Iron Man 2.0 #9

It's time for another installment of Iron Man 2.0. You can bet your ass that Palmer Addley will be up to no good in this one, because he's been up to no good since the first issue of this series!

Iron Man 2.0 #9:

Summary: This issue shows us exactly how Palmer Addley managed to beat death and continue his plans to spread anarchy even after he ate a bullet. Basically he created a microscopic robot that he put in his bloodstream that copied his DNA and would move into the DNA of others. Since he was an organ donor, he managed to infect two individuals with his tainted organs, and those two people began to give blood donations, spreading the Palmer Addley bug. One of War Machine's people figures this out and rushes to the base to tell him that if they could incarcerate the two individuals with Palmer's tainted organs, they'd be able to keep Addley from spreading any further. War Machine tells his co-worker that his team had managed to capture one of the two organ recipients, so War Machine's co-worker enters the room where War Machine, two of his people and the organ recipient were and opens fire, shooting War Machine's two associates. Realizing that his co-worker was under Addley's spell, War Machine decides he was going to start fighting back against the Addley bug.

Thoughts: This is an interesting series... I can't recall reading a comic story similar to this one... And that's a good thing! The Palmer Addley story has been going on for a while now, since the first issue of this series, straight through the Fear Itself tie-in junk, and yet, I'm not bored of it. As a matter of fact, I can't help but like Addley, even though he's a dead body-snatcher... If there's one thing I can count on here, it's a solid, if unspectacular read, and this issue was no exception.

Score: 7 out of 10.See, Palmer Addley IS dead!

Green Lantern: The New Guardians #1

This is the only Green Lantern comic I am picking up from DC, and that's only because my love for Kyle Rayner outweighs my hatred of Chairman Johns... By a very slight degree... Am I looking forward to reading this? No, because it's just a continuation of Chairman Johns' rainbow corps bullshit, but for Kyle, I will suffer through this tripe.

Green Lantern: The New Guardians #1:

What Happened: The Guardians of Oa have apparently fallen and only Ganthet survived. Ganthet takes the last Green Lantern ring and heads to Earth where he gives it to Kyle Rayner... Um, this all happened before you know, right? Anyway, Kyle accepts and becomes a GL. From there, rings abandon their hosts from several other Corps and begin flying towards Earth. Kyle does some super-heroics and afterwards is suddenly met by the 6 different rings, all telling Kyle he had been chosen by their respective Corps. While Kyle is trying to figure out what the HELL was happening, representatives from 4 of the 6 Corps land on Earth and prepare to attack Kyle for “stealing” rings from their Corps.

The Good: This comic starred Kyle Rayner. THERE'S your biggest plus right there. The story was engaging. Oddly the beginning started off very similar to the way Kyle received his ring the first time. The representative from the Star Sapphires was Fatality, one of Kyle's old foes. Larfleeze wasn't in this issue. The cliffhanger was solid.

The Bad: This is a Green Lantern comic, and Geoff Johns has caused me to hate the Green Lantern franchise. Time-wise this issue moved along funny, making me unsure of how long Kyle had his ring.

The Verdict: As a fan of both Tony Bedard's writing and Kyle Rayner, this comic was a bit of a treat for me. Yes, I am a bit pissed that the color corps still exists in the new DCU, but I've come to terms with the fact that in the eyes of DC, Chairman Johns can do no wrong, and as such all of his ideas, even the terrible ones, are golden. Negativity aside, this was a good comic, one that I don't intend on dropping anytime soon.

Score: 8 out of 10.Huh, that's strange, I could swear that this has happened already...

Annihilators: Earthfall #1

Here's a comic that may hold some promise, the first issue of the second Annihilators mini-series. I'll admit, I wasn't that fond of the first Annihilators mini, but since I like the characters and the writers of this mini, I'm more than willing to give this one a shot.

