Hellblazer #299

This is the penultimate issue of Hellblazer.  Why is that?  I honestly don't know...  I have a theory, but it involves DC being run by a bunch of trained monkeys...  So yeah, the "geniuses" over at DC have decided to cancel this series, which has been going since like 1987 or so, and will replace it with a Constantine series detailing the New 52 version of Constantine...  Because we as comic book fans are SO stupid in the eyes of DC, that we could never deal with TWO Constantine oriented series, even if one is being published under the Vertigo banner...  I don't know how you can cancel a series with a character as important as John Constantine...  Yep, what a company...

Hellblazer #299

Summary: This issue opens with Terry Greaves attacking the goon who shot Constantine last issue since he knew that would infuriate his daughter, Constantine's wife, Epiphany.  From there we learn that Constantine was indeed dead(!), and Epiphany heads to her father for a reckoning   Terry explains to Epiphany that he hadn't okayed the hit on Constantine, and takes her to the tied up goon who did, handing her a gun and telling her to get some closure.  With that, Epiphany shoots the goon in the head, killing him.  We next head to the funeral hone holding Constantine's body, where Epiphany is confronted by a demon that consisted of women Constantine had discarded.  Epiphany calls Angie Spatchcock, an old girlfriend of Constantine's, who is also a magician, to help.  Angie comes by and destroys the demon before angrily leaving Epiphany.  Epiphany heads back to her apartment and sees Finn(Constantine's recently discovered nephew) outside.  It turns out Finn's life has gone to hell since meeting Constantine and he was there to kill him...  HA!!  So after talking for a bit, Finn and Epiphany sleep together.  Next up is the funeral, which goes on without a hitch.  Epiphany heads back home, and turns down Finn's offer to stay with her for a bit.  This issue ends with Epiphany opening the door to the apartment and finding Constantine standing there!

Thoughts: This was a great issue!  It's funny, I didn't care for Epiphany when she first popped up, but as the issues have gone on, I've begun to really like her.  And this issue has me liking her even more!  So it figures that she'll be gone in another issue...  Damned DC...  As for the cliffhanger?  Man do I hope that's really Constantine...  I really, truly do...  Let him have somehow cheated death...  Let this all have been some big elaborate ruse he's pulled...  Even though it would go so counter to Constantine, who would be the first to say has lived a fucked up life, I really want to see him and Epiphany live happily ever after at the end of the next issue.  Regardless, out of everything DC has done recently, cancelling this series is probably one of the dumbest moves, and, to be honest, leaves me more pissed off than just about anything else that company has done...   And I've been REALLY pissed off at DC for a while now!  But cancelling this series?  THIS takes the cake.  Oh, and in case there's any doubt, there's NO chance in hell I'll be reading that watered down, PG-rated Constantine book DC is replacing this title with.  No bloody way.  There's only one John Constantine, and it's not that little bitch version over in JLD.

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.

Only Constantine would look better as a corpse!

American Vampire #34

Here's the final X review of the week.  Um, that's all of the intro I have for you guys...

American Vampire #34

Summary: This is a tough one to review, so I'm going to hit the broad strokes because, in plain English, I doubt anybody will even read this post.  This issue deals with Gene Bunting heading to the home of a retired Vassal named Abilena Book.  Gene is worried that some guy named the Gray Trader was coming to America, and was hoping Abilena could help validate his suspicions since she had been bitten by a snake creature that gives it's victims visions of the future(yes, really!).  Abilena doesn't want to help Gene because using her future sight "alerts others" so Gene goes to leave.  Before he goes though, Abilena tells Gene not to stop at a hotel that night(due to a vision she had).  With that, Gene leaves and Abilena heads to her basement where a vampire was apparently living.

Thoughts: Um...  Yeah...  This issue was kind of confusing...  I didn't know who Abilena was, I didn't know who Gene was, and I didn't know who the vampire(if it WAS a vampire ) in the basement was...  But that's the problem with this series, I guess.  It bounces around in time so much, and since I usually read like 60 comics between issues of this series, I tend forget most of what happened previously.  I'll remember the main storylines and characters, but bit players like Abilena end up getting lost on me.  That's one of the main reasons I wish DC would dedicate a page at the front of their comics like Marvel does, something that tells you what had happened in the previous issues, as well as who the characters in this issue are, and why I should care.  As it was, I only know a) the Gray Trader is a big time bad guy, and b) this series is going on a hiatus...  Which means that by the time issue #35 drops, I'll have forgotten...  Well, pretty much everything in this series...

Score: 4 1/2 out of 10.

Oh no!  It's Creepy Silhouette Man!!!

New Comic Day! May 30th edition.

Hey all, it's the MIA Vampire X here to welcome you all to the official New Comic Day post! Huzzah!! Seeing as that this is the fifth Wednesday of the month, I'm not really expecting to pick up very many comics at the comic book shop later on today. Well, let's see what I do plan on picking up when the sun sets and it's safe for me to travel... X-Men Legacy #267, Wolverine and the X-Men #11, Wolverine #307, New Mutants #43, Amazing Spider-Man Annual #39, America's Got Powers #2, Walking Dead #98, American Vampire #27, Batman Annual #1, Ravagers #1 & Astonishing X-Men #50. So 9 comic books, eh? With the past two weeks totaling in at over 40 books, it's about time I get an easy week!

