Thursday, August 5, 2010

Picto-Review: Brightest Day #7

Brightest Day #7(of 2,000,983): Writer: GEOFF “I'm gonna party like it's 1959!” Johns & Peter Tomasi. Artists: Too many to mention.

This is the issue that basically reveals why the characters brought back at the end of Blackest Night have returned(besides that fact that GEOFFY wanted them back).

First off is Deadman, who is supposed to embrace life.

Then we have the Martian Manhunter who is supposed to become forest burning pyromaniac.

The Firestorms need to stop Black Lantern Firestorm, who inexplicably seems to still be around.

Hawkman can't allow “them” to leave Hawkworld...

...while Hawkgirl has to prevent Hath-Set from killing Hawkman.

Aquaman is ordered to find the new Aqualad.

As for the rest, Capt. Boomerang needs to throw a boomerang at Dove, Jade has to “balance the darkness”. Osiris has to save his sister, while Max Lord has to kill Magog. Reverse Flash doesn't have to do anything... And finally, Hawk has to prevent Dove from getting struck by Capt. Boomerang's boomerang. And that's pretty much that.

What I Thought: What a load of garbage! If you wonder why Marvel has been gaining more and more of the comic book market share, while DC has remained stagnant, look no further then this series... “Throw a boomerang”?!?! THAT'S why Capt. Boomerang was brought back to life?! And the Reverse Flash! He had accomplished his goal BEFORE Blackest Night EVEN took place, and yet he was brought back too! I mean give me a break! Yeah, yeah, I'm sure some people did enjoy this comic(I'm pretty sure my good friend JT did), but I was pretty much disgusted by the whole thing. “Embrace life”??? That's why Deadman was brought back to life?! Well whoop-dee-frigging-do! And why the hell is Black Lantern Firestorm even alive?! Sad. A few short months ago, DC was far and away my favorite comic company, but now? Make mine Marvel!

Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.


  1. Lol you're such a cynic :P I liked it, the reasons for most people seemed really interesting, and I want to see how they'll deviate from these plans, plus it makes sense for Max Lord. And Manhunter having to burn down the forest that Ollie is living in should be interesting. I do agree with you about Boomer though, that was just lame...

  2. HA! I guess this is gonna be one of those case where we'll have to agree to disagree! I thought ALL of the reasons were lame! Deadman was returned to life to, "Embrace Life"?!? Wha?? Hawk came back to catch a boomerang! Osiris returned to free his sister? He knew that BEFORE the Entity had even told him that! And my personal favorite, Reverse Flash... He didn't have to do ANYTHING!!!!!

    Gah!! This was the issue that was gonna make or break this entire event for me. I was hoping that the reasons would be SO good that I'd be able to overlook all of the missed opportunities and mistakes that came from the end of Blackest Night, but this issue just compounded it all for me! The only one that was even remotely interesting to me was the Max Lord one, and that's mainly because it touched on an issue of Brave and the Bold from a year back that I enjoyed(I don't recall the issue, but it had Booster and Magog in it). I'll tell you right now, I won't be picking up a SINGLE post-Brightest Day series. Whatever DC puts out when this series FINALLY ends, be it an Aquaman comic, a Firestorm one, a Martian Manhunter or a Hawkworld one, I'm not getting ANY of them! I can TOTALLY understand why guys like Mark Waid are SO disgusted by DC right now. I feel the same way. Whew, thanks for letting me get that little rant off my chest JT! I needed that!

  3. Lmmfao, maybe his was something to do with Barry...I don't know haha. I loved the stuff with MM, Aquaman, the fact that Hawkman can die forever, because that would make me happy, and the fact that you know all the things won't come true, so seeing how they screw up is interesting.

    BUT, I respect your thoughts, and I do see your points, just another difference in taste, I will say this, Jackson Hyde > Hai-Me Reyes after only two appearances.

  4. "Lmmfao, maybe his was something to do with Barry...I don't know haha." Well yeah, I know that, but the point is that Reverse Flash returned Barry from the Speed Force BEFORE Blackest Night even began! Why was he rewarded for that action AFTER Blackest Night? Everybody else has something they still have to do, which is why they were brought back. Reverse Flash ALREADY did what he had to do, so why as he brought back?!? That one is really driving me crazy!

    As for the other ones? Meh. The Ollie-MM showdown could be interesting, but so many of the other ones seem really unnecessary. Aquaman was brought back to life to find some kid? Firestorm(Ronnie)was brought back to kill BL Firestorm? Why couldn't Ronnie stay dead and the Jason Firestorm deal with BL Firestorm(who I thought was supposed to be dead anyway)?

