Saturday, June 12, 2010

The Best of the Rest!!! June 12th edition.

It's Saturday, which means it it's time for me to give my uninformed, overly sarcastic and at times offensive opinions on comic books and their creators, that's right, it's time for a new installment of The Best of the Rest! A quick word to the wise, if you have no sense of humor, or are easily offended by the opinions of other people, you should probably skip this post... Still here? Good! I fully intend on doing pseudo-reviews for four comics tonight, although I may do more then four. What do I know, I'm typing up this intro before I start the reviews, so who knows, maybe I'll be SO bored today I'll end up with a humongous BotR... Or maybe not. What can I say, I'm a man of intrigue and mystery! Um, I guess I might as well get started...

Brightest Day #2: Ugh, what a way to start... I'm tempted to just say, “A whole bunch of unrelated stuff happened and then this comic ended”, but I'll put a little(a VERY little)bit more effort into things... Firestorm explodes for some reason, and of course the Atom was present, because little GEOFFY would have cried if one of his favorites didn't appear in this comic right off the bat... A White Martian(or at least what I THINK was a White Martian...)bitches about the Martian Manhunter being alive again, and the Hawks continue to be uninteresting. The Martian Manhunter messes with an old woman's head because he can, and Deadman continues to be yanked around by his White ring, because that hasn't gotten REALLY old by now. And for whatever reason, this issue ends with Deadman being confronted by the Anti-Monitor. To it all, I say a very hearty, WHATEVER! All I want is a cohesive storyline, not a bunch of(for the most part)uninteresting dangling plot threads. On the plus side though, SAINT Barry didn't show up, so at least there's that... Score: 6 out of 10.But where's SAINT Barry!?!

Age of Heroes #1: I guess I really felt like wasting $4 last time I placed a comic order, because I'm not sure why else I'd have brought this comic. We have four stories in this comic, one starring he of the Hitler mustache, J. Jonah Jameson, a story on the love-life of Doctor Brother Voodoo(worst name EVER!), a little snippet(yes, a snippet!)where Capt. Rogers tries to steal Capt. Britain from the MI:13, and a one page Spider-Man story... That's right, a ONE page Spider-Man story! How weird is that?! Did Marvel put together this comic and realize they had a floating page, and decide to toss in a ONE page Spidey story?! Weird... Each story seemed to be worse then the one before it, with the Jameson story being the strongest one of the bunch... I do have to say though, I just can't buy Jameson as the Mayor of NYC... The guy has a Hitler mustache for crying out loud!!! What self-respecting New Yorker could possibly pull the voting lever for a guy who's wearing Hitler's mustache!?! Sure Rudy had that awful comb over, but still! I don't know, maybe it's just me... Score: 5 out of 10.Who knew one day Hitler would be elected mayor of NYC!

The Return of Bruce Wayne #2: Oh man, it just keeps getting worse! I must have really displeased the Comic Gods today, 'cause they're tossing a bunch of really bad comics my way! I'm not even going to try to do any kind of proper review for this comic, because I honestly don't think I'd be able to... I'm just going to hit on the main points(or the main points that I could understand...)and then complain about this series, Grant Morrison and DC until I get bored and feel like moving on. So Bruce Wayne is slowly traveling back to the 21st century because Darkseid infected him with some sort of catastrophic doomsday weapon(sort of like a REAL bad STD)that's going to kill EVERYBODY if Bruce returns to the present, I guess because Darkseid knew he'd lose in the end... Huh, so among all of Darkseid's other faults, I guess he has some very low self-esteem. Annnd that's about all I got out of this comic... Yeah, it was THAT bad... Let's just pretend this comic never happened and move on... Score: 1 1/2 out of 10. Why a 1 1/2? I don't know, why not. I don't think I've ever given out a 1 1/2 before, so at least I can check that off my list of blog accomplishments.I once had a nightmare that looked and sounded like this... I woke up crying, and slept with the lights on for a month...