This week's Pick of the Litter is... um, American Vampire #27, I guess... Nothing on that list is really jumping out at me... So yeah, let's go with that. On the other end of the spectrum, this week's Runt of the Litter is Wolverine and the X-Men #11. It was definitely going to be a book with the word “Wolverine” in the title, but my hatred of the non-Wolvie characters in WatXM overrides my hatred of the dumb story taking place in Wolverine, so WatXM gets the nod. As for my posting schedule this week? To be honest, I don't know when/if I'll do any reviews this week... I may do a post later on in the week with write-ups for all of the books I picked up this week, or I may not do any posts at all... Time will tell. On the plus side, JT has stepped up and said he'd do some reviews(probably for the two annuals), so there's that to look forward to. But for me? I just don't have that blogging fire back in my heart again. Yet. I'm sure it will come back in time, but right now it's just a dim flicker. But enough of that, as I stated, I should have something about this week's comics posted, probably by Monday. Until then? Vampire X out.

Hellblazer #291

And this brings us to the final part of the Constantine goes to Hell storyline... Although Constantine is already out of Hell and has randomly decided to go after his EVIL demonic twin... I'm not sure why he's going that route, but hey, here's hoping it's good!

Hellblazer #291:

Story Points:
-After a lot of preparation for a spell to use against his EVIL demonic twin, Constantine manages to convince his niece Gemma to assist him in drawing the fiend out.
-Gemma lays in a crypt and Constantine calls out his EVIL twin, telling him Gemma was a sacrifice.
-However, Gemma pops up and shoots Constantine's evil twin with two magic darts, nearly killing the demon.
-However, she chooses not to fire the final dart at the demon, a dart which would surely kill it.
-Constantine is surprised, but the choice is Gemma's, and in the end, Gemma decides to keep the gun, making a veiled threat at Constantine himself about the final dart.

Thoughts: This was a pretty good issue, I guess. Gemma finally got some closure after being raped by Constantine's EVIL demonic twin back during Constantine's wedding, Constantine is done with his trek to Hell, and we are rapidly approaching issue #300(!). Now, personally I'm hoping we explore more about Constantine's nephew, because a younger version of Constantine could bring all kinds of awesomeness to this series. The more I think about it, this storyline really left a lot of loose ends for further storylines, so kudos to Peter Milligan for that.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.

American Vampire #26

First comic to be reviewed tonight? Let's head over to Vertigo and Scott Snyder's awesome American Vampire series. Yeah, I think that's a good idea, let's do that!

American Vampire #26:

Summary: Some vampire named Calvin heads to a small town in 1954 Alabama to see a friend of his play a music gig(incognito since Cal doesn't want his friend to know he's there since Cal had faked his death to join the Morning Stars). Cal ends up getting hassled by some of the town's teenagers, but the kids are chased off by an old man. Later on, Cal again runs into the teens, and they try to warn him that the town wasn't what it seemed. At that point the old man comes racing over and smashes one of the teens in the head with his cane before scolding the teen for airing the town's dirty laundry. With that, the old man transforms into some sort of new vampire creature, surprising Cal and ending this one.

Thoughts: Meh. My problem with this issue was the fact that I don't remember Calvin... At all! I assume he met Skinner Sweet during WWII, but for the life of me I don't remember for sure... While the story as it was wasn't bad, I can't help but think it could have been even better if I knew who the hell Calvin was!

Score: 6 out of 10.

You always have to watch out for those tricky old men!

Hellblazer #290

Next up tonight, the latest issue of Hellblazer... To be honest, I have no idea why this issue is so low in my comic pile, but whatever, I guess...

Hellblazer #290:

Summary: Epiphany makes a deal with the First of the Fallen to bring her father back to life in exchange for her father's soul, since there was something the First wanted Terry to do... Something he was uniquely suited for... From there, the now live Terry heads to his club and surveys the damage, and figures Constantine had something to do with it. As for Constantine, after dropping Gemma off at the hospital, he heads back to his apartment to finally take a break, since he'd been going non-stop since heading to Hell. Before he can do any resting, Terry arrives and pulls a gun, ranting at Constantine for killing his men as revenge for what Terry did to Gemma(which Constantine had no idea about). Constantine quickly realizes that Terry's soul had been vouched to a demon, and proceeds to beat Terry unconscious with a flower?! Constantine RULES!! The First chooses that time to appear, telling Constantine that if he left Terry alone, he'd allow Constantine's sister's soul to move on to heaven, since it was trapped in Limbo due to Constantine reneging on a deal he made with the First in Hell. Constantine reluctantly makes the deal, and then has the First teleport him to Epiphany. The two have a quick conversation about what had happened, and this one ends with Constantine deciding to deal with his evil twin once and for all.