Annihilators: Earthfall #1(of 4):

Summary: We open this mini up with the Annihilators(that would be Quasar, Ronan, Gladiator, Cosmo, Ikon and Beta Ray Bill) attacking a formation of Universal Church of Truth spaceships to prevent the ships from destroying the ships of a rival UCT faction. It seems with Magus dead(again) the UCT has broken into factions and are attacking each other. The Annihilators make quick work of the UCT ships and capture the leader of that band of ships, the Matriarch. Cosmo manages to catch a glimpse of something not very good in the head of the Matriarch and tells the team to teleport to the Earth immediately. The team heads to Earth and attacks a UCT cell that was operating out of Colorado. The UCT members change to their true alien forms and attack the Annihilators on sight, but are no real match for the Annihilators. The UCT members suddenly change back into their human disguises just as the Avengers arrive on the scene, making it look as if the alien Annihilators were picking on poor, defenseless humans. There was a Rocket Raccoon and Groot back-up feature in this comic as well, but upon flipping through it and seeing Mojo, it should be no surprise that I didn't bother reading it.

Thoughts: Yeah, this wasn't that good... The story itself isn't that interesting, and the cliffhanger doesn't really make all that much sense, because it should be very easy to fix. So the Avengers arrive on the scene and see the Annihilators attacking some humans. Naturally that will lead to one of those good, old fashioned superhero misunderstandings and subsequent throwdowns. But here's the thing... Quasar WAS an Avenger. That right there should head off any trouble as Quasar sees Captain America(the Avenger he was closest with during his initial Avengers run), and says, “Hey Cap, these are actually aliens! Have Iron Man or somebody else scan the area to see that we're telling the truth!” thus taking away any potential misunderstanding/fight. But of course that won't happen. The Annihilators and the Avengers will duke it out for an issue or two, before the Avengers realize the error of their way, probably after the UCT members make some sort of nefarious move, and then the heroes will all join forces to defeat the ne'er-do-wells. Hopefully things turn out a bit more exciting than that, but with the way this issue set things up, I don't have very high hopes for this series at all...

Score: 5 out of 10.Why is Cap levitating?

Secret Avengers #17

First up today, Warren Ellis' second issue on the Secret Avengers. If this issue is HALF as good as issue #16 was, I'll be one happy camper!

Secret Avengers #17:

Summary: Steve Rogers gathers the Secret Avengers(Sharon Carter, Valkyrie and War Machine) to go to Serbia to catch an evil truck... Yep, it's gonna be one of THOSE comics! The team flies towards the evil truck, but get spotted by an aircraft, which fires at the Secret Avengers Quincarrier. The Quincarrier takes damage and Sharon is forced to split the Quincarrier into three sections, one carrying her, one carrying Steve, Valkyrie and War Machine, and one that smashes into the aircraft that fired at them, taking it out. From there Steve and the team approach the truck and discover that it was being driven by some sort of robotic zombie creature. The creature launches an attack on the Secret Avengers, but they manage to deflect it and War Machine kills the zombie driver. The team discovers that the truck was sent out by some factory full of human brains that were linked together. Steve isn't happy about that, and neither am I!

Thoughts: As good as the last issue was, this one was it's polar opposite. This comic was just terrible... Evil trucks driven by robotic zombie drivers? An airplane flown by a zombie robot with a terrible British accent? Brains?? This comic was SO bad that I am officially putting this series on the dreaded three issue watch list. If things don't pick up DRAMATICALLY in three months time, I'll be jettisoning this series, because I'm not going to spend $4 a month on THIS.

Score: 2 out of 10.So long, robot-zombie guy!

Venom #7

Since I already know what happens in this comic, I'm not expecting all that much here... But Rick Remender has done a masterful job with this series, so who knows, maybe he'll surprise me.

Venom #7(Spider-Island tie-in):

