Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Uncanny X-Men #504-507

I guess now is as good a time as any to speed read through the last four issues of Uncanny X-Men. There was a time when my whole life revolved around reading the latest issue of Uncanny X-Men/X-Men. However, reading a current issue of X-Men is WAY worse than any of the harsh interrogation techniques the CIA employs. Hee-hee-hee, did you see that? I just made a joke based on current events! Sorry, I'll stop now... For the record I tend to grade X-Titles much more harshly than other comic books because of my strong feelings towards them. Anyway, here are my scores for Uncanny #504-506, as well as a review for the most recent issue of Uncanny, #507.

-Uncanny X-Men #504: 3 out of 10

-Uncanny X-Men #505: 4 out of 10

-Uncanny X-Men #506: 4 out of 10

-OK, here's the review for the most recent issue of Uncanny I have, #507. We start up with Beast, Archangel, Dr. Nemesis, Madison Jeffries and Dr. Yuriko Takiguchi faced with a giant dinosaur that wants to eat them(as most giant dinosaurs are apt to do). Warren transforms into his blue-skinned/metal winged Apocalypse appearance and manages to take the dino down. Beast is shocked that Warren can transform himself and confronts him, wanting to know when Warren gained this new ability, but Warren blows Beast off.

-Colossus and Emma wind up battling some old Russian guy with the ability to steal secrets from people with a touch and reveal those secrets in his tattoos... Yeah, I know... Colossus and Emma defeat the Russian and his cronies and Colossus seems like he is FINALLY ready to let Shadowcat go and move on with his life.

-Cyclops meets with the mayor of San Fransisco, who tells him she is alarmed by the fact that the X-Men have been taking in a bunch of refugees. She tells Scott that regular citizens feel like Scott is assembling a militia. Scott retorts that he is building an army... Huh? How is THAT supposed to make the mayor feel any better?

-Finally(mercifully!)we end this issue with Magneto and the High Evolutionary preforming some kind of experiments out in space. Apparently these experiments are supposed to give Mags his powers back, and as the issue closes it seems the High Evolutionary was successful.

Jeez, where do I even start?!? I guess I'll start off with the characters in this comic book... I hate almost all of them! I can barely tolerate Scott nowadays, I can't stand Emma(I'd much rather see Jean in her spot), I hate that damn pedophile Colossus, I hate X-23 with a blinding passion, and I don't care about Armor or Pixie one way or the other(I'm a guy, not a girl!). I will admit that I do like Beast. He is really the only constant in this series right now. Beast is the same as he was 18 years ago when I first started reading X-comics.

Ugh... I really don't have the patience to add much more here. I miss the way the X-titles used to be before the DREAD LORD BENDIS and that idiot Joe Quesada destroyed Marvel's mutant population. Oh well, I'll give this issue a 3 out of 10 and move on.

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