Thoughts: Another good issue from this series. This storyline in particular has been really good, and Epiphany giving her father's soul over to the First should make for all sorts of fun going forward... I can't wait to see why the First was so eager to have Terry's soul to begin with... Everything wasn't great though, as the ending kind of came out of nowhere... So suddenly, to end this storyline, Constantine is going to face down his evil twin? Why exactly? His evil twin is already in Hell, what more can he do to it/him? So yeah, the ending was a bit weird to me, but everything else was quite enjoyable.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.

Yup, Constantine's life sucks.

American Vampire #25

And now, it's time for me to review an issue of American Vampire! Since I've finally caught up with this series, I'll be able to review the newer issues as they come out. Now hopefully THIS issue will pull me out of the comic book funk I've been in this week... Seriously, the books from this week have been terribly disappointing!

American Vampire #25:

Summary: This issue gets started with Skinner getting the upper hand on Travis, the greaser vampire hunter who had been tracking him. Naturally Skinner taunts a little bit too long, allowing Travis the chance to slice Skinner with a gold plated knife(gold is the only thing that can hurt/kill an American vampire). That simply serves to piss Skinner off even more, so he bites Travis in the neck... But not fatally, because as I've already stated, Skinner LOVES to taunt. Skinner is sickened by the taste of Travis's blood at which point Travis reveals that he had mixed some gold dust in his morning coffee in the event Skinner bit him... Huh... That's interesting... From there, Travis gives us a flashback as to why he hates Skinner(European vampires hunting Skinner killed his folks), and then proceeds to taunt Skinner as opposed to, you know, KILLING HIM!!! Skinner takes this opportunity to turn the tables on Travis and prepares to kill him, but is stopped by Hobbes and the Vassals of the Morningstar... Wha?!?! Hobbes takes “Agent Sweet” away(again, Wha?!?!), and Travis manages to sneak away after getting stuck by a needle that cured him of the paralysis that Skinner's bite would have eventually brought on. From there, Travis kills his girlfriend, Piper, who once again was trying to betray him to vampires. With that, Travis heads into a den of bloodsuckers, guns blazing. This issue ends with a vampire murdering Pearl's longtime husband, Henry(!).

Thoughts: This was, as usual, a really good read. The end came as a HUGE shock, mainly because Pearl and Henry had been through so much together I didn't expect to see him offed in such a casual manner. Pearl's reaction to Henry's death should be REALLY interesting... There are A LOT of different ways Scott Snyder can go here, mainly with Pearl, but who knows, maybe even with Henry. As for the main story? I like Travis and all, with him playing the whole rebel with a cause role, and his origin story kind of made sense in explaining why he hated Skinner(even though it wasn't Skinner who killed his folks), but the twist with Skinner working for the Vassals was kind of jarring... I'm not quite sure what I think about that. The Vassals are working with the WORST vampire ever crated on US soil? Aren't they supposed to be killing vampires? I guess they figure Skinner will help them hunt down and kill the older vampires, but come on, everybody knows if you hang around a mad dog you're gonna get bit! So I'm not sure what to make of Hobbes and the Vassals actions here. But overall? This was a good read.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.

Words to live by.

Hellblazer #289

Last review of the night? Hellblazer. Yes, that was practically the same intro as I used for X-Factor earlier tonight... But like I said, I'm running on a very tight schedule here and don't have time to come up with a different intro! Just be lucky I replaced “X-Factor” with “Hellblazer”!

Hellblazer #289:

Summary: Constantine gets booted from Hell by a vengeful demon, and winds up trapped in a grave... Ah, Constantine... Meanwhile, Constantine's wife Epiphany is visiting Constantine's niece, Gemma, who was put in the hospital by Epiphany's scumbag of a father, Terry... Whew, get all that? Anyway, seeing Gemma in that state puts Epiphany in a rage, and she decides to confront her father and forgets about digging Constantine up at their prearranged time. The demon from Hell tries again to get Epiphany to give Terry's soul away, but Epiphany again turns the demon down. Eventually Epiphany finds her father and the two argue, culminating with Epiphany shoving her father into a ditch where he dies(!!). As for Constantine, he's rapidly losing air, but gets saved by Gemma, who saw an image of her mother(probably sent by Constantine) telling her to dig Constantine up. This issue ends with the demon from Hell offering to bring Terry back to life... If Epiphany signs Terry's soul over to him.

Thoughts: No complaints here. This was a good, solid comic that didn't really give me anything to gripe about. Hey, sometimes that's all I want in a quick read. This storyline finishes off next issue as Epiphany will make her decision, while Constantine no doubt tries to stop her from making any deals with demons. It SHOULD be good.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.

Ah Hell-demons... Always chopping heads off...

American Vampire: Survival of the Fittest #1 (August 2011)

Okay, here's a “Retro-Review” that's not all that “retro”... I've been reading through the American Vampire trades and singles in an attempt to catch up to the current issues, so I figured since I'm already reading through the third American Vampire hardcover, I might as well do a review from it. It's actually not from the American Vampire series itself, but a mini-series that sprung from the main series... Go figure.

