Ghost Rider #2 & New Avengers #15

And I've reached the bottom of this week's comic pile, meaning these were the two comics I was least looking forward to reading. Expect low scores... Very low scores...

Ghost Rider #2(Fear Itself tie-in):

Summary: This issue gets underway with Mephisto telling Johnny Blaze that by allowing the mysterious Adam to take the Ghost Rider curse off of him he had doomed humanity. Johnny is rather skeptical of anything that Mephisto says, since Mephisto IS the devil and all, so Mephisto reveals that if Adam's plans come to fruition(and with his own Ghost Rider, he's well on his way), Adam will save all of humanity from sin. Johnny figures Mephisto is only bitching because if there was no sin, there'd be no need for the devil, but Mephisto tells Johnny that without sin humanity becomes stagnant, uncreative and emotionless, basically a civilization of mindless zombies. Johnny asks exactly what Mephisto wants from him, and Mephisto tells Johnny that he had to rescue the new BAD-ASS Ghost Rider from Adam and get her as far away from Adam as possible. Speaking of BAD-ASS Ghost Rider and Adam, Adam demands that BAD-ASS Ghost Rider kill the people she had been living with in her secluded little temple, since they were full of sin or something. BAD-ASS Ghost Rider won't do it(because as I've established already, she's a BAD-ADD), so Adam attacks her with some weird magic. As for Johnny, Mephisto teleports him to Adam's temple and Johnny enters, shooting Adam in the arm with what looks to be his old hellfire-shooting shotgun(!). One of Adam's disgruntled henchmen, Seeker, decides to help Johnny, shielding him from Adam's more fanatical followers and their automatic rifles. The Seeker tells Johnny to get him near BAD-ASS Ghost Rider since he could power her down. Johnny approaches BAD-ASS Ghost Rider and offers to help her, but she goes all crazy on him and decides that she would wipe the earth clean of sin, starting with Johnny.

Thoughts: Okay, here's the thing. This comic wasn't that bad. Rob Williams did a good job of laying out the story, as well as giving us the motivations of the two major players(Mephisto and Adam). Johnny wasn't written as some sort of brain-dead hick this time around(thank god...), and the art was solid. However, I'm still not sold on the new Ghost Rider... Yes, it pisses me off that Marvel decided to change Ghost Rider's sex as opposed to simply crating a new female character. Yes, I am still pissed that my favorite Ghost Rider, Danny Ketch, hasn't even been mentioned yet. But more importantly, the lead character here, Ghost Rider, just doesn't do anything for me. Her background story isn't particularly interesting(she was raised by Adam in a cult for the express purpose of one of the cult members becoming Ghost Rider one day), and thus far, SHE isn't particularly interesting. And that right there is a pretty major problem... The story can be good, the co-starring characters can be great, the art can be solid, but if you can't connect with the main character, what's the point in reading? So this'll be the last issue of this series I pick up for the foreseeable future. If this series lasts past a dozen issues, and I hear some good things about it, I'll give it another shot. But with me picking up between 50-70 comics every month, I think I'll be able to get by minus this series.

Score: 6 out of 10.See, she IS a BAD-ASS! I told you!!


New Avengers #15(Fear Itself tie-in):

Summary: This comic was all about Squirrel Girl. Yes really. After she defeated Wolverine, probably the greatest fighter in ALL of Marvel Comics, in hand-to-hand combat, that was all I could stand.

Thoughts: Yeah, this comic sucked. It sucked to the point where I felt like stabbing myself in the brain repeatedly with an icepick to make the pain end. I don't know if Bendis is completely oblivious to the fact, but let me explain something about Squirrel Girl... She's a comedy character. She's always been a comedy character. Trying to write her as a serious character? In a serious comic book? With her fighting(and beating!!!) one of the most serious characters in ALL of comics? No. No, no, no. This was one of the most painful Marvel comic book reading experiences I've had since Secret Invasion. If you value your sanity, please, DO NOT read this comic book!!! I'd have given this comic the full 0 out of 10 imperfect score, but that wouldn't be fair to Mike Deodato, who did a good job on art. So instead, I'll give this one a...

Score: 1 out of 10.I have nothing non-profane to say here, so let's just move on...

Ghost Rider #1 & Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #521

As promised, the last two Fear Itself tie-in issues I have left to read are on tap for today. Will I like either of them? If I were a betting man I'd say no, but who knows, I gave a Bendis written comic book a 10 earlier this week, stranger things have happened...

