Thursday, May 19, 2011

Hawkeye: Blindspot #4 & Invincible Iron Man #504

Two Marvel comics on the agenda for today, one I've been looking forward to all month long(Hawkeye: Blindspot) and one I'm expecting big things from(Iron Man). Will they live up to my lofty expectations or will I wind up being disappointed??? Well, let's find out!

Hawkeye: Blindspot #4(of 4):

Summary: So after the events at the end of the last issue, Hawkeye is blind now. AND he's trapped in a room with his crazed brother Barney(who's going by the codename Trickshot) and Baron Zemo, the man who put all of Clint's recent misery into motion due to Clint taking away something Zemo loved(Moonstone). Clint let's his brother taunt him for a while while he tries to regain his bearings and remember where everybody was placed in the room. Having listened to Barney blather on for a while, and recalling the layout of the room, Clint fires a few trick arrows at his surprised brother, hoping to disorient him. Unfortunately, Barney recovers faster than Clint, and knocks Clint across the room, causing Clint to totally lose track of what was where. Now really blind, and practically helpless, Barney begins to nick Clint with several arrows, just to be an ass. Barney decides to beat Clint to death with his bare hands and begins to do just that, asking Clint if he had any last words, to which Clint responds, “Dad would be proud.” in reference to the abusive father both Clint and Barney had suffered beatings from as youths. That line completely infuriates Barney, allowing Clint to get the upper-hand by latching onto Barney's leg and delivering a beating of his own. Eventually Barney puts a bit of distance between the two and they both pull out their last remaining arrow... Clint throws his first, and a water filled arrow breaks under Barney's feet. Barney laughs that off and steps on the water preparing to throw his final arrow, a conventional and deadly one. Clint listens to Barney step in the pool of water and is able to anticipate the arrival of Barney's arrow by sound and catch it, which shocks Barney long enough for Clint to throw it back at him, pinning him to the wall by the shoulder, before he's able to knock out his pinned brother with a well placed right. With the battle between the brothers over, Baron Zemo emerges from the shadows and applauds the fight he just saw, telling Hawkeye that they were even now, since they had now both lost somebody they loved. Clint says nuts to that and tries to blindly attack Zemo by following his voice, but is in no real condition to defeat a fighter as skilled as Zemo, and is easily brushed aside. Zemo tells Clint that since he had won this round of their battle, he was releasing all of the money Barney had made back during his criminal days to Clint, making Clint a very wealthy man. Clint makes one last effort to get Zemo, but Zemo teleports away, just as Steve Rogers and Iron Man arrive on the scene to find Clint barely conscious. Later, in a lab at Avengers Tower, Clint wakes up and is surprised that he can sort of see again. Dr. Blake(Thor's civilian guise) informs Clint that his earlier usage of the Pym Particles to turn into Goliath had temporarily reduced the swelling in Clint's brain, making surgery a possibility. Blake tells Clint that they were going to use Barney's bone marrow(as per Barney's wishes) in an attempt to help Clint's own body regenerate the damage done to his occipital lobe, hopefully curing his blindness. A quick surgery later, and Clint wakes up able to see again. After thanking his friends who had stuck with him throughout this mini(Blake, Iron Man and Steve), Clint heads into Barney's room to find out why his brother had given his bone marrow to help Clint. Barney explains that HE wanted to kill Clint, and that he wanted to do it when Clint was at 100%, not as a blind man. Clint tells Barney that he refuses to give up hope that one day they'd be working together, but Barney is insistent that he WILL kill Clint eventually and that he'd never forgive him. A few days later, Clint heads back to the funhouse where the climatic final battle began, as well as the place Clint first became Hawkeye and Barney became Trickshot, and decides to use his new fortune to fix the place up and make it a place of redemption.

Thoughts: Well, I first want to say this... I LOVED this mini-series. The first three issues were absolutely phenomenal. This issue was really good too, but there were a few things that bugged me... Clint's battle with Barney(and to a lesser extent Zemo) just seemed too evenly matched... I mean Clint was fully blind during that fight, but was more than able to hold his own. Yes, eventually Barney did put Clint down, and Clint was able to outsmart his older brother by making him angry, and thus careless, but Clint catching the final arrow BLIND and firing it back at Barney, hitting him RIGHT in the shoulder and pinning him to the wall was a bit much for me. I can only suspend my belief so far! Other then that though, I have no real complaints here. Clint got his eyesight back(which is something that HAD to happen), he also got his brother back(somebody who can become a serious threat to Clint, and hopefully the Avengers), and still has heat with Baron Zemo. So yes, as one of the biggest Hawkeye fans you'll ever find, I'd call this mini-series a RESOUNDING success, and I'll tip my hat to Jim McCann(writer) and Paco Diaz(artist) for providing me with a Hawkeye mini-series that I'll remember for years to come.

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.That's a great catch... For a blind man!!!