American Vampire: Survival of the Fittest #1(of 5):

Summary: First things first... This mini-series takes place during WWII... This issue kicks off by showing us who Felicia Book is and what she does... Who she is? The daughter of James Book, who was killed by American Vampire, Skinner Sweet. As for what Felicia does? She kills vampires for the Vassals of the Morning Star(the HUGE Castlevania mark in me LOVES the Morning Star reference fyi). Felicia was going to take a leave of absence from the Vassals after having killed dozens of vampires to track down wild rumors of somebody finding a cure for vampirism... Oh yeah, that's another thing you need to know about Felicia... When she was in her mother's womb, Skinner injected some of his blood into Felicia's mother's abdominal region, corrupting Felicia with some of the vampire taint. Felicia's boss at the Vassals tells her that he had a more promising lead on a vampirism cure, but that the scientist who had been working on it had fallen into the hands of the Nazis. As such, Felicia's boss asks her to go to German-occupied Romania to find the scientist with another Vassal agent by her side, a Cash McCogan. McCogan also wants to find a cure to vampirism due to the fact that his son was born a vampire... I'm blanking on how or why, but I'm sure Skinner Sweet was somehow to blame... This issue ends with Felicia and McCogan deciding to head into Nazi dominated Europe hoping to find the missing scientist and his potential cure.

Thoughts: Ah, this was a VERY promising start to this mini-series! The portrayals of the major characters here(Felicia Book and Cash McCogan) were VERY well done, as is par for the course when it comes to Scott Snyder. On top of that, the story itself looks really strong, although there's really no doubt in my mind as to how this one will end(you KNOW there's either no cure or the two will come tantalizingly close to getting the cure before something tragic occurs)... Still, I AM interested in seeing where this mini goes, and will probably happily polish the next four issues off by the end of the night.

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.

Yep, that's gonna leave a mark...

Hellblazer #288

Huh, check out how high in my comic pile this series has climbed... That just goes to show you what a good job Peter Milligan has been doing with the story here, especially the current story.

Hellblazer #288:

Summary: This issue opens up with Constantine's drunken father-in-law(and notorious mobster) trying to convince Constantine's niece to go to a restaurant with him. Gemma turns Terry down, which leads to him tossing an empty bottle of vodka through Gemma's window. Meanwhile in Hell, Constantine meets up with the First of the Fallen, an uber-powerful demon, and asks the First to allow his sister to leave Hell. The First demands a trade, so Constantine offers up his own soul, which the First scoffs at, since it was Constantine's soul, and it was already tarnished. Instead, the First asks Constantine to agree to the Devil's Wager, which Constantine reluctantly agrees to... What is the Devil's Wager you ask? If Constantine can't convince his sister to leave Hell, then the First gets the soul of Constantine's wife, Epiphany. Back on Earth, Epiphany warns her drunken father to leave Gemma alone, which just serves to piss Terry off even more. After leaving her father, Epiphany is met by the First, who tells her that Constantine had wagered her soul in Hell. The First tells Epiphany that he really didn't want her soul, but wanted the soul of her father instead. That scene ends with the First telling Epiphany that if she promised the soul of her own father to him, her soul would be safe regardless of how Constantine faired in Hell... Back in Hell, Constantine manages to reach his sister and convince her to leave Hell(since she was only there voluntarily)... But with a catch... It turns out Constantine's sister had a child when she was a teenager, and left the baby boy in front of a hospital. Constantine's sister forces Constantine to swear that he would search for this mystery child and see that he was okay. Constantine makes that pledge to his sister, and she agrees to leave Hell, thereby allowing Constantine to defeat the First and win the Devil's Wager. The First congratulates Constantine on his victory, and tells Constantine that he knew Constantine's fingers were crossed when he made the promise to his sister... HA!! Regardless of how he did it, Constantine tells the First that his sister agreed to leave Hell, and as such Epiphany's soul was safe. The First leaves, but not before telling Constantine that there were consequences to making false promises in Hell... This issue ends with the drunken Terry breaking into Gemma's home and brutalizing her.

Thoughts: This was a really, really good comic! Seriously, the story, the art, the pacing of the story, the way Milligan switched scenes, it all made for a great read. Plus, we now know that Constantine has a nephew out there somewhere. And with how messed up the rest of his family is, who knows how screwed up this nephew is! There were a few things I didn't touch on in the review because they really didn't add anything to the story, such as Constantine meeting up with his evil double again, and seeing the bedroom where he was born, but those little touches REALLY helped set the scene of just how fucked up Hell was. Needless to say, I am REALLY looking forward to seeing what happens next between Constantine and Epiphany, Terry and Gemma(and eventually Constantine), as well as Constantine and this nephew of his.

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.

Good old Constantine...

A Quick Look At... Hellblazer #287

Before I get to the next review, I just wanted to let it be known that this will be the only post I do tonight on account of me celebrating the Giants heading to the Super Bowl! What an awesome game tonight... Anyway, I won't be able to comment on anything today, but I do plan on posting a whopping four reviews tomorrow and two more on Tuesday to FINALLY get myself caught up. Oh, and it should go without saying that come February 5th? Super Bowl Sunday? I most definitely won't be online! With all of that out of the way, it's time to head to Vertigo and see what John Constantine is up to this month... If nothing else it should be insane... And have a lot of profanity!

