Quick Hits: Superboy #11, Zatanna #16, Batman #713 & Justice League of America #60

It's time for the second part of this weekend's Quick Hits-athon. This time around we're switching over to DC and taking a look at 4 final issues as DC moves closer and closer to what will either be their rebirth or their downfall. I've flip-flopped all summer long about what I thought about the whole DC reboot thing(I've gone from furious to okay about it), and I'm currently of the mindset that it's a slap in the face of long-time DC fans. I figure DC will pick up a few new readers in September, but that they might lose a few regular fans, and that most of the new readers won't stick around past that first issue, since that's the collector's piece. But I'm not going to get that into my final thoughts about the reboot since I still have about 10 days to change my mind 50 more times before The End. All I will say before I head to the reviews is this; remember Marvel's whole Heroes Reborn fiasco? Methinks Johns and Didio don't.

Superboy #11:

What Happened: Superboy manages to slip a magical trinket to the Phantom Stranger, allowing him to free himself from the magic of Tannarak. While the Stranger deals with Tannarak, SB and Krypto take care of Tannarak's goons, the Tooks, and break the computers Tannarak was using to control the Hollow Men, as well as the life support for the SB clones. Tannarak manages to escape, while Psion and the Stranger manage to reunite the citizens of Smallville with their souls/essences/minds. The Stranger heads off to see if he could pick up Tannarak's trail, while SB, Psion, Simon Valentine: Boy Genius(god am I gonna miss typing that...) and Lori Luthor head off, where everybody lives happily ever after... Well, everybody except for Jeff Lemire, who seemed to have LOTS more stories to tell.

Thoughts: Eh. This was what it was. A rushed final issue to a series that was obviously plotted to go a lot further than 11 issues. I actually feel bad for writers like Lemire(and James Robinson... Wait until I review JLA #60 later!) who seem to have all of these storylines that they'll never be able to finish up(the Psion/Simon Valentine: Boy Genius stuff, the reaction of the people from Psion's futuristic home, the ultimate fate of Simon Valentine: Boy Genius, etc). But hey, we've got to try to make Barry Allen hip and new for all the kids, so who cares about anything else?

Score: 6 out of 10.Good-bye, Superboy. And good luck on the other side... It looks like you're gonna need it...


Zatanna #16:

What Happened: After a few shows and a long flight home, Zatanna wants nothing more then to catch some sleep at her family home in Gotham. Unfortunately, the doorbell rings and she opens it to find Uriah from Limbo Town asking to be her apprentice(think Klarion, but evil). Z, wanting her sleep and being a bit wary of Uriah, says no, but by this point Uriah has gotten loose in her house. Not really thinking clearly due to the lack of sleep, Z chases him, but Uriah manages to break into her library and snatches a book on dimensional teleportation. Uriah begins trotting through dimensions, with Z following after him, trying to figure out a way to separate him from the book. Z finally manages to teleport the two of them to the dimension of Gargantuans, which distracts Uriah long enough for Z to get her book back and teleport the little troublemaker back to Limbo Town. With that, Z heads back to her bedroom and finally gets some sleep.

Thoughts: This was a good little one and done issue that gave Adam Beechen the opportunity to bring Uriah back one last time(Uriah first popped up in Robin, back when Beechen was the writer... I don't know why that stuck in my head...). The story made sense in that normally Z would have wiped the floor with a threat like Uriah, but since she was so sleep-deprived, she wasn't really thinking straight. I'll definitely miss reading this series, as it was usually a pretty good read(well, except for the puppet issues...). Oh well, here's hoping Z stays awesome in the upcoming Justice League Dark series.

Score: 8 out of 10.Zatanna lives one strange life...


Batman #713:

What Happened: It's time for one final Batman origin story!! Or at least the final origin story of this particular version of Batman. For the record, this issue is told by Robin(Damian Wayne) to some kids at a Wayne Foundation building. And don't worry, Damian isn't giving up names or identities or anything. We follow the first Batman(Bruce Wayne) and Robin(Dick Grayson) from back in the day until the present, where we now have Dick Grayson as Batman, and Damian as Robin. The story culminates with Bats(Dick) teaching Robin(Damian) a lesson about how their most important job ISN'T beating up villains, but is taking care of victims. After Damian gives his little life lesson to the kids, Dick meets up with him and the two head off to do the whole superhero thing.

Thoughts: This was another one and done final issue that I enjoyed reading. It's sad that we're losing the Dick and Damian Batman and Robin team, because it's probably the best thing to come out of Grant Morrison's Batman run. They really play off of each other well, and it's nice to see that deep down Damian does respect Dick, regardless of the things he occasionally says and does. Unless DC fundamentally changes Damian's character, I don't see how Bruce and Damian can ever come close to approaching the Dick/Damian pairing. Anyway, back to this issue. Like I said, I enjoyed it for what it was, a final look at Bruce and Dick and Dick and Damian's relationship. Here's hoping this isn't the final time we see this version of Damian, because if we wind up with a happy-go-lucky Damian to counter Bruce's darker demeanor, I'll be extremely upset.

Score: 8 out of 10.Dick: "You never take me seriously, blah, blah, blah..."
Bruce: "Hello, is somebody there? I don't HEAR anybody!"
That's got to be one of the best Batman reactions I've ever seen...


