Captain America Corps #5

It's the last issue of the Cap Corps mini-series... This mini has left me feeling kind of conflicted about it, but I'll hit more on that during the “Thoughts” section of this post. Let's get to it.

Captain America Corps #5(of 5):

Summary: Having dealt with the majority of the Americommand forces, US Agent, Commander A and Bucky Cap head to 1941 Cap and American Dream to assist them against the Americommand's leaders. The battle swings in the direction of the Americommand when Machinesmith, in the body of a massive Ameridroid attacks. However, the reality warping wave from Superia's Cosmic Cube hits the room, reverting all of the members of the Americommand leadership to their normal appearances, which takes Machinesmith and Major America out of the equation. With her plans falling apart, Superia decides to grab the Cosmic Cube and use it even though it wasn't fully charged up yet. Superia's underling, Bright Star betrays Superia and snatches the Cube for herself and prepares to warp reality to HER whims. Before she can though, everybody in the room is sucked into the Cube where they meet with the Contemplator, who had been pulled into the Cube last issue. It seems that he's managed to gain some semblance of control of the Cube between issues and has figured out that if 1941 Cap combined with one of the many Steve Rogers that Superia had captured and put in the Cube reality MIGHT right itself... Or Steve would be eliminated from reality in 1941, which COULD completely change the way WWII turned out. Steve does what you'd expect, and merges with one of his alternate reality counterparts and reality is righted, with all of the various heroes returning to their proper places in the timestream... 1941 Cap forgets what happened(for the moment), US Agent gets stuck back in the mess he was pulled out of, American Dream remembers it all and is honored to have had the chance to serve with the heroes she did. Bucky Cap is met by Steve Rogers(who both remember the mission) in the(pre Fear Itself) present and hands himself over to the authorities to face his crimes as the Winter Soldier, and we end this one 400 years in the future where Commander A is christening a new carrier as the USS Steve Rogers, showing that Steve's legacy, the thing Superia tried so hard to wipe out, never did die.

Thoughts: So about those conflicted feelings... You see, I STILL profess that this mini-series should have had the Red Skull as the main villain... I mean Superia is okay and all, but it was a Captain America story bridging 5 different generations of Cap. How COULDN'T the Skull be the mastermind here!? Now with that said, Roger Stern did a great job with Superia as the main threat here. Granted, she is no Red Skull, but she played the villain's role well. Most importantly, this mini-series gave me what will probably be the final Bucky-as-Cap appearance we'll ever be graced with... That's really pretty sad... I mean even if Bucky were to come back(fingers crossed), it wouldn't be as Captain America, so this was it for him as Cap(except in flashbacks)... Taking everything into account, I did enjoy this issue and this mini, and so I'll give it a score of...

Score: 8 out of 10.Dammit do I miss Bucky......

Captain America Corps #4

I'm still collecting this mini-series? Huh. Well, since it's sitting here in front of me I might as well give it a read.

Captain America Corps #4(of 5):

Summary: The Captain America Corps manage to convince Nick Fury and his rebel group to launch an attack on the Americommand's headquarters. Fury has some schematics of the Americommand's base, but there are two areas his people weren't able to get information about. On top of that, the Contemplator(the cosmic being who put the Cap Corps together) tells the Corps that his cosmic awareness wasn't able to pierce the mountain, meaning the Corps and their allies would have to break into the Americommand's base as opposed to simply teleporting inside. The Corps and Fury's rebels successfully sneak into the base and launch their attack, splitting into three groups, one led by US Agent to occupy most of the Americommand's fighters, one group(featuring Commander A, Bucky Cap and Hank Pym) heading towards one of the Americommand's secret locations and the final group, featuring Captain America(a very young Steve Rogers), American Dream and the Contemplator heading towards the final secret location. Bucky's group arrives at their location first and finds the brain of Tony Stark “living” in a jar. Tony's brain tells the heroes that the leader of the Americommand was indeed Superia. Meanwhile, the Contemplator and his group gain access to their secret area and discover a Cosmic Cube. The Contemplator gets too close and is sucked into the Cube, where he discovers hundreds of Steve Rogers from alternate dimensions still frozen in their block of ice. Before Cap and Dream and figure out where the Contemplator went, they are confronted by Superia and her top two henchmen, ending this issue.

Thoughts: This issue was okay. I mean this entire mini-series is okay. It's a fine little story, and sadly, it's probably one of the last places I'll ever see Bucky as Captain America... But while I do like most of the characters present here, at it's heart this is only a mediocre Cap tale. When it's finished, I doubt I'll remember having read it six weeks down the road. Plus how can this be a Cap story without the Red Skull as the main villain?!

Score: 6 out of 10.Come on now, how can Pym identify the brain by it's robotic voice!?

