New Comic Day! May 18th Edition.

Hey X-Maniacs, it's Wednesday, meaning it's time for yet another installment of the blog post that's sweeping the known universe, New Comic Day! We'll do this the same way we usually do this, by first taking a look back at last week before moving onto which books I picked up for this week. Last week the comic I was most looking forward to was REBELS #28, and it came away with a perfect score. Unfortunately that was the final issue of REBELS, but hey, that just proves that the powers-that-be over at DC are a bunch of sorry clowns. Last week's Runt of the Litter, or the comic I was least looking forward to, was FF #3 and it surpassed my low expectations, with me giving it an above average score of an 8 out of 10.

So there we go, that was last week, what's on tap for this week? Earlier today I picked up the following comics... Batman and Robin #23, Batman: Gates of Gotham #1, Fables #105, Hellblazer #279, Justice League of America #57, Outsiders #39, Supergirl #64, Superman/Batman #84, Teen Titans #95, Zatanna #13, Amazing Spider-Man #661, Avengers #13, Avengers Academy #14, Generation Hope #7, Hawkeye: Blindspot #4, Invincible Iron Man #504, Namor Annual #1, Silver Surfer #4, Thunderbolts #157, Uncanny X-Force #10, X-23 #10, X-Factor #219 & X-Men: Prelude to Schism #2. 23 comics?! Sheesh, that's excessive even by my standards... Anyway, I had a bit of difficulty deciding on this week's Pick of the Litter... I was pretty sure it would be Batman and Robin #23, which features the return of Jason Todd... And then I saw that Hawkeye: Blindspot #4 was in this week's pile... So after some thought, I have to go with Hawkeye: Blindspot for this week's pick. That mini-series has been absolutely fantastic from the beginning, and with this issue giving us the final confrontation between Hawkeye and Baron Zemo, how could I NOT pick this? This week's Runt of the Litter was a very easy choice... It's Supergirl #64, hands down. I'm thisclose to dropping this series, and another bad showing here will probably be the last straw for me. And that's it. Another week in the books. I'll post the Random Scan of the Week, and then it's time to read some comics! Until next time, X out!

The Random Scan of the Week!This'll probably be the last new REBELS post I put on the blog in a long time...

In Memoriam: REBELS #28...

I'm going to do this post differently than all of my other posts... Why? Because I've already said my piece on this wonderful series(just check out my thoughts on REBELS #27 if you don't believe me), and I know if I try to review this comic like I would any other book, I'll end up going on another extended rant against DC. No, I'm not even going to review this comic. Why should I? Whatever I say isn't going to change the fact that the best book DC is... pardon me, was putting out is gone. Instead, I'll post the score and a scan from this comic, as well as the scores and links to every single REBELS review I've done on this blog. Before I end this, a huge thank you to Tony Bedard(and Claude St. Aubin), who have provided me with 28 masterful comic books that I'll enjoy reading time and time again. That's all I can bear to say...

REBELS #28: Writer: Tony Bedard. Penciller: Claude St. Aubin. Inker: Robert Campanella. Colorists: Rich & Tanya Horie. Letterer: Travis Lanham. Cover Art: Aaron Lopresti. Assistant Editor: Darren Shan. Editor: Brian Cunningham. I just wanted to list everybody who worked on this one as a thank you...

Score: 10 out of 10.Good-bye, Lyrl...

REBELS #1: Score: 7 out of 10.
REBELS #2: Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.
REBELS #3: Score: 7 out of 10.
REBELS #4: Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.
REBELS #5: Score: 7 out of 10.
REBELS #6: Score: 7 out of 10.
REBELS #7: Score: 7 out of 10.
REBELS #8: Score: 9 out of 10.
REBELS #9: Score: 9 out of 10.
REBELS #10: Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.
REBELS #11: Score: 8 out of 10.
REBELS #12: Score: 8 out of 10.
REBELS #13: Score: 10 out of 10.
REBELS #14: Score: 9 out of 10.
REBELS #15: Score: 7 out of 10.
REBELS #16: Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.
REBELS #18: Score: 10 out of 10.
REBELS #19: Score: 10 out of 10.
REBELS #20: Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.
REBELS #21: Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.
REBELS #22: Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.
REBELS #23: Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.
REBELS #24: Score: 9 out of 10.
REBELS #25: Score: 9 out of 10.
REBELS #26: Score: 9 out of 10.
REBELS #27: Score: 9 1/2 out of 10.
Average Series Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.

A venomous rant about REBELS #27.

This post is something that I really need to get off my chest, so to be quite honest, it's more for me than anybody who might read it, and let's face it, nobody was/is going to read it anyway. Past experience has taught me that fact well. Comment or don't, I really don't care, because I won't be reading the comments anyway. This post is for me, and me alone. A little bit of therapeutic ranting is just what the doctor ordered for me...

REBELS #27:

Summary: This issue gets started with a knockdown, drag out WAR between Lobo and Starro's top lieutenant, Smite. Smite has killed thousands of the universe's top fighters as he subjugated worlds for his lord, Starro, while Lobo is Lobo, so yeah, they have one hell of a fight. While those two are tearing across Psion, Rann has been overrun by Starro's starfish, and only a small band of Tamaranians, led by Starfire's sister, Blackfire, are left to try to halt the starfish wave from spreading any further. Blackfire manages to lead her defenses to the location of Rann's leadership, but discovers that she was too late, and that the rulers of Rann had already fallen to Starro. At that moment, Vril Dox(Still my hero) enters the room wearing one of Starro's starfish on his face. Dox tells Blackfire to surrender to Starro, but she refuses, which brings Starro himself into the room! Uh-oh! Meanwhile, Dox's son, Brainiac 3 has managed to bring Tribulus back to life with an upgrade... Thanks to Brainiac 3, Tribulus's psionic lightning is now capable of short-circuiting Starro's starfish, safely freeing anybody wearing a starfish, making Tribulus the ultimate weapon against Starro. After that, Brainiac 3 contacts Adam Strange(who was heading to Psion to find Lobo and rescue Dox) and informs him that Rann was being devastated by Starro and company. Strange takes Starfire and Captain Comet and zeta-beams the three of them back to Rann, while the rest of LEGION continue to Psion. As for Lobo and Smite, their battle is too even for one to emerge victorious. Eventually they crash through a wall of a Psion bar, and decide to halt their fight to have a beer... Um, okay... Back on Rann, Starro and Dox are about to put Blackfire down for good when Starfire, Strange and Comet arrive on the scene, attacking Starro en masse, while Tribulus roams the streets of Rann frying all of Starro's starfish at the beshest of Brainiac 3, ending this issue.