Justice League of America #60:

What Happened: We kick things off with the final meeting of this version of the Justice League. It seems that they all have personal dealings to attend to, and thus can't really make the whole team thing work anymore. The JLAers sit around the meeting table, discussing adventures that they had(adventures that we'll never see now) and the stuff that they did, before heading their own ways. This series ends with Batman(Dick Grayson) and Donna Troy having a great conversation before turning off the lights and leaving the Watchtower for the last time.

Thoughts: I've always groused about this version of the League. I hated the damned talking monkey... I wanted the OTHER Starman... I'd have preferred Superman to Supergirl... And so on. But man did James Robinson finally deliver in this, his last JLA comic. Reading through this issue, you couldn't help but get the sense that Robinson wasn't exactly overjoyed by the reboot. Honestly, if he was letdown/pissed, how could you blame him? If I spent a whole mess of years writing stories for DC and two guys decided to erase everything I wrote, I know I'd probably be a bit miffed. Maybe that's just me though and I'm looking too deeply into the dialogue here. In the end though, Robinson wrote a really good final story that left me a bit sad to see this version of the League go... Yes, even that damned talking monkey!

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.This is probably one of the better comic pages I've read in some time... So what do you think, is that James Robinson's voice coming out of Batman's mouth, or is it just me?

Quick Hits: Invincible Iron Man #507, Venom #6, Avengers #16 & Fear Itself: The Home Front #5

Hey there X-Maniacs. I bizarrely decided to pick up Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2 the other day, and I'll be damned if I'm not enjoying the hell out of it! When it first came out a few years back I was put off by the whole Civil War storyline(being an unrepentant Captain America mark and all), but after playing it I have to say, even with the Civil War junk surrounding it, it's not bad! I just finished the first playthrough today(I was anti-registration, naturally), and figure I'll start the second go-round tomorrow... Which is kinda/sorta a problem for the blog... See, if I spend my free time playing comic book based video games, I don't have that much time to read and review actual comic books... And that's why I'm going back to the old, lazy X standby, Quick Hits! I'll do 4 Marvel reviews tonight, 4 DC reviews tomorrow, and... something on Monday. I don't really know. Meh, I'll know when I get there. So there you have it. Now, on to the shoddy, half-assed “reviews”!

The Invincible Iron Man #507(Fear Itself tie-in):

What Happened: We're following two stories here, one dealing with Pepper Parks(as Rescue) running afoul one of the Hammer girls in Paris. I don't know which one. Hammer tells her armor-clad goons to attack Pepper, which causes the Serpent possessed Grey Gargoyle to wander over, squash one of Hammer's goons(causing the others to run away... HA!), and snatch Pepper and the Hammer girl. The other story deals with Tony Stark and those damned, drunken, treacherous dwarfs. One of the dwarfs betrays his fellow dwarfs(as well as Tony and Odin) by making a deal with one of the Serpent's henchmen. The dwarf gives the Serpent's henchman a piece of Tony's hair, and the Serpent's goon(after killing the dwarf), creates an evil, magical Tony golem, which promptly attacks half-drunk Tony.

Thoughts: Well, I've definitely read better issues of this series. This was the first Invincible Iron Man/Fear Itself tie-in that just didn't do it for me. The pacing seemed off, and Tony spent the whole issue hanging out with dwarfs... Seeing as that I've always hated dwarfs, that's a bit of a problem. Oh well, hopefully things will pick back up again next issue as we race towards the conclusion of Fear Itself.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.Yeah, that's not gonna work...


Venom #6(Spider-Island tie-in):

What Happened: The Jackal sends one of his mutated spider-creatures to break through the quarantine Mayor Jameson had put Manhattan under. Venom arrives on the scene and helps Gravity and Firestar take the creature down(glad to see those two are still hanging out after the cancellation of the Young Allies series). Venom brings the creature back to base, which is exactly what it wanted. It proceeds to break out of the tube it was placed in and runs amok, at least until Flash is able to re-bond with the Venom symbiote and take the creature down. The army now locks the creature in something more secure than a tube, and discover that the creature was actually Steve Rogers?!

Thoughts: This issue definitely deserved better than a Quick Hits review. It was really good! As usual. It seems that the Spider-books are really bringing the awesome these past couple of months. The story was really good, the art matched the strong story, the dialogue was solid, and the tie-in to Spider-Island wasn't huge, but was enough to justify the “Spider-Island” logo on this issue... Unlike about 70% of the Fear Itself tie-ins that have NOTHING to do with the main Fear story. The Steve Rogers reveal at the end was kind of strange, but I figure the Jackal managed to get a hold of Steve's DNA and made a creepy spider-clone, since that's what he does.

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.And Steve thought losing Bucky again was bad!


Avengers #16(Fear Itself tie-in):

What Happened: Steve Rogers(with Bucky's shield but not in Captain America garb), Sharon Carter, Maria Hill(who I hate) and Victoria Hand(who I simply dislike) head to a castle in Sweden on some intelligence stating that Sin was there... Even though we know Sin is either in Washington DC, New York City, or Dayton, Ohio... That last location still puzzles me, but whatever, the point is that Steve is apparently an idiot. Needless to say, Steve and the ladies walk into a trap and run afoul Master Man and the Exiles(the Red Skull version, not the reality hopping version). Before Steve and his women can fully defeat the Nazis, Daisy Johnson(really?!?) arrives on the scene and topples the castle. Steve is pissed that Sin hadn't been there, but come on, he should have known better!

