Green Lantern: The New Guardians #6(Brightest Day Rules)

Ugh... Here's a comic that I've been actively avoiding for the past week and a half... With the small haul from the comic shop this week, I figured I might as well bite the bullet and give this comic a read... I'll be using Brightest Day Rules to score this one, so it could get ugly... REALLY ugly...

Green Lantern: New Guardians #6:

Summary: Invictus attacks the various groups of New Guardians beating them up until they are forced to regroup together. Invictus follows them(by traveling through the statues his followers built for him) and is incensed to see Glomulus... As am I, Invictus... As am I... The New Guardians attempt to take Invictus down, but he beats them all until only Saint Walker is left standing. Walker tries to use his ring to help fix/cure Invictus's mind, but is shocked to find there was nothing wrong with Invictus's way of thinking. With that, Invictus knocks Walker out. This one ends with Red Lantern Bleez trying to find Kyle for some reason.

Thoughts: You know... This wasn't a very bad comic... In all honesty, it doesn't deserve to be scored with Brightest Day Rules, but a promise is a promise, so onward we go. Right off the bat +5 for a good story, +5 for good art and +10 for no Larfleeze! So we're rolling right off the bat! -2 for Kyle somehow forcing his ring to contact the other New Guardians even though his ring initially claimed it couldn't do it. -5 for Glomulus being in this comic... Sorry, I hate that thing! -3 for the one time that Indigo Lantern said “Nok”... Seriously, why does he talk that gibberish garbage when he's not around other Indigo Lanterns?! Hell, another -1 just for making me ponder that! +3 for Invictus's bad-ass response to Fatality questioning what kind of angel he was. +2 for Arkillo calling Walker a “Blue worm”. -5 for Glomulus being part of the calvary here... See, I DO hate that thing! -3 for Saint Walker being the only Lantern left standing after the battle with Invictus... Really? Saint Walker?? +1 for the fact that Saint Walker didn't say “All will be well” in this issue. -3 because I could care less about Bleez and hate the idea that she's gonna rescue the rest of the New Guardians...

Score: 5 out of 10. Hey, check THAT out! This is one of those RARE occasions where a comic reviewed using Brightest Day Rules actually comes away with a positive score! That should tell you how great a writer Tony Bedard is(which I always knew from his REBELS work). If I wasn't using BDR's I'd have probably scored this comic at around a 7 or so, so yeah, this comic was WAY better than expected. So kudos to Bedard and the rest of the creative team on this series.


Yeah, I can definitely see myself becoming a fan of Invictus...

Green Lantern: New Guardians #5(Brightest Day Rules)

Now THIS should be fun! Seeing as that I absolutely detest Larfleeze, and would have dropped this series had my sister not asked me to keep picking it up since she was enjoying it, I'll be using Brightest Day Rules when scoring this one! What are Brightest Day Rules? Check out my prior, "What are Brightest Day Rules?" post to find out... Makes sense, no? With the explanations out of the way, let the bloodbath begin!!!

Green Lantern: New Guardians #5:

Summary: The New Guardians reach the solar system that appeared out of the blue and split up to search it. Somehow Kyle gets stuck with that annoying-ass orange construct thing... Anyway, each world is a replica of another world(Tamaran, Okaara, etc) and they are all watched over by somebody named Invictus. It turns out Invictus is some old foe of Larfleeze(of course... because the DCU revolves around Larfleeze...), and upon seeing that damned orange construct, Invictus is summoned to deal with the New Guardians.