Quick Hits: Superman/Batman #87, Captain America Corps #3, X-Factor #224 & Thunderbolts #162

As I'm short for time, but really want to get these reviews done before tomorrow, I'm going to pull out yet another old chestnut from the past... Reviews in three sentences or less! So here we go, 4 comics, 12 sentences to review all four of them. Get ready, get set, go!

Superman/Batman #87:

What Happened: Joker tries to attack Clark Kent, but Kent is able to avoid Mistah J's attacks until Batman shows up to help. Ultimately Joker hops out the window with Clark, but Clark gets saved by Bats before making the quick switch to Superman and capturing Joker in Joker's parachute. This one ends with Clark complaining to the crooked Gotham newspaper editor before firing him on behalf of Bruce Wayne(which is kind of bizarre...).

Thoughts: Meh. This was an okay story, nothing special or great or anything. It was kind of fun seeing Clark try to save his secret identity from Joker, since all it would have taken was one good hit from Joker for Clark's identity to have been blown. This is one of those perfectly mediocre comic books I mention from time to time. It wasn't horrible or anything, but I sure won't remember it in a week's time.

Score: 7 out of 10.Um, shouldn't Clark have moved his head out of the way of that bullet?


Captain America Corps #3(of 5):

What Happened: The Cap Corps decide to figure out why the Avengers never came to be in this new timeline by talking to Wasp, checking on Pym in the crazyhouse(HA!) and checking out Tony Stark's corpse. We learn that Wasp is working with the fascist Captain America wannabes, Pym gets kidnapped from the nuthouse by Bucky and 1940's Steve Rogers, and US Agent learns that Stark's brain had been removed from his body. This one ends with us learning that old Cap villain Superia seems to be behind the fascist regime, and that she was keeping Tony's talking brain in a tube while she tried to control the Cosmic Cube.

Thoughts: Again, meh. Pym in the crazyhouse made me laugh, because it seems whatever dimension you go to, poor Pym is nuts, Wasp being a traitor didn't surprise me, because I can't stand her, and the Superia reveal didn't do anything for me since I'm pretty sure we'll learn that Red Skull is actually the mastermind behind all of the Cap troubles. I mean really, who else would try to erase Steve Rogers from history and turn America into a police state ruled by people wearing variations of Cap's costume?

Score: 6 out of 10.Poor Pym... Crazy in any dimension...


X-Factor #224:

What Happened: Rahne gives birth to a little were-creature by vomiting it up. The were-baby attacks Agamemnon(who captured Rahne last issue) and mauls him, which freaks Rahne out when she wakes up, leading her to scaring the poor were-baby away. X-Factor run across the were-baby and accidentally blast it away, at which time Hela tries to take it as her own. Hela is attacked by several demons and gods that also want the were-baby as their own, leading to a massive explosion. In the end, Jack Russell finds the were-baby and decides to raise it in the wilderness, while Rahne acts crazy and swears that having a were-baby was God's punishment for the whole murderous X-Force thing.

Thoughts: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I actually broke my own rule and used 5 sentences instead of 3 to review this comic. What can I say, since I make the rules, I can break 'em! Seriously though, I REALLY enjoyed this issue, thus explaining why I needed the extra sentences to review it. Peter David was on the ball here, as the dialogue was great, the story was pretty good, and I had no complaints about the art. Hell, this was one of the funnier comic books I've read in a while. As a matter of fact, Rahne's were-baby was downright adorable, and I don't use that word a lot! Now that the whole saga of Rahne's baby is over, I'm expecting X-Factor to get back to normal as we SHOULD get away from the magic stuff and head back to the more down to earth stuff that made this comic so great... At least until Rahne's were-baby shows up again, almost undoubtedly raised at an accelerated rate.

Score: 9 out of 10.Rahne's baby is probably the cutest were-baby I've EVER seen!


Thunderbolts #162(Fear Itself tie-in):

What Happened: While the T-Bolts are trying to defend Chicago from a horde of little demon-looking creatures, Fixer and the Beta-Bolts are betraying the T-Bolts. Man-Thing winds up ending the threat of the little demon-creatures by absorbing them and growing to an enormous size, at which point Satana removes a “bulb” from Man-Thing, which will grow into his next, um, incarnation. Without his bulb, giant Man-Thing bursts into flames, threatening all of Chicago, while Fixer manages to convince/coerce Moonstone and Satana to join himself and the Betas, leaving the rest of the T-Bolts to deal with a giant, flaming Man-Thing.

Thoughts: Eh, no real complaints here. Fixer betraying the T-Bolts and helping the treacherous Betas doesn't really shock me since Fixer has been secretly working with the suddenly evil Baron Zemo. What does surprise me is Fixer taking Moonstone with him, since we ALL know Moonstone will stab Fixer and the Betas in the back the first chance she gets... I mean really, Fixer has been working with Moonstone for YEARS now, doesn't he know how she operates yet? As for Satana, I'm hoping that she regains her senses and returns to the T-Bolts, because she's too good a character to throw in with the loser Betas. I'm not exactly sure why this comic got a “Fear Itself” banner on it, but it does... Good old Marvel...