Thoughts: My thoughts on this comic can be summed up in one word... Meh. This comic wasn't actively horrible or anything, it just wasn't necessary. Seriously, how could Steve POSSIBLY think Sin was in Sweden? Did he think that she attacked DC, headed to NYC(after a quick pit stop in Dayton), and then figured, “What the hey, I'm gonna cool my heels in my castle in Sweden for a bit, and then I'll head back to NYC to continue with the whole, 'spreading fear!!' thing.” The logic here was a bit wonky, which I can forgive if the story was a) really good, or b) furthered something. This comic didn't accomplish either of those. The story was mediocre, and Steve is sad over Bucky's death. We get that. The sooner Bendis gets away from the Fear Itself tie-ins the better, because this series was WAY better before the crossovers began.

Score: 6 out of 10.This is the best dialogued page Bendis has EVER done!!


Fear Itself: The Home Front #5(of 7):

What Happened: Great. THIS comic... Last issue St. John's, Newfoundland was buried under waves of water by Attuma after Attuma defeated Speedball. This issue the people of St. John's help each other out, which is inspiring to Speedball. He decides to take a video of the people to show the world that even after being drowned, those hearty Canadians weren't afraid(yes, really!). Speedball sends the video back to Miriam Sharpe in Stanford, Connecticut, who posts it online to show that there were people who WEREN'T scared of the Serpent. The Sisters of Sin see the video and decide to teach Miriam fear or something. The second story included Amadeus Cho, who I hate more than any other comic book character NOT named Barry Allen, which says a lot! As such, I didn't read it. The third story dealt with Mr. Fear who seemed bummed that he wasn't the one spreading fear, while the last story starred some guy named American Eagle...

Thoughts: This was about as bad a comic as I've read all month. Usually the first story, the Speedball one, carries this comic for me, while the other three stories range from lackluster to god-awful. The problem here was that the Speedball story was really bad. Since the first story started me off on the wrong foot, and the second story had Amadeus Cho in it, this comic was sunk for me. I just couldn't get into the Speedball story at all. What the hell was the point of Robbie staying in St. John's to play cameraman? If the people were taking care of themselves(plus Jocasta was there helping too), shouldn't he be elsewhere, doing something useful?! Robbie bravely standing up to Juggernaut or battling Attuma was what I enjoyed about the first four issues of this mini. This issue? I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it was only a one issue aberration, but I don't think it's going to get any better with the next issue probably giving us the epic showdown the world has been clamoring to see, the Sisters of Sin vs Miriam Sharpe...

Score: 1 1/2 out of 10.Help the drowning people or videotape them... Hmm, if I was a hero, I know which move I'D make...

Captain America #2 & Daredevil #2

I have two number two issues to review in this post... If by chance I gave a 2 as the score for one of these two comics, this would be Two-Face's favorite post ever!

Captain America #2:

Summary: Alright flashback time! Back during WWII, some kid named Jimmy Jupiter had the ability to warp reality and touch people through their dreams. Jimmy was assisting the allies against the Nazis by teleporting allied forces into Nazi bases. One of the allies, Bravo, was in the dimension Jimmy used to move people around when Jimmy gets bashed in the head by a Nazi spy. Dum Dum Dugan was supposed to be watching over Jimmy, and winds up killing the Nazi, but honestly, if YOU had a kid who could warp reality working for you, would you really have a dude named “Dum Dum” watching over this awesome weapon? Anyway, Jimmy lapses into a coma, and Bravo, along with several Hydra agents, gets trapped in Jimmy's alternate reality fantasy land. Back in the present, Captain America(yes, Steve Rogers...), Nick Fury and Sharon Carter attack a Hydra base they thought was associated with Bravo. Cap walks through the Hydra defenses, but is too late to stop the leader of this sect, some random woman who the Hydra goofs were treating as royalty. Having partially succeeded with that mission(they didn't find Bravo, but they DID bust a few Hydra goons!), Cap and Sharon head to a hotel room and go to sleep. Sharon in met in her dreams by Bravo, who flirts her up before kissing her. Sharon wakes up rather disturbed by all of that, and is about to tell Cap what happened when the Ameridroid busts through the wall and attacks Cap.

Thoughts: I rarely say this about anything written by Ed Brubaker, especially a Captain America comic, but here it is... Meh. This was a very sub-par comic for me, as the lack of ANY mention of Bucky is actively beginning to piss me off now... Yes, I get it, Fear Itself is still going on so we really can't mention anything that went on during that event in this Cap series, but not mentioning Bucky makes for a very awkward read here... Bucky was Captain America in the last Captain America solo series, then suddenly we get a new Captain America solo series starring Steve Rogers with NO mention of Bucky or why Steve took up the shield again! Add the fact that Jimmy Jupiter was brained by a typewriter and brain damaged because of that, and Bravo not being a very interesting foe, I've got to say, I'm surprisingly disappointed with this series thus far. I was expecting the kind of awesome that was last time Brubaker started a Captain America series, and instead I'm getting the mediocrity that was the start of Brubaker's Secret Avengers run...

Score: 6 out of 10.I wonder if Hydra agents ever wake up and actually think that maybe this is the day they'll defeat Captain America...