Invincible Iron Man #504: (Fear Itself tie-in)

Summary: We get started with th Grey Gargoyle watching one of the Serpent's hammers land in Paris. Curious, he approaches it and becomes one of the Serpent's Worthy. As for the star of this comic, Tony Stark tells Pepper Potts to hire Bethany Cabe(who has worn the War Machine armor a while back) as the head of security for Stark Resilient, especially since he'd be busy dealing with the Fear Itself stuff. Pepper doesn't really want to, since Tony had been romantically involved with Bethany(who hasn't Tony been romantically involved with?!), but Tony puts his foot down and rushes off to Paris to see what had happened there. Upon arriving, Tony's senses pick up NO life signs anywhere in the city. Tony lands and is horrified to find nothing but stone statues that used to be people. A man sneaks out of his home and tells Tony to get out of the city before it was too late, but alas, it IS too late and the now super-charged, Serpent possessed Grey Gargoyle(along with his big-ass sledgehammer) turns the man into stone before turning his attack to Iron Man. Tony rapidly realizes that the Gargoyle can't seem to turn Tony to stone, but is WAY stronger and faster then he's ever been before, knocking Tony through several buildings, as well as through several stone people, breaking them to Tony's horror. Tony tries to take the battle to Gargoyle, and is simply decimated by the Gargoyle. The Gargoyle beats Tony to the ground, and slams his sledgehammer into Tony's face, as Tony tries desperately to get a mayday out to the rest of the Avengers. After the sledgehammer shot, Tony is left a broken, battered, bloody and unconscious mess. Eventually Tony comes to and realizes he was buried under something very heavy. Tony climbs to the surface and is stunned when he realizes that he was buried under hundreds of broken statues of former people.

Thoughts: Wooooooo, now THIS was a GREAT comic! The ONLY knock I had against it was the stuff with Pepper and Bethany. Honestly, I could care less about whether Pepper was jealous of Tony's relationship with Bethany. Besides that though? I loved every page! Unsurprisingly Matt Fraction did a great job with this Fear Itself tie-in(I mean he should! He's the architect of the story!), and the sense of dread while Tony was in the silent City of Lights was palpable. The Grey Gargoyle(who I've always seen as a joke of a character) came across looking like a MONSTER, and completely squashed Iron Man in a matter of a few pages, something you don't see happen very often. To say I'm looking forward to the next issue of this series is a HUGE understatement!

Score: 9 1/2 out of 10.Nighty night, Tony.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Batman and Robin #23. Plus a rant on Jason Todd's hair?!

Well I was originally going to review this comic along with Batman: Gates of Gotham#1 in one of those double review posts I do, but after reading this issue, I felt compelled to rant about something in it... Something very strange, but something that I just COULDN'T overlook anymore... Yes X-Maniacs, I am finally going to rant on Jason Todd's hair color!!!

Batman and Robin #23:

Summary: This issue starts with a VERY red-headed Jason Todd(more on THAT in the Thoughts section...) complaining to Batman(Bruce Wayne) that he didn't deserve to be locked in Arkham since he wasn't that much crazier than Bats. Bats wants Jason to stay in Arkham for his own safety, since the Red Hood was notorious for killing criminals, but since Jason was able to pass all of his psyche evaluations, there's not much Bats can do without arousing too much suspicion. With that, Jason gets his transfer to a normal prison and Bats warns Batman(Dick Grayson) and Robin(Damian Wayne) to keep an eye on Jason while Bruce was out of town on Bat business. Upon arriving in prison, Jason is a marked man since he never revealed his real name to the authorities, so everybody KNEW he was the Red Hood, scourge of the criminal community. Jason deals with the various threats hurled his way by killing several criminals, making it look like suicides or fights with other inmates. Eventually Jason manages to poison the prison's food supply, killing dozens of inmates and making hundreds severely ill. Having had enough, the warden decides to send Jason back to Arkham, against the wishes of Bats(Dick), who fears that this was all a part of Jason's escape plan. Sure enough, Jason's convoy gets attacked, and this issue ends with a bunch of walking, talking animals breaking him out of the prison van... Walking, talking, gun-totting animals?!? Really?!?!?