Thoughts: That could have been WAY worse! First things first, the number one rule concerning this series is that anytime Larfleeze appears on a page that's an automatic -10. Since Larfleeze only appeared on one page, that's a -10 right off the bat. -2 for Kyle(the only character in this series worth anything) getting stuck with that childish Glomulus thing. But I'll give a +4 for Arkillo yelling at Saint Walker, who I hate. Yes, I hate A LOT of characters in this comic... Another -3 for Glomulus sticking his(her? it's?) tongue out at Kyle... Seriously, is this comic being written for the 4-6 year old age group? I'll give a +2 for Atrocitus shoving Bleez's head into the ocean of blood because, you guessed it, I hate Bleez and want her to drown! -1 for every time Saint Walker said, “All will be well”. As well as a -2 for every time that annoying Indigo Lantern spoke in Jackass-ese. “Nok” my ass... If I was feeling in a worse mood I'd toss another negative score in for the Larfleeze statue, but I'm a nice guy, so I won't. I'll give a +2 for Invictus hating Larfleeze, thus showing he has good taste. But I'm going to have to give a -4 for this story revolving around Larfleeze in the first place! Now do you see how totally arbitrary these numbers are? With that taken care of, it's time for me to do some fancy mathematics and come up with a final score of......

Score: -14 out of 10. Oddly enough, a -14 ISN'T that bad... Trust me, it could have been WAAAAAY worse!

I wish somebody would rip Saint Walker's tongue out...

Green Lantern: The New Guardians #4

Ah, here's this week's Runt of the Litter, the comic at the bottom of my new comic pile, AND, much like Ultimates, a series that I'll probably be dropping after this issue. Sorry, Kyle Rayner or no, Larfleeze as a major player in this series means I'll be dropping it. Here's hoping Larfleeze is just the villain of the month here, but I have a sinking suspicion that isn't the case...

Green Lantern: New Guardians #4:

What Happened: Larfleeze and the rest of the New Guardians continue to fight against the Guardians of Oa(for some reason). Ganthet tries to reason with Kyle, telling him that if he stayed the Guardians would try to figure out why the rings from the others Corps went to him, but Kyle decides to throw his lot in with Larfleeze since he didn't like what the Guardians did to Ganthet. With that, the New Guardians head to Larfleeze's homeworld and learn from Larfleeze's personal Guardian, Sayd, that a white hole had opened up in space and that a ship the size of a galaxy emerged, stealing Lantern rings from the various Corps's. Needless to say, it was in the best interest of the New Guardians to explore this strange ship.

The Good: This comic was a fast read. The cliffhanger was good.

The Bad: I have zero interest reading a series that has Larfleeze as a major character. None of the New Guardians, save for Kyle, are characters I want to read about. Larfleeze was in this issue.

The Verdict: Adiós, New Guardians! You will be yet another DC series I toss on the scrapheap! I'm sorry, but I'm not going to read a series that stars Larfleeze. Not even for Kyle.

Score: 5 out of 10.Sorry, Kyle, but not even YOU could save this title for me.

Green Lantern: The New Guardians #3

Here's a comic that has all of the right ingredients(a good lead character in Kyle Rayner, a good writer in Tony Bedard), but is saddled with a sucky story. I'm hopeful that Bedard can make something out of this series, but even the best writers can't make a masterpiece out of crap.

Green Lantern: New Guardians #3:

What Happened: Kyle, containing the powers of all of the various Corps, strikes back at the Guardians, but soon loses control of all of the power and falls. The Guardians are unable to remove Kyle's Green Lantern ring(which surprises them), and they are soon attacked by the other New Guardians. The Guardians take them down with relative ease, and this issue ends with Larfleeze entering the fray.

The Good: I don't know? Kyle was in this one? Although he mainly acted 90's Hal Jordan crazy and got his ass whipped, so I'm not sure how good I'd consider that...

The Bad: Larfleeze.

The Verdict: You know, the cliffhanger to a comic book is basically what you'll remember about it by the time the next issue rolls around. Those final few pages are what will leave a taste in your mouth. And the cliffhanger here? It absolutely, 100% turned me off of this comic book. In plain English, if Larfleeze is in this series, I won't read it. It's as simple as that. That thing is a joke that somebody at DC(probably that Silver Age freak, Geoff Johns) must think is hilarious. Unfortunately, I don't find Larfleeze anything but infinitely annoying. Probably the most annoying character in all of comics. Yes, that's right, ALL of comics. So here's the deal. I almost definitely will be picking up the next issue, because Kyle is one of my sister's favorite characters. BUT, I haven't decided if I'll read it. Hell, if I can I'm going to try to convince her to let me drop this title to save the $3... If I DO decide to read it, I'll definitely review it with Brightest Day Rules, meaning the next couple of issues should have scores WELL into the negative numbers. Bottom line? Most likely I won't be reading yet another DC book, dropping my total even lower...