Daredevil #2:

Summary: This issue gets started with Captain America(yes, Steve Rogers...) trying to arrest Daredevil for DD's role in the Shadowland mess. After a pretty awesome fight(those two always have pretty awesome fights though), DD tells Cap that he had been mind controlled by an evil demon(a likely excuse!), and that in a way, he wasn't any different than Bucky being mind controlled by the Soviets(damn that DD and his lawyer talk!!). Upon hearing that comparison, Cap decides to give DD the benefit of the doubt and allows him to go. From there, DD continues researching the Jobrani case, and after some digging learns that several lawyers had been scared off the case by threatening phone calls. It seems that Jobrani would have EASILY won his case if he had a competent lawyer, and DD learns that Jobrani had been planning on buying back his family's electronics store had he won his case. Figuring that somebody was actively trying to prevent Jobrani from regaining his family's store, DD heads there to investigate and immediately notices weird noises coming from the basement. DD enters the basement and finds a bunch of semi-constructed Klaw drones building something. Unfortunately for DD, Klaw is a being of pure sound, so his senses have difficulty pinning down exactly what he was surrounded by. DD goes to touch one of the Klaw drones, which winds up creating a loud feedback loop that causes DD to pass out. Upon waking up, DD finds himself strapped inside a device that was shaped like Klaw while the Klaw drones continued to rebuild Klaw around the trapped and disoriented hero.

Thoughts: Now this comic was more like it! The DD/Cap battle was great, as their battles usually are. And yes, those two have fought before. More than once if memory serves me correctly... And if I'm really remembering things correctly tonight, Cap has beaten DD every time! DD using his brains to deal with Cap was great, because like I said, I can't remember DD ever beating Cap, so trying to talk some sense into him was almost definitely the way to go. And the DD/Beast-Bucky/Winter Soldier comparison was the perfect way to get Cap to leave Matt alone. Klaw being the villain in this first arc of the new DD series was surprising to say the least, but I'm actually fine with that. I can't recall DD facing off against Klaw before, and with Klaw's sound based powers, he's almost the perfect opponent for DD. I've always been a fan of villains of specific characters(Klaw usually battles the FF or Black Panther) battling heroes they don't have much of a history with. It usually makes for good reading, and with Mark Waid doing the writing here, I'm sure the eventual Klaw-DD battle should be great.

Score: 8 out of 10.That bottom panel with Cap is about 12 different shades of awesome.

Avengers Academy #18 & Journey Into Mystery #626

Two Fear Itself tie-in comics to get through tonight, with both of these series usually being really good. Here's hoping that trend continues here.

Avengers Academy #18(Fear Itself tie-in):

Summary: The Avengers Academy kids are trapped in Infinite Avengers Mansion with the Serpent possessed Titania and Absorbing Man, with no way out due to the Serpent possessed duo destroying the teleportational matrix. Titania and Absorbing Man split up to torment the kids and Titania comes across Mettle, Hazmat and Veil. Titania makes quick work of Mettle, throwing her hammer at him, sending him through the walls of the Mansion and out into the void surrounding the Mansion. Hazmat's blasts prove to be ineffective, so Veil tries to seep into Titania's body in her ghost form to possess Titania like Veil was able to possess Korvac a few issues back. Veil goes for it, but is driven out by all of the horrendous images in Titania's head. With Mettle gone and Veil defeated, Hazmat does what I would have done from the start, runs like hell! Meanwhile, Absorbing Man is busy beating the hell out of Reptil, leaving him close to dead. Striker and Finesse are watching Reptil get taken down in the communication room when Hazmat comes running in. Realizing they were WOEFULLY outmatched, Striker suggests that since the Avengers Academy kids had the potential to become big-time super-villains(it's true, read the earlier issues of this series to learn more!), they start acting the part... Back with Titania and Absorbing Man, they've hung Veil and Reptil on a statue of Thor(HA!) while discussing further ways to terrorize the other Academy kids. While the two are making out/thinking, Hazmat walks over and proposes an alliance with the two villains, since the Avengers hadn't been able to help her gain control of her powers, and as such she had no real allegiance to the team. The two villains are intrigued by this turn of events, and discuss taking Hazmat up on her offer, which gives Striker and Finesse the opportunity to sneak over and carry Reptil and Veil away. The two villains realize what was transpiring too late and Hazmat detonates herself in a violent explosion, burying the villains under some rubble, allowing Striker and Finesse to get Reptil and Veil into the medical lab. From there, Hazmat manages to bring Mettle back inside and Finesse takes him into the medical lab while Striker and Hazmat lead Titania and Absorbing Man on a merry little chase. The two kids split up and are chased by the two villains, eventually leading each villain to a holographic image of Giant Man. The villains throw their hammers at the Giant Man images, but realize too late that they had been tricked as Absorbing Man's hammer goes slamming into Titania and vice-versa. The force of the hammers sends the two villains out of the Mansion, buying the Hazmat and Striker the time to return to the medical lab where Finesse was waiting with some news. Since the teleportational system was down, Finesse has decided to use Pym particles to have the six Academy kids in the room grow out of the dimension Infinite Avengers Mansion is located in. Unfortunately, activating the Pym particle machinery has alerted Absorbing Man and Titania of the machine's location, at which point the Absorbing Man begins to absorb the machine's abilities, which leads to the Absorbing Man causing the entire Infinite Avengers Mansion to grow. Why is this a problem you ask? Because if the entire massive Infinite Avengers Mansion was to grow large enough, it would probably level a city and kill millions upon appearing on Earth.

Thoughts: There's really only one thing I have to say about this comic. As of right now, August 19th, 2011, it is my favorite comic book series. I don't say that lightly either. I have over over 50 comic books on my monthly pull list(let that number set in for a moment...), and after looking at my list of comics, THIS is the series that brings me the most enjoyment with each issue. Now, I'm a very fickle person. In two week's time I may be talking about how some other series is my favorite. But right now, at this moment, after reading like 8 new comics this week so far, there's no hesitation in my voice when I call Avengers Academy my favorite monthly comic. The bottom line is this. This series is only $2.99. If you're reading my words and haven't read this series yet, give it a shot. You don't even have to know much about the Avengers or their history. Most of the main characters here are characters who were created for this series, so there's not that much history to catch up on. There's really nothing else for me to say.

