Review: We kick off with the Firestorms realizing they didn't destroy the DCU(no, that distinction Geoff Johns and Dan Didio), but instead were transported to the Anti-Matter Universe to find the captive White Lantern Battery. We then move to Dove and Deadman, who have apparently become an item... Um, is this the same Dove who was mortified at a strip club in a recent issue of Birds of Prey?! Anyway, the Deadman stuff ends when he takes his 98 year old grandfather on a motorcycle ride. Finally we get the denizens of Hawkworld attacking the Star Sapphire world of Zamaron. Carol Ferris leads the battle against the Hawkworlders, and we finish things off with Hawkgirl's mother being possessed by the entity of love, the bizarrely named Predator.
Thoughts: Right off the bat I'll give the Firestorm portion of the story a 2, mainly because I didn't have to suffer through any of Deathstorm's lame dialogue. From there it's a -1 for Dove sleeping with Deadman, because that is SO out of her established character. When did she become a whore?! I'll give the stuff between Deadman and his grandfather a 2 because it was okay, if incredible hokey. Finally, ANYTHING concerning Hawkworld gets an automatic -2. After some adding and subtracting we wind up with a final score of...
Score: 1 out of 10. Well, at least it wasn't a zero... Yet.
The Firestorms talk and do stuff.
LMAO Why's she gotta be a whore just cause she sexed up Deadman? They've been hanging and she likes him, and SOMEONE has to care when one of the two dies. Also, maybe she was mortified because she's WITH Deadman and didn't wanna see naked dudes at the strip club?
ReplyDeleteAhh JT... It's DOVE! I mean come on, she couldn't handle ONE beer and was mortified by seeing some almost naked guys at a strip club, but she's fine with being boinked by Deadman?! Who she's known for what? A few weeks tops? If EVER there was a character who'd I'd have expected to save it for marriage it would have been Dove... I guess not though!
ReplyDeleteLmao... I thought she was loving on Hawk, that's what had ME so shocked. I mean, she was all over Hank and watching him in BoP, now she's just like, eh may as well bang Deadman. Just cause Grayson's a circus guy and has a rep that lead to Boston getting some?!
ReplyDeleteDude, exactly! I thought Hawk and Dove were an item(or at least WOULD be one!), especially with Hawk bringing her those flowers on her b-day! Now she's suddenly with Deadman! Damn. Poor Hawk!
ReplyDeleteYep, one of those three is dying. No if's about it, some people gotta die and it'll be one of those three, sadly it'll probably be Dawn.
ReplyDeleteCould be Hawk though. Especially if Dove and Deadman start shacking up, he'd be kind of a third wheel then. I'd rather Deadman goes, since his name IS DEADman, but what can ya do! :P
ReplyDeleteI just picked Dove since she's one of the three that hasn't been dead yet. Then again I could easily see Deadman dying and them trying to make him into a B-Lister even though no one would give a damn about him anymore.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but Deadman HAS to go! I mean that would be like if Iceman started shooting fire instead of ice... I just makes NO sense! Hopefully once BD ends and he does whatever the hell he's supposed to do he can go back to a blissful life of c-list obscurity.
ReplyDeleteLol, Iceman shooting fire. I'm pretty positive he'll be Dead again, he's only back for Brightest day, and he'll probably dive in front of the boomerang and save Dove.
ReplyDeleteI like how you're more hung up over the fact that Dove slept with a guy she's known for a short time than the fact that the guy is...you know, DEAD.
ReplyDeleteOr is Deadman supposedly "alive" again now? It seems to go back and forth so much that I can't keep track.
Hmm, I like the death scene you laid out for Deadman, JT... I wouldn't mind that at all. I mean it's better then the alternative, Deadman remaining alive and changing his name to Aliveman...
ReplyDeleteHA!!! No, Dove didn't sleep with a corpse, Marc, Deadman is currently alive(at least he is this week...). How long he remains that way remains to be seen though.
Haha damn Marc where you been at buddy?! Deadman has been Aliveman since like Marc when Blackest Night ended.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, I could see Hawk failing to catch the boomerang and failing one of the easiest things to ever do to regain life. The Deadman saves Dove, then it counts for EMBRACING LIFE and he comes back alive...again. Watch. Mark my words X-Man.
Wait, would that mean Hawk would have to die again because he failed the easiest task ever? 'Cause that would both suck and be hilarious at the same time!
ReplyDeleteLol I'd assume since everyone else gained life from doing their missions that if you don't do it in a certain time frame you'd probably die again?
ReplyDeleteGood question... I mean is there a time limit on this junk? Does Deadman HAVE to embrace life by like March 17th 2011 by 11:59pm or he gets re-killed off or something? Yet another gapping logic hole in the mess that is the GREATEST super-hero tale of our, or anybody else's lifetimes...
