Black Widow #6

Overall: This issue starts off by revealing that Black Widow wasn't shot in the head and killed at the end of the last issue. I know, I'm shocked too! A split second before Nick Crane(disgruntled journalist)managed to shoot BW in the head, she was able to knock him unconscious. Nick awakens tied to a bed with BW asking him who his source was in the story he was set to print which erroneously insinuated BW in the deaths of several high muck-a-mucks. Nick refuses to tell, and a bunch of armed goons break into the room and take both Nick and BW to a secret CIA base in Poland. It seems that BW had asked an old CIA friend of hers to stage the kidnapping in the hopes that Nick would feel closer to BW if they were both captives and reveal his source. Unfortunately for BW, the CIA agent betrays her to some unnamed party and prepares to torture both her and Nick. BW manages to escape the crooked CIA man and along with Nick finds an old ally who supplies the duo with new faces and identities. After all of this, Nick finally begins to trust BW and is about to reveal his source when Fantasma and the Crimson Dynamo attack.

Well, this was definitely a major step up from last issue, which I was only partial to. The story is coming together nicely, Natasha's plot and subsequent betrayal at the hands of the CIA agent was a good twist, and the cliffhanger left me interested in checking out the next issue. So while this comic wasn't mind-blowing or anything like that, it was a perfectly acceptable way to spend a few minutes.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.Huh, I'm sort of impressed that the Crimson Dynamo armor is still functional... Who knew old Soviet Union technology was so reliable?

New Comic Day! November 3rd Edition.

Hey there X-philes, it's the Duke of Disaster himself here with a new New Comic Day post!!! The “Duke of Disaster”? Ugh... Man, I don't even know what to say after that horrible line... Okay X, shake it off and move on... So today was Wednesday, meaning it was time for me to drive to the comic book store and spend oodles of cash-money on comic books... “oodles of cash-money”? What's the matter with me tonight?

That's it, enough funny business(THAT was funny?!), let's get into the meat of this thus far meaningless post. As always, before moving forward, let's look backwards at last week's post. I said that I'd post 16 reviews by today during last week's NCD post and I managed a measly 12 reviews... Epic fail you say? Not so fast bucko! Last week I did mention that there was a good chance that I wouldn't be able to reach the 16 post plateau due to an enormous amount of school work and life related junk that popped up this week. So yeah, I failed to reach 16 reviews, but I was close... That should count for something, right? Right?!? Meh, I tried.

So yes, last week was a bit of a letdown, but I'm hoping to turn things around and get back on track this week. Man am I gabby and nonsensical(or more accurately, more nonsensical than usual)this week... Enough talk, let's see what I picked up this week. Red Hood: The Lost Days #6, Superboy #1, Hawkeye and Mockingbird #6, Avengers Academy #6, Brightest Day #13, JSA All-Stars #12, Namor #3, Young Allies #6, Secret Six #27, Captain America: Man Out of Time #1, Generation Hope #1, Freedom Fighters #3 & Invincible #75. That gives me a grand total of 13 books. Well, actually it's more like 12 books, because I can't read Invincible #75 since I'm still playing catch-up with that series. So let's go with 12 books. And since today is the day after Election Day I feel like making some sort of promise, just like all of those politicians do... By next week's NCD post I SHALL have 12 new reviews posted!!! And UNLIKE every single politician in the known world, I fully intend on keeping my promise! I won't blame other bloggers if I don't get my reviews done, nor will I spend my week searching for imaginary weapons of mass destruction or fooling around with interns. No, I am a man of my word, a man of morality and virtue. Many of my friends and associates have gone so far as to say that I am perfect, but I'm much to modest to repeat their words. No, I won't claim to be perfect, even though everybody I've ever met, as well as several people I haven't met have told me that I am indeed perfect. Nope, I'm not going to claim that I'm perfect, even if everybody thinks so. My modesty prevents me from doing so. BUT, if you're looking for a man of morality, virtue and yes, perfection, then next time you're voting, consider doing things the perfect way like me and vote X! My name is X and I approve this blog post. Hmm... That was weird... Oh well, what more is there to say besides X out!