Hellblazer #287:

What Happened: Having been blackmailed by his scummy niece, Gemma, Constantine heads to Hell in order to talk to his sister(Gemma's mother) to find out... something. I'm not sure, but bottom line, Constantine has to go to Hell in order to stop Gemma from sleeping with his father-in-law by chatting with his sis. While in Hell, Constantine bumps into a duplicitous demon and ends up being transported to a room holding all of the people whose lives he'd ruined. When he turns around, he's confronted by... The devil? Maybe? Another demon? I'm not really sure...

Thoughts: Besides my confusion over WHY Constantine is in Hell, and who that demon on the last page was, this was a good read. I know in the pre-reboot DCU, Blaze was inexplicably made into the devil over the FAR superior Neron, but post-reboot, and especially in the Vertigo books, I have NO idea what “their” devil looks like. So this could have been the devil, or some powerful demon Constantine pissed off during his last foray into Hell. Regardless, I'm definitely looking forward to the next issue.

Score: 7 out of 10.

Ah Constantine...

Hellblazer #286

Huh, this isn't exactly what I'd call a very Christmas-y sort of comic... Oh well, that's the way the new comic pile shook out, so here comes a very Constantine Christmas!

Hellblazer #286:

What Happened: We get started with Constantine destroying Tamsin's book of demons as a way of telling her to stay the hell away from his niece. From there Constantine learns from his father-in-law(and all around scumbag), Terry Greaves, that some mobster was sent over from New Jersey to murder Constantine as a result of Constantine accidentally killing two other mobsters from NJ. As for the mobster sent to whack Constantine? He is Toni Gisulfo, who is currently in possession of Constantine's possessed coat. Toni murders the coat's former owner(a girl named Georgie), and Constantine hears from his cabbie friend about a girl(Georgie) who was ranting about a possessed coat. Constantine heads to Georgie's place and is confronted by Toni and his angry coat. Constantine manages to sweet talk the coat, telling it he never intended to be separated from it, so it murders Toni and Constantine takes the coat back... Huh... Anyway, with the mob and coat business taken care of, Constantine and his wife return home and are horrified(disgusted?) to find Constantine's niece and his father-in-law having sex on their couch. Terry leaves and Constantine's niece tells him she only did it to hurt Constantine. Constantine's niece continues, telling him that if he went to Hell to see if her mother really belonged there she'd stop seeing Terry. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, Constantine readies himself for a trip to Hell.

The Good: The parts with the coat were, as usual, great. Everybody around Constantine were portrayed perfectly scuzzy... His father-in-law, his niece, they were all just wonderfully horrible to Constantine. The end of this story and the promise of the next one has me excited for what's to come.

The Bad: I really hate Constantine's niece... If ANYBODY should end up in Hell, it's HER! The reconciliation between Constantine and his wayward coat seemed kind of anti-climatic. All of this build-up for Constantine to sweet talk the thing?!

The Verdict: Eh, this was a perfectly acceptable comic. Nothing more, nothing less. Oddly enough, even though it concluded a storyline, it seemed to spend more time setting up the next storyline. I was expecting major fireworks when Constantine met his coat again(there's a line I never thought I'd be typing...), but instead of fireworks we got sparklers. Oh well, maybe we'll get those fireworks come the next storyline.

Score: 7 out of 10.♫Reunited and it feels so good!♫

New Comic Day! December 21st edition

I have a rather jam packed post to get through, so I'm going to skip the normal pleasantries and get right into which comics I picked up at the comic shop earlier today... Batman #4, Fables #112, Hellblazer #286, Nightwing #4, Red Hood and the Outlaws #4, Supergirl #4, Invincible #86, Amazing Spider-Man #676, Avengers #20, Daken: Dark Wolverine #18, Daredevil #7, Fear Itself: The Fearless #5, Incredible Hulk #3, Invincible Iron Man #511, New Mutants #35, Thunderbolts #167, Uncanny X-Force #19, Venom #11, Wolverine #20, Wolverine and the X-Men #3, X-Factor #229... 21 comics(it would have been 22, but upon seeing my bloated stack of books I put Generation Hope right back)? Really? That's absolutely ridiculous. And it's mainly all from frigging Marvel! Seriously, didn't an issue of Uncanny X-Force JUST come out LAST WEEK?! See, THIS is a real problem that I'm going to have to do something about... And by “do something about” what I'm really saying is “find Marvel comic books to jettison from my pull list!”. So unless something radical happens, I'm going to be dropping Generation Hope, Daredevil and POSSIBLY Incredible Hulk. The sad thing is that I've actually enjoyed the first two issues of Incredible Hulk, but I'm sorry, until Marvel stops putting out 4,956 books every single week, I'm going to have to make some strategic cutting, and since Incredible Hulk is still relatively new, I won't feel that bad about dropping it(plus it's one of those $4 comic books, which makes dropping it all the more appealing). Seriously, Marvel is making it VERY hard to keep up... On top of the three books I just mentioned, I may end up dropping Defenders, Ultimates and X-Men(which are all $4 books as well...). I mean I love my comics more than the next guy, but when I have to start cutting down on my grocery shopping to support my comic buying habit, it's probably time to start cutting back a bit. So kudos Marvel, you've managed to get me to drop a mess of your books. Good job!