ReplyDeleteWhy do we have so many damn crossovers? War of the Supermen, Blackest Night, Brightest Day, War of the Green Lanterns, FLashpoint. Goddamn, can't we have ONE COMIC that has just ONE LINEAR STORY?!
ReplyDeleteSimple. Crossovers=$$$. You can usually get a lower-selling comic(say Titans)to get a few months worth of extra readers if you make it the part of an x-over. That's pretty much my main gripe with x-overs from BOTH companies. They only exsist to create $, not tell a good story... It all began with the Onslaught x-over, which should have only ran through the X-titles and yet somehow books like The Green Goblin were involved! Since then, both companies use the old Summer x-over simply to try to inflate their bottom line. Sucks but true.
ReplyDeleteThat's very lame. But I will say, Flashpoint has generated a little interest for me since it's basically what If's, and I like what ifs. What if Kal's ship never landed, what if the Wayne's weren't dead, etc.
ReplyDeleteI'm also looking forward to War of the Green Lanterns now that I know it'll just focus on Hal, Kyle, John, Guy and Sinestro.
I do LOVES me some What If's... But still, I've already stated that I won't buy any of that crap, and I stand by my proclamation... For now. Of course if I hear enough good things about it, I'll about-face on the issue quicker than a politician! :P
ReplyDeleteThat sounds kind of dumb though... Um, if Supes ship never landed on Earth, there'd be no Supes. If Bats folks didn't die, there'd be no Bats! It really does sound like a rip-off of the Age of Apocalypse. I guess Chairman Johns is done stealing old DC ideas and he's decided to steal old Marvel ideas now! :D
Lmao, that politician line made me think of Howard Dean which reminded me of...yeah, lol. And I'll be reading Flashpoint so I'll let ya know via review how it is buddy.
ReplyDeleteHaha, well I don't know for SURE. I think it's more of Reverse Flash changing shit? Don't quote me X. What I DO know is War of Green Lanterns has the GL's rings stop working except for our four earthlings and Sinestro... why he's involved I don't know but I'm not complaining, and that sounds interesting to me. Hell, more John, Kyle and Guy is always good for me.
WHAT ABOUT HOWARD DEAN?!?!?!? :D
ReplyDeleteYeah, that sounds likely based on the premise you gave. Since I'll be dropping the main Green Lantern book, I don't think I'll be reading the War of the Lanterns junk either, so yeah...
YAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
ReplyDeleteMan, what WILL you be following for DC come this summer? REBELS, Teen Titans and what else?
Oh, there's still plenty. All of the Bat-titles, REBELS, Zatanna, the Supes books(Man, Boy, Girl), WW, and I'm sure there's a few others. See, I'm only avoiding it if it has any connection to Chairman Johns. If he's writing it, or if his work crosses over into it, I won't be buying it. It's that simple. I'm hoping that by this summer I'm not reading or receiving ANYTHING written by Johns. He's officially become my new Chris Yost.
ReplyDeleteMan..... that's such an insult. Where IS Yost anyway? I haven't heard his name since he left Red Robin.
ReplyDeleteSee, when you say something like, "Where IS Yost anyway?" I have to fight back the urge to say some truly terrible things... I'm gonna simply say who cares, since that's the least nasty thing I could possibly say! If I had to guess though, I'd say he must be working on Marval's animated stuff, because to my knowledge, he's not working for DC at all, and I don't think he's done anything for Marvel since an X-Men mini a few months back. Yeah, Johns is about as bad as Yost in my book. If you want to know how bad that is, I didn't ever compare Bendis at his worst to Yost. At least Bendis didn't kill/destroy most of what I enjoyed in Marvel like Johns is doing at DC... Plus all the stuff I hated that Bendis did, he's currently fixing, which is something I doubt Johns ever could accomplish. Once Saint Barry came out of the bottle, you can't put him back... >:(
ReplyDeleteYost is gonna come get you man, and out you in a terrible book thats gonna suck until they have to beg Fabian Nicieza to take over and return you to glory.
ReplyDeleteMan, you HATE Johns. I see your point but I don't dislike him like that, hell as long as he doesn't mess up Jason I'm fine with him, which is more than I can say for your buddy Grant.
My greatest comic book nightmare is Yost taking over a book where Nate shows up, because I really don't know what I'd do... I mean on one hand I have EVERYTHING Nate's EVER appeared in. But on the other hand I've sworn to never knowingly buy anything written by Yost... That would be quite the conundrum...