Score: 7 out of 10.Man-Thing is SUCH a playa!!

Quick Hits: Fear Itself: The Home Front #4, Avengers #15, Daredevil #1 & Captain America Corps #2

Hey there X-Maniacs, X here with a cheap excuse of a post... You see, after last week's monstrous pull list, ol' X needed a bit of a breather... I mean reviewing about 20 books every week can be tough for one guy to do! So I'm going to dust off one of my great old ideas that everybody used to love... And by “great old ideas” I actually mean “lazy ass ideas” and by “love” I actually mean “hate”. Yes, it's time for a tired blogger's best friend, the Quick Hits post!! Here's how this'll work. Basically I'll take four comics, give a synopsis of each comic(in five sentences or less), give my thoughts on them, add a score and a scan, and that's it. I very well might do another one of these posts tomorrow, before getting my lazy self back to the full reviews. But hey, a half-assed review is better than no review at all, right? Right?!?

Fear Itself: The Home Front #4(of 7):

What Happened: Speedball tries to prevent Attuma from destroying St. John's, Newfoundland(that's in Canada for those of you who suck at Geography), and succeeds... For a moment. Basically all Speedball does is MASSIVELY piss off Attuma, who floods the entire city, presumably killing thousands, as well as possibly Speedball himself. There were three other stories in this one too, but they all sucked, so I'm going to exercise my blogging right to pretend they never happened!

Thoughts: Well, it sucks that I had to pay $4 for what was basically a 14 page comic. Sure, the Speedball story was written by Christos Gage, who'd I'd easily put in my top five list of favorite current writers, but considering I didn't even read the second story(starring Jimmy Woo and the terrible Agents of Atlas), the third story was a one-pager written AND illustrated by Howard Chaykin, whose art I don't like(to put it nicely!), and the last story was about the Blue Marvel, whoever the hell THAT is, I definitely didn't have a lot to enjoy here... So while I DID enjoy the Speedball story, I have to take the other stories into account as well, thus bringing this issue's score down to a...

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.When in doubt, post a splash page!


Avengers #15(Fear Itself tie-in):

What Happened: The Serpent possessed Hulk is wreaking havoc in Brazil, leaving Spider-Woman, Protector(can't we PLEASE just call him Marvel Boy again?), Ms. Marvel and Hawkeye to deal with him... Yeah, that'll happen. Everybody talks for hours, and the battle ends with the Avengers LITERALLY hiding from the Hulk... Yeah...

Thoughts: I don't think I'll ever understand Bendis. I mean does Avengers editor Tom Brevoort actually read the Fear Itself Avengers tie-in issues Bendis is writing, or does he just shrug his shoulders and figure, “Ah that Bendis... I know he'll do good work, no need to check to see what HE'S doing!” Because Bendis has been pumping out some of his worst work since Secret Invasion in Avengers and New Avengers since Fear Itself started, which leads me to draw a single conclusion. Bendis should be kept FAR, FAR away from crossovers. Either that or take him off of one of the Avengers titles, because this was literally unreadable. And yes, I know what the word “literally” means. I literally could NOT read this comic. I skipped several pages of useless dialogue, because it served NO purpose. Can we please get the Bendis who wrote Ultimate Fallout #1 back, because Fear Itself Bendis is frightfully terrible...

Score: 0 out of 10. Yup, for the second straight week, a comic gets the dreaded imperfect score. You know, there was a time when I went MONTHS without giving an imperfect score. How I long for those days...It's official. Bendis is out of control again...


Daredevil #1:

What Happened: Matt Murdoch has returned to Hell's Kitchen and has restarted his law firm with Foggy Nelson for the 1,987,345th time. This time though, any lawyer he goes against in court throws the fact that he is Daredevil in his face, ruining many of his cases. Besides that, he gets a tip from the new Assistant DA that one of his clients was in bigger trouble than Matt realized, and that maybe Daredevil could help the guy out. While sleuthing, DD is disoriented by a gun that specifically messes with his senses, and this issue ends with Captain America's shield hurtling towards him(!?).

Thoughts: Eh. I really have no complaints here. I trust Mark Waid as a writer implicitly, so I'm going to hold off judgment until I've read a few issues. There were a few things here that bugged me, Matt's super-chipper attitude, the fact that ONCE Matt returned to New York so did Daredevil(and Matt wonders why everybody knows he's DD...), but like I said, I'll wait a few issues before I decide to really praise or bash this series.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.Real classy... Throw a pencil at a blind man...