Gotham City Sirens #12: Man, sometimes it's really tough to do this job... I mean just look at the last three pseudo-reviews! Those were some BRUTAL comics! If things don't pick up here, I quit! Okay, with that empty threat out of the way, let's see what's up with GCS this month. Catwoman has suddenly decided to find her crazy sister(better late then never, right?), and has attacked a priest to steal some files about her sister... You know, it's ONE thing to steal from a church, but it's another to attack a priest while doing it. That's probably not the smartest of moves... Anywho, Catwoman finds the file she was looking for, and is joined by Harley Quinn, who is just sort of there for some reason... I guess she was bored or something. Meanwhile, Poison Ivy breaks out of the plant deathtrap she was snared in last issue and decides to give the woman who was going to kill her a job, because... well, I really don't know why. Maybe Ivy's brain-damaged after being stuck in the big plant dehydrator thing. Selina's crazy sister attacks and kills an exorcist and takes all of the dead exorcist's weapons so she can exorcise Catwoman. While going through the dead exorcist woman' stuff, she gets possessed by a crazy angel, and the two decide to do crazy things like hunt Catwoman down. So Catwoman's crazy sister(now possessed by a crazy angel)sets up a meeting with Catwoman at a crazy cemetery(what? I've got a theme going on here!), which leads to Catwoman's crazy sister hitting Harley Quinn in her crazy head, ending this crazy issue. Hmm, I think I may have gone a tad overboard with the word “crazy” here... Oh well, what's done is done! Score: 9 out of 10.What's scarier then a nun with a sword? A FLYING nun with a sword!!!

RED ROBIN #13!: Yes, obviously from the fully capitalized title, I'm pretty excited to FINALLY be able to read an issue of Red Robin. Since the first 12 issues were written by a writer who is SO terrible I won't even bother typing his name(yeah, I REALLY don't like him), I refused to read 'em. Now that Fabian Nicieza has taken up the writing chores, Red Robin is finally on my monthly pull list. Huzzah! Needless to say, this was a set-up issue, and since this isn't a real review, and is instead only a PSEUDO-review, I'm not going to bother getting too in-depth with stuff here. Basically Tim is working out of Gotham and living with Dick, Alfred and the tyke from hell, Damian. Tim decides to take down the head of the Golden Dragons gang, Lynx, and does just that, although Lynx claims to be an undercover cop from Hong Kong after Tim busts her. Oops! Tim hands her over to the fuzz regardless, but is a bit conflicted about whether or not he did the right thing. Huh, Tim was giving off a really strong Spider-Man vibe here... DC would be really smart to play that up, but I'm sure they won't... Score: 8 out of 10.I figured posting a pic of Tim Drake in the shower would get me more followers. Sure they'll all be women or gay men, but beggers can't be choosers! And so a hearty welcome to my new followers!!! :P

Green Blogger Corps #1: Before you check out this review, you should DEFINITELY read the first issue of the GBC here. Why not read it, it's free!!! Okay, now to the review... This was one of the better first issues I've read in quite some time! We get to meet the main characters AND get a pretty sweet battle scene. If only certain OTHER writers knew how to put a comic together like this... *coughMORRISONReturnofBruceWaynecough* Anywho, we meet JT Jordon of the Green Blogger Corps, as well as several of his fellow GBC members, including the intelligent Falisha Ferris, the gruff Nagash Gardner, the artistic Marc Rayner, and the gruff Kellowog... Wait, I already used “gruff” didn't I... Um, and the surly Kellowog(there, that's better!). Sure, all of these characters were great in their own way, but none of them compared to the AWESOME Sinestr-X. Sinestr-X WAS the star of this comic for me, hands down. Every scene he was in was pure magic, and when he wasn't around, I found myself wondering(oftentimes aloud), “Where's Sinestr-X?!?” He was THAT good! I'm definitely looking forward to the next issue of this series, and as long as Sinestr-X is tearing stuff up, I know I'll be happy! :D Score: 10! out of 10.But where's Sinestr-X?!?


  1. I agree with you about Bruce Wayne Returns. I'm a big fan of Bruce Wayne, so I really wanted this to be good, but I struggled to get through this comic. I think Morrison is trying to make Batman more Sci-Fi than he is. Like the Dragon...squid thing.

  2. Lmmfao....Where's Sinestr-X?! I love how he appears near the end...and is in every subsequent scene and you STILL thought, where's Sinestr-X?! Before veing introduced to him. Thanks for the kind words, I'll tell Jeff Geons what ya said... maybe HE can write Bruce Wayne.

    That aside I loved Sirens and Red Robin much like you, especially the scene with Damien, Dick and Tim all out together, that was pretty sweet. I'm looking forward to those issues next month (this month?) whenever they are. Your blog messes up my perception of time.