    But yeah, even though I'm down on the record as hating this, I'm glad to see your points, both here and over at your blog. I mean hey, you've almost got me interested in MM's story, so kudos for that! :D

    And even though I know pretty much NOTHING about him, I'd take that new Aqualad kid over my mortal nemesis Hai-Me ANYDAY!

  5. Great job X-Man, I definitely got a few laughs from this! What total ridiculousness. None of these "reasons" for bringing people back to life are things that couldn't have been accomplished by characters who were already alive. We all understand that it's the nature of comics for characters to come back from the if a writer's going to try to give a legitimate reason for it, it should at least be one that makes sense, and these ones just plain don't.

  6. A double helping of lamesauce. This all seemed very high-handed. Can't they just say, "We want to make DC zombies" and leave it at that. Must everything have a reason? Oh, well. It was a fun ride.

  7. Thanks for the comments guys! I couldn't agree with you more Marc, for some of the characters(Aquaman, Firestorm, Reverse Flash, etc)like you said, other characters could have easily have been placed in those roles. Why not have Tempest search for the new Aqualad(which story wise sounds better to me), have the current Firestorm deal with BL Firestorm, and Reverse Flash already fulfilled his objective, so I don't even know what to say about him! And some of the others, "Throw a boomerang at her."?! I mean come on! At least TRY to come up with something better then that! Again, like you said, it's the nature of the beast to have comic characters return to life, but either give a good reason, or don't give a reason at all. Leave it a mystery.

    Maurice, you put it perfectly. I think most comic fans realize that Blackest Night was DC's attempt to cash in on the Marvel Zombie craze, and there's nothing wrong with that, but why not just leave it at that? You know, "Oh no, the DCU has been attacked by evil zombies!" and then, "Yay, we've beaten the evil zombie horde!" The end. All this Brightest Day stuff just seems to be taking a story that should have had a definitive ending and unnecessarily stretching it out.

  8. Lol see, the thing is, you amke it seem like they came back for JUST those reasons, when the Entity says they came back to protect earth from the threat that's coming to stop a new entity-holder from being chosen. Like you said, they each have personal goals, but they weren't brought back for just those goals. Aquaman wasn't brought back JUST to find Jackson, but to fight the upcoming threat, as well as find Jackson.

    And if I even got you KINDA interested in the MM story than my job here is done.

  9. But once again, that goes to the whole point of, why can't the super-heroes who are currently alive take care of this supposed threat? I mean, you're gonna tell me Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, the Teen Titans, Firestorm(Jason), ten zillion Green Lantern, 25 thousand Flash's, the JSA, the JLA, Hai-Me the Great, and the rest can't deal with this threat, but old, fat, Capt, Boomerang can?! If nothing else, your argument kind of makes my point better than anything! :P You can't tell me that Hawkgirl is going to turn the balance against this supposed threat.

    HA! I guess take your victories where you can get 'em JT! :D

  10. When you're right you're right, but I just wanted to mention that, since you made it seem like Reverse-Flash just came back and laid around on a couch lol. Maybe they'll all become White Lanterns and save the day... I didn't write it!

  11. HA! I love the image of Reverse Flash coming back from the dead laying down on a couch and being like, "Screw all this, I'm watching Hell's Kitchen instead!"

  12. Lol the fact that you mentioned Hell's Kitchen made my day, even moreso considering he can time travel so odds are he'd already know who won.

  13. So just for fun, I tried to throw a boomerang today. But I couldn't do it, because some voice in my head stopped me! It said the only way I could throw it was if I died and came back to life in a major DC Comics event. I didn't question it...instead I just went home and read some comics.

  14. You know, considering that Reverse Flash came from like at least 100 years in the future, if he automatically knew who won this year's Hell's Kitchen, I'd be impressed!

    HA! Well, if I was in the same situation, Marc, I don't think I'd have questioned it either. Sometimes the best thing to do is to listen to those disembodied voices in your head! :D

  15. Aside from the Hawk story I really liked this issue. Lol. Issue 7 really saved their asses when it comes to me continuing to read this.

    I also like the Picto Reivew for this. Definitely gave my noggin a refresher of some things taht happen in the issue. Funny thing is, while I was reading this, everything was action in my head, like I could see it being an animated movie.

    Buuut anyways. I sense so much hostility in this review! Lol. awww X, I almost want to apologize for DC for ruining things for you!!!

    Maybe the next issue will be a little bit better. Lol. I hope.

