Monday, October 18, 2010

The Return of Bruce Wayne #3(of 6)

Overall: We begin this trip into the Twilight Zone with Bruce Wayne waking up next to Blackbeard the pirate in the year 1718. Yes, THAT Blackbeard the pirate. Blackbeard seems to believe that Bruce is actually a pirate enemy of his called the Black Pirate(jeez, I guess when you're a pirate you'd just add the word “black” to something and you'd get your nickname!). At first Bruce denies being the Black Pirate, but after Blackbeard begins to threaten someone else Blackbeard's pirates had captured, Bruce plays along and tells Blackbeard he'd take him to the Black Pirate's secret gold stash provided Blackbeard leaves the captive unharmed. So Bruce leads Blackbeard and company through some caves in old Gotham, passes a bunch of traps, and runs into the... *sigh* Bat-People... The Bat-People hang upside down from the cave roof and shoot bat-shaped arrows at people... Is this really happening? Anyway, it turns out Blackbeard's captive was the real Black Pirate and for some unexplained reason the Bat-People like him, so the Bat-People chase off Blackbeard and his men. The Bat-People can also recognize Bruce as their... Savior? Friend? Fellow Bat-guy? Well I don't know WHAT they recognize him as, but they allow him access to their top secret cave room where Bruce finds his old cape from when he was first thrown through time by Darkseid. In the end, Bruce gets tossed forward in time again, and this issue comes to an end.

Wow, I really don't know what else to say except that this was horrible. Yeah, I'm sure there are going to be plenty of folks(namely the hardcore Grant Morrison fanatics)out there who are going to disagree with me, but this comic was bad. Really bad. I have NO idea what was going on through half of the story, and the stuff that I did understand was boring. The Bat-People? A bunch of cave-dwellers who hang upside down under Gotham and worship an old Batman cape and cowl?? And the dialogue! UGH!! You know, I rag on Brian Michael Bendis for his dialogue, but Grant Morrison is giving Bendis a run for his bad dialogue money! No, scratch that, I'd go so far as to say that right now Morrison's dialogue is WAY worse than Bendis'. The good thing is that I'll never have to read this comic again. The bad thing is that I still have to read issues 4 and 5...

Score: 3 1/2 out of 10.What is with Grant Morrison and whistling???

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