Anyway, let's get this post back on track... This week's Pick of the Litter is Uncanny X-Force #19. Invincible and Venom also got some consideration, but Uncanny X-Force takes the honor this week. I'm mainly curious to see how Rick Remender handles that aftereffects of the Dark Angel Saga, which, for me at least, ended with a resounding thud just LAST WEEK!!! This week's Runt? That will go to Avengers #20. The last issue was one of those comic books that made me want to stab myself in the eyes with a rusty nail. It's safe to say that by this point I've completely lost all faith in Bendis' writing abilities... Again. And that'll do it. I have A LOT of comics to read and review. Seeing as that Christmas is this week, I'm not sure if I'll be able to stick to my schedule, but I'll give it a shot anyway. 21 comics means 3 reviews for the next 7 days. In a perfect world, that's what I'll be doing. But as I said, holiday festivities may interrupt that schedule, but as of right now I'm planning on 3 reviews every night for the next 7 nights. I'll leave you guys with this week's Christmas oriented (not so)Random Scan of the Week and say X out.

Random Scan of the Week!Christmas: Joker-style!

Hellblazer Annual 2011... Or is it Hellblazer Annual #1?

Hey all, as promised, two reviews on tap for tonight, Hellblazer and the Fearless. Instead of yapping about it, hows about I just get to the reviews?

Hellblazer Annual 2011:

What Happened: Alright, this is an annual, so obviously I'm not going to cover this one in great detail, because, you know, that would lead to me taking forever to type this one up. So I'll just be hitting on the broad strokes. Back when John Constantine was 16 he had a friend by the name of Tim McCabe. It seems young Constantine received a magical picture of a bridge in the mail and Tim became enamored by the picture, eventually asking for and getting the picture from Constantine. Three days later little Timmy disappeared, never to be seen again... Fast forward to today, where Tim's mother is dying and asks if Constantine could look for her son since they were such close friends. Constantine does as asked, and discovers the picture in Tim's room, sensing there was more to it than meets the eye. After some research, he learns the bridge didn't exist anymore(it was torn down in the 1920's or thereabout after a mess of suicides) and heads to the site. Some magic reveals the name of a recently missing boy, and after lying to the missing boy's mother, he discovers that the boy had a picture of the bridge on his Facebook page. Constantine rushes back to the site of the bridge, but is too late to stop the boy from hurling himself into the abyss and vanishing. After that, Constantine does some more research and finds a list of names of teenagers who vanished, probably due to the Suicide Bridge. Constantine heads back to the site of the bridge again and recites the names, causing the Suicide Bridge to appear before him. While walking on the bridge, Tim appears before Constantine and blames him for the fate he wound up suffering. Constantine tells Tim that he could help him move on to the afterlife and out of the limbo the bridge had placed him in if Tim stopped hating Constantine, but Tim refuses, and the bridge begins to vanish under Constantine. Constantine ends up reaching the end of the bridge and safety, finding a teenage girl who was about to take a walk on the Suicide Bridge due to her father. Constantine manages to convince the girl not to jump, and then puts a spell on her father, changing him into a nicer guy. From there, Constantine returns to Tim's mother, who mistakes Constantine for Tim. Constantine plays along, giving the old woman her heart's desire, a final talk with Tim, before using a spell to have her peacefully die, which basically ends this one.

The Good: I enjoyed the story here. It was a strong one-and-done type deal, and I really like reading those types of stories every now and then. The art and coloring matched the mood of this one, dark and gloomy. I like Constantine, and this comic gave me Constantine... That's definitely a good thing.

The Bad: $5 is kind of a steep price to pay for an annual, especially a Vertigo one... I'd think it would be way more palatable at around $4. Um... That's all I can think up...

The Verdict: Obviously, just by looking at the Good and Bad sections of this post, you can see that I was pleased with this comic book. Was it perfect? No, it wasn't, but it was a very good story that I'm glad I read.

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.Good old John Constantine...

New Comic Day! December 7th edition

Alright! It is FINALLY Wednesday, and you know what THAT means... It's New Comic Day!!! After last week's depressing pull saw me only pick up 6 comics, of which I only read 5(the sixth was for my sister), I'm expecting big things this week... How big? Well, let's open up this bag of comics I brought home and see what we've got! Irredeemable #32, Hellblazer Annual #1, Stormwatch #4, Amazing Spider-Man #675, Deadpool #47, Defenders #1, Fear Itself: The Fearless #4, Venom #10, X-Factor #228, X-Men #22. So 10 books this week. That's definitely better than only 6, but not quite where I'd like to be at. In a perfect world I'd pick up between 12 and 14 books every week, but what can ya do? Let's see, this week's Pick of the Litter is going to have to be Deadpool #47. The last issue was flat out brilliant, and I'm expecting more of the same here. I also gave consideration to Venom which has been rock solid since the beginning as well as Defenders, which I'm hoping turns out good. As for this week's Runt of the Litter... Huh. I guess I'll go with X-Men #22. I mean it's not like issue #21 was awful or anything, but out of the 10 books listed above, that's probably the one I least feel like reading. So it's the Runt in name only, I do expect it to be okay. With 10 new comics, all of which I'll be reading, I'll do 2 reviews for the next 5 nights, and then probably post scans or Retro-Reviews come Monday and Tuesday... Oh wait, I almost forgot, Teen Titans #2 & #3 were at the shop for me today!! So that means scratch that Retro-Review for Monday, I'll be reviewing Teen Titans #2 & #3 at that time instead. As for tonight, look for reviews of Defenders #1 and Deadpool #47, but a bit later than usual since I won't be able to get back online until after 11 or so. And that's that. Another NCD in the books. As always, I'll leave you guys with this week's random scan. Until later on tonight, X out.

