New Mutants #3

Wow, I'm on a real comic book hot streak as of late. By my count, the last 12 comic reviews I've posted have scored an 8 or higher. That's really pretty impressive, especially in light of my finicky tastes. Yes, I'll admit that I have pretty high standards for the books I read, and why shouldn't I? With comic prices continuing to rise I expect great stories from every book I read, including this one. This most recent relaunch of the New Mutant franchise really hasn't been as good as I had hoped. We were given the huge surprise in issue 1(Legion's return), but besides that, this comic really hasn't amounted to much. However I do expect this issue to be good. How can't it be, I'm on a hot streak! This comic is written by Zeb Wells.

-Well, you know what they say about all good things...

-Legion tracks Dani Moonstar down, finding her in a prison she was locked in. Legion is currently under the influence of Jack Wayne, who fancies himself a "man's man". Legion(who once went back in time and has displayed immense psionic abilities)is unable to figure out a way to get Dani out of the jail cell she's locked in(REALLY???)and Cannonball and Sunspot crash through the wall to make the save, knocking Legion out of the prison.

-Dani asks Cannonball to release her from the cell, but Sam figures that Dani is probably safer in the cell then out of it. Sam and Sunspot leave a furious Dani behind as they go after Legion.

-Legion's new persona is some woman who doesn't think anybody loves her. Legion somehow manages to bulk up ala the Incredible Hulk, and knocks Sunspot flying. Sam arrives and knocks Legion for a loop, dislodging his female persona.

-Next Legion is taken over by some guy who tries to bargain his way out of fighting Sam and Roberto. Sam turns him down flat and Legion attacks them with his tongue... Yes, Legion's now seems to have Toad's ultra long tongue... This is bad... This is REALLY bad... OK, let's try to finish this travesty...

-Sam punches Toad-Legion in the face and Legion switches personas again, this time becoming a coward who can control metal. Coward-Legion tells the two mutants that he doesn't really want to harm them, but that the other personas are forcing him to kill Dani. Sam and Roberto leave Legion(why the hell they just don't knock him out is beyond me!)and rush to aid Dani who is being attacked by the metal floor in her jail cell.

-Magma and Magik wind up saving Dani from the deadly menace of the jail cell floor, and Sam and Roberto arrive on the scene, relieved that Dani is alright. Dani knocks Sam on his ass for leaving her locked in the cell, before she storms away vowing to make herself useful.

-Magik decides she is going to face Legion in his own mind, which Sam says is suicide. However, Magik disregards Sam and teleports away because she is a BADASS!

-Sam seems lost(much like I am)before he decides they have to call in the X-Men to stop Legion, before Legion decides to go after Dani again. Before Sam, Roberto and Magma can make a move, Dani returns, packing a bunch of guns, stating that they need to take the fight to Legion...

-Oh my god, there's still more! Sam contacts Magik with his communicator and tells her not to enter Legion's mind, because if Legion dies while she's in his head, she'll die as well. Sam also tells Magik not to kill any of the personalities in Legion's mind because that could kill Legion. Magik enters Legion's mind anyway because she is a BADASS! and confronts Jack Wayne, demanding to be taken to Karma(who is stuck in Legion's mind somewhere). Jack mocks Magik, telling her she wouldn't dare attack him since killing him could possibly kill Legion and by extension Magik. Once again, Magik doesn't listen because she's a BADASS!, and she(mercifully!!!)ends this comic by beheading Jack, which will hopefully kill Legion, Magik and all the other characters in this comic book!

Wow, this was horrible... I'm humbled at just how terrible this comic was. So much for my hot streak! I don't even know where to begin here... Let's start with Legion. When the hell did he develop the ability to bulk up like the Hulk? For that matter, where the hell did he get a long, prehensile tongue from??? Am I wrong? Didn't Legion only have the abilities of pyrokinesis, telekinesis and telepathy, along with the ability to travel through time when his fractured psyche was finally fixed? I'm not crazy here, am I? Now Legion has different powers based on which personality is controlling him I guess... OOOOOOOOOK...

Besides Legion, the dialogue here was just terrible. In the first issue I remember complaining that Cannonball was speaking without his accent. To me, Sam's accent is as much a part of his character as his blast field or his large Southern family. In the second issue, Sam was speaking with his customary accent again. OK, great I figured, someone must have pointed out to Zeb that Sam does indeed speak with an accent. In this issue, Sam's accent was once again missing! What the hell!?! This might be nit-picking to some people, but let me ask, how would you like it if Wolverine suddenly began to speak like Dr. Doom? Well, I guess that would actually be pretty awesome. Let's try that again... What if the Thing began vocalizing like Mr. Fantastic? It would throw off the entire Fantastic Four comic! The Thing has his own distinctive method of speaking, as does Mr. Fantastic. So does Sam Guthrie!

Ugh, why bother even continuing? This comic book was awful on a nearly epic scale. For a score, I'll go with a 2 out of 10, one of my lowest scores EVER! I think I'll see this series through the current storyline and then I'll drop this book. Avoid this series like the Black Plague!!!