Thoughts: Dear Dan Didio, Chairman Johns and the rest of the DCU “braintrust” (and I use THAT term as loosely as humanly possible). I hate you all. Love, X. This was seriously one of the toughest reviews I've ever had to write, and it took me a good 40 minutes to type it out... As for why it took me so long, I had to keep pausing to refrain myself from the overwhelming rage that was threatening to consume me... You see, REBELS IS the BEST comic coming out of DC. Period. I mean that with every fiber of my being, from the bottom of my heart. This is the second to last issue of REBELS before it gets canceled. I was trying REALLY hard not to go off on an epic rant here, but you know what? Why the hell SHOULDN'T I rant? Seriously, if ever I deserved an opportunity to just blow up, this is that time. As for this issue, what can I really say? To be honest, why the hell SHOULD I say anything? It's not like it matters ONE goddamn iota what I say anyway. It never did. Everything I've ever said about this series all means absolutely nothing anyway. I don't even know if I'll bother reviewing REBELS #28 next month when it drops. What the hell is the sense? I've been pleading with anybody within earshot to give this series a try since pretty much issue #7 onward. It's consistently been one of the highest scored comics I've reviewed these past few years. I started the whole Picto-Review idea in order to showcase this comic. That's right, REBELS was the only reason I ever did those stupid Picto-Reviews, and that was only because I was hoping actually SEEING what was in these comics would lead to a few people commenting and saying, “Hey, this looks pretty good. Maybe I'll give it a shot.” Instead, old X gets a swift kick in the balls and his favorite DC series(by a MILE) gets canned. So yeah, enjoy Chairman Johns' vision of the DCU everybody. I hope you all like bullshit stories full of multi-colored Lanterns and Hal Jordan and Barry Allen receiving verbal blow jobs, because that's what you ALL deserve. Those of you who are reading and enjoying comics like Power Girl, Booster Gold, Zatanna, Supergirl, Secret Six, Batgirl, Gotham City Sirens, Titans and any other books outside of Johns and Didio's personal realm of favorites, THIS will be your fate in a few months. Mark my words. And you know what? I'll be laughing my ass off as each and every one of those books get canceled so we can get a Larfleeze ongoing, or maybe an Indigo Lantern series. How epic will THAT be? A Indigo Lantern ongoing... Am I bitter? Fuck yeah I am. But in a way I'm also happy. I'm happy because I know that in time plenty more of you will be in the same boat I'm in. Sure, the brain-dead, “Rah, rah, everything Johns writes is GRRRREAT!” fanboys will be happy, because they don't know any better, but the other DC fans, the fans who actually have the AUDACITY to purchase books that DON'T have the name “Johns” on the cover, you'll all feel my pain in due time. So yes, I'm happy because I KNOW that your favorite books will eventually be canceled too. And THAT tickles the hell out of me. One day more people will realize how fucked-up DC's direction has become these past several years(starting with the return of Hal Jordan), especially as more and more good, but lower selling comics are canned. You'll be left with a DCU that consists of nothing but the fucking Rainbow Lanterns and a Flash who should have stayed dead, and by then it'll be too late. I take great solace in the fact that sooner or later you'll all be in the same boat as I am. This is only the beginning... Before I end this hate-filled post, I first want to say thanks to Tony Bedard, Andy Clarke, Claude St. Aubin, Scott Hanna and everybody else who was behind this series. The sooner all of these talented men get the fuck out of DC and go to Marvel, Image, Dark Horse, ANYWHERE but DC, the better. Because with each passing month, it's becoming more and more obvious that there is NO future for DC Comics, simply a return to a pathetic past. That's it. I'm done.

Score: 9 1/2 out of 10.Better luck in the next LEGION/REBELS series, Dox...

Quick Hits: 3/24/11

I said I'd have to get a move on with these reviews, especially in light of earlier today's rather... enthusiastic trip to the comic book shop. I mean those 20 something comics I picked up aren't gonna review themselves, so here are the last couple of comics that I needed to review from last week. Next on the agenda, THIS week's books!

Iron Man 2.0 #2:

Summary: The mystery of Palmer Addley continues here with the(thought to be) dead Palmer possessing a US soldier and making him don a suicide bomber's vest to kill several other US soldiers in Iraq. War Machine(who has been tasked with solving the riddle of how Palmer is striking from beyond the grave) heads to Suzi Endo, a world class computer expert(and possible ex of Rhodey's). Suzi manages to track the signal that set off the bomber's vest to a location in Russia, which is where Rhodey flies to. Rhodey finds an abandoned warehouse and upon further inspection discovers a whole mess of dead Russian soldiers pinned to a wall. Rhodey catches a glimpse of somebody out of the corner of his eye and pursues them, but winds up getting hit with a monster virus, which completely shuts down his armor. While laying face down, somebody walks up to the helpless War Machine and tells him to go back to the States and tell his bosses that Palmer Addley is dead. Suzi, who was keeping an eye on Rhodey after he left, manages to reboot Rhodey's hydraulic system, which gets him up off the ground, before telling him to get out of the warehouse as soon as he could. Rhodey tries to drag himself out the door, but is caught in a huge explosion before he could get clear. This issue ends with War Machine laying wrecked in a massive crater.

Thoughts: First things first, I do enjoy a good mystery. And this story is giving us a good mystery. I'm as lost as Rhodey when it comes to Palmer Addley, and how he's doing what he's doing. So yes, the story here is very good. BUT(you had to see that coming!), I don't know who many of the characters are in this series... I have NO clue who Suzi Endo is, and what her relationship to Rhodey is. I'm guessing they were an item once, but I'm not sure. That's more on me than Nick Spencer though, because I really never followed Iron Man(or War Machine) until very recently. The bottom line though is that I'm enjoying this comic, and look forward to learning more about the mystery of Palmer Addley.

Score: 8 out of 10.I hope the speech is at least interesting...


REBELS #26:

Summary: Last issue ended with Lobo killing one of Starro's lieutenants, Storm-Daughter. While Starro is more concerned with hiding the Lobo clones he had under the Psion homeworld, his other lieutenant, Smite, wants Lobo to pay for the murder. Starro decides to take the starfish off of Dox's face to find out how to beat Lobo, but Dox simply taunts Starro because he's AWESOME. Starro gets tired of hearing Dox, so he sticks th starfish back on Dox's face(HA!). Back on the planet Rann, Starro's forces are slowly beginning to overrun the planet, with Starro's mind controlling starfish attaching themselves to Adam Strange's daughter, as well as his father-in-law. Smite decides to program all of the Lobo clones the Psion's had created with the memory of how Lobo destroyed their homeworld of Czarnia, figuring the best way to beat Lobo was with an army of Lobos. Starro nixes this idea, since he didn't want to risk losing control of the Lobo clones. Smite gets sick of Starro and decides to face Lobo himself, so he could avenge Storm-Daughter's death. With Smite occupying Lobo, Starro tells all of his mind controlled Psion's to move the Lobo clones to a safer place, while he takes the mind controlled Dox to Rann to finish conquering that world. Back on Rann, Dox's son, Brainiac 3(Lyrl Dox) learns that most of Rann has been conquered by Starro's forces, meaning it was up to him to revive the near dead Tribulus to mount some kind of offensive against Starro before it was too late.

Thoughts: *sigh* I honestly can't believe this series is going to be canceled in a few short months... I say this as somebody who reads a LOT of comic books monthly(if you don't believe me, just check out any of my New Comic Day posts!), both DC and Marvel, so I'm not saying this lightly, REBELS is THE best comic coming out of DC, and probably one of the top 5 comics I read every month. As always, Tony Bedard's story was fantastic and the art was great as usual. I don't know what more to say. I'd implore people to read this comic book, but by this point it's too little too late. Before I go on a wicked rant against my fellow comic fans, and the DC hierarchy, I think it would be best to just end this review right now...

Score: 9 out of 10.That top panel made me literally laugh out loud!


Red Robin #21:

Summary: Okay, let me just say right now that there is NO earthly way I can even begin to review this comic book. It was THAT bad... All I'm going to say is that Red Robin seems to FINALLY have managed to shut down the Unternet by dooming the Madmen to live out their lives as lunatics... Oh, and in the end it appears that Anarky(Lonnie Machin) somehow manages to keep a sliver of the Unternet alive...