Summary: This issue ties in VERY closely with Amazing Spider-Man #670 fyi. Anti-Venom is curing people of the spider-plague in a church, so the Queen sends the Spider-King, actually Venom in disguise, to kill Anti-Venom... Which actually doesn't make all that much sense if you REALLY think about it... I mean couldn't Anti-Venom simply cure Spider-King and turn him back into Steve Rogers(which is who the Queen thinks the Spider-King is)? Eh, no biggie... Venom asks his handlers how to tackle this, and they tell him to capture Anti-Venom and deliver him to Horizon Labs and Reed Richards, so Reed could hopefully fashion a cure. Flash Thompson changes his look into that of a normal person and begins to make his way through the crowd at the church to apprehend Anti-Venom. Flash tries to keep control as the symbiote reacts like a jilted lover at the site of it's former host. The symbiote reassures Flash that it liked him more and hated Eddie... HA! Anti-Venom immediately realizes that his old symbiote was present and attacks Flash, burning the symbiote with his touch. The two battle, and Anti-Venom tells Flash that the symbiote wasn't an alien, but was actually a demon that was slowly devouring Flash's soul. Anti-Venom goes on to say that Flash probably missed the symbiote when he was away from it, and looked forward to bonding with it when they were apart, things that Flash HAD been thinking to himself. Flash is horrified when he concludes that Eddie was right and forces the symbiote off of himself, at which time it races over to Eddie and begins to bond with him. Eddie panics, not wanting the “demon” to sully his soul again, and Flash realizes that he couldn't let the symbiote bond with Eddie, since doing so would destroy the Anti-Venom suit, and the potential spider-plague cure. Flash pleads with the symbiote to rejoin him, telling it that he needed it while Eddie would always fight it. The symbiote leaves Eddie and rebonds with Flash, which allows Flash to capture the unconscious Eddie and take him to Reed at the Lab. From there, Flash heads to his dying father's hospital bed just in time to make peace with his old man before he died.

Thoughts: Ooo, this comic was WAY better than I expected it to be! See, since I knew that Venom defeats Anti-Venom, I figured this comic wouldn't have anything worthwhile to say due to me already knowing what the end result was... But getting to that ending was a whole load of fun! Eddie's words to Flash, and Flash's doubts were perfectly portrayed here. I mean here was Eddie Brock, the man who wore the Venom symbiote longer than anybody, telling Flash everything that he had already been thinking about the symbiote. How he enjoyed the power it gave him. How he hated giving it up. How he looked forward to the next mission where he'd be wearing it. And Flash's reaction was great, to force the symbiote off of himself. I loved the symbiote's reaction after that point too. It made a beeline for it's real “love”, Eddie, and tried to force itself onto him. Finally there was Flash's awesome reaction to THAT, telling the symbiote that he needed it, since he did need it to complete the mission. Flash pleading with the symbiote makes you ask yourself, did Flash really beg the symbiote to come back because he wanted to complete the mission, or was he actually afraid of losing the power the symbiote gave him? Rick Remender did a wonderful job of blurring the line between Flash being a dutiful soldier doing anything to complete his mission, as well as showing Flash as a junkie afraid that he wasn't going to get that next fix. This issue did a fantastic job of further developing the characters of Flash Thompson, Eddie Brock AND the symbiote! And here I thought this was going to be a simple throwaway comic!

Score: 9 out of 10.That's right Flash, you're addicted to Venom! Kind of like me...

Justice League Dark #1

Let's take a look at the comic book that sounds like it should be a candy bar, Justice League Dark! Hmm, you know, I could go for some dark chocolate Raisinets right about now...

Justice League Dark #1:

What Happened: The Enchantress is losing her mind and throwing all sorts of unstable magic spells around. Superman, Wonder Woman and Cyborg go to stop her but are unable to cope with her magic and are defeated. Zatanna decides to go after the Enchantress against the wishes of Batman, and Madame Xanadu contacts Shade The Changing Man and tells him he needs to collect several other mystic individuals to deal with the Enchantress.

The Good: Hmm, not much to be honest with you... I guess the storyline holds some potential. A series that has both Zatanna AND John Constantine in it can't be all bad...

The Bad: This issue was as confusing as all hell. It had random cloned woman getting run over by cars, people babbling gibberish, and all sorts of other weird happenings. We really didn't learn all that much about the characters who are starring in this series.

The Verdict: I WANT to like this series SO bad... I really do. I mean it's right in my wheelhouse, what with the magic, and Zatanna and stuff... But this issue just didn't do it for me, which means it too will be put on the dreaded 3 more issues list... If things don't pick up by issue #3, it'll be so long, good-bye JLD.

Score: 4 1/2 out of 10.At least Constantine said “bollocks”...

Ultimate Spider-Man #2

I was lukewarm on the introduction of Miles Morales as the new Ultimate Spider-Man last issue, but I'm still willing to give him a shot. He's a likable character, but some of the story elements from last issue just didn't work for me. With Miles origin out of the way, here's hoping things pick up this issue.