Score: 2 out of 10.Sweet. Now I can drop this series.

Green Lantern: The New Guardians #2

It's finally time to read one of the few DC comic books I picked up this week, and the only GL series I'll bother to read. Honestly, I'm not expecting much from this one because it's from DC... With that, let's get to it.

Green Lantern: New Guardians #2:

What Happened: Confused by why rings from all of the color corps were following him around, and trying to avoid angry members of said corps, Kyle and the recently arrived Saint Walker head off of Earth in order to lead the angry members of the various corps off of the planet. Kyle heads to Oa figuring that Ganthet would be able to tell him what was going on, but is horrified to discover that the other Guardians had taken Ganthet's emotions since they figured that would make him a better Guardian. In his moment of shock, the rings from all of the other corps attach themselves to Kyle's fingers, making him a... um, Grey Lantern?

The Good: Through all of the crap that DC has put me through, I am still a fan of Kyle Rayner, so it's good to see him getting some serious face time in this series. Kyle's fight against the angry corps members was energetic and fun. The Guardians were uber-creepy.

The Bad: I never really connected with this comic. The story didn't pull me in. The ending, with Kyle becoming a member of all of the corps simply caused me to roll my eyes instead of get excited. There are WAY too many different corps nowadays... Saint Walker was in this issue.

The Verdict: It's sad really... I honestly can't seem to get excited for any DC comic I read anymore... I mean two years ago I would have LOVED this comic book! But today? I was completely apathetic towards it. So Kyle was battling other corps members. Meh. So the Guardians lobotomized Ganthet. Meh. So Kyle is a Rainbow Lantern now. Meh. Much like Superboy, I doubt I'll drop this series since it stars one of my favorite DC characters, but this comic left me feeling nothing, much like many of the DC comics I've been reading lately...

Score: 6 out of 10.Meh.

Green Lantern: The New Guardians #1

This is the only Green Lantern comic I am picking up from DC, and that's only because my love for Kyle Rayner outweighs my hatred of Chairman Johns... By a very slight degree... Am I looking forward to reading this? No, because it's just a continuation of Chairman Johns' rainbow corps bullshit, but for Kyle, I will suffer through this tripe.

Green Lantern: The New Guardians #1:

What Happened: The Guardians of Oa have apparently fallen and only Ganthet survived. Ganthet takes the last Green Lantern ring and heads to Earth where he gives it to Kyle Rayner... Um, this all happened before you know, right? Anyway, Kyle accepts and becomes a GL. From there, rings abandon their hosts from several other Corps and begin flying towards Earth. Kyle does some super-heroics and afterwards is suddenly met by the 6 different rings, all telling Kyle he had been chosen by their respective Corps. While Kyle is trying to figure out what the HELL was happening, representatives from 4 of the 6 Corps land on Earth and prepare to attack Kyle for “stealing” rings from their Corps.

The Good: This comic starred Kyle Rayner. THERE'S your biggest plus right there. The story was engaging. Oddly the beginning started off very similar to the way Kyle received his ring the first time. The representative from the Star Sapphires was Fatality, one of Kyle's old foes. Larfleeze wasn't in this issue. The cliffhanger was solid.

The Bad: This is a Green Lantern comic, and Geoff Johns has caused me to hate the Green Lantern franchise. Time-wise this issue moved along funny, making me unsure of how long Kyle had his ring.

The Verdict: As a fan of both Tony Bedard's writing and Kyle Rayner, this comic was a bit of a treat for me. Yes, I am a bit pissed that the color corps still exists in the new DCU, but I've come to terms with the fact that in the eyes of DC, Chairman Johns can do no wrong, and as such all of his ideas, even the terrible ones, are golden. Negativity aside, this was a good comic, one that I don't intend on dropping anytime soon.

Score: 8 out of 10.Huh, that's strange, I could swear that this has happened already...