Score: 9 1/2 out of 10.I ALWAYS propose treachery!!


Journey Into Mystery #626(Fear Itself tie-in):

Summary: We get started with Kid Loki and the Hel-Wolf heading to Limbo. Upon arriving, Loki is unimpressed by his surroundings, while the Hel-Wolf reminds Loki that he swore to serve Loki as long as the Hel-Wolf lived, and that after the Hel-Wolf's trip to Mephisto's Hell, the Hel-Wolf had, technically, died... With that, the Hel-Wolf charges after Loki to eat him for all of the humiliation Loki had put the Hel-Wolf through. Unfortunately for the Hel-Wolf, it draws the attention of the being Loki wanted to meet in Limbo, Surtur... Needless to say, that's the end of the Hel-Wolf, as Surtur literally picks the Wolf up and eats it... Huh. Loki approaches Surtur, and offers to assist Surtur in escaping Limbo, at which point Surtur could attack Asgard to his heart's content. Surtur is a bit suspicious of Loki's words, and Loki reveals that he needed a piece of Surtur's Twilight Sword, and in return he'd free Surtur into Asgard to reap his bloody revenge. Loki swears an oath that he wouldn't break his promise to Surtur, so Surtur gives Loki a small piece of his massive blade and Loki returns to Asgard with it. From there, Loki meets with and concocts a plan with an unknown Asgardian, before stealing the Destroyer armor and heading to Earth to meet with his allies in order to enact his plan to destroy the Serpent's dark version of Asgard.

Thoughts: I've got to say, while there are times when this series leaves me a bit perplexed, overall it's a blast to read. I've really grown to love the Kid Loki character. Doug Braithwaite's wonderful art really helps this series too, as his art just perfectly fits the feel of this series. My regular readers know I normally could care less about the art in a comic, but in this case, Braithwaite's art actually makes reading this series better! Let's see, I was a bit sad to see the Hel-Wolf go, as I really enjoyed it's banter with Loki. The deal Loki made with Surtur is obviously going to favor Loki, which will probably lead to Surtur wanting revenge on Loki at some later date, but with the Earth in such dire straits due to the Serpent's attack, Surtur is currently the lesser of the two evils. Now I was a bit confused by who Loki tricked into taking control of the Destroyer armor... I'm not exactly a huge Thor historian(I only just started reading Thor seriously earlier this year), so I may very well be wrong here, but I thought that the Destroyer armor had to be inhabited by the spirit of another in order for it to work. If that's the case, I'm very curious to see which Asgardian Loki convinced to bond with the armor, undoubtedly earning the ire of Odin in the process. Overall? I enjoyed this issue a lot, and hope that Loki and this creative team stick with this series for a good long time.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.Super-villains sure do love giving soliloquies ...

Ultimate Fallout #6 & X-Men: Schism #3

First up for this week, the final issue of the Ultimate Fallout mini-series, which is reshaping the Ultimate Marvel Universe(take THAT, DC!) and the middle issue of the X-Men: Schism event. The first issue of Schism was quite good, the second was a step down(in my opinion at least), here's hoping business picks back up again with this issue.

Ultimate Fallout #6(of 6):

Summary: Three stories here, the first is written by Brian Bendis and stars Aunt May and Gwen Stacy, the second is by Nick Spencer and stars Shadowcat(BOO!), Iceman(YAY!) and the Human Torch(YAY!), while the last story is by Jonathan Hickman and stars Nick Fury. We get started with Gwen(who has radically changed her look since she didn't want people to know who she was anymore) and Aunt May realizing that they were practically hostages in their own home thanks to the media being camped outside May's home. Gwen talks about getting away from the reporters and May mentions that Tony Stark offered to relocate May and Gwen anywhere on the planet. Gwen practically begs May to take Tony up on his offer, and after some prodding May calls Tony, who gives his private villa on the French Riviera to May and Gwen(Gwen wanted to move to France for some reason). With that, Tony sends his private helicopter and picks the two women up as they leave Queens and all of the bad memories behind. Next up, Shadowcat takes Iceman and Human Torch to the one place she's pretty sure will be safe for them, the abandoned Morlock tunnels. Finally, Nick Fury reveals that Steve Rogers had quit being Captain America, probably due to Cap's guilt over Spider-Man's death. From that headache, Fury heads to Mary Jane's house and finds her finishing up her article on how the world killed Spider-Man. Fury reads the article and seems legitimately hurt by MJ's words. Fury explains to MJ that he had known Peter Parker since he had been a baby(Peter's parents were working on a project for SHIELD), and that he should have done more to keep Peter safe and make sure he grew up into the man he COULD have become. Hearing the pain in Fury's voice, MJ promises not to send her article out to the media, and this issue ends with a tearful Fury(?!) telling MJ that she had every right to blame him for Peter's death, since it was all his fault.