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #2:

Summary: After being bit by a spider last issue, young Miles Morales has suddenly gained various super-powers. After using a few of these powers(shock powers and invisibility), Miles runs to his friend's house and confides in his friend that he may be a mutant. Miles and his friend talk and talk and talk and talk... Then Miles dad comes by to pick Miles up and they talk and talk and talk and talk and... Okay, to be honest, by this point I began to just flip through the pages of this comic because I was bored nearly to tears. This one ends with Miles friend texting him that Spider-Man got his powers from a spider-bite, and Miles realizes that he wasn't a mutant was was a... um, Spider-Man.

Thoughts: Good GOD does Bendis LOVE useless dialogue!!!!!! It's horrible!! Where a normal writer would have Miles simply tell his friend, “I was bitten by a spider!” and Miles friend would respond with something similar to, “Wow, that sucks, are you okay?”. In Bendis-land, that conversation goes on for several panels and ends with Miles friend REPEATING, “You got bit by a spider?” at the end of the conversation... After it had been established, PARAGRAPHS ago that YES, he was bitten by a goddamn spider!!! And then there was the conversation between Miles and his father... It went on for six pages and those pages? They were FULL of useless dialogue... What could have been said in maybe 2 pages(Miles Dad: “I used to be a small-time crook with your uncle, but after having you, I stopped with the crime, but my brother is still stealing stuff.”) took SIX pages!!! Listen, a good comic book has three main facets... #1 is a great story. #2 is great dialogue. And #3 is great art. In that order. Terrible dialogue or awful art can kill a good story, and sadly, I think that's what's happened here. The dialogue just ruined this series for me. I'll give this series one more issue, and if Bendis can't control himself? I'll be dropping it.

Score: 1 out of 10.Did you ever wonder how somebody could say something but not really be saying anything? Read a Bendis written comic book and you'll understand.

Ultimates #2

Wow, I busted out 81 posts last month, 70 of which were comic reviews! That's the most posts I've done in a month since May of 2009! How wild is that?! Anyway, that's last month, let's look at this month... I have one DC comic and a trio of Marvel comics on tap for today, with the Marvel books consisting of two Ultimate titles and the latest issue of Venom(which was spoiled in Amazing Spidey #670, thank you very much Marvel...). First up? The second issue of the new look Ultimates.

Ultimate Comics Ultimates #2:

Summary: This issue begins with a story of Reed Richards' EVIL Future Foundation that was built in a city where time moved ultra quick. After about a millennium of development(but only something like 5 minutes normal time), the FFers emerge from their city intent on taking over the Earth(or something similar). They immediately run into Thor and the European super-soldiers, and needless to say, it's on. Meanwhile, Tony Stark is resuscitated after the bombing last issue and is told by Nick Fury to get to Germany where the Thor/FF battle was raging. The FFers realize that Thor was powerful enough to cause them trouble, so Reed orders his group to take the battle to Asgard and destroy the gods there. Most of the European super-soldiers retreat and Thor, along with the French super-soldier(?!), head to Asgard, which was being decimated by the FF's forces. Upon arriving, the battle is nearly lost, and when Odin falls, Thor races to his bedchamber, gives his son his hammer and hides the boy in the World Tree since Thor feared this was Ragnarok. Thor and Loki attack the FF's forces but fall, and the FFers destroy the source of the Asgardians godly powers. This issue ends with Iron Man arriving on the scene to catch Thor as he fell from Asgard, which was in ruins.

Thoughts: I hate the idea of the Future Foundation in the 616 Marvel Universe, so it goes without saying that I hate it HERE as well! So the FF and Reed are evil here... Meh and meh. Can't Jonathan Hickman write a story where Reed Richards ISN'T the catalyst? Plus it's hard for me to see a bunch of genetically altered humans from 1,000 years in the future destroy Asgard with such ease after reading month after month of Asgardian carnage in Fear Itself. Yeah, yeah, different Universes and all, but it's still a hard pill to swallow. The only thing that can redeem this story is for Thor's son to emerge from the World Tree as an ass-kicking teenage god. That I would enjoy seeing. But the FF? Not so much.

Score: 6 out of 10.“Hey kid, get in that tree!”