ReplyDeleteYes, it's true, I think I really do HATE Johns... I mean, I don't even think it's dislike anymore, I think I've graduated into full blown hatred. That's really something else, because I used to LOVE the guy to the point of frigging hero-worship... See, while you're worried about just the one character, I'm more worried about the harm being done to the DCU as a whole. Grant screwing up Jason isn't gonna kill DC, but Chairman Johns destroying all of the second-tier titles and characters? THAT could have some wicked consequences down the road. He HAS to let his fanboy ego take a backseat before it's too late for DC to right the ship...
You'd buy it, ya just probably would never EVER read it. Man that would really suck though, I see your point. That's like if Grant did a Jason Todd mini...oh God.
ReplyDeleteI kinda have more faith in everyone else, I'm sure if Geoff's stuff does ruin DC then hopefully Ed Brubaker or someone can come over and save it, I'm trying to be optimistic about it.
Hmm... I think you're right. I almost definitely will buy it, but I doubt I could resist reading it, even by Yost... I guess that's the only way I'd actually break my No More Yost vow.
ReplyDeleteIDK, JT... Once Johns brings back EVERY SINGLE SILVER AGE CHARACTER EVER, I can't see how the damage can be undone. Unless you kill all of them back off, which is something I would wholeheartedly support.
See how helpful I am? Man I'm awesome, you should subscribe to JTTech to help ya with all your Chris Yost problems.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm still waiting til Brightest Day ends to give Johns a chance to rectify some things.... I don't know though. I'll be optimistic.
JTTech? What exactly are the services you provide?
ReplyDeleteNah, I've given up on Chairman Johns. My well of forgiveness has dried up...
Lmao... JTTech provides, and I quote "To be honest, we're more into the invasion of privacy business, not the creation of privacy business. "
ReplyDeleteLmao... I feel like that's a KOTH quote, I could be wrong... but it sounds SO familiar...
HA!!!!! I was rolling at the fact that you QUOTED JTTech's company line! You are officially awesome again! :D "And I quote"... That's frigging classic!
ReplyDeleteDUDE!! Have I finally stumped the master?! Miz Liz to Hank when she was divorcing Buck!
Lmao, well thank you, thank you. Funny thing is I mistakenly quoted Michael Cole with that "And I quote" line. I love this KOTH quote game. Btw I got one for you "TWO Boxes for Charcoal Bobby! Two!"
ReplyDeleteLmao OH YEAAAAHHH!!! Everyone is allowed one. BTW I love that because later he's like "Leggo my Eggo's Miz Liz!" and that dude's like "I'll take my Ostrich skin boots and put yo Eggo's back inthe toaster!" Lmmfao, I laugh SO hard at that line.
That JTTech line still has me chuckling...
ReplyDeletePoor Hank... Just couldn't believe they excluded propane!
The eggos line and when he compares Miz Liz to a block of ice to Bobby are two of my favorite Buck lines... "I married Miz Liz, didn't I? HAHAHAHAH!!!" That makes me laugh EVERY SINGLE TIME! Besides how funny the line itself is in the context of the situation, I love the way Bobby just totally doesn't get the joke and Buck is laughing his ass off like that was the funniest thing ever.
Haha, thanks X.
ReplyDeleteLmao, he was SO upset. And NO ONE else cared at all, even the people AT Strickland.
Lol, yeah Bobby was SO lost. That's another great episode. Much like when that dude says, "I'd be wetting myself TOO if I were you." Lmao, he just calls him out for being so afraid he whizzes his pants.
I love that Dale and the guys were like, "We just dodged a very boring bullet there..." EVERYBODY is just SO tired of Hank's bizarre propane lust!
ReplyDeleteAnd then he tells Hank he was parked too far away from the curb!! "You're not a cop!" "That's why it was only a warning." HA!!!
I think one of the funniest things I've ever seen that related to KOTH but wasn't on it, was on Simpsons when Their flipping channels and you just hear on the TV "Bobby, I think I got propane in my urethra!" Lmao, it's extra funny if you wonder HOW that's possible, and remember that Hank's mistress is sweet lady propane, and he's pimping her out all over this town.
ReplyDeleteLol that dude was GREAT. That whole episode is just genius, "That's right, ya buncha back-water hicks! Ya MISSED Buck again!!!" *PUNCH*
Wow. First of all, how can she be mortified by male strippers? They're the 8th Wonder of the World. Plus, it's gotta happen sometime. I mean really. Don't you notice that she's been really friendly with Boston since the beginning? I kinda expected this. And, the dude's been theoretically dead for 44 years. He really needed to tap some. I know that I would...
ReplyDeleteHA!! Well sure, if I were Deadman/Aliveman I'd sure be looking for some lovin' after being dead for 44 years! As for Dove, you'd think she'd be looking for somebody a bit less rusty in their technique! :P
ReplyDelete