It's Saturday, which means it it's time for me to give my uninformed, overly sarcastic and at times offensive opinions on comic books and their creators, that's right, it's time for a new installment of The Best of the Rest! A quick word to the wise, if you have no sense of humor, or are easily offended by the opinions of other people, you should probably skip this post... Still here? Good! I fully intend on doing pseudo-reviews for four comics tonight, although I may do more then four. What do I know, I'm typing up this intro before I start the reviews, so who knows, maybe I'll be SO bored today I'll end up with a humongous BotR... Or maybe not. What can I say, I'm a man of intrigue and mystery! Um, I guess I might as well get started...
Brightest Day #2: Ugh, what a way to start... I'm tempted to just say, “A whole bunch of unrelated stuff happened and then this comic ended”, but I'll put a little(a VERY little)bit more effort into things... Firestorm explodes for some reason, and of course the Atom was present, because little GEOFFY would have cried if one of his favorites didn't appear in this comic right off the bat... A White Martian(or at least what I THINK was a White Martian...)bitches about the Martian Manhunter being alive again, and the Hawks continue to be uninteresting. The Martian Manhunter messes with an old woman's head because he can, and Deadman continues to be yanked around by his White ring, because that hasn't gotten REALLY old by now. And for whatever reason, this issue ends with Deadman being confronted by the Anti-Monitor. To it all, I say a very hearty, WHATEVER! All I want is a cohesive storyline, not a bunch of(for the most part)uninteresting dangling plot threads. On the plus side though, SAINT Barry didn't show up, so at least there's that... Score: 6 out of 10.But where's SAINT Barry!?!
Age of Heroes #1: I guess I really felt like wasting $4 last time I placed a comic order, because I'm not sure why else I'd have brought this comic. We have four stories in this comic, one starring he of the Hitler mustache, J. Jonah Jameson, a story on the love-life of Doctor Brother Voodoo(worst name EVER!), a little snippet(yes, a snippet!)where Capt. Rogers tries to steal Capt. Britain from the MI:13, and a one page Spider-Man story... That's right, a ONE page Spider-Man story! How weird is that?! Did Marvel put together this comic and realize they had a floating page, and decide to toss in a ONE page Spidey story?! Weird... Each story seemed to be worse then the one before it, with the Jameson story being the strongest one of the bunch... I do have to say though, I just can't buy Jameson as the Mayor of NYC... The guy has a Hitler mustache for crying out loud!!! What self-respecting New Yorker could possibly pull the voting lever for a guy who's wearing Hitler's mustache!?! Sure Rudy had that awful comb over, but still! I don't know, maybe it's just me... Score: 5 out of 10.Who knew one day Hitler would be elected mayor of NYC!
The Return of Bruce Wayne #2: Oh man, it just keeps getting worse! I must have really displeased the Comic Gods today, 'cause they're tossing a bunch of really bad comics my way! I'm not even going to try to do any kind of proper review for this comic, because I honestly don't think I'd be able to... I'm just going to hit on the main points(or the main points that I could understand...)and then complain about this series, Grant Morrison and DC until I get bored and feel like moving on. So Bruce Wayne is slowly traveling back to the 21st century because Darkseid infected him with some sort of catastrophic doomsday weapon(sort of like a REAL bad STD)that's going to kill EVERYBODY if Bruce returns to the present, I guess because Darkseid knew he'd lose in the end... Huh, so among all of Darkseid's other faults, I guess he has some very low self-esteem. Annnd that's about all I got out of this comic... Yeah, it was THAT bad... Let's just pretend this comic never happened and move on... Score: 1 1/2 out of 10. Why a 1 1/2? I don't know, why not. I don't think I've ever given out a 1 1/2 before, so at least I can check that off my list of blog accomplishments.I once had a nightmare that looked and sounded like this... I woke up crying, and slept with the lights on for a month...