Thoughts: Okay, first things first, I thoroughly enjoyed ALL three stories here. Seriously, storywise, I have no complaints... But(you had to know that was coming), the way this issue ended gave us no real finality... It ended with a page of Nick Fury crying a single tear over Peter's death. That's how this mini-series ended. I'm not all that clear on how that's going to lead us into the new Ultimate Spidey book. Speaking of which, the new Ultimate Spider-Man didn't even appear in this issue at all! He showed up ONE time this entire mini-series(issue #4 I believe)! That was it!! Hickman did a good job setting up his Ultimates series in this mini, Spencer did a pretty good job as well, although it did kind of annoy me that Jimmy from Ultimate X didn't show up once, but the lack of Ultimate Spider-Man hurt this mini just a tad for me. I'll be picking up all three of the Ultimate Marvel ongoings(as well as the Ultimate Hawkeye mini) thanks to this mini-series, but I can't help but feel Bendis could have given us just a bit more of his new Ultimate Spidey character... Oh well, I guess that's his way to get us to pick up the new Ultimate Spidey ongoing, and for this comic fan? It worked.

Score: 9 1/2 out of 10.Wait, Johnny Storm has black hair now!?


X-Men: Schism #3(of 5):

Summary: We kick this party off with the new baby Hellfire Club jamming Emma Frost's telepathy before entering the just-opened Museum of Mutant History(or some similar sounding building). The pint-sized Hellfire Club eventually manages to take down the X-Men inside the museum(that would be Emma, Iceman, Magneto, Colossus and Namor, yes that's right, a bunch of punk-ass little kids defeated at least TWO omega-level mutants...) as well as a few of the younger X-Men who were with them, with the exception of Generation Hope member Idie, who managed to hide from the big bad little girl in pigtails. Realizing something bad was about to happen, Lord Summers pulls on his jetpack(huh?!) and flies away from Crazy Mutie Island(Utopia), with his destination being the museum. Meanwhile, Wolverine, who was out drinking not that far away from the museum, having heard about the disturbance on the TV, begins to race over to the museum as well. The baby Hellfire Club members decide to bring the defeated X-Men members outside the museum before leaving a suitcase and their adult minions behind. By this time, the Stepford Cuckoos have managed to link Lord Summers, Wolvie and Idie together telepathically, with Idie reporting back to Lord Summers and Wolvie what she was seeing. Upon hearing that there was a bomb inside, Lord Summers tells Idie to do whatever she felt she had to do to get the Hellfire Club's hostages outside and away from the bomb. Wolverine STRONGLY disagrees with Lord Summers strategy, and yells at him to have Idie get out of the museum, not confront the Hellfire Club goons. Idie emerges from her hiding place and attacks the Hellfire Club's goons, while the pint-sized Hellfire Club leaders retreat, having done what they set out to do. By the time Wolvie and Lord Summers arrive on the scene, Idie is walking out of the museum on shaky legs, telling the two that she had saved the day before collapsing. From there, the museum explodes, killing all of the Hellfire Club goons Idie had blasted before leaving the building. Wolvie gets pissed at Lord Summers and tells him that he never should have allowed her to be in the position to kill Hellfire Club members, while Lord Summers bitches Wolvie out for being in a bar instead of being at the museum. Before the argument can get interesting, the two realize that the bomb left by the tiny Hellfire Club members was more than first thought, as it begins to pull metal into it, creating an enormous Sentinel.

Thoughts: I hate to say it, by this ridiculous mini Hellfire Club junk is destroying what could/should be a great X-story for me. It's like I said last issue, if it was only ONE evil child running the Hellfire Club, I'd have no problem, because the X-Men really haven't dealt with all that many evil, genius, prepubescent enemies before. But four children, defeating the X-Men while making fart jokes does not a good story make. There's only so far I can overlook stupid storylines, and once we get FOUR evil, genius, prepubescent children trying to destroy the X-Men, my eyes begin to roll around in my head. It's too bad, because like I said, if the lead villains were adults, or even if only one of the evil children were there, I'd be lapping this story up. But as it is right now, I just can't enjoy a story where a bunch of 11 year olds are beating up Magneto while calling him a “withered old fart”... Come on, Jason Aaron I KNOW you're better than that.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.Yeah, nothing says serious villain like a little girl with pigtails saying, "I farted".......

New Comic Day! August 17th edition.

Hey again X-Maniacs, it's another Wednesday, so it's time for another New Comics Day. As usual, I picked up a bus load of new comics this week, and as much as I hate to say it, they aren't books I'm THAT keen on reading... But before I get into this week's mess, hows about we take a look back at last week and see how I faired with my predictions and comic reading. Last week we had two Picks of the Litter, and both of them came away with very good to great scores, with Fear Itself #5 getting a 9 out of 10 and New Mutants #29 coming away with a solid(if a bit disappointing) 8 out of 10. Last week's Runt of the Litter was Ghost Rider #2, which came away with a respectably mediocre 6 out of 10. Unfortunately, that score wasn't good enough for me to keep GR on my pull list as I dropped it earlier today. Last week's average comic score was a 6.76 out of 10, which is actually pretty depressing... Last week started off spectacularly for me, hell, I even gave out a perfect score, but I guess those REALLY bad comics I read to close out the week(I'm looking at YOU, New Avengers #15 and Batman and Robin #26!) seriously hurt the average score. That's too bad, because at the start of the week I honestly thought I'd have a new best comic reading week...