Thoughts: All I have to say about this comic book is this: THANK GOD this storyline is FINALLY over!!!!! This Unternet business was just a massive headache where I understood every third page. Now hopefully Fabian Nicieza can get off this Unternet kick he's apparently on so we can get some good Red Robin stories, like we used to before the Unternet junk came to the forefront.

Score: 1 1/2 out of 10.Something happened here. The end.


Birds of Prey #10:

Summary: After Calculator “killed” Oracle last issue by blowing up her helicopter, he decides to kill Huntress, Dove(good!) and Lady Blackhawk. Before he can get the job done though, Black Canary arrives on the scene, apparently not selling the mental abuse Mortis delivered to her last issue. This gives Huntress, Dove and Blackhawk the chance to break out of their bonds, while Hawk also shows up to lend a hand. Calculator tries to get away, but is caught by Huntress, who lets him go, but not before telling him that by killing Oracle he'd be facing the full wrath of the entire super-hero community. After all the Calculator stuff is taken care of, we head to the Batcave, where we learn Oracle is still alive(duh). She tells Batman(Bruce Wayne), Batman(Dick Grayson), Red Robin, Batgirl, and that worthless pain in the ass Misfit that she was still alive, but that she would only be working with them from this point forward, since too many bad guys had learned of her existence. And that's pretty much that.

Thoughts: Eh. It's not like this comic was bad or anything, it just didn't do anything to impress me. I like that Oracle faked her death, since that does take her off the radar of the villains, thus making the villains a bit more sloppy, but the rest of this issue was meh. I still hate that Hawk and Dove are on this team, it was never really explained how Black Canary managed to escape Mortis's mental torture, and Huntress letting Calculator go bothered me(even though I get why she did it). Plus I had to see Misfit, which always puts me in a bad mood. So yeah, this wasn't a bad comic, but it definitely wasn't something I'd want to spend a whole mess of time talking/thinking about.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.Now THAT is a big gun!


X-Factor #217:

Summary: Rictor, Madrox, Shatterstar and Longshot head to the graveyard where Jameson's general friend was killed a few issues back to see if Longshot could use his powers to “see” who shot the general. Meanwhile, Monet and Strong Guy come across some people protesting mutants and Muslims and begin to debate them. Mayor Jameson soon arrives on the scene and ALSO begins to debate... Ugh. Longshot manages to see who shot the general, and Rictor uses a facial recognition program to create a picture of the woman. Madrox sends the woman's picture to the other members of X-Factor, and Monet and Strong Guy spot the woman in the crowd of protesters heading towards Jameson. Strong Guy gets in front of her, and she shoots him through the chest with her finger(which fires some sort of energy bullets). With the crowd now panicked, a secondary sniper from above sets her sights on Jameson.

Thoughts: I didn't like this issue AT ALL! It was WAAAAY too preachy for my tastes. I like my politics on my TV(so I don't have to watch it!) and my entertainment in my comic books. Sure, some comics can get across a political message in a clever, non-browbeating sort of way, but this comic just irked me. And I say that as somebody who AGREES with the message Peter David was delivering through Monet and Mayor Jameson! Even still, I didn't think the protest scenes had any place in this comic, and it REALLY hurt my enjoyment of this usually good series.

Score: 2 1/2 out of 10.Please, let's not get into the Longshot/Shatterstar relationship again...


Batman #708:

Summary: Batman(Dick Grayson) is still suffering the aftereffects of being stabbed by Azrael and his magical sword. Don't ask me when that happened, because I have no clue. After a restless night sleep in which Dick was plagued by dreams of a circus performer from Haley's Circus being beaten to death(which he has NO memory of), Dick heads out after hearing about some lunatic running rampant in Gotham. Dick arrives on the scene and sights a floating man throwing fire and swords at all of the “sinners” he sees around him. Red Robin and Catwoman arrive on the scene to help, but the madman is too much for them, as he batters them with his myriad of powers. Azrael arrives on the scene and tells the madman to stop, revealing that the guy was named the Crusader. Azrael tells the Bat-members not to worry about Crusader, since he always listened to Azrael, but Dick wants Crusader taken to prison for all the damage/death he caused. Azrael says no, and vanishes with Crusader in a puff of smoke and fire. From there we head just outside of Gotham where we learn Ra's Al Ghul was enhancing the powers of some guy named Fireball so he'd be able to destroy all of Gotham. It appears that Azrael, Crusader and Fireball are working for Al Ghul, and are testing the heroes of Gotham. If the heroes fail the test, then Al Ghul intends on destroying the entire city.

Thoughts: This is actually the beginning of a crossover with at least Red Robin, and possibly Gotham City Sirens(even though that's just a guess on my part). I have to admit, I've never cared for this new Azrael, plus I don't know who Crusader and Fireball are... I have no idea when Dick was stabbed by Azrael, or what the deal with Dick's weird dreams were. So there were a lot of things I just couldn't enjoy here, because I had no clue what was going on! I did like seeing Ra's towards the end of this issue, because he is one of my favorite Bat-villains. But besides that, there were just too many times I sat back and had no idea what I was reading.

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.What's a Batman review without the obligatory shirtless Dick Grayson pic?

Quick Hits: 2/19/11

Hey all, it's yet another installment of Quick Hits, this time a jam-packed, all-DC edition. We have 5 reviews to get through, and one of them is my undisputed FAVORITE DC comic. There are very few comics that bring a smile to my face the moment I see them, but REBELS is one of those comic books. And luckily for me, I get to do my monthly REBELS review now! I figure my best move would be to start off with REBELS, which should put me in a good mood before I move on to the other comics I've decided to read today. The only problem with that strategy is that after that first review, the only direction left to go is down...

REBELS #25:

Summary: Starro's two lieutenants continue their sneak attack from last issue with Smite taking out Vril Dox's most powerful LEGION member(not named Lobo), Tribulus, while Storm-Daughter captures Dox. LEGION tries to respond, but by the time Capt. Comet and Starfire respond, Dox and his two assailants are gone, and Tribulus is laid out in the street in a pool of blood. The rest of LEGION gather around Tribulus and Adam Strange decides that their best move was to immediately take the battle to Starro and rescue Dox. Lobo doesn't care to take orders from Strange and leaves on his own, wanting to find Storm-Daughter, who he mistook for a fellow Czarnians. Strange is initially infuriated by Lobo's actions, but Wildstar reminds Strange that she can also track individuals across the universe and offers to follow Lobo. Strange orders a Rannian officer to scour the city to make sure Starro didn't leave any of his starfish behind, and tasks Lyrl Dox(who demands to be referred to as Brainiac 3)with fixing Tribulus up before taking flight. Dox is presented to Starro himself by Smite and Storm-Daughter, and immediately deducts that Starro had conquered the Psion's homeworld. Starro threatens to put one of his mind-sapping starfish on Dox's face, but Dox buys time by telling Starro that the full wraith of LEGION would come down on him and he'd be summarily defeated. Starro decides to show Dox why he wasn't concerned, revealing that the Psion's had been cloning Czarnians before he conquered them, meaning he'd have an army of Lobos under his command. Dox is initially horrified at the prospect of Starro leading an army of Lobo clones, before he deduces that if Starro could control the Lobo clones he'd have already set them loose. With that last insult, Starro affixes a starfish on Dox's face(!), rendering him a mindless slave to Starro. From there we discover that Starro did indeed leave several starfish on Rann, and that they had already begun taking over many Rannian soldiers. This issue ends with Lobo arriving on the Psion homeworld and calling out Storm-Daughter. Storm-Daughter douses herself with some Czarnian pheromones and heads out to seduce Lobo again, but is surprised to see Lobo wearing a nose clip, thus negating the pheromones. Storm-Daughter moves to sap Lobo of his power, and Lobo responds by driving his hook through her skull!