  3. So it seems to be unanimous, NOBODY liked Return of Bruce Wayne #2! And I've got to say, I agree with you again Jozeph, let Superman deal with the sci-fi stuff, and let Batman deal with the crazies and street criminals.

    Whenever I didn't see the name "Sinestr-X", my mind would automatically begin to wonder where he was. I can't help it JT! You... ahem, I mean Jeoff created one hell of a magnificent character there... I bet he's a real handsome bastard too! :P

    I liked Fabian's portrayal of Damian actually. He was JUST annoying enough without becoming irritating. And yes, ONE of my evil master plans(I have a lot of evil master plans actually)involved me destroying all perception of time, so mission accomplished ! :-)

  4. I'm sure Jeoff is a handsome bastard :P See what I did there? Bwahahaha

    Agreed, Fabian's Damian reminds me of Bryan Miller's Damian, I'd love a crossover with those two and Batgirl and Red Robin again. And damn you and your evil plans! You're just like Sinestr-X!

  5. HA!! Nicely done JT... But I'd still have to give the nod to Sinestr-X!

    Yeah, totally agreed. And I guess the thing with me and Sinestr-X is a case or art imitating life, or some such nonsense... :P

  6. Great call on that Return of Bruce Wayne page...that's the one that made me shut the book, and I haven't opened it since!

  7. HA! I'm a real trooper I guess! I know JT didn't finish Return #2, and it sounds like you didn't make it all the way through that comic either Marc.

  8. Haha, man that comic was bad... apparently people have been saying Rise of Arsenal 3 is one of the worse comics... ever, which I loved, so I'd like to nominate Return of Bruce Wayne #2 in it's place...

  9. *rolls in after the massive comments*

    Heeey X!! Lol, so I know I've been absent of the commenting but I'm here now.

    Now, on to what I have to say.

    Great "BOTR" lol, I love seeing you bash terrible comics and praise the good ones. Because as we can see from your commentators, Return of B. Wayne is just total trash, you can't even revive that comic by recycling it. Someone needs to go to the bottom of the ocean dig a hole and bury that comic. Lol. I couldn't even get through the first issue.

    Oh I won't even get on Brightest day, lol, i'll leave that be.

    I'm loving GCS, Selena on a search for her sister is just going to make this comic the next couple issues.

    And that is all for my ranting. :) Good day sir!! :D

  10. Oh crap almost forgot, GBC was wonderful, lol, pretty damn funny if I must say so. Definitely can't wait for the next issue. Lol, totally deserves a 10 out of 10!!

    Can't wait for Sinestr-X to make a scene. :D

  11. Ahhhh-HA!!! You see JT, the unwashed masses agree with me regarding Rise of Arsenal #3! I'll take whatever moral victories I can get! :P You know, if I had to choose Return #2 or Arsenal #3 to read again, I think I'd probably pick Return #2... Sure I gave Return a lower score, and it didn't make any sort of sense, but at least it wasn't offensively bad like Arsenal #3...

    Thanks for the praise Falisha! I do loves me some praise! :P Hmm, I like your ocean idea... That's EXACTLY where Return #2 belongs! And yes, GBC #1 was indeed awesome. Probably the best thing I've read all month!

  12. Lmao I don't care WHAT you say, we both know Bruce Wayne's return is worse than Arsenal....ADMIT IT!!! (Peggy Hill)

    Aww you guys are gonna make me tear up... :)

  13. Aww you know I'll always give praise where it's due X. lol. Always.

    Quit the crying JT, that's for babies and punks!! :-P


  14. Sorry dude, I just can't do it! I hate the Arsenal mini THAT much... While Return may be nearly unreadable, at least it isn't completely destroying one of my favorite DC characters like Arsenal is, so no, I WON'T admit it! :P

    Damn, Falisha told YOU off JT!! :D

  15. You don't have to, I know what you're REALLY thinking, and you agree :P

    Both of you guys shut it!! :P

  16. Wait, *comes in late* You hate the Arsenal Mini? X, dude, you are now an enemy!!! Lol. I love it. Very emotional but I like it.

    And yes, yes I did tell him off. *kudos to me!* lol. He'll make me pay for it when I see him.

    I'll be calling out for Sinestr-X to rescue me! Lol.