Okay, that takes care of the pointless babbling about last week, let's take a peek at this week's books and see what I managed to snag... Fables #108, Hellblazer #282, Batman #713, Justice League of America #60, Superboy #11, Superman/Batman #87, Titans #38, Zatanna #16, Avengers #16, Avengers Academy #18, Captain America #2, Captain America Corps #3, Daredevil #2, Fear Itself: The Home Front #5, Invincible Iron Man #507, Journey Into Mystery #626, Thunderbolts #162, Ultimate Fallout #6, Uncanny X-Men #542, Venom #6, X-Factor #224, X-Men: Schism #3... So 22 comics this week... Really? That's ridiculous... With the whole, “That's ridiculous!” thought in my mind, I actually DID leave a few books at the comic shop, as for ONCE, I showed some self-control. I was going to pick up Generation Hope #10, Fear Itself: Deadpool #3, and Fear Itself: Fearsome Four #3, but managed to force myself to put them back on the rack, as I'm sure I wasn't going to enjoy ANY of them, so why bother picking them up? I ALMOST didn't pick up Uncanny X-Men #542, but I decided to keep my copy... But I'm telling you, I was thisclose to passing up on that issue too. Not only that, but I finally dropped Generation Hope from my pull list after reading 9 mainly horrible issues of that series. So yeah, good ol' X is FINALLY starting to show some self-control! Once the Fear Itself event comes to an end, as well as the X-books being shaken up, and the DC relaunch, I'm hoping to be down to a more reasonable pull list come October. As for this week's Pick of the Litter, comically, there aren't any books here that I'm REALLY psyched to read. I guess I'll go with the always entertaining Avengers Academy #18 as this week's top pick. This week's Runt of the Litter offers me more choices, and after some thought I'm going to go with Uncanny X-Men #542, which has sucked the big one since Kieron Gillen took over. I can't say I understand why Marvel went with a relatively unknown writer to take on one of their main franchises, but here we are. And that's it for this week. A few comics I'm looking forward to, with the majority of the books middling at best. Hopefully some of those middling books will prove me very wrong and will be quite good. With me having so damn many comics to read, and not being all that enthused about them, there's a good chance I won't bother reviewing some of them. It all depends on how my week progresses and how bad these comics are... I'll leave you all with this week's random scan, and for me? It's time to say X out.

The Random Scan of the Week!What a flatterer that Daken is!!

Ghost Rider #2 & New Avengers #15

And I've reached the bottom of this week's comic pile, meaning these were the two comics I was least looking forward to reading. Expect low scores... Very low scores...

Ghost Rider #2(Fear Itself tie-in):

Summary: This issue gets underway with Mephisto telling Johnny Blaze that by allowing the mysterious Adam to take the Ghost Rider curse off of him he had doomed humanity. Johnny is rather skeptical of anything that Mephisto says, since Mephisto IS the devil and all, so Mephisto reveals that if Adam's plans come to fruition(and with his own Ghost Rider, he's well on his way), Adam will save all of humanity from sin. Johnny figures Mephisto is only bitching because if there was no sin, there'd be no need for the devil, but Mephisto tells Johnny that without sin humanity becomes stagnant, uncreative and emotionless, basically a civilization of mindless zombies. Johnny asks exactly what Mephisto wants from him, and Mephisto tells Johnny that he had to rescue the new BAD-ASS Ghost Rider from Adam and get her as far away from Adam as possible. Speaking of BAD-ASS Ghost Rider and Adam, Adam demands that BAD-ASS Ghost Rider kill the people she had been living with in her secluded little temple, since they were full of sin or something. BAD-ASS Ghost Rider won't do it(because as I've established already, she's a BAD-ADD), so Adam attacks her with some weird magic. As for Johnny, Mephisto teleports him to Adam's temple and Johnny enters, shooting Adam in the arm with what looks to be his old hellfire-shooting shotgun(!). One of Adam's disgruntled henchmen, Seeker, decides to help Johnny, shielding him from Adam's more fanatical followers and their automatic rifles. The Seeker tells Johnny to get him near BAD-ASS Ghost Rider since he could power her down. Johnny approaches BAD-ASS Ghost Rider and offers to help her, but she goes all crazy on him and decides that she would wipe the earth clean of sin, starting with Johnny.

Thoughts: Okay, here's the thing. This comic wasn't that bad. Rob Williams did a good job of laying out the story, as well as giving us the motivations of the two major players(Mephisto and Adam). Johnny wasn't written as some sort of brain-dead hick this time around(thank god...), and the art was solid. However, I'm still not sold on the new Ghost Rider... Yes, it pisses me off that Marvel decided to change Ghost Rider's sex as opposed to simply crating a new female character. Yes, I am still pissed that my favorite Ghost Rider, Danny Ketch, hasn't even been mentioned yet. But more importantly, the lead character here, Ghost Rider, just doesn't do anything for me. Her background story isn't particularly interesting(she was raised by Adam in a cult for the express purpose of one of the cult members becoming Ghost Rider one day), and thus far, SHE isn't particularly interesting. And that right there is a pretty major problem... The story can be good, the co-starring characters can be great, the art can be solid, but if you can't connect with the main character, what's the point in reading? So this'll be the last issue of this series I pick up for the foreseeable future. If this series lasts past a dozen issues, and I hear some good things about it, I'll give it another shot. But with me picking up between 50-70 comics every month, I think I'll be able to get by minus this series.

Score: 6 out of 10.See, she IS a BAD-ASS! I told you!!


New Avengers #15(Fear Itself tie-in):

Summary: This comic was all about Squirrel Girl. Yes really. After she defeated Wolverine, probably the greatest fighter in ALL of Marvel Comics, in hand-to-hand combat, that was all I could stand.