X-Men vs Vampires #2(of 2)

Overall: Gah, I have to review THIS... *sigh* Well, let's get it over with... Much like the first issue of this mini-series, we get a look at a different member of the X-Men and follow them as they deal with the dread vampire menace. Last issue we got some interesting stories and good characters. This issue? Well, you be the judge. We open with a story about Gambit picking up a few vampire women at a bar who decide to take a bite out of the Cajun. Gambit leads them on a chase through the streets of San Fransisco, first on a motorcycle, and then on a horse(????)before he manages to defeat and kill the vamps. Next up is a story about Rockslide and Armor, who have been tasked with bringing some food to Utopia. A giant vampire whale(yes, you read that right)attacks the ship, but the kids are able to defeat it by feeding it garlic(ya-huh...). Oh, and to make matters even better, Rockslide wakes up and we learn that the whole vampire whale attack was only a dream, rendering the whole story useless... Next up, Karma, who is attending a Waist Watchers meeting, gets attacked by an obese vampire who sucks the fat(??)out of women, making herself bigger, while making the women thinner. So Karma and the fat vampire fight and ultimately Karma kills her by shoving her outside and into the sun. Finally(mercifully!!!), we get a story about Archangel, who is on the trail of a vampire who has only been killing criminals. The vampire tries to make his case to Archangel, but is unsuccessful, and the two battle, with Archangel trying to keep his dark half at bay. After a bit of a scuffle, Archangel manages to defeat the vampire without transforming into his dark counterpart.

My god was this awful! If not for the Archangel story I'd have lost what's left of my mind... First off, the Gambit story contained Gambit, so that ruined that right there, the second story spotlighted two of the most boring(and dare I say worthless)X-students, and to make matters worse, it was all just a DREAM! The third story... well, the less said about it, the better... Ugh, I just want to forget that I actually paid $4 for this travesty...

Score: 3 out of 10.At least the Archangel story was good... I guess...

Fantastic Four #584

Overall: The Thing decides to take the potion the Future Foundation kids created for him, which in theory is supposed to allow him to turn human once a week every year. He asks the Human Torch to hang around him while he takes the potion in case something goes horribly wrong, which Johnny agrees to do, and Thing drinks the potion... And it works! Instead of looking like a misshapen rock monster, Thing actually reverts back to being Ben Grimm again. With Ben finally looking human(after 49 some odd years), Johnny offers to take him out on the town, which Ben readily agrees to. In the meanwhile, Mr. Fantastic sees his wife, the Invisible Woman, off as she hops a plane to meet with Namor to deal with some Atlantian issues. Back with Ben and Johnny, they hit the town, hang out with their fellow heroes, watch a Giants game(Let's go Giants!!!), go to a bar, beat up the Yancy Street Gang and Ben ends the night by paying a visit to Alicia, who is happy for Ben. Sue lands on Utopia(AKA evil mutie island)and meets up with Namor, who naturally hits on Sue, because he's Namor and he's awesome. Back at the Baxter Building, the Silver Surfer confronts Reed about the dead Galactus from the future he discovered buried in the Earth, and Reed offers to explain to the Surfer what the story was with that. Unfortunately for Reed, it's not the Surfer who wants to hear Reed's explanation, but a very unhappy Galactus!

Mmm, now things are starting to heat up here! We all know that one of the members of the Fantastic Four will die within a few issues(I mean right on the cover it says, “Countdown to Casualty”!)and with the way the team is spread out, it could be any one of them... Reed is alone with an angry Galactus, who could blink and eye and revert Reed into a bunch of atoms, Ben is no longer the Thing, which is great for him, but leaves him highly vulnerable to any potential attacks, especially since he's traveling with Johnny, who is a well known public figure, and then you have Sue, who is trying to help Namor broker peace between warring factions of Atlantians... So yeah, right now anything could happen, which makes for some very good and suspenseful reading.

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.Namor, you rule!!!

Batman & Robin #15

Overall: Okay, it's time to take another trip to that wild and wacky world called Morrison-ville... A very perplexing place to go... The citizens of Gotham are going insane(as tends to happen every now and then)thanks to the combined efforts of Dr. Hurt and Pyg, which is something Joker isn't altogether pleased with, since Hurt and Pyg left him out of their plans. Joker releases Robin and tells him to help Batman deal with Hurt, lest Robin wants Joker to blow up Gotham City(or something along those lines). Hurt, impersonating the dead Thomas Wayne, returns to Wayne Manor in order to complete this whole bizarre and utterly un-Batman like Barbatos thing. Robin manages to rescue Commissioner Gordon, who was being held hostage by Pyg, before deciding to storm Wayne Manor on his own to rescue Batman. That move doesn't work out well for Robin, as he gets captured by Hurt's men and winds up being held with Batman in the catacombs of Wayne Manor. Hurt, who is in possession of that Bat-casket thing, for some reason decides that he needs Robin's assistance in opening the casket and wants Robin to pledge his allegiance to him. Robin stalls instead, giving Batman the chance to free himself, as the casket opens and a figure that appears to be Bruce Wayne returns to confront Hurt.