The Random Scan of the Week!Is Cap shouting at that picture of Zemo in his mind? Because if he is he's got more problems than I originally thought...

New Comic Day! November 30th edition

Hey there X-Maniacs! It's Wednesday, meaning it's time for yet another New Comic Day!! I am, as always, your magnanimous blog-meister, The X. Before we get started, this is my 601st post of the year, making this year my second most prolific blogging year since I started doing this whole blog thing, oh so many years ago... With only one month before 2012, I doubt I'll be able to reach the magical 700 plateau, but hell, 600+ posts in a single year is damn impressive if I do say so myself! And I do!

Anyway, enough patting myself on the back for not having a life and spending an inordinate amount of time blogging, let's get to the heart of this post and see which comics I brought home from the comic shop earlier today! Here's what I got: Fables #111, Daredevil #6, Thunderbolts #166, Ultimates #4, Uncanny X-Men #2 & Wolverine #19... Wait... So I only brought SIX comic books today?! What the HELL is going on here?!?! Wow... And since I'm not anywhere near caught up with Fables, that means I only have FIVE reviewable books in front of me! Well, that'll make the Pick and Runt of the Litter pretty easy I'd guess... This week's Pick of the Litter, or the comic book I most want to read is Wolverine #19. The past two issues have been surprisingly hilarious, and I'm expecting this issue to continue that trend. See, you don't always need dark, gritty Wolverine, as Jason Aaron is showing with this storyline. As for this week's Runt? I'm going to go with Ultimates #4, simply because Jonathan Hickman has a tendency to confuse the hell out of me at times. I mean Ultimates #4 and Daredevil #6 were basically neck and neck for being named the Runt, but after a flip of a coin(yes, literally), Ultimates takes that “honor”. With only FIVE comic books to review, I guess I'll do two reviews for Wednesday and Thursday, one review for Friday, and then... Well, I have no idea. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it on Saturday. And that's it. It's time for me to sit back and start reading what few new comics I have to read. As always, here's a random scan, and until later, X out.

The Random Scan of the Week!“hippie cult”... HA!!! Alan Scott is SO old...

Hellblazer #285

Okay, with #284 taken care of, here's this week's issue of Hellblazer.

Hellblazer #285:

What Happened: Constantine discovers that it was indeed his old trench coat that was messing with his magical mojo, while Georgie is surprised to see that the trench coat wouldn't burn. After the coat attacks her, Georgie leaves it at a bar(because that's EXACTLY what I'd do if I had a possessed coat!), where it's picked up by a low-level American mobster named Jerzy. Jerzy heads back to the States and while having dinner at his favorite restaurant, is possessed by the coat, at which time Jerzy goes crazy and starts stabbing a waiter repeatedly. Another mobster, a higher ranking one, shoots Jerzy to stop his rampage before spotting the coat and takes it for his own, which pleases the coat since this mobster was more evil and what it was looking for. This issue ends with the leader of the mob the mobster with the coat was working for deciding to kill Constantine for his role in the deaths of two of her men last issue.

The Good: Again, all of the parts with the trench coat were gold. That coat rules! The ending here was well done, as it sets up the Constantine/evil trench coat meeting.

The Bad: While I enjoyed the coat's parts, I can't say the same for Constantine... His story has crossed over with Gemma's, and as I stated last issue, I really don't care all that much about Gemma and the witches.

The Verdict: Overall, this was an okay comic book. It took a bit of a backwards step for me, what with Constantine getting pulled into the Gemma and the witches nonsense, but the awesome trench coat's parts balanced things out. On the positive side, I'm greatly looking forward to the next issue to see how the story of Constantine and his evil coat is resolved.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.It IS a nice coat!!

Hellblazer #284

Whoops, it seems that I somehow forgot to review this comic last month, so before I get to issue #285, here's a quick look at issue #284...

Hellblazer #284:

What Happened: Three basic story-points to hit on quickly with this one... The first has Gemma(Constantine's niece) disobeying the crazy witches she was working with, leading to her gaining the ire of said crazy witches. Next up we have Constantine, who's magic has been, for lack of a better term, fucked up, due to his missing trench coat. As such, when he casts a spell to help his father-in-law scare some mobsters from New Jersey, the spell goes awry and kills the mobsters. Realizing that his coat was the key to his magic, Constantine decides to try to find it. As for his coat, it's found a new host, a woman named Georgie. The coat figures Georgie wanted her mother dead since that would get Georgie's mother out of her hair, and as such, the coat attacks and hangs(!!) Georgie's mother while Georgie was away. Upon getting home, Georgie finds her mother's corpse and decides to burn all of her occult items, figuring they were to blame for what looked like her mother's suicide. Georgie tosses the coat in the fire which causes Constantine's arm to burst into flames.