Thoughts: Well this... Was NOT what I was hoping for... First things first though. And it's been pissing me off for a while now. Jason Todd has naturally BLACK hair!!!!!! Goddammit! Let ME set the record straight here, since it's painfully obvious DC has no idea what the deal with Jason is... Jason Todd's first appearance was in 1982/1983(or there about). In those issues he was a circus performer(ala Dick Grayson) whose parents were also circus performers(ala Dick Grayson). Jason was a spunky acrobat with naturally RED hair, whose parents were killed by a criminal(once again, ala Dick Grayson), in his case Killer Croc. From there, Jason DYED his hair black, dressed as Robin once to help Batman(against the Joker I believe), and then continued fighting crime dressed in his circus acrobat costume until Dick Grayson handed over the Robin mantle to Jason. It was all good until DC rebooted Jason's origin following Crisis on Infinite Earths(for some reason). In the reboot version, Jason was a street urchin with naturally BLACK hair, who Batman discovered trying to boost the tires off of the Batmobile. Liking the kid's moxie, Bats takes him in and decides to make him his new Robin, since Bats had a falling out with Dick Grayson. So there. Jason Todd, POST-Crisis does NOT have red hair!!! Yes, he had red hair PRE-Crisis, but that origin was retconned! It pissed me of to NO end to see Jason in this comic with flowing red hair... It's wrong!!! I mean jeez, how the hell can DC fuck up their OWN origins that blatantly?! *sigh* Okay, I'm glad I got that out of my system. Now I can move on to the comic at hand. First things first, I'm a huge fan of Judd Winick(from his Batman run, to his Green Arrow run, from Green Lantern, to Exiles), I love the man's work. Especially his work on the Jason Todd character, who I've always had an affinity for, even before Winick brought Jason back from the dead. So I was REALLY looking forward to this comic... Unfortunately though, it just never came together for me. Maybe it was the red hair, maybe it was the talking animals, I don't know, but for some reason, this issue didn't draw me into the story like I expected it to. It was still better than most of the Batman titles, but it just didn't provide the greatness I was hoping for...

Score: 7 out of 10.Here's PRE-Crisis Jason Todd. Note the red hair.

Here's Jason's FIRST POST-Crisis meeting with Batman. Note the black hair(sorry for the image quality, I don't own this issue yet, although I will soon!). I guess he was stealing those tires to pay for his black hair dye...

Here's a 90's retelling of Batman's first meeting with Jason. Once again, note the BLACK hair.

And here's Jason today, complete with PRE-Crisis red hair...

New Comic Day! May 18th Edition.

Hey X-Maniacs, it's Wednesday, meaning it's time for yet another installment of the blog post that's sweeping the known universe, New Comic Day! We'll do this the same way we usually do this, by first taking a look back at last week before moving onto which books I picked up for this week. Last week the comic I was most looking forward to was REBELS #28, and it came away with a perfect score. Unfortunately that was the final issue of REBELS, but hey, that just proves that the powers-that-be over at DC are a bunch of sorry clowns. Last week's Runt of the Litter, or the comic I was least looking forward to, was FF #3 and it surpassed my low expectations, with me giving it an above average score of an 8 out of 10.

So there we go, that was last week, what's on tap for this week? Earlier today I picked up the following comics... Batman and Robin #23, Batman: Gates of Gotham #1, Fables #105, Hellblazer #279, Justice League of America #57, Outsiders #39, Supergirl #64, Superman/Batman #84, Teen Titans #95, Zatanna #13, Amazing Spider-Man #661, Avengers #13, Avengers Academy #14, Generation Hope #7, Hawkeye: Blindspot #4, Invincible Iron Man #504, Namor Annual #1, Silver Surfer #4, Thunderbolts #157, Uncanny X-Force #10, X-23 #10, X-Factor #219 & X-Men: Prelude to Schism #2. 23 comics?! Sheesh, that's excessive even by my standards... Anyway, I had a bit of difficulty deciding on this week's Pick of the Litter... I was pretty sure it would be Batman and Robin #23, which features the return of Jason Todd... And then I saw that Hawkeye: Blindspot #4 was in this week's pile... So after some thought, I have to go with Hawkeye: Blindspot for this week's pick. That mini-series has been absolutely fantastic from the beginning, and with this issue giving us the final confrontation between Hawkeye and Baron Zemo, how could I NOT pick this? This week's Runt of the Litter was a very easy choice... It's Supergirl #64, hands down. I'm thisclose to dropping this series, and another bad showing here will probably be the last straw for me. And that's it. Another week in the books. I'll post the Random Scan of the Week, and then it's time to read some comics! Until next time, X out!

The Random Scan of the Week!This'll probably be the last new REBELS post I put on the blog in a long time...

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

10 Thoughts On... Avengers: The Korvac Saga.

Hey all, X here with a random post about a hardcover I read over a month ago... I typed up the review back then, but never found my opportunity to post it... Until now! Tomorrow will be the New Comic Day post, but today it's some fun with the Avengers, circa the late 1970's.

Avengers: The Korvac Saga. Collecting: Avengers #167-168, #170-177. Thor Annual #6

Synopsis: Michael Korvac was an evil man, and was eventually transformed into a living machine thanks to some jerk-ass aliens. Korvac the machine bumped heads with Thor and the Guardians of the Galaxy, but was always defeated. That all changed when he found himself on Galactus's massive spacecraft and absorbed millions of years of knowledge and immeasurable power. Now a god, Korvac has decided to bring order to a universe that was full of chaos. Sure that sounds good on the outside, but who would want to live in a universe where the order was enforced by Korvac? Certainly not the Avengers and the Guardians of the Galaxy!

-First things first, this story had an awesome flow to it, especially considering it was written back before every storyline was geared towards a trade and thus 4-6 parts.