Thoughts: And this issue once again affirmed what I've been saying. REBELS is the BEST comic coming out of DC. Batgirl is right up there, but if forced to choose between the two books, REBELS wins out every time. Where do I even begin? Starro trying(and thus far failing)to control the Lobo clones with his starfish, the massive battle in the opening pages, Starro beginning a quiet invasion of Rann with Adam Strange off-world to rescue Dox, Lyrl demanding to be called Brainiac 3(which got a rather hardy laugh out of me!), Dox getting his mind taken away(!!), and of course Lobo taking out one of Starro's top lieutenants with one mighty blow. Next issue should be INSANE, especially when Lobo realizes that the Psions had been cloning him, thus creating Czarnians. You KNOW how Lobo is going to react when he sees the clones... He doesn't proudly call himself the last Czarnian for nothing! Besides that, we have Vril Dox, possibly the smartest character in ALL of the DCU(yep, even smarter than Lex Luthor)having his mind stripped away by Starro. With Dox's mind shut down, there's nobody left to control Tribulus(who was under Dox's constant mental control). That fact could lead to two possibilities... One, Tribulus wakes up and goes on one hell of a rampage, tearing through Rann, or two, Lyrl... I mean Brainiac 3, finds a way to take control of Tribulus like his father had done and uses Tribulus to escape from his father's watchful eye. Whew! I could keep going, but I still have other comics to cover, so let me end this REBELS review now!

Score: 9 out of 10.Wow, I sure as hell didn't see that one coming!


Batman and Robin #20:

Summary: We kick things off with Bruce, Dick, Tim, Damian and Alfred sitting down at Wayne Manor to watch the Mark of Zorro... Um, okay... I guess... From there Dick heads to some opera performance and is nearly hit by a man with some weird wings affixed to his back plummeting to his death. Dick(as Batman)and Damian(as Robin, naturally)head to the morgue with Commissioner Gordon to look at the body. Damian gets roughed up by Gordon(what in the BLUE HELL is going on here?!?), before Dick and Damian see that the dead man had burned off his fingerprints as well as his footprints. Since the man's face was pretty battered from falling eighty stories, Dick takes some pictures of his head with the hope being that the computers at the Batcave could digitally reconstruct his face, thus identifying the dead man. From there Dick and Damian head to the spot where the man jumped(fell?) from and find a suicide note. Damian figures that would close the case, but Dick says it's never that easy and on cue, Man-Bat suddenly attacks the duo, ranting about saving his children from the light. Dick and Damian manage to put the crazed Man-Bat down and out, and hundreds of... oh hell... glowing white bats fall from the sky laying all around the Dynamic Duo and the fallen Man-Bat.

Thoughts: Okay, if those glowing bats are what I think they are then I'm going to be PISSED! And I mean pissed in all caps! When it's in all caps you KNOW I'm serious! I DO NOT want my Bat-books crossing over with the utter garbage that is Brightest Day. Please let those glowing white bats be ANYTHING other than what they seem to be. But of course Peter Tomasi is writing this(as well as co-writing the abomination that is Brightest Day), meaning that my fears are probably true. Damn it... Anyway, before the white bat nonsense, this comic was moving along rather well. Sure, the opening scene made ZERO sense(what the HELL was that supposed to show us? That Bruce is warm and fuzzy now? We know!), but I was enjoying the mystery of that guy's death. I'd have scored this comic way higher, but that potential Brightest Day link really drove down my enjoyment of this one.

Score: 6 out of 10.Damian may have been trained by the League of Assassins, Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne, but how could he hope to defeat the terrible skill of Commissioner Gordon?!


Gotham City Sirens #19:

Summary: After learning of the way Talia manipulated her last issue, Zatanna decides to take Talia down. The two do some quick sparring before Talia decides it's time to leave and fires two missiles at the Siren's headquarters, where Catwoman had been captured and tied up. Zatanna manages to save Catwoman with a force field, but that distraction gives Talia the chance to escape. Later on, Catwoman is prowling the night and Zatanna heads over to offer an apology. Catwoman doesn't even want to hear it, but Zatanna explains that she'll go away the moment Catwoman at least listens to her. Zatanna explains that while she was in Catwoman's head she saw Catwoman's anger and resentment at the way Bruce would often treat her, and offers to have Catwoman forget all about her romantic feelings for Bruce. Catwoman nearly says yes but in the end declines and heads to the Siren's new headquarters, an abandoned arboretum. Catwoman is naturally bummed and Harley Quinn offers to listen to her problems. Catwoman tells Harley about all of the times Batman would be with her, and yet be a million miles away mentally. These words cause Harley to realize that Joker was the same distant way with her, and she storms away. Catwoman and Poison Ivy track Harley to an abandoned amusement park and tell her to calm down before she does something rash. Instead of calming down, Harley tosses some Joker-bombs at her two Siren teammates and declares that she was going off to kill Joker for all of the crap he put her through.

Thoughts: Hey, I really enjoyed this comic! The battle between Talia and Zatanna was over WAY too quickly, especially since last issue built to it, and Harley's decision to kill Joker was kind of out of the blue, but everything else here really worked for me. I guess I can understand Harley's impetuous actions, since that's kind of her nature, but you'd think this would be the start of a new storyline as opposed to the continuation of a storyline that seemed to have concluded this issue(the Zatanna/Talia/Catwoman)stuff. Besides those little quibbles, everything else here was good. Oh, and Talia came right out and said that Bruce was Damian's father, so there! :P

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.And this was basically all Talia did in this one...


Batman #707:

Summary: I'm going to cover this comic in broad strokes... VERY broad strokes! After saving a few people(including himself) from a Sensei created deathtrap, Batman(Dick Grayson) manages to hunt down the Sensei, with some help from I-Ching and Luki Lo. Unfortunately for Bats, Sensei has manages to find and put on the Mask of the Beholder and is throwing around god-like powers. Luckily for Bats, Luki Lo is the chosen one(or something like that, just go with it...)and can call the Mask to himself telekinetically. This angers the Sensei, who moves in to kill Luki Lo, but accidentally splits the Mask in two with his sword, ending its threat. Bats moves to apprehend Sensei, but he gets away. From there Peacock(Luki Lo's sister)gives Bats half of the Mask and keeps the other half herself, hoping that would keep the Mask from putting itself together. We end this one with the Riddler giving a woman holding Two-Face's coin(who is hidden in the shadows) some information on the Jade Compass Society, in return for some gold and the promise of information on the Riddler's past.

Thoughts: Gah! Well I WILL say this much, this issue was better than the last issue, which I couldn't even will myself into finishing. That's pretty much the only compliment I can give this comic though... There was just SO many little things going on that I either didn't remember from the last few issues, or never bothered to figure out. If I never read the names I-Ching, Sensei, Peacock and Luki Lo again, it'll be too soon...

Score: 3 out of 10.Good GOD did Riddler get ugly!