Ghost Rider #1(Fear Itself tie-in):

Summary: This issue begins with that slack-jawed yokel, Johnny Blaze, rejoicing in the fact that he no longer has the Ghost Rider curse. From there we head to Dayton, Ohio, where Sin and her Nazi forces are decimating the city... Why Dayton? That seems kind of random... Anyway, Deathwatch(!!!) and Blackout(!!!) are following behind Sin's forces(at a safe distance) and using her chaos to strengthen themselves. Okay, that just made this entire comic book worth the cover price right there... The new BAD-ASS female Ghost Rider(yawn) shows up and beats the hell out of Blackout and Deathwatch. She then tries to show that she's a BAD-ASS by scaring some kids. Sin walks over relatively pissed that BAD-ASS new Ghost Rider was here and the two fight with BAD-ASS Ghost Rider summoning her BAD-ASS new motorcycle, complete with BAD-ASS Gatling guns attached(because she's a BAD-ASS), which help BAD-ASS Ghost Rider put Sin down... Wait, what?! BAD-ASS Ghost Rider decides she was going to kill Sin with her own hammer, but gets knocked out and turned back into a regular human instead. Sin taunts her fallen foe, stating that since BAD-ASS new Ghost Rider was going to bring devastation to the world, she would leave her alive... Um, since Sin is already destroying the world why the hell would she allow BAD-ASS Ghost Rider to stay alive at all? Unless Sin knows she's gonna lose, which says a lot about Sin's self-esteem I guess... Anyway, the main story here ends with Johnny walking back into his secluded home to discover Mephisto standing there telling Johnny that by getting rid of the Ghost Rider spirit he had damned the human race. And since Mephisto was feeling like a helpful devil at the time, he wanted to help Johnny undo the damage. The back-up story tells us how the new BAD-ASS Ghost Rider got her powers. It all had something to do with corpses, human sacrifices and Nicaragua... Or at least that's what I got out of it...

Thoughts: What do you want me to say? I despise the idea of a female Ghost Rider. We already had TWO perfectly fine Ghost Riders in Johnny Blaze, or the WAY superior Danny Ketch. Was this a bad comic book? No, not at all. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed the main story a lot, although I didn't get the origin story in the least... But seriously, what is Marvel's obsession with taking established male characters and turning them female? I don't get it, and I don't like it. Mr. Sinister, Loki, Bullseye, and now Ghost Rider have all been replaced by a female impersonator... Is it THAT hard to come up with a new character? I mean why couldn't Marvel/Rob Williams create a new character(I don't know, an unknown sister of Johnny Blaze or something?), give her some original powers, a cool name, a tight leather outfit, and put THAT comic out? No, instead they're going to try to cash in on the Ghost Rider name(which isn't exactly THAT marketable as it is, considering how many times the GR series has been canceled), by making another Ghost Rider, this time an edgy, female version. I'll stick around for another issue or two, because this comic was better than I ever thought it would be, but after that my curiosity will probably have been sated and I'll almost certainly drop this series.

Score: 6 out of 10.Man does Deathwatch look awesome... AND he has a great name too!!


Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #521(Fear Itself tie-in):

Summary: We kick this issue off with some loony getting fired from his job because he's a racist idiot or something. We then waste four pages establishing that this guy was indeed a racist idiot. Eventually one of the Serpent's hammers falls from space towards Yancy Street and the essence of the Hate-Monger catches a ride back to Earth with the hammer. Once on Earth, the Hate-Monger's essence possesses the racist idiot from earlier. From there we see the Black Panther in his civilian guise of Mr. Okonkwo trying to help the people who have been injured due to the events of Fear Itself by turning his restaurant into something of a hospice. Eventually(and I'm skipping a bunch of stuff because I'm bored and tired), the Hate-Monger and some of his mind controlled goons walk into the restaurant and begin to complain about Okonkwo and other immigrants stealing property and um... steaks from real Americans. BP gets tired of listening to the Hate-Monger talk about steaks and decides to deck him, but is stopped by the American Panther, who is pretty much a guy dressed in a Black Panther outfit with some American colors adorning the outfit. Okonkwo punches the American Panther instead of the Hate-Monger, but the American Panther is TOO American to get hurt from the punch(what?), so Black Panther's assistant(whose name I don't believe was ever mentioned) grabs Okonkwo and walks him out of the restaurant so he could cool his jets. While outside BP realizes that the guy who was claiming to be the Hate-Monger was probably the real Hate-Monger, which would explain how he was able to hold the crowd under his thrall. Before BP can do anything about the situation though, some suit from Homeland Security walks over and tells BP he was under arrest for trying to infiltrate America(or something)...