Thoughts: Yeah, this comic sucked. It sucked to the point where I felt like stabbing myself in the brain repeatedly with an icepick to make the pain end. I don't know if Bendis is completely oblivious to the fact, but let me explain something about Squirrel Girl... She's a comedy character. She's always been a comedy character. Trying to write her as a serious character? In a serious comic book? With her fighting(and beating!!!) one of the most serious characters in ALL of comics? No. No, no, no. This was one of the most painful Marvel comic book reading experiences I've had since Secret Invasion. If you value your sanity, please, DO NOT read this comic book!!! I'd have given this comic the full 0 out of 10 imperfect score, but that wouldn't be fair to Mike Deodato, who did a good job on art. So instead, I'll give this one a...

Score: 1 out of 10.I have nothing non-profane to say here, so let's just move on...

Fear Itself: Uncanny X-Force #2 & Vengeance #2

I'm getting towards the bottom of this week's comic pile, which means these are the comics I really didn't want to read... I'm hoping for mediocre comics here, but realistically? I'm expecting the worst.

Fear Itself: Uncanny X-Force #2(of 3):

Summary: After Jonathan Standish's live execution of a young superhero, X-Force has made Standish and his fanatical Purifiers their number one target. To that end, X-Force has Archangel scare the Purifier they captured last issue into giving up all the information on Standish as the guy knew. As for Standish, he's doing some weird experiment involving the human brain, and trying to figure out a way to kill as many people as possible in order to save them from the devil(I'd assume the Serpent) Marvel's super-powered characters had summoned. In other words, he's out-of-his-mind crazy. After learning what they could about Standish from the goon, X-Force hops in EVA and heads into Earth's orbit to wait for Standish to stage his next big attack. While in orbit, Fantomex gets word that Standish had sent several Purifier soldiers out into random towns and cities across the US, with the Purifiers randomly shooting and killing people. Realizing that he couldn't stop all of the Purifiers, Wolverine tells Fantomex to bring the team down to the nearest town, while Psylocke tells the team that she only needed one of the Purifiers alive since she could tear the location of Standish out of the captured Purifier's mind. With that, Wolvie splits the team into numerous smaller groups and has Fantomex drop the X-Forcers off at the locations of several of the Purifiers, with orders to take one of the Purifiers alive. Wolvie heads out first and kills his Purifier(nice example there, Logan...), while Deadpool manages to subdue his Purifier, but finds out each Purifier had a bomb attached to them to make sure they wouldn't be captured... Needless to say, Pool's Purifier explodes. Psylocke and Fantomex arrive at the next Purifier, which leads to the Purifier arming his bomb. Psylocke doesn't want to let this Purifier kill himself since she needed him alive in order to tear through his mind, and attempts to stop the bomb. However, upon tearing at some wires, it seems the bomb goes off. From there we head back to Standish one more time and see that he built a bomb using... um, I'm not really sure... Human brains?

Thoughts: I was really enjoying this comic right up until the ending, which I obviously didn't get. Standish kept talking about how the human brain could produce 25 watts of electricity, and wound up hooking up 8 people's brains to a bomb... Or something. *shrugs* I'm sure it'll all become clear next issue. Probably... Like I said, before the strange ending, I was really enjoying this one. Rob Williams did a pretty good job writing the X-Force team, although there was one part while the team was in EVA that bugged me involving Psylocke, who was pondering if maybe Standish was right and “super-people” were the cause of the eventual end of humanity... At least he righted that weird move by having Psylocke look pretty bad-ass during her fight with the Purifier. As for the Purifier Psylocke and Fantomex were fighting exploding? I'm gonna say that Fantomex made the Purifier think he exploded with his misdirection allowing Psylocke to capture and/or get the location of Standish from the Purifier's mind. So yeah, there was some good and some bad, in other words, an okay comic book.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.Wooo, that is the Psylocke you DO NOT want to see coming your way!


Vengeance #2(of 6):

Summary: Miss America manages to fight off the demons that were trying to get Kid In-Betweener, before returning to the Teen Brigade's base with Kid In-Betweener. While that's going on, the Young Masters(of Evil) are setting up shop in an abandoned Hydra base. Meanwhile, Kid In-Betweener speaks cryptically to the Teen Brigade, who decide to move their base to a new, more secure location. The Defenders are joined by the AWESOME Daimon Hellstrom, who warns them that he had visions of an evil, destructive presence invading from another reality. From there, the Young Masters break into the facility holding the corpse of Bullseye because they want to... Well, they aren't all that clear on that... Steal the body? Take credit for killing him? See for sure that he was dead? It's probably one of those three things. While the Young Masters are gawking at Bullseye's corpse, Lady Bullseye arrives on the scene and warns the Young Masters to leave Bullseye alone lest she killed them. One of the Young Masters, Mako, decides to disobey Lady Bullseye, so she decapitates him... Well, she did warn them. From there, Lady Bullseye tells the Young Masters to leave so she could... I'm not quite sure, but it appears that Lady Bullseye wants to jump Bullseye's bones... Get it? Because she wants to have sex with him and he's a corpse! Ah forget it... We end this issue with Kid In-Betweener talking his cryptic talk to the Ultimate Nullifier.

Thoughts: Well then. I have no idea what I just read! Necrophilia, demons, the Red Skull doing weird Nazi things back in 1944, a cosmic being in the body of a child... This was just ALLLLLL over the place!! You know what the weird thing is though? I'm STILL curious enough about where the hell this is all going that'll I'll probably pick up the next issue. And that's with me only understanding every seventh page... I KNOW there's a good story hidden in here someplace, and by god, I'm going to find it!

Score: 4 out of 10.Yeah I'll admit, that was pretty awesome.