Green Lantern Corps #57:

Summary: We start things off with Firestorm coming across the battle on Qward, thus reminding me of Brightest Day and automatically putting me in a bad mood... The Thunderers, under the leadership of John Stewart try to take Sinestro down with a heavy artillery assault, but they fail miserably because none of them are named Hal Jordan, and we ALL know only Hal “I Never Went Crazy!” Jordan can come close to defeating Sinestro The Great... See, I TOLD you thinking about Brightest Day would put me in a bad mood! The Weaponer and his White Lantern powered weapon also falls to the HORRIBLE might of Sinestro The Great. Sinestro The Great calls his Sinestro Corps over to mop up the Thunderers(why? he was doing a pretty good job of that himself!), which leads to the Green Lantern Honor Guard siding with the Thunderers and trying to fend off the Sinestro Corps... Oh, and the GLC members can't use their rings against the Sinestro Corps members(and vice-verca) because of their truce, so the GLC members use guns instead.... Which DOESN'T break the truce somehow... *sigh* Firestorm finally arrives and asks Kyle Rayner(or as Chairman Johns calls him, That Bastard) why the GLC members weren't using their rings, and Kyle tells him about the truce. Since Firestorm isn't a member of the GLC, he happily tears into the Sinestro Corps members WITH his powers. Sinestro The Great finally tires of decimating everything in his path and offers to leave Qward and stop beating up the Weaponer if the Weaponer agreed to join the Sinestro Corps. Realizing that he wasn't Hal “I Never Went Crazy!” Jordan and as such could never hope to defeat Sinestro The Great, the Weaponer joins the Sinestro Corps, going from a decent new villain to yet another faceless lackey. From there Sinestro and his Corps leave and the GLC Honor Guard decide to head to Earth to deal with Krona.

Thoughts: If I could sum this issue up in a single word it would be “disappointing”. I just don't see the upswing for making the Weaponer a member of the Sinestro Corps. It just doesn't make sense to me. Now he's simply another random face in the crowd as opposed to the threat he had been built into. Firestorm basically added NOTHING to this issue, as he wandered over, blasted a few random Sinestro Corps members and then left to find Deathstorm, making this the second most useless guest appearance I've read this month(only behind Catman's unnecessary appearance in Red Robin). As for Sinestro, what more needs to be said? He defeated an entire planet, beat a man who humbled the Green Lantern Honor Guard, including a Guardian of the Universe, and strutted away, no worse for wear... I think when I want my fill of DC's space faring stories I'll stick with the FAR superior(and written by the same writer, Tony Bedard)REBELS.

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.Pfft, an army against Sinestro? I'll take Sinestro's chances!

REBELS #24

Review: We get the awesomeness started with Vril Dox having dinner with the queen of the Tamarans, Blackfire. The two discuss how well the Tamaran's move to Rann has been, as well as some other pleasantries. While that is going on, Lobo runs into Captain Comet at a Rannian bar. Comet is depressed that his relationship with Starfire is strictly sexual, since he was hoping for something more substantial. Lobo picks up on those vibes and tries to start a fight with Comet, but Comet simply leaves. Now alone, Lobo picks up the scent of a fellow Czarnian, which infuriates him, since he massacred the rest of his race. Lobo spots a hooded figure sitting in the corner and charges, but the hooded figure takes off, with Lobo in murderous pursuit. By this point Dox has left Blackfire and is returning to LEGION headquarters, rather pleased with the way things turned out with Blackfire. Back with Lobo, he manages to catch up to the “Czarnian” and discovers that it's a female. Instead of killing her, Lobo decides to make out with her, but has his strength sapped and winds up falling unconscious to the ground. From there we learn that the “Czarnian” was actually Starro's lieutenant, Storm-Daughter, who had been wearing a Czarnian pheromone which is what tricked Lobo. Starro himself enters the room and Storm-Daughter sends the strength she sapped from Lobo over to Starro, who uses it to create new Starro starfish. With Lobo temporarily taken care of, Starro begins the second phase of his plan and sends his other lieutenant, Smite, to attack Dox's ship, which ends this issue.

Thoughts: I do loves me some REBELS! This was a great set-up issue, as we learn that Starro is finally ready to take his revenge on Dox, and has already taken out one of Dox's big guns in Lobo. There were some good little character development scenes with Capt. Comet's pity party, and Dox possibly becoming romantically interested in Starfire's sister, Blackfire. THAT could have some crazy repercussions if anything was to develop there. As for complaints? It's REBELS, I don't have any!

Score: 9 out of 10.Reason #316 as to why you should be buying REBELS; Lobo is AWESOME in it!

REBELS #23

Review: We begin things here John Stewart and the two rookie Green Lanterns from the last few issues heading to Rann to meet with LEGION leader, Vril Dox. Dox has been bad mouthing the Green Lantern Corps, and has been gaining support for his LEGION peace-keeping forces, while the people of the Vega System have been unreceptive to having Green Lanterns patrolling their spaceways. After the obligatory photo op, Stewart and Dox head inside to have their meeting under the watchful eye of Adam Strange. The meeting produces nothing, as Dox refuses to change his tune, stating that the GL's bring nothing but trouble to the systems they “protect”, while Stewart threatens Dox telling him that if he kept standing in the way of the GLC, he'd find himself sitting in a jail cell on Oa. While bickering, they get word that a terrorist group was planning on destroying the main sun in the Vega System, which Dox insinuates that he knew about. Stewart sends the rookie Lanterns to deal with it, while Dox needles him, telling him that when the rookies fail, LEGION would swoop in and take care of the threat. After some thought, the rookies actually DO manage to halt the terrorist's weapon and save the sun, just as Stewart knew they could. Upon leaving the terrorist ship, the rookies are met by Kyle Rayner, Soranik Natu and Ganthet, who upgrades the rookies to full-fledged Lanterns. With the Green Lanterns saving the galaxy, Dox loses much of his leverage, and along with Stewart and Strange, he heads outside to put an end to his feud with the GLC. Later on, Dox meets up with his son, Lyrl, and complains about the fact that the Lanterns were able to halt the weapon that Lyrl had created(!). Lyrl explains that if he had made the weapon any more complex, Dox's LEGION forces wouldn't have been able to stop it, so although a bit disappointed, Dox knows that he'll have many more opportunities to discredit the GLC. Also during this issue, Starro the Conquerer and his two lieutenants head to the planet Psion, and force one of the scientists there to help Starro regain his former power so that he could take revenge against Dox.

Thoughts: As always, this was one of the highlights of my month. This was a very good comic, although Dox's plans not coming to fruition kept this a very good read, as opposed to a great read. I would have preferred it if Dox could have discredited the GLC some more, but I guess that wasn't a realistic wish. I loved the reveal that Dox had put his son up to creating the weapon, because that just hammers home the point that Dox doesn't play by the rules, and that he was willing to endanger an entire star system to see that the Lanterns get humbled. The ending, with the reemergence of Starro was great, and leaves me salivating for the next issue. By this point, I would EASILY call this the best title coming out of DC today.

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.Vril + Lyrl = The Best Comic Coming Out Of DC Today!