Thoughts: Um, okay... I guess... This was a Fear Itself tie-in issue in the loosest possible sense. It was thanks to the Serpent the Hate-Monger made it back to Earth, and the people of New York were obviously acting differently thanks to the Serpent's influence, but that was about it. There was no Sin, no Serpent, no Worthy, nothing like that. Instead it was your regular Hate-Monger story where the Hate-Monger did his whole, “Make people angrily scream the word hate while shaking their fists!!” thing. The story was nothing special, and since it was hardly a Fear Itself tie-in, I definitely won't be picking up the next issue.

Score: 4 out of 10.USA, USA, USA!!!!

Ghost Rider #0.1 & Iron Age Alpha #1

We have two Marvel books here, both of which I picked up on a whim last Wednesday. I know next to nothing about both series going in, so we'll see if either one impresses me. Both are written by Rob Williams, who Marvel seems really high on nowadays, so this should give me a good feel for his work. Or maybe not...

Ghost Rider #0.1:

Summary: We kick this one off with a retelling of Johnny Blaze's origin, but with all that “Ghost Rider is an angel now!” stuff thankfully omitted. Johnny whines about the Ghost Rider curse, as well as the fact that every woman he meets usually turns out to be some sort of monster(literally). While sitting in a bar moping, some guy named Adam approaches Johnny and offers to take away the Ghost Rider curse. Johnny figures there's a catch and blows the guy off, but after catching a beating from a drunk, Johnny decides to take Adam up on his offer. Adam tells Johnny that the only catch is that the Ghost Rider curse would randomly attach itself to somebody else, and Johnny, class act that he is, says that's fine by him. With that, Johnny follows Adam's words and is stripped of the Ghost Rider curse, ending this issue.

Thoughts: Huh, I really hated Johnny Blaze in this issue... What the hell happened to him?! I mean, I'm not the biggest fan of his, I've always favored the Danny Ketch version of Ghost Rider, but I don't remember Johnny ever being portrayed as an annoying, slack-jawed hick... I mean he literally screamed, “Yee-Haw!” at one point in this comic! The hell?!? After reading this issue, and seeing what's in store for this series, I don't see myself sticking around for very long. I'll pick up the first few issues since they tie into Fear Itself, but that'll probably be it, unless the new female Ghost Rider really wows me, which I don't expect. I don't get why Danny isn't getting to be GR again if they're done with Johnny... Again. While I'm on the subject of things I don't get, why the HELL is Marvel making the new GR female? What is with their obsession with taking established characters(Mr. Sinister, Bullseye, Loki, Wolverine, Ghost Rider) and changing their sex? Why not, oh, I don't know, CREATE a NEW character! I know, crazy...

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.It's a random scan of Ghost Rider!


The Iron Age Alpha #1:

Summary: While attending the opening of a library in Harlem, Tony Stark is attacked, knocked out and kidnapped by a bunch of Iron Man looking robots. Upon waking up, Tony finds himself in an underwater laboratory and is soon confronted by an older man named Donald Birch. It seems that Birch used to be a villain named the Phantom, but wound up discarding that nickname and heading underground since he realized he just wanted to be alone. Birch's feelings changed after he learned he had terminal cancer, and he decided that he wanted to end the world... And he wanted Tony Stark to be there, since Tony was his reason for becoming a villain. To this end, Birch leads Tony into a room with one of Dr. Doom's time platforms and has his robots bring Jean Grey, back when she was Dark Phoenix(!), to the present. Birch has his robots blast at Dark Phoenix, which does nothing but anger her. Realizing what was going to happen, Tony runs to the time platform and is shunted back in time just as Dark Phoenix sends out a massive wave of fire which ultimately destroys the Earth. Now trapped in the past, Tony wanders the streets of New York, ultimately heading back to his old apartment, where he finds a passed-out drunk younger Tony Stark.

Thoughts: Now this was more like it! This was a nice set-up issue for the forthcoming Iron Age mini-series. With a name like X-Man, you KNOW I'm a big Jean Grey fan, so it was awesome to see her return and destroy the Earth, even if it was only a past version of Jean, and only for this mini. I can see loads of potential here, with the older, more mature Tony having to contend with his younger, drunken self. Yeah, there are things I see that I don't necessarily like(Captain Britain...), but for the most part, I'm looking forward to this one.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.So long, earthlings!!!