Sunday, December 12, 2010

Oh no! It's Brightest Day #15!!!

Brightest Day #15: After some thought, I've decided to give this comic a score of: 0 out of 10.

Hmm, wait... I guess I should at least READ the comic before I rip it, shouldn't I? *sigh* Well, let's see if this comic rises above the 0 I predict it will earn...

This comic takes place entirely in the Martian Manhunter's mind, pretty much making it a pointless exercise. D'Kay, the EVIL green Martian manipulates MM's mind, making him believe Mars had been reborn(Mars: Rebirth, coming to comic book store near you soon!), he had become a member of the JLA and GLC and that he was happy. Then for some reason everybody in the JLA dies. However, Saint Barry Allen is decapitated, thereby bumping this comic's score up to at least a 2! Ahh how I could stare at that image of a headless Saint Barry forever... Beautiful... Anyway, MM figures out that something was wrong, or maybe D'Kay fills him in, I'm not really sure, nor do I care, which leads to MM attacking D'Kay. From there we head to the blue Starman and Congorilla playing chess at the JLA headquarters... CONGORILLA?! Well now we have to subtract a 1 from the final score because that retched fleabag appeared! Where was I... Oh yeah... This issue ends with Firestorm appearing before the two “Justice Leaguers” and I use that term as loosely as possible, to tell them that he was about to destroy the universe.

Well, I guess this could have been worse... I mean this comic could have given me a paper-cut that led to an infection and my subsequent death, so yeah, things definitely COULD have been worse. As it was this was another(in a long line)of Brightest Day comics I just don't care about. An entire issue spent in the Martian Manhunter's mind?? Congorilla playing chess?! Nah, I pass.

As for a score, we started out at 0, but I added 2 because of Saint Barry being beheaded... BUT I then proceeded to take away a 1 because I had to see Congorilla... So after some complicated mathematics, the score of this comic MUST be... Score: 1 out of 10.Now THAT is a welcome sight!!


  1. Wow, that's pretty gory for an all-ages comic! But that aside, this sounds totally dumb. Is the name "D'Kay" supposed to be clever? Because I'd have to disagree with anyone who says so...

  2. I'm not gonna say "I Told you so" X, but I will say "I TOLD YOU YOU'D LIKE SAINT BARRY's OUTCOME IN THIS COMIC!!!!" Lol, man am I right or am I right?

  3. You know, I didn't even realize that until you pointed it out, Marc. That is a pretty gory scene, isn't it? And it didn't really add to the story, since it all didn't happen. Go figure.

    As for D'Kay, yeah... I guess all Martians have names that are comically close to an Earth word. Who knew those Martians were so funny!

    See, I'd have liked it even more if that happened to the REAL Saint Barry, JT! Then this comic would have gotten an automatic 10, as would probably every DC comic I read from now until June!

  4. But wait, let's think about this...does Barry truly deserve such a gruesome fate, or is Geoff Johns the one you're really angry at?? In other words, it's not anything inherent to the character that annoys you, but the way he's being written by Johns, right? Theoretically, if another writer had taken the Flash reigns when Barry came back, they could have done it in a way that didn't relegate Wally to being Barry's lapdog...

  5. Interesting point, Marc... I have to say though, I can't envision a scenario where Wally and Saint Barry COULD co-exist as equals. That's pretty much my gripe. DC has proven that they can't have two characters with the same name where the younger hero is the star of the show. Just look at all of the examples... Bruce Wayne>Dick Grayson, Hal Jordan>Kyle Rayner, Oliver Queen>Connor Hawke, Ray Palmer>Ryan Choi, hell even regular Aquaman>that younger version from a few years back... I blame Johns for bringing Saint Barry back, but I don't think any other writer could have done better or worse than he's done with Saint Barry.

    Then again, I guess it COULD have worked if Saint Barry came back and took up another name, leaving Wally to be the "main" Flash(like the Bucky/Steve Rogers/Captain America thing), but DC just seems unable to resist the urge to hot-shot the older character back to their former role... On second thought I guess you're right... The problem is more on Johns being a lazy writer than on Saint Barry returning...

  6. Your point about multiple versions of one hero being unable to co-exist in the DC universe is true enough. It's just too bad someone can't break the mold and do something different for a change.

    It's interesting to compare DC to Marvel in that sense. Marvel essentially has two Captain Americas running around, and no one is crying foul about fact, there were a lot of people worried that Bucky would get the royal DC-style shaft when Steve Rogers came back. I'm so glad Marvel let Brubaker do something completely different and break free of people's expectations. Now, if only we could get Brubaker to give Johns a talking-to...

  7. Lmfao! Wonderful. This is what horrible comics are all about!! Having the X-Man rip them to tiny microscopic pieces.

    You've made my day. Lol.

  8. Exactly! I SO expected Steve to take back the Cap mantle once he returned, but no, instead he's doing the whole Super-Soldier thing. Granted, I'm sure we'll see Steve as Cap again eventually, but at least Bucky is still being established as a somebody instead of being Wally Wested once Steve came back!