Captain America Corps #2(of 5):

What Happened: After being defeated by the Ameridroid, the Captain America Corps are captured(ROLL CALL! Steve Rogers from 1941, Bucky from before Fear Itself, American Dream from the M2 Universe, US Agent from the beginning of his days as the Agent, and Commander A from the future) and tortured by the nefarious Americommand. The Cap Corps manage to escape, free a few other “undesirables” such as Peter Parker, Luke Cage and Sam Wilson from prison, before they are taken out of that reality by the cosmic Contemplator. While the Contemplator is explaining to the Corps that the world was messed up because there was no Steve Rogers to hold the Avengers together, there seems to be some dissension in the Americommand, as two agents seemed tired of Major America's barbaric rule.

Thoughts: I know I said it before, but it bears saying again... Eh. Nothing really special here. The story was okay, although there's still a mess of things we need to find out including how the Americommand managed to take over the country, who Major America is, and how the Contemplator was going to have the Cap Corps fix things. Since it's a Captain America mini-series, and my poor, poor Bucky is in it, I'll continue reading, but here's hoping things pick up a bit next issue.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.Best team EVER!!!

Captain America Corps #1 & X-Factor #221

Back to Marvel, with a mini-series I know NOTHING about, and one of those X-books...

Captain America Corps #1(of 5):

Summary: This issue kicks off with some Eskimos discovering Captain America(Steve Rogers) frozen in his block of ice back in the day. Before events transpire the way they're supposed to, the block of ice suddenly vanishes from that reality. One of the Elders of the Universe(the Contemplator), heads to the Watcher's base on the Blue Area of the Moon, and tells the Watcher that Steve Rogers's's's were being plucked from all over the multiverse, and that if it continued at the rate it was happening, there could be a multiversal catastrophe. The Watcher, being the Watcher, tells Contemplator that was too bad, but he could only watch, leaving Contemplator to try have to solve this mystery on his own. To that end he grabs several Captain America related characters out of history, and explains what was happening. So who are these characters? The Captain America from the early 40's(Steve Rogers), the current Captain America, or I guess the former Captain America now(GRRRR.....), Bucky Barnes, US Agent(John Walker, right after his Cap run), American Dream(!!!), who was from the MC2 universe, and Commander A, the Captain America of the 25th century, who I know nothing about. Needless to say, these very different characters don't exactly believe the Contemplator, so he teleports them to one of the altered Earths, where they are immediately set upon by that world's police force, the Americops(!!!). After a quick scuffle, the Cap Corps decide to retreat to try to figure out what was going on, but unfortunately run right into the Ameridriod(!!!)

Thoughts: Yeah, I'm a sucker for Captain America history, and a total Captain America fanboy, so I really enjoyed this one... Sue me. I mean damn, this issue referenced Americop, the Ameridroid, and featured Bucky, Cap, US Agent(when he still pretty crazy), and American Dream... It was AWESOME! Hell, I don't even care about the storyline, as long as this mini-series keeps on giving me obscure Cap facts, I'm THERE!

Score: 9 out of 10.Yep, I'm going to enjoy this mini-series...


X-Factor #221:

Summary: We get started with Feral trying to attack Wolfsbane, but rapidly realizing that she was intangible. This confuses Feral, until Wolfsbane tells Feral that she had died, at which point Feral remembers that and vanishes. Confused, Shatterstar and Wolfsbane leave the church they were in and begin to head home when Feral reappears. Feral tells Wolfsbane that several creatures were interested in her unborn child, and that she was there to lead the creatures to Wolfsbane, since one of the creatures promised Feral they'd return her to life if she served as a homing device around Wolfsbane. From there a demon wolf attacks Wolfsbane, but is decapitated by Shatterstar. Unfortunately, the wolf's head grows a body and it's body grows a head, leaving the two heroes with twice the demon wolf. Deciding retreat was in order, Shatterstar and Wolfsbane steal a taxi and try to drive back to X-Factor's headquarters. While that's going on, Layla Miller is spreading salt in specific symbols around the building in order to keep any demons out. Meanwhile, Shatterstar and Wolfsbane are jumped by a giant lion goddess, and have to abandon their taxi. Two canine demons show up and attack the lion goddess since they wanted Wolfsbane's child for themselves. With the various gods and demons distracted, Shatterstar and Wolfsbane continue onward to X-Factor's building. We end this one with X-Factor's receptionist, Pip the Troll, calling his mystery boss and telling him to get over to the building since so many others were also after Wolfsbane's unborn child.

Thoughts: I enjoyed this one. It wasn't spectacular, but it was good. It had a horror movie feel to it, with Wolfsbane being heckled by the ghost of Feral, while she and Shatterstar were being chased by various freaks. The ending, with Pip revealing he was planning an apparent double-cross on the team was the perfect cliffhanger, as it makes X-Factor's base as perilous as the streets outside. I'm pretty interested to see where this whole pregnancy angle is gonna go.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.Yeah, she's a ghost.