Gotham City Sirens #12: Man, sometimes it's really tough to do this job... I mean just look at the last three pseudo-reviews! Those were some BRUTAL comics! If things don't pick up here, I quit! Okay, with that empty threat out of the way, let's see what's up with GCS this month. Catwoman has suddenly decided to find her crazy sister(better late then never, right?), and has attacked a priest to steal some files about her sister... You know, it's ONE thing to steal from a church, but it's another to attack a priest while doing it. That's probably not the smartest of moves... Anywho, Catwoman finds the file she was looking for, and is joined by Harley Quinn, who is just sort of there for some reason... I guess she was bored or something. Meanwhile, Poison Ivy breaks out of the plant deathtrap she was snared in last issue and decides to give the woman who was going to kill her a job, because... well, I really don't know why. Maybe Ivy's brain-damaged after being stuck in the big plant dehydrator thing. Selina's crazy sister attacks and kills an exorcist and takes all of the dead exorcist's weapons so she can exorcise Catwoman. While going through the dead exorcist woman' stuff, she gets possessed by a crazy angel, and the two decide to do crazy things like hunt Catwoman down. So Catwoman's crazy sister(now possessed by a crazy angel)sets up a meeting with Catwoman at a crazy cemetery(what? I've got a theme going on here!), which leads to Catwoman's crazy sister hitting Harley Quinn in her crazy head, ending this crazy issue. Hmm, I think I may have gone a tad overboard with the word “crazy” here... Oh well, what's done is done! Score: 9 out of 10.What's scarier then a nun with a sword? A FLYING nun with a sword!!!
RED ROBIN #13!: Yes, obviously from the fully capitalized title, I'm pretty excited to FINALLY be able to read an issue of Red Robin. Since the first 12 issues were written by a writer who is SO terrible I won't even bother typing his name(yeah, I REALLY don't like him), I refused to read 'em. Now that Fabian Nicieza has taken up the writing chores, Red Robin is finally on my monthly pull list. Huzzah! Needless to say, this was a set-up issue, and since this isn't a real review, and is instead only a PSEUDO-review, I'm not going to bother getting too in-depth with stuff here. Basically Tim is working out of Gotham and living with Dick, Alfred and the tyke from hell, Damian. Tim decides to take down the head of the Golden Dragons gang, Lynx, and does just that, although Lynx claims to be an undercover cop from Hong Kong after Tim busts her. Oops! Tim hands her over to the fuzz regardless, but is a bit conflicted about whether or not he did the right thing. Huh, Tim was giving off a really strong Spider-Man vibe here... DC would be really smart to play that up, but I'm sure they won't... Score: 8 out of 10.I figured posting a pic of Tim Drake in the shower would get me more followers. Sure they'll all be women or gay men, but beggers can't be choosers! And so a hearty welcome to my new followers!!! :P
Green Blogger Corps #1: Before you check out this review, you should DEFINITELY read the first issue of the GBC here. Why not read it, it's free!!! Okay, now to the review... This was one of the better first issues I've read in quite some time! We get to meet the main characters AND get a pretty sweet battle scene. If only certain OTHER writers knew how to put a comic together like this... *coughMORRISONReturnofBruceWaynecough* Anywho, we meet JT Jordon of the Green Blogger Corps, as well as several of his fellow GBC members, including the intelligent Falisha Ferris, the gruff Nagash Gardner, the artistic Marc Rayner, and the gruff Kellowog... Wait, I already used “gruff” didn't I... Um, and the surly Kellowog(there, that's better!). Sure, all of these characters were great in their own way, but none of them compared to the AWESOME Sinestr-X. Sinestr-X WAS the star of this comic for me, hands down. Every scene he was in was pure magic, and when he wasn't around, I found myself wondering(oftentimes aloud), “Where's Sinestr-X?!?” He was THAT good! I'm definitely looking forward to the next issue of this series, and as long as Sinestr-X is tearing stuff up, I know I'll be happy! :D Score: 10! out of 10.But where's Sinestr-X?!?