The Good: I absolutely loved the parts with the killer coat. Who knew that a trench coat would make for such an awesome enemy? I also liked the parts with Constantine and his messed up magic. The cliffhanger was pretty good, with Constantine taking the same damage that his possessed former coat was taking. Gemma's parts were okay, although I'm not exactly that high on her yet.

The Bad: Georgie blaming the coat for her mother's death was a bit of a stretch... As I said, while Gemma's portions of this story weren't awful, they were definitely the weaker parts of this issue. I really don't care about her or her witch troubles, especially now that she knows Constantine wasn't the one who attacked her a few issues back.

The Verdict: I honestly liked this comic! Yes, it's all setting up for a Constantine vs his evil coat showdown, but, in the vernacular of Constantine himself, fuck me, I'm really looking forward to that! There really weren't any glaring things here that annoyed me, so let's get to the next issue.

Score: 8 out of 10.Blimey is putting it mildly!

New Comic Day! October 19th edition

Alright, I'm going to get right down to business, because although DC has sucked as a comic book company lately, they still produce some fantastic video games, as evident by Batman: Arkham City. The sooner I get this post done, the sooner I get back to Arkham City, so let's get right into which comic books I brought home a few minutes ago... Batman #2, Catwoman #2, Fables #110, Hellblazer #284, Nightwing #2, Red Hood and the Outlaws #2, Supergirl #2, Wonder Woman #2, Avengers #18, Captain America Corps #5, Fear Itself #7(!), Fear Itself: The Fearless #1, Fear Itself: The Home Front #7, Fear Itself: Youth In Revolt #6, Invincible Iron Man #509, Journey Into Mystery #629, Ultimate Hawkeye #3, Uncanny X-Men #544, Wolverine #17, X-Factor #226. So we're back up to 20 books again... Huzzah? For a change, there are a couple of DC books that I'm actually looking forward to this week, although the Marvel books I'm picking up are, as usual as of late, WAY more attractive to me. With that said, this week's Pick of the Litter is an absolute no-brainer... Fear Itself #7, period, end of story. That's the first thing I'll be reading later on tonight, and that's the first book I'll be reviewing, probably followed by Youth In Revolt and The Fearless. This week's Runt of the Litter is... well, none of the books I'm picking up this week REALLY deserve the Runt label, but since I HAVE to name one of these comics the Runt, I'll go with Fear Itself: The Home Front, if only because the last two issues have sucked so badly... With 20 books to get through this week I'll try to post three new reviews every day, and I'll close out the week with the two books at the bottom of my pile(probably Cap Corps and Home Front). So there we go. Of course that's all subject to change, but that's the plan for now. And with that taken care of, it's time for me to play some more Arkham City. I'll be back later on tonight with my epic, gala, colossal Fear Itself #7 review, as well as a few others. Until then though, it's time for me to say X out.

The Random Scan of the Week!Yeah sure, LEAVE the shield right next to Cap!! Stupid Nazis...

Hellblazer #283

With my new comics reviewed and taken care of this week, I can start playing catch up on certain series that I either never started reading, or that I had been neglecting due to my insane weekly pull list. This is one of the former, as I had always planned on reading Hellblazer eventually, but never got around to it. So after reading about 25 straight Hellblazer comics, I can happily say I am fully caught up and can review the most recent issue! Huzzah!!

Hellblazer #283:

What Happened: After John Constantine's niece sells his signature trench coat on eBay, Constantine begins having all sorts of odd troubles, such as waking up in the River Thames, having wicked nightmares and blood dripping from his bedroom ceiling... You know, all around bad shit. As for the guy who brought the coat, the coat ends up bringing him great luck as he scores with a woman WAY out of his league. Unfortunately, the woman hates the coat and the way it smells, so she tells him to lose it. Since he didn't want to lose his new girlfriend, the man heads outside to do as much and winds up getting run down, losing the coat in the process. This issue ends with the coat thinking to itself that like Constantine, the dead guy wasn't worthy to wear it, but it would keep looking until it found that worthy person.

The Good: How can't you like a story about a possessed trench coat? Constantine is always a great character to read about, even when he isn't really doing much.

The Bad: There wasn't enough Constantine in this comic for my liking... I honestly don't care all that much about Constantine's niece and her troubles with the crazy women. I still haven't warmed up to Constantine's wife.

The Verdict: Well, this storyline has some promise, I mean it DOES make sense that Constantine's coat would be possessed due to all of the crazy stuff it's been around... Huh, do you believe I just typed that it makes sense that a coat would be possessed?! Anyway, I'd have preferred it had this issue mainly dealt with Constantine and his wayward coat, and avoided the stuff with his niece, but what can ya do. So while this wasn't the best issue of this series I've read recently, it was pretty good.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.I can tell you from experience, THAT is a bad sign...