-With that said, Jim Shooter did a masterful job of putting this story together. We get a VERY slow burn leading up to the inevitable showdown between the Avengers, the Guardians and Korvac. I honestly don't think Shooter gets NEARLY enough credit for his work/contributions to comic books.

-I've got to admit, the Guardians of the Galaxy really didn't impress me much in this trade. How in the world did they have a comic in the 90's that lasted as long as it did?

-The fact that Captain America punched Iron Man, a man wearing ARMOR, while calling him a “low-life mercenary” pretty much guaranteed that this trade wasn't going to score any lower than an 8!Oh Cap... You so crazy!

-Speaking of characters who didn't/don't impress me, why Ms. Marvel was included here is simply beyond me. I mean really, what did she add to things? I'll answer that myself, actually. Nothing. Nothing at all. God do I hate her...

-Hawkeye defeating the Collector, a cosmic being, in one on one combat, automatically made this comic's score at least an 8 1/2!If you ever needed evidence as to why Hawkeye is the BEST comic book archer out there, here it is!

-The Collector's daughter being sent to spy on, pretend to love and eventually betray Korvac, who had the power of a god? Lame... Lamer still, the fact that she wound up really falling in love with him! That is SO clichéd!

-As a fan of Cap, I was really getting into his fight with Korvac! I mean the guy has NO powers, and was standing toe-to-toe with a GOD! Man is Cap awesome!Yeah, so he has the powers of a god... So what?

-So Korvac winds up dying because his wife wasn't totally devoted to him?! Really?! And then his wife kills HERSELF because Korvac was gone?! GAH!

-An issue of the Avengers from the 70's/80's wouldn't be complete without the obligatory Quicksilver/Vision argument!HA! He called Vision a digital watch...

Score: 9 1/2 out of 10. I enjoyed pretty much everything about this hardcover except for the ending... The way Korvac died just didn't do it for me. I will say this though, I LOVE that Korvac wasn't portrayed as a pure villain, but rather was somebody who truly wanted to do right. I mean he could have used his powers to run amok, but he didn't, he simply wanted to “fix” the universe. NOW I understand why this is considered a classic Avengers story!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Going old school with Batman!

X here with something a little bit old, and a little bit new. You see, after my marathon weekend where I posted 16 new reviews between Friday and Sunday(wow, that's a lot even for me!) I've just about finished off my new comic pile. Sure, I have a few books in there still(an issue of Weird Worlds, an issue of Uncanny X-Men, a few Wolverine: The Best There Is comics, etc), but nothing I'm really jumping out of my skin to read. So instead of reading/reviewing something I just wouldn't have my heart in, I've decided to combine two of my old, abandoned blog ideas, the vaunted Retro-Review, along with the beloved Picto-Review... You know, I REALLY suck at coming up with names for things... “Retro-Review” and “Picto-Review”... *shakes head* Anywho, I wound up reading three old issues of Batman recently and figured they'd be a blast to review. Oddly enough they all feature the DREADED Crazy-Quilt as their lead villain... That sounds like the kind of name I'd come up with actually... Well, instead of gibber-jabbering about it, let's get to the comics! Oh, before I get started, a quick note... I'm not going to bother giving any of these comics a score. I'll just say that I enjoyed them all and leave it at that.

Batman #316(Oct. 1979).

We get underway with Batman and Robin(at this point, still Dick Grayson, even though he was LONG overdue for a costume change...) catching up to some feeb who set a fire in a hospital. The feeb immediately surrenders, and Bats and Robin take the arsonist to Commissioner Gordon, who's aimlessly wandering around the smoky hospital.
Damn that crusty old Commish!

From there Crazy-Quilt breaks into STAR Labs and steals a prototype laser intensifier. Batman and Robin happen to stumble across the scene and end up getting schooled by Crazy-Quilt... Really?!
Um, if you're not that crazy, why would you name yourself CRAZY-Quilt? Why not Slightly-Deranged-Quilt, or Mildly-Unhinged-Quilt?

Having escaped from the rather inept Dynamic Duo, Crazy-Quilt continues his crime-spree by kidnapping some doctor from his home.
“You may call me--Crazy-Quilt!” “The only thing I'm calling is the police!” Oh burn!!!

Naturally, Crazy-Quilt tells the doctor his life story, because that's what any comic book super-villain SHOULD do! He was a painter-turned-crime boss(there's something you don't see very often...) who was nearly blinded when a rival gangster shot at him. Thanks to the bullet, all Crazy-Quilt sees is very bright lights, thus concluding one of the more bizarre villain origins EVER! With the help of the doctor, the laser intensifier and the hospital that was torched earlier, Crazy-Quilt plans on getting his eyesight back. Upon learning that the doctor had mysteriously disappeared, Batman figures out that he was kidnapped by Crazy-Quilt and taken to the hospital so Crazy-Quilt could use the laser intensifier to restore his vision... Wow, he figured all that out just by some random doctor being kidnapped?! Bats and Robin head to the hospital where Crazy-Quilt is being operated on and run afoul some of Crazy-Quilt's traps...
Oh no! It's the spinning lights of Eternal Damnation!!!!!