REBELS #22

Overall: This issue was basically a look at the Green Lantern rookie from the last few issues(the Psion one)as well as Vril Dox's media war against the Green Lantern Corps. Let's start with the Green Lantern. Much like Starfire, she had been raised a slave on her world, where her only duty was to reproduce, which was the way Psion society is run. Needless to say getting her GL ring was a blessing for her, since it freed her from her captivity. Upon meeting Starfire, the Lantern tells her what she(and her people)had been through, which leads to Starfire following the Lantern to the Psion homeworld. The Lantern takes Starfire to one of the breeding centers, and they are met by a bunch of smug Psions, who inform the two women that they had signed up for LEGION protection, meaning Starfire, as a member of Dox's LEGION, was obligated to protect the Psions, no matter what sort of atrocities they had committed. The Lantern attacks her fellow Psions, and she is soon backed up by Starfire, who ignores her LEGION responsibilities and tears into the Psions. The leaders of the planet destroy that entire section of the planet hoping to kill the two women, but they are saved by the Lantern's powers. With all of the enslaved women(as well as their captors)dead, the Lantern heads to Oa to face whatever disciplinary actions the Guardians will undoubtedly have for her, while Starfire heads back to Rann(where LEGION HQ's was located)to confront Dox. Starfire demands to know why Dox was protecting the Psions, before inquiring as to whether or not Dox was aware of the way the Psions treated their women. Dox never answers the question, but after realizing just how angry Starfire was, immediately breaks his contract with the Psions, who are none too pleased about that. This issue ends with the Psions voicing their displeasure about the destruction of one of their breeding centers, but breathing a sigh of relief that the Lantern and Starfire hadn't discovered their secret lab where they were trying to create what looked to be Lobo clones(!).

Considering this issue was about a rookie Green Lantern and Starfire, I REALLY expected to hate it. My hatred of Starfire is pretty well known, so imagine my surprise at the fact that I enjoyed this issue! The story was strong which is a good thing, and more importantly, the story made sense, especially considering Starfire's own enslavement. So while I would have preferred at least a brief Lyrl Dox appearance, this issue was WAY better than it had any right to be.

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.Wow does Starfire have some HUGE... um, hair...

REBELS #21

Overall: This issue gets started with the two rookie Green Lanterns from the end of last issue standing in front of the Guardians of the Universe trying to explain what went down between them and Vril Dox. The rookie Lanterns decided that they'd had enough of Dox throwing his weight around and as such intended on hauling him to Oa to face a multitude of charges. What the rookies didn't count on was the fact that Lobo was once again working with Dox. The two Lanterns and Lobo fight for a while until Dox has had enough time to contact several LEGION ships and camera crews to the scene. Once the cameras arrive, Dox begins to go on about the differences between his group and the Green Lantern Corps, led by the secretive Guardians. Dox then throws down the gauntlet, stating that he's tired of the Guardians deciding what was and wasn't legal in the universe, regardless of each planet's customs, basically pitting himself against the GLC. From there we head back to the present with the Guardians continuing their interrogation of the rookie Lanterns.

For the most part I thoroughly enjoyed this comic. If I had one complaint it would be the fact that the two rookie Lanterns had such a large role in things. When I want to read about the Green Lantern Corps, I'll pick up the Green Lantern Corps series. I was also a bit miffed at how Dox seemed to let his evil son off the hook by stating to the cameras that Lyrl was secretly assisting him against Brainiac. I guess Dox arresting Lyrl then and there would have been a PR nightmare, but still, Lyrl was nearly as bad as the elder Brainiac these past few issues. Besides that though, this comic was awesome! I really liked all of the shots Dox took at the Green Lantern Corps, because quite frankly, they were all true! Exactly who told the Guardians that it was okay to force their own laws and customs onto the rest of the universe? Nobody! A REBELS/GLC battle, if done right, could be pretty great stuff. On top of that, Lobo seems to have become a full time cast member here(yes!)and Dox was his regular arrogant self. Tony Bedard(the writer)even took the time to explain why Lobo had rejoined Dox and crew, seamlessly incorporating pieces of Lobo's past actions during the 52 mini-series to explain why the Main Man was in financial trouble. Here's hoping next issue has more Dox and less Lanterns.

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.I couldn't agree more!

Picto-Review: REBELS #20

REBELS #20: Writer: Tony Bedard. Pencils: Claude St. Aubin.

Just a quick note, REBELS #18 and 19 BOTH received rare perfect scores from me. Will this issue be the trifecta? Well I already know, but you should read on to find out!


We starts things off with Vril Dox bringing his secret weapon(LOBO!)to Colu, the planet his father Brainiac was in the process of conquering.


Unfortunately, by the time Dox and Lobo arrive on Colu, Brainiac has managed to wrest control of Stargrave from Dox's son Brainiac 3 and has sent the rogue star after Lobo.


The first round goes rather poorly for the Main Man...


While Lobo is busy dealing with Stargrave, Dox and his son Brainiac 3 send holographic avatars of themselves to distract Brainiac. However, Brainiac 3's avatar winds up getting shot, tipping Brainiac off to Dox's plan.


Now aware of Dox's duplicity, I'm sure Brainiac has some nefarious scheme to enact on his offspring...


And sure enough, Brainiac busts out said nefarious scheme, as he begins to drain every bit of knowledge out of Dox and his son.


Brainiac winds up outsmarting himself though as he taps into Dox's feelings towards his father and finds his mind flooded by feelings and sensations he had no way of coping with.


Unable to concentrate, Brainiac and Stargrave beat a hasty retreat while two rookie Green Lanterns decide to attempt to bring Dox in.

What I Thought: I thoroughly enjoyed this storyline. I'm an unrepentant Vril Dox fanatic, and his evil son Lyrl(Brainiac 3)has also managed to grow on me. So it was all good... Almost. I can't say I liked the way Brainiac was “defeated”. Basically Brainiac unlocked Dox's repressed feelings towards Brainiac himself, and Brainiac was unable to deal with those emotions since he had detached himself from his own emotions so long ago. So Brainiac essentially beat himself. I would have much rather seen Dox(or better yet, Lyrl)have a more active role in Brainiac's defeat. Instead Brainiac just kind of took Stargrave(and the Colu Data-Core)and left. A hollow victory for Dox to be sure, but I guess a win is a win. So from here Dox will have to decide what to do with his renegade son, as well as what looks like a potential battle between Dox(and LEGION) and the Green Lantern Corps on the horizon. It's a good time to be a REBELS fan!

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10. So the perfect score streak ends at 2, but hey, this is STILL my favorite DC comic!

Picto-Review: REBELS #19

REBELS #19: Writer:Tony Bedard. Pencils: Claude St. Aubin.

We kick things off with my hero, Vril Dox(Brainiac 2)running the hell away from his recently escaped, and extremely angry father, Brainiac.


Meanwhile, Dox's son Lyrl(Brainiac 3)decimates the defensive systems of the planet Colu, and demands they surrender the data-core of Colu to him, which would grant him control of the entire planet. Lyrl's appearance to frighten the populace of Colu also alerts Dox to his presence, as well as putting him on Brainiac's radar.


Now in full panic mode, the ruling council of Colu break out a four stooges act. Luckily for them, Dox shows up to restore some order to the situation.


Dox eventually convinces the council to destroy the data-core, which would deny Lyrl what he wanted most from Colu, so they initiate the self destruct protocol. However, the data-core doesn't explode as expected. Why is that?


Because Brainiac had managed to take control of the data-core first, and as such is now in control of the every system on Colu, including the weapon's systems. In control of Colu's arsenal of weapons, and tiring of Dox, Brainiac launches several thermo-nuclear bombs at the ruling council tower, hoping to obliterate his “son”, Dox.


Thanks to his force field(and a little help from Lyrl), Dox survives the nuclear blast and Dox and Lyrl decide to put aside their differences to defeat the elder Brainiac. Dox tells Lyrl to keep Brainiac occupied so he could get off-world to get a secret weapon of his own.


And what is Dox's secret weapon? None other then Lobo!!!