I don't know. I really don't. Listen, I don't understand anything that has happened in the series since it began, I don't understand the Return of Bruce Wayne mini-series, and quite frankly, I haven't understood a thing Grant Morrison has written since he's returned to DC from Marvel. There were some good things, like Joker, but other than him, I have nothing to say. If you liked this story/understood it, more power to you. Me? This comic might as well have been written in Chinese, because I was lost.

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10."Why can't you just make sense?" That's the same thing I ask myself every time I put an issue of this series down...

Detective Comics #870

Overall: We kick this issue off with the Joker impostors and the Batman impostors rioting at a state fair. The real Batman arrives on the scene and tries to calm things down, but the riot is in full swing, and there is little the Caped Crusader can do to end the madness. While the insanity rages on, Batman gets a transmission from the leader of the impostor Jokers(as well as the secret leader of the impostor Batmen)Mr. Heath. Heath wants to meet Batman in the Hall of Mirrors, which Bats is all too happy to do. Batman and Heath battle, and Batman gets the upper hand, pinning Heath to the ground, demanding to know why Heath played both the impostor Batmen and Jokers against each other and then tried to kill all of them. Heath basically explains that he blames Batman for his own disfigurement and the death of his girlfriend at the hands of the Joker, and as such, he wanted to make all of Gotham pay. While Batman does feel somewhat bad for the terrible way things turned out for Heath, he still knows he has to take him into custody due to his inciting the riot, as well as all of the people he killed. Batman leads Heath from the Hall of Mirrors, but ends up losing him in the sea of madness that the riot had become. This issue ends with Batman pondering his effect on the people of Gotham, while Heath lays low and tells the skeletal remains of his dead girlfriend about what happened.

This was one of those perfectly acceptable comics I talk about so often. It wasn't anything special, and I doubt I'll remember it past next week, but it was a good, solid read, and a fine way to kill a few minutes between classes. Heath's origin was very well done, with it being tough not to feel some degree of sympathy for him, and especially for his girlfriend, who seems to have been eaten alive by birds thanks to the Joker. As I said, this was a good story, not a necessary read or anything, but a good story nonetheless.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.Isn't Gotham already one great lunatic asylum?

Captain America: Patriot #3(of 4)

Overall: The adventures of late 1940's/1950's Captain America, Jeff Mace, continue here as he deals with the aftermath of his partner Bucky(actually the second Bucky I believe)getting shot by some gangsters. Jeff suspects that his on-again, off-again girlfriend may have had something to do Bucky being shot, since she had become increasingly jealous of Jeff's young partner. Jeff decides to hunt down whoever shot Bucky on his own, telling the All-Winner's Squad(that generation's Avengers)to give him 24 hours to solve the case before they begin looking into things(since he wanted to handle the situation on his own in case his girlfriend was involved). After some sleuthing, Jeff learns that it wasn't his girlfriend who was responsible for shooting Bucky, but some crazy dame(sorry, I got carried away with the whole 1940's vernacular)who was leading a group of gangsters. Jeff is nearly defeated by the evil woman, but is saved by the last minute appearance of his FBI liaison, Betsy Ross, in the guise of the Golden Girl. Jeff decides to take Betsy under his wing while Bucky heals, which is exactly what the FBI wanted to happen, since they had unfounded suspicions that he was a communist.

I'm really enjoying this series. It's probably not the type of comic that somebody unfamiliar with the history of the Marvel Universe and the many Captain Americas/Buckys that appeared after the original two “died”/disappeared would want to take on, but for me, a self-professed Marvel history nerd, I'm loving this mini. It's a fun look back at the 1950's Marvel U, and the way things worked back in the day. My only real complaint is that there is only one more issue, and I have NO idea where this story will go, or how Jeff's saga will end...

Score: 8 out of 10.That crazy dame must be off her trolley!

Happy Halloween!

Well, I was hoping to post a few reviews and get back to the comments that were left for me, but my sloth-like behavior, coupled with a Powerpoint project that needed to be completed have ruined all of that. On the plus side I'm now done with that blasted Powerpoint project, and should have some spare time to do a few reviews tomorrow(hopefully 5!). So that's how I spent my Halloween. Fun, right? Hopefully you X-Maniacs have managed to have more fun today than I did(and if you didn't, I truly pity you...). Before I go, I figured I'd post a very creepy, Halloween-esque picture of everybody's favorite scarecrow-themed DC character, the Scarecrow! What, he IS scarecrow-themed... That's it for me today, X out!