Needless to say, the Dynamic Duo manage to pass Crazy-Quilt's light based traps(it was a spinning light! How could they NOT get passed it?!?) and enter the room just as the surgery ends, and yes, it was a success. This causes another fight between the Dynamic Duo and Crazy-Quilt, which leads to Dick BLINDING Crazy-Quilt and Batman gently smacking Crazy-Quilt upside the head.
Sure, blind the poor guy again... What a dick...

Needless to say, Crazy-Quilt doesn't take kindly to the whole re-blinding thing, and begins firing wildly around the room, hitting nobody and emptying his guns. Now no longer a threat, Crazy-Quilt is crestfallen(yes, crestfallen!) over this turn of events, because, in the overly dramatic words of the Batman, “Crazy-Quilt is blind, Robin--And this time... It's FOREVER!!”
That's right, FOREVER!!!!!!!!

Batman #368(Feb. 1984).

Yeah baby, we've entered the Jason Todd era! Jason has just helped Bruce take down Poison Ivy, and the two are trying to figure out a name for the fledgling hero.
Yes the title of this story is, “A Revenge of Rainbows”... And?

Eventually Dick Grayson arrives... Dick Grayson and a mysterious box!!! Sorry, I must still be channeling the Batman from that last issue I read... While that scene plays out, a mad scientist helps restore Crazy-Quilt's eyesight... Well, kind of. It seems that the mad scientist has drilled holes into Crazy-Quilt's head(hence the “mad” attached to scientist) and has rigged Crazy-Quilt's helmet to bypass his “dead eyes”, allowing Crazy-Quilt to see via his helmet. Crazy-Quilt repays the mad scientist by killing him... Yeah sure, kill the ONE guy who was able to cure your blindness... Methinks they should call him Stupid-Quilt! ZING!
That poster disturbs me to no end for some reason... Dick sure did show A LOT of leg, didn't he?

Back with Bats, Dick and Jason, Dick reveals the contents of the box, a used Robin costume... Yuck. Dick has decided to FINALLY move on from being Robin, and Jason happily pulls on the Robin costume officially for the first time.
“And minutes later, Jason Todd looks great.” You KNOW that's what Bats was thinking while licking his lips...

With that, Dick leaves, and Bats tells his new Robin that from this point forward he'd be adding to the Robin legacy. In other words, try not to toss crooks off balconies or get blown up by the Joker! Oh wait... Anyway, Bats and Robin head out into the night and take a bite out of crime... Wait, shouldn't Bats at least... I don't know, TRAIN with the kid a little bit first?! By the end of the night, the two are officially an item again. Hey, don't look at me, Vicki Vale said it!
Kiss him... Kiss him...

The next day, Jason begins to realize the enormity of the legacy he was taking up and gets a visit from Bats...
I... I don't even have anything witty to say about that panel... That's just... I mean... Goddammit Bruce! That's just plain creepy!!!

After what I shudder to think about happening in the Batcave, the Dynamic Duo head out into the Gotham night... Dammit, that last panel is really disturbing! *sigh* Pull it together X... Anyway, Crazy-Quilt has learned that Bats and Robin were an... ugh... item again and decides to take out his vengeance on Robin for the whole “blinding him forever” thing. Out on patrol with Robin, Bats spots Crazy-Quilt's tri-colored lights shining off in the distance and fearing for his latest boy toy's safety, tells Robin to stay put while he investigated. Unfortunately for Bats, Crazy-Quilt had anticipated that Bats would do that(wait, how?!?) and beats Jason up with a garbage can lid?!
Okay, I get that he was blind for most issue #316, but are you seriously telling me that Crazy-Quilt can't tell the difference between the presumably 13-ish Jason for the almost 20 year old Dick Grayson? Hell, the voice alone should be a dead giveaway!

Anyway, this issue ends with Bats discovering Jason battered and beaten in an alley, sadly the way he usually found Jason...
Wow, Bats was a real drama queen back in the day...

Detective Comics #535(Feb. 1984).

This issue gets started with Bats carrying Robin home, stripping him, dressing him in a pair of hospital scrubs and putting a massive bandage on his chest to deal with his beating from Crazy-Quilt... Um, okay... That'll fix everything... Robin wakes up and recounts how he was beaten by Crazy-Quilt before zinging Bruce and shuffling off to the Batcave to rest up.
Yep, this definitely deserves a “ZING!”

That night, Robin emerges from the Batcave and smacks Bats in the face with Joker's scepter, knocking Bats out cold... HA! It seems that Robin had been hypnotized during Crazy-Quilt's beating the night prior and was told to knock Bats out and find Crazy-Quilt once the opportunity presented itself.
No means no, Batman!