What I Thought: So last issue I gave this comic a perfect score, and looking back, it sure as hell deserved that score. This issue? It was even better! Wow. Where do I start? There was some great humor, with Dox(after being called fearless on the previous page)running away from his “father” as fast as he could, as well as the comical antics of the Colu ruling council. On top of that, the story itself is multi-faceted, but still easy to follow. Lyrl wanted to take over Colu, and gain control of the data-core, which contains 300 years of Coluian knowledge, as well as control over all of the planet's systems, while Brainiac had pretty much the same plans. As for Dox, he's stuck in the middle, and is now forced to make a deal with the lesser of the two evils, his son, even though there's NO doubt that Lyrl would stab Dox in the back at the first available opportunity. And the ending? All I can say is that's it's about time Lobo popped up in this series. Lobo was an integral part of the first LEGION/REBELS series, so getting to read about him and Dox together again is pretty much a dream come true for me. Oh, and check out the chain around Lobo's neck on that last pic I posted. Pretty cool, no? Anyway, if you're a comic fan, and you're not reading this comic, you are making a BIG mistake. The last two issues have been amazing, and more then any other monthly title(and I read A LOT of new books every month), this is the book I'll be most looking forward to next month.

Score: 10 out of 10. That's two straight perfect score. Will next month herald a third? Only time will tell.

Picto-Review: REBELS #18.

Hey wait, isn't it Sunday night? Doesn't that mean it's supposed to be time for the “Random Scan of the Week!”(copyright pending)? Don't worry, you haven't stumbled into some sort of Bizarro version of this blog where all of the posts are good and your humble blog editor isn't a blithering idiot. Nope, this is STILL the same blog you know and love(like? tolerate? loath?), the reviews are STILL crappy, and I'm STILL a blithering idiot, I'm just trying out something a bit different tonight. I'm going to review the latest issue of REBELS with pictures instead of words, which would explain the incredibly clever(and original!)title of this post. In a way this is all JT's fault... Yes, the very same JT of of the strangely captivating http://jasontoddscomicspot.blogspot.com/ (there I plugged your blog for you this time, JT!)was in a way the inspiration for this post... Sort of... Well, not really, but kind of. Anyway, JT made the mistake of asking me about Vril Dox and the Brainiac family on one of the posts on this blog, which led to a REALLY long-winded explanation(sort of like this intro...). After finishing up that comment, I started thinking about just how good REBELS #18 was, and how it really deserved a review, even if nobody would read it... But alas, I knew I didn't really have the time to do a long, boring post. It was then a brilliant(hey, I'm narrating this thing, so yes, brilliant!)idea struck me... Why not scan a few pages(no more then 7)from this comic and simply add a few captions? That wouldn't take up TOO much time(unlike this blasted intro!!!), plus I'd be able to say(to myself I guess...)that I did indeed give this comic the review it so deserved! And thus the Picto-Review was born. If this post is well-enough received then I'll try to post a few more Picto-Reviews. If not then I'll act like it never happened. I've become quite good at pretending things didn't happen... Anyway, I think that's MORE then enough of an introduction(and really, did this post even NEED an intro?), let's get on to the pretty, pretty pictures!

This issue gets underway with Lyrl Dox(son of REBELS/LEGION founder Vril Dox and grandson of Brainiac)telling his newest weapon, Pulsar Stargrave(that big star thing with the blue eye)the history of the Dox family tree.

Meanwhile, Vril brings Brainiac home to the planet Colu, where the elder Brainiac is looking forward to a lifetime spent as a drooling vegetable in penance for his MANY crimes.

After turning Brainiac over to his fellow Coluians, Vril decides to pay his “father” a final visit in order to do some good old-fashioned taunting before taking off.

Unfortunately for Vril, Brainiac isn't nearly so much a drooling vegetable as much as he is a very large, very angry super-villain. Before Vril can decide what to do about the fully coherent Brainiac, the entire planet is suddenly attacked by...

Pulsar Stargrave and Lyrl!

We end this issue with Brainiac breaking free of his bonds and deciding that 3 Brainiacs were two too many.

What I Thought: If you were able to make it through the introduction(and if you did, good for you!), I'm sure you could tell that I really enjoyed this comic. As a matter of fact, I'd call it the PERFECT jumping on point for new readers. The Brainiac history is plainly laid out, and all three generations of the Brainiac family wind up at each other's throats. This comic really had it all, some insanity from Lyrl, some evil from Brainiac, and some general jackassery from Vril. What more could you ask for? Oh yeah, there was also a back story in which Starfire decides to sleep with Capt. Comet, but only to take her mind off of how much she missed Dick Grayson, which seems to hit the love-struck Comet pretty hard, as you can see here:

And that's pretty much that. As always, comments are appreciated, since that's pretty much the only way I can tell if anybody liked this post. X out.

Score: 10 out of 10. Yup, that's right, a rare perfect score. Told you I liked this comic!

I'm still on vacation... Kind of...

Well, as you can see by the 6 new mini-reviews I posted tonight, I'm still on my vacation. Feel free to comment on any of the comics I posted about tonight, especially if you want to know more then the few brief words I posted about each. I'm not going to be posting anything new to the picture site tonight, but I promise I'll definitely have a new DC theme up for tomorrow. As for my vacation, I think I'll continue doing mini-reviews tomorrow(Tuesday)and Wednesday, and come Thursday I'll end my little blog vacation and return to doing full reviews(although I did notice that my mini-reviews are getting longer and longer as I go along!). Okay, I think that'll be all for tonight, thanks for reading, and Avengers Assemble!!!I've been meaning to post this image for a while now... There's no time like the present I guess!

The Best of the Rest!!! May 22nd edition.

It's Saturday, which means it it's time for me to give my uninformed, overly sarcastic and at times offensive opinion on comic books and their creators, that's right, it's time for a new installment of The Best of the Rest(copyright pending)!!! And yes, I am going to use that opening line EVERY single week, so get used to it! Five books to get through tonight, and much to my chagrin, I enjoyed them all! I know, what's a Best of the Rest post without a whole bunch of complaints!?! Oh well, hopefully I'll read a bunch of horrid comics for the upcoming week and next week's post will be full of venom and fun! Enough babbling X, get on with the post already! Umm, okay I will...

Brightest Day: Titans: Villains for Hire Special #1... Wow, that's a long title!: Before we get into this comic I need you all to do me a favor. Forget the Faces of Evil: Deathstroke comic, as well as the Teen Titans Blackest Night x-over stuff, because it seems as if Deathstroke sure forgot about those comics! Anywho, Deathstroke hires the Tattooed Man(who REALLY needs a better codename!), Cheshire, Osiris and some girl named Cinder to be his... well, villains for hire(as is obvious from the title here!). The 5 villains/pseudo-villains get a contract to kill the Atom(Ryan Choi, not Geoff John's beloved Ray Palmer), and after some difficulty, they do just that... That slight sobbing sound is probably Kello, just so you know. So the villains kill the Atom and Deathstroke refuses to tell his team why they are called the Titans, or what his masterplan is... Well okay then.... Score: 8 out of 10.You see, Osiris broke my number one rule, NEVER trust a one-eyed man dressed fully in spandex.