  17. HA, I've heard of your love of the Arsenal mini Falisha! I have to say I'm VERY disappointed! :P

  18. Aww come on X, lol, don't be disappointed in me!!! And you know you liked it a little bit. :D

  19. Nah, I could never be disappointed in you Ms. Falisha! But I WAS def disappointed in that comic! :P

  20. Aww you're a total sweetheart. :D

    I liked the comic, I'm sure you've mentioned what you were disappointed about but I'm asking again lol, what disappointed you?

  21. Oh man, I could go on and on about it! First and foremost is the fact that Lian is dead, and not just dead, but walking around as a little mangled ghost/hallucination... That REEKS of such bad taste that just thinking about it is kind of pissing me off! But mainly, it's the way DC has thrown away YEARS of character development away for Roy... Roy was one of my favorite DC characters(and my favorite DC archer)because he was so complete and different then most other heroes(in DC AND Marvel). First off, he has no powers, he was able to beat a heroin addiction, he accidentally knocked up a super-villain, but was man enough to man-up and take care of the baby of that hook up. Besides Roy, I can't think of any other single fathers in any other comics... So they take Roy, who was one of the more original DC characters, and pretty much turn him into just another guy. So what, I guess when this is all said and done he'll be Ollie with a robot arm. Big deal. *Sigh* Sorry for the rant there Falisha, but DAMN does what happened to Roy really piss me off...

  22. Aww I almost feel bad for bringing it up lol. But I could see where you're coming from.

    I guess that's where I should definitely read up about a character. Kind of what I dislike about picking up one shots or mini's about certain characters.

    They just do whatever they want not recognizing the past of a character. And if they do, they just brush over it like it was nothing.

    Roy sounded like a damn good character just based on the little stuff you ranted about.

    :| Damn yous DC, damn yous!!!! lol

  23. I can totally understand how someone who isn't a fan of the Roy Harper character could enjoy the Arsenal mini, Falisha. But for me, especially since I'm SO familiar with the character, reading it is sort of like getting a root canal! You don't want to do it, but you know you have to! :P

  24. I can see where you're coming from. I've read some WW stuff they seemed sooo far fetched from a certain story line I was following and was just

    Like I didn't even read "Wonder Woman: The Hiketeia", JT did and the stuff he was describing was just so disappointing. Lol.

    SO I totally understand where you're coming from X.

  25. Yeah, the WW comparison is perfect. You know WW well enough to know when a writer is butchering her character, which is like me and what's happening with Roy.

    "Wonder Woman: The Hiketeia"? Do you remember what that was all about/what issues of WW thatw as from? I wonder if I've ever read that...

  26. EXACTLY!!!

    Well for starters it's by Greg Rucka *curses*, God can't stand that man.

    And since I Didn't read it, lol, I'll just copy and paste the plot for you via Wikipedia. Lol. I believe it was a one shot novel.

    Wonder Woman: The Hiketeia is a modern Greek tragedy of duty and vengeance. When Wonder Woman partakes in an ancient ritual called the Hiketeia, she is honor bound to eternally protect and care for a young woman named Danielle Wellys. But when the Amazon Princess learns that Danielle has killed the drug dealers who murdered her sister, she suddenly finds herself in battle with Batman, who is searching for the female fugitive. Caught in a no-win situation, Wonder Woman must choose between breaking a sacred oath and turning her back on justice. In the climax, as Wonder Woman and Batman duel by the top of a cliff, Danielle finally decides to sacrifice herself and leaps. She dies in Wonder Woman's arms and tells her that she has released her of the Hiketeian ritual.

    JT said it was VERY disappointing. Especially the WW Bats fight.


    That is all. :D

  28. Oh yeah!!! JT mentioned this to me before! I must have blanked on the name though. Damn, reading so many comics lately seems to be affecting my ability to think clearly...

  29. Lmao, aww poor X. Got an everlasting collection of comics numbing his mind!!


  30. X needs a show like Ramsey. Hell's Comic Store! "You don't know the name of the first Question OR his successor?! Bollocks!!!" Then he kicks stuff and yells.

  31. "You don't know the name of the first Question OR his successor?! Bollocks!!!" Best quote EVER! And mainly because you put the word "bollocks" there! If you could have managed to fit the word "donkey" in there too, I'd have wrote songs praising your awesomeness!

  32. Lol there's always next time buddy haha. I love that Ramsay has so many quotes and phrases that you can just string together a Ramsay-esque quote.