Robin heads straight for a warehouse in Gotham and discovers Crazy-Quilt there. Crazy-Quilt sics his goons on Robin just as Batman wakes up, finding the Joker's scepter laying next to him with a note attached. The note tells Bats where Robin headed, and he soon arrives, spooking Crazy-Quilt's goons by simply walking in the door... Good help is SO hard to find... Crazy-Quilt blasts Bats to show his goons that Bats wasn't anything special, but Bats and Robin manage to hide in the shadows while Crazy-Quilt is scolding his lackadaisical goons. Panicked by Robin's disappearance, Crazy-Quilt takes off his helmet(which apparently has REALLY long wires) and hangs it on a pillar to draw out a confused Robin. Upon spotting Robin, Crazy-Quilt smacks him in the head with a pipe... D'oh!
Man, Jason really takes a lot of blunt trauma to the head these two issues...

Batman stops Crazy-Quilt from bashing Robin's brains out with a well placed Batarang, but manages to accidentally knock Crazy-Quilt INTO his helmet... Wow, that's just terrible luck. Now back in his helmet, Crazy-Quilt begins to school Batman.
“palette of pain”? “Masterpiece of death!”? Crazy-Quilt's dialogue is beyond awesome!!

Before Crazy-Quilt can kill off Bats, Robin wakes up and hypnotizes Crazy-Quilt with a mini-fan with some foil attached to the blades... Yes, really. With Crazy-Quilt now under his power, Robin commands Crazy-Quilt to smash his helmet, ending the threat of Crazy-Quilt... FOREVER!!! Really, I don't think Crazy-Quilt has done anything substantial since this issue! Sure he's had a few cameo appearances, but THIS was the pinnacle of his criminal career... Sad.
I guess you shouldn't have killed the mad scientist, should you have, jerk?

And thus ends what can only be called The Crazy-Quilt Trilogy. Here's hoping you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed typing it up. That's it for me today, until next time, X out.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

X-Men #11 & New Mutants #25(!).

Last two reviews for today. The first one is the last issue of X-Men I'll be picking up for the foreseeable future since my least favorite writer(that would be Christopher Yost) will be taking up the writing duties beginning with the next issue. The second comic I'm reviewing? All I have to say about it is this... X-Man returns!!!!!


X-Men #11:

Summary: This issue begins with a few of the Crazy Muties throwing a birthday party for Vampire Jubilee to make her feel normal. The fact that the Crazy Muties(What? They live on Crazy Mutie Island, want am I supposed to call them?) are trying to make Jubilee feel “normal” actually has the opposite effect, causing her to feel like even more of an outsider. After yelling at the poor, confused Crazy Muties, Jubes storms off to brood on a rooftop. Prof. Xavier follows her and rather then try to convince her that she was normal and everything would be all right, Prof. X tells Jubes that she was different now and that she'd have to learn how to cope with these differences. From there Prof. X relates the story of his first encounter with a vampire in Africa back in the 1950's. It seems the young Prof. X saw a photo of an elephant strung up in an issue of National Geographic, and thought it may have been the work of a fellow mutant. After a search and a run-in with some mercenaries who were also trying to figure out who strung up the elephant, Prof. X is saved by a member of a peaceful tribe of vampires. It seems these vampires didn't want to victimize humans anymore and had begun drinking animal blood(hence the strung up, bleeding elephant). After telling Prof. X this story, the vampire vanishes, never to be seen by Prof. X again. In other words, Jubilee didn't have to live the way the vampires she'd met lived(Dracula and Xarus), she could live her life her own way. Now feeling better, Jubes decides to head back inside with the Prof so he could have a piece of cake.

Thoughts: I've always been a big fan of Prof. X, so it should go without saying that I really enjoyed this one. He's always had a great relationship with Jubes(there was an issue of Uncanny right after the X-Cutioner's Song that really hammered that home), so it was great to see these two characters who kind of fell off the map in the 2000's having a nice little heart to heart. If you're not a fan of Xavier, you probably wouldn't care to read about his youthful adventures. But for me? This was a breath of fresh air.

Score: 8 out of 10.How is calling somebody abnormal supposed to make them feel better?!


New Mutants #25:

Summary: This issue begins with the remnants of the New Mutants(minus Cannonball, Karma, and Illyana) along with Wolverine, Shadowcat and Colossus attacking a Nimrod-possessed automotive assembly plant. The team battles robots for a while before Doug Ramsay(who's not dead for some inconceivable reason) figures out that everybody Lord Summers sent on the mission had a personal connection to Illyana... It seems that Illyana had recently killed some Elder Gods and manipulated the X-Men in the process. Because of this, Lord Summers has decided to imprison Illyana permanently on Crazy Mutie Island, which Illyana understands completely. After the New Mutants(and company) take care of the robots, they return to Crazy Mutie Island, where Colossus immediately makes a beeline for Lord Summers' throne room. While Colossus is bitching Lord Summers out over his actions towards Illyana(his sister), Moonstar visits with Cannonball, who was recuperating due to Limbo and/or Legion(I didn't read the past several issues, what do you want from me?!). After the Illyana business and with Cannonball hurt, Moonstar figures that Lord Summers would be breaking up the New Mutants. Cannonball comforts her and they share a kiss(??!) before Moonstar heads in to see Lord Summers. It seems that Lord Summers wasn't breaking up the New Mutants, but instead wanted them to begin tracking down any loose ends the X-Men had dangling out there. The first loose end Lord Summers wanted tied up? X-Man, Nate Grey. Back when Norman Osborn controlled HAMMER, Osborn and his Dark X-Men managed to defeat and capture Nate(back in the Dark X-Men mini-series). Since Osborn's fall from power, Nate hasn't been seen, which is something Lord Summers was disturbed about, since he seems to have suddenly remembered that Nate was his alternate dimensional son... Better late than never, right? And what of young Nate? It seems he's been imprisoned and was strapped to a machine that was forcing him to believe he was being hunted by the Avengers. The man controlling the machine? None other than Nate's Age of Apocalypse enemy, Sugar Man(!!!!!)!

Thoughts: Before I get to what I thought about this one, I have something I want to say first. I have not now, nor have I ever claimed to be impartial. I'm not one of those delusional bloggers who thinks that they are real journalists, and as such holds some warped notion of journalistic integrity. I know better. I'm not a journalist, I'm just a guy who loves reading and talking about comics. So yes, I'm a VERY biased reviewer... So there. Why did I just go on that spiel? Because Nate Grey is my favorite comic book character ever, hands down. There's nobody else that's even in the same league as Nate in my mind. Sure, I like other characters(Bart Allen, Jason Todd, Hawkeye, Steve Rogers, Mr. Sinister, etc), but my feelings for Nate are on a whole other level. That's why I decided to start picking up this series again. Well, that and the fact that Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning were taking over the writing chores, although to be totally honest, I'd have picked up this comic regardless of WHO was writing it... It was just a HUGE bonus for me that DnA happened to be the guys writing this one. Was the story perfect? I don't know... All I know is that my all-time favorite comic book character was in this one, battling against Thor(in his mind), being tortured by one of his old villains, and I couldn't be happier! So I'm going to smile, I'm going to be happy, and yes, I'm going to give this comic a score way higher than it probably should get... But hey, at least I'm honest about it!

Score: 9 1/2 out of 10.Nate vs Thor?!? Yes please!!!!!!

FF #3 & Amazing Spider-Man #660

The two reviews posted here both revolve around the FF... How's that for convenient? It's almost as if I planned on reading and reviewing these comics at the same time...

FF #3:

Summary: This issue begins with the various members of the FF heading out into the world to hand out invitations to their various enemies... Yes, really. It seems that Dr. Doom was calling in the FF's smarter enemies(Roll call! The High Evolutionary, Diablo, The Mad Thinker & The Wizard) and asking them to join him at the Baxter Building to figure out a way to finally defeat Reed... Yes, really. Not suspecting a trap(because these villains are obviously not as smart as they're supposed to be), all of the villains show up and meet with Doom, Reed and Reed's daughter, Valeria, who put all of this into motion. It turns out that Valeria used the portal in Reed's lab to go to the Council of Reed Richards's's's, just as it was being destroyed by the Celestials a few months back. Four alternate Reed's follow Valeria back to the Baxter Building and decide to start a war between those four cities Jonathan Hickman introduced back in the Fantastic Four series for what I'm sure will be some nefarious reason. The Reed's visit the four worlds and manage to convince three of them(Old Atlantis, the Forever City & the Negative Zone) to assist them, while the forth Reed fails to convince the Universal Inhumans due to Centauri telepathy and Dire Wraith... um, tongue-pathy. This issue ends with the three remaining evil Reed's wondering whatever became of Reed #4, but agreeing that he wasn't needed to carry out their agenda.

Thoughts: You know, as I started reading this comic, I figured I was going to hate it... I mean REALLY hate it. Think about it, this issue starts with the FF members heading to the lairs of 3 of their worst enemies(and the High Evolutionary) to hand out invitations to the Baxter Building. That made me start thinking, “If the FF KNOWS where the Wizard(or Thinker or Diablo) is holed up, why the HELL haven't they dropped the hammer on him yet?!?” That just makes no sense. Luckily, that gets glossed over quickly, and the rest of this comic finally tells us why Valeria made that deal with Doom all those months back, not to defeat her father, but to defeat the renegade Reed's. If you can overlook the stupidity of those first few pages, this was a very good comic that starts setting the stage for what I'm expecting will be a HUGE battle between the renegade Reed's and the FF.

Score: 8 out of 10.Of all the ways to go, having an alien stick it's tongue through my skull would probably rank right near the bottom of the list...