REBELS #16: This comic kicks off with Starfire attacking some of the REBELS(or are they LEGION again?)because of the good old, “super-heroes meet and have general misunderstanding” law. After Adam Strange explains that the fight was a simple misunderstanding, Starfire goes to meet Vril Dox(AKA my hero). Dox tells Starfire that since her homeworld Tamarian(Tamaria? Tamariananar?)had been blown up good, he was having the planet Rann teleported into its place. There's a very good reason for all of this, but you'll have to trust me on that, 'cause I don't feel like getting into it! In a few weeks time, Dox has managed to transform Rann from a barren wasteland to a thriving planet again. And why did he do that? Because he's awesome! Well, that plus he plans on restarting his LEGION police force, and with the people of Rann now beholden to him, he figures he can base LEGION from Rann. Starfire's insane sister Blackfire learns that another planet had appeared in Tamarian's orbit, so she decides to attack it, because she's insane and all. Oh, and somewhere along the way Starfire joins with the REBELS/LEGION team and starts to flirt with Captain Comet. Eventually Blackfire(who is insane)and her evil Tamarians attack Rann. What happens next? I'll tell you next month. Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.If I was a songwriter I'd write a song and dedicate it to Vril Dox... I really would too!

Booster Gold #32: Booster Gold was sent into the distant future by Rip Hunter(that has to be THE best porn star name EVER! Not that I know anything about porn star names... *ahem* moving on...)to retrieve the helmet of Dr. Fate so that it wouldn't fall into the hands of Darkseid. After some VERY hit or miss comedy(much like this post!), Booster winds up bringing the helmet, as well as a small girl back in time with him. It seems the small girl is there to make potty jokes, because in the DCU, nothing is funnier then toilet humor. This issue ends with Booster learning from Rip Hunter that Max Lord was alive again, which Booster is none to pleased to find out. You know, because he killed Booster's good buddy Ted Kord. Back during Infinite Crisis. In the Countdown to Infinite Crisis comic. With a gun. In a castle. There, I spelled it out for you! Score: 7 out of 10.My GOD are there a lot of words on this page!!!

Gotham City Sirens #11: This comic follows two different storylines, Catwoman and Harley Quinn hunting for missing dogs and Poison Ivy starting her first day at her new STAR Labs job. First off, you'd think somebody named CATwoman would be glad that a bunch of dogs had gone missing, but apparently not... Go figure. CW and HQ(you can always tell I'm getting close to the end of a post by how many abbreviations/initials I start to use)wind up solving the case of the missing dogs when they discover that HQ's hyenas were eating all of the neighborhood pets. Oh the humanity! Or should I say oh the hilarity? Umm, I'll go with hilarity. Oh the hilarity! In the other story, Poison Ivy arrives on the job(but obviously NOT as Poison Ivy, because that would just be dumb), and fires a few people because she read(from Lex Luthor no less)that's the way to garner respect in the corporate world. Sure, if international super-criminal Lex Luthor says that's the way to go, them by gum, that's the way to go! Eventually one of the women Ivy fired returns and locks Ivy in some sort of evil plant oven thing because she was angry about being fired. I bet THAT never happened to Lex. And well, that's the end of this issue. Will Ivy be cooked? Will Catwoman rename herself Dogwoman?? Will I end this pseudo-review with a modicum of self-respect??? The answer to all of those questions is a resounding no! Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.See, just like I said, Ivy was trapped in an evil plant oven thing.

Dark Avengers #16: I'm gonna tell you right now, NOTHING in this comic matters except for the very last page. But don't you worry, I'll get to that soon enough... This is the final issue of Dark Avengers, because Dark Reign is over and Marvel must finally be over it's love of the word “dark”. Don't you worry though, I'm not over my love of the word “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”! This issue follows Siege #4, and shows all of the Dark Avengers(except for Daken, because he's too smart)being arrested by the heroes. The villains get locked away, Steve Rogers decides to hire Victoria Hand to be his right... umm, hand woman, and Norman Osborn gets to act crazy one more time, this time blaming all of his failings on his Green Goblin persona. So that's how Dark Avengers ended. On the very last page, series writer BENDIS writes his farewell address. And he signs it, “BENDIS!”!!! That's how I've been typing his name for over a year now! This can mean one of three things... Either BENDIS is so crazy that he actually DOES sign his name in block letters with an exclamation point(as I always suspected...), that he's is a frequent reader of my blog, or that I have been BENDIS all along, and have been bashing most of my... I mean BENDIS'S comics simply to see who would agree with me... him, and then have those cretins... I mean readers destroyed. All hail the Dread Lord BENDIS!!! Score: 8 out of 10.So he really DOES sign his name "BENDIS!"... I don't know whether to laugh or cry...

REBELS #15

REBELS #15 Writer: Tony Bedard. Pencils: Claude St. Aubin.
Last Issue: 9 out of 10.

Review: We start this issue with Vril Dox complaining about the fact that Despero is looked at as a hero in the Vega sector(since Despero has decided to publicly execute Starro the Conqueror) while Dox, who was instrumental in the defeat of Starro is almost universally hated by the Vega sector planets. This point gets hammered home when an assassin attempts to murder Dox, but the assassin is quickly defeated by REBEL member, Capt. Comet. This action causes Dox to realize that he wouldn't be able to safely rebuild his LEGION forces in or around the Vega sector, so Adam Strange offers Dox an alternative. Before we get to Adam's idea, we head to a lone ship being attacked by Tamarian pirates. The pirates board the ship and demand whatever cargo the ship was carrying, but unfortunately for them, the ship is actually carrying Starfire. Starfire makes quick work of her fellow Tamarians, and decides to leave the confines of the ship, traveling to her destination under her own power. Back with Dox, he is brought to the desolate planet of Rann by Adam Strange and Sardath, Adam's father-in-law and the former ruler of the dead world. Dox looks around the dead world and tells Adam and Sardath that he'll be able to return life to Rann, provided he is given the largest Zeta-beam Sardath can create. On Kalanor, the homeworld of Despero, Starro kneels chained in an arena full of bloodthirsty Kalanorians(?), while Despero struts over with a very large sword. Before Despero can behead Starro for his crimes, Starro's top two lieutenants, Storm-Daughter and Smite arrive on the scene and rescue the fallen Conqueror before Despero can exact his revenge. This issue ends with Starfire making it to the former spot of Tamarian and crying over the destruction of her homeworld. However, while Starfire looks on in shock, another planet appears in the very spot that Tamarian once occupied, leading Starfire to hope that it was her lost world somehow returned.

What I Thought: Usually this comic is the highlight of my month, but this issue fell rather flat for me... For one, there was not NEARLY enough Dox in this issue! Just two measly scenes for one of my favorite DC characters??? Bah! I also thought the rescue of Starro was kind of unnecessary... He's been around for what seems like this entire series, I'd have been fine with him being beheaded, which could have led to Storm-Daughter and Smite going around attacking Despero and Dox for their parts in the death of their master. Another thing that really bugged me was the fact the Dox's son, Brainiac 3/Lyrl Dox didn't appear at all in this comic! It seemed that with the Starro storyline coming to an end Lyrl would be taking up the role of Dox's number one threat, but I guess not. The Starfire parts were inoffensive for the most part, but as a character, I still can't stand her. I truly feel she is one of the most boring characters around, and this issue really didn't do much to change that. Her only drawing point seems to be the fact that she is rather well endowed and that she wears little clothing... Maybe if I was still a prepubescent kid that would do it for me, but sorry, senseless TnA isn't really what I'd consider character development... Yes, I know that Rome wasn't built in a day, but I was hoping for maybe some sort of drastic character change for Starfire... Oh well, I guess there's always next issue.

Score: 7 out of 10.Now THAT is a sword!