy buddies, a man by the name of the Black Rose. Natasha shows Black Rose a rose she was given the prior day, and asks if he was behind its delivery or if he knew anything about it. Unfortunately for Natasha, Black Rose seems as puzzled by the rose as she was. Natasha leaves Black Rose and begins to walk home, until she realizes she was being followed by an elderly woman. Natasha confronts the older woman, and ends up taking the older woman down after the older woman pulled a knife on Natasha. Before Natasha can question the older woman, Natasha is shot in the side of the neck with a dart, and falls to the ground paralyzed. The gunman approaches, and has the old woman cut Natasha's abdomen open so they could remove something from inside of Natasha. After the two are done, the gunman kills the old woman, and leaves Natasha bleeding on the sidewalk. Eventually Natasha is brought to a hospital, where she remains paralyzed, but coherent of everything the doctors do to her. Tony Stark, Bucky and Wolverine arrive at the hospital and Stark sends Wolvie to the crime scene to see what he can pick up with his enhanced senses. Wolvie arrives at the scene, picks up a scent, and tracks down the gunman from earlier. The gunman tells Wolvie that what went down was between him and Natasha, and that if Wolvie killed him, somebody worse would come by to finish the job on Natasha. Wolvie decides to leave the fate of the gunman up to Natasha once she's feeling better, and leaves, ending this issue.

What I Thought: Not a bad first issue at all. We have a nice little mystery going on between the gunman and Natasha, plus the weird surgery the gunman had Natasha go through. I liked the art, I liked the story, what more need I say?

Score: 8 out of 10.Hmm, Black Widow vs a crazy old lady... I wonder who would win THAT battle...