Amazing Spider-Man #660:

Summary: The FF and Secret Six continue their battle from last issue until the Invisible Woman realizes that they were actually only battling the illusion creating Mysterio and Chameleon. Valeria, being smarter than EVERYBODY, goes a step further and realizes that all of Mysterio's henchmen were robots. The FF cut loose on the robots and make quick work of them, while Mysterio and Chameleon manage to escape. It turns out that Dr. Octopus created this entire charade in order to get the FF out of the Baxter Building, so he could break in with the other members of the Secret Six. Octopus manages to steal something from the Baxter Building and escapes before the FF and their kids return. This issue ends with Spidey heading home and meting up with his distraught girlfriend. She asks where he had been, and Spidey makes up a lie that convinces her, at which point they make out.

Thoughts: Meh. That's pretty much all I have to say about this one... The story was okay, but nothing more. It wasn't actively bad, so I really can't complain about it, but it was a BIG step down from the quality of stories that this series had been telling before the FF stuff. Oh well. I'm definitely looking forward to next issue, which is written by Christos Gage and guest stars the Avengers Academy characters.

Score: 7 out of 10.What can I say? I'm a sucker for those full page pictures.

Fear Itself: Youth In Revolt #1 & Journey Into Mystery #623

First up for today are two Marvel books, both Fear Itself crossover issues. Thus far I've been very high on the Fear Itself event... Will the era of good feelings continue here at the old blog? Read on and find out!

Fear Itself: Youth In Revolt #1(of 6):

Summary: This issue gets started with Prodigy(of Slingers fame!) being asked by Steve Rogers to get a group of younger heroes together to keep the peace while the Avengers were occupied with the events of Fear Itself. To the end Prodigy pulls together a bunch of heroes who had been serving in the Initiative, as well as Firestar, who joined to support Gravity, who wasn't sure if he should bother. From there Prodigy splits the multitude of heroes into smaller groups and dispatches them across the country, where they break up various riots and criminal activities that have been spurred by the Serpent's arrival on Earth. During a riot in Atlanta, Thor Girl, Ultra Girl and a few other heroes arrive to try to calm things down. Unfortunately, the arrival spooks the crowd more since Sin's attack on the White House had just become public, and upon seeing Thor Girl's hammer, the crowd thought Thor Girl was one of the Serpent's marauders. This issue ends with the panicked crowd trying to get at Thor Girl, endangering themselves and Thor Girl's teammates in the process.

Thoughts: Wow, this issue was great! I've always been a sucker for b-list Marvel heroes, and this comic had PLENTY of them! Hardball was here, which means this comic was going to get at least a 7 for a score from me(due to the Hardball Rule), but the great story helped boost the final score up way higher than a 7. For a regular sized comic, Sean McKeever was able to get A LOT of characters face time in this one, as well as some little moments of character development(Prodigy, Ultra Girl & Thor Girl, Firestar & Gravity, Komodo & Hardball, etc). On top of all that, the comic read like a breeze. By the time I got to the back cover I was already eagerly anticipating the next issue. If ALL of the Fear Itself tie-ins turn out like this one, I'm going to be one VERY happy comic book collector!

Score: 9 1/2 out of 10.You know the rules... Add Hardball to any comic to make it better!


Journey Into Mystery #623:

Summary: As he continues to prepare for his eventual war with the Serpent, Odin brings the massive Hel Wolf to Asgard, disturbing many Asgardians, including the young Loki. Loki voices his disapproval of Odin's recent actions to a fellow Asgardian, who agrees, but then tries to slit Loki's throat since most Asgardians still blamed Loki for the fall of Asgard during Siege. Volstagg interrupts the attempted murder and ferries Loki away from the gathered crowd. Volstagg takes Loki to Thor's pet goats, Toothgnasher and Toothgrinder, and while Loki cleans up after the goats, Volstagg relates the tale of how Thor wound up with the goats(at the urging of Loki, a youthful Thor used a magic bridle to break the rambunctious goats). Telling the tale makes Volstagg thirsty, at which point he leaves to get some mead. With Volstagg out of sight, Loki summons Ikol, the bird with his older self's knowledge. Loki inquires as to who this Serpent character was, to which Ikol tells Loki to go to the World Tree and ask the three wise women who were there. Loki does just that and returns from the trip very disturbed by whatever it was he was told. From there Loki visits Thor for some advice, before heading to the cell that was holding the Hel Wolf. Loki lets the Hel Wolf out, but wraps it in the magic bridle Thor had used years earlier to break his goats. After a while, Loki manages to break the Hel Wolf, and this issue ends with Loki telling the Hel Wolf that they'd be heading to Hel.

Thoughts: I'm still extremely intrigued by this story. There are still big holes as to what's going on, such as what Loki learned from the wise women, but I find myself enamored by the story... I really like Kid Loki, and have to say, the story and artwork here are doing a great job of keeping me interested. This is another Marvel book that I find myself looking forward to every month.

Score: 8 out of 10.Yes, the top panel with Loki taunting while riding the Hel Wolf made me laugh.