  16. Lol Marc wins for best comment because that cracked me up. Yes, I give out awards on other people's blogs!

    It's because in the future Hell's Kitchen has evolved into a cooking/American gldiator hybrid and this is the year it starts, when Holli decapitates Jay. Lmao...

    I felt the same way Falisha, it was more like a film than I was actually reading anything, I guess thats how you know when you're sucked into the story. The only thing I like about the Hawks is the fact that they CAN die for good in that world, although I doubt they will.

  17. HA! Well, I am glad that you enjoyed this one Falisha! I wish I could get into this issue, but alas, twas not to be. I am still holding out SOME hope(however small!), since I am still getting this series, unlike Gen Lost, which I've totally given up on!

    Speaking of Hell's Kitchen, I am SO glad that Ben didn't make it to the final two! If I had to hear him talk about how much more "passionate" he was about food then EVERYONE else, I was going to scream! Plus I thought it was pretty sucky the way he skipped prep, told everybody he was leaving, and then came back. Man did he rub me the wrong way towards the end. So who do ya think is gonna win? I could honestly see either winning, but I think I'd give a SLIGHT edge to Jay. This season seems pretty tight though.

  18. OH MY GOD! I HATED Ben. All he did was say how passionate he was, he's the best cook etc, I was SO glad when Scott yelled at him when he went up to the pass. I don't like Jay either because he's kinda two-faced always saying Holli sucks and being sexist yet trying to date her... And yeah, I can see Jay winning, I want Holli to win but I think Jay may squeak by with a win.

  19. I have never watched an episode of Hell's Kitchen. My impression has always been that it's like Top Chef, only meaner.

  20. Holly should win!!!

    And yes Marc that's exactly what it is! Lol, I like the meaner version a lot more! lol.

  21. I sort of knew someone on Top Chef once, so that one automatically wins for me.

  22. When Scott freaked out at Ben I was ROLLING! I don't think I've ever seen someone's face get any redder then Scott's did! Just thinking about it is making me chuckle!

    I'd def prefer Holli, but if I were a betting man, I'd bet on Jay... Although the fact that I'm betting on a reality show woiuld probably indicate that I had a hell of a gambling problem...

    I've actually never seen Iron Chef. Does somebody care to give a quick rundown for me?

  23. Lol right? And Ben just reverted to being a little punk...

    Alright, I'll take you up on this, I bet you Holli beats Jay, name your stakes X.

    Top chef and Iron CHef are two different shows X, but basically on Iron Chef they get a random item and have to cook with it and whoever makes the best dish for the judges wins. They usually compete Country vs, Country.

  24. Ben just standing there taking that epic tongue lashing really made my night...

    I said IF I was a betting man JT! :P I'm honestly not confident enough to make that bet! I could REALLY see Holli getting the win. I mean, to me this is one of the closest HK finals I've ever seen. And yes my friend, that's what you call a cop-out answer! :D

    Oh man, did I say Iron Chef? I meant Top Chef... I was thinking of that episode of KotH with Bobby and the dummy where they're both chanting Iron Chef, which is why I said that... What I meant to say was, could you tell me what TOP Chef is about? :P

  25. I hated Ben... hes probably one of my least likes people of all time on that show.

    Haha good because I was beginning to doubt that and I was dreading having to do the punishment is she lost :P

    Lmao that reference just made me laugh SO hard. He had the highest voice, Iron Chef, Iron Chef! I've actually never seen Top Chef, maybe someone else can help us out.

  26. First off, thanks for those links, JT. I'll try to check 'em out come Thursday afternoon, that's when I'm done with school, and as such, I should have some extra time on my hands(finally!).

    Boy am I glad I didn't agree to that bet! :P Ramsay has a tendency to choose the lesser experienced chef who's improved a bunch, which is why I thought Holli had a great shot. I thought for sure she was sunk after service though! Except for Autumn(who was CRIMINALLY underestimated the entire season), her team sucked! But yeah, after service, I was SURE Jay was gonna walk away the winner!

    HA! That episode was another great one! I loved that old guy who gave Bobby the dummy and was hiding behind the curtains 'cause he thought the nurse was stealing his stuff...

  27. No problem dude, very interested on what ya think. And IGN has the stuff from Game Informer about Arkham City on their site but I'm just waiting for my issue to come in the mail.

    Haha I was like, MAN I wish X accepted that bet. I kinda expected her to win because of the reasons you mentioned but man her team sucked, I like Nilka and Slobhan is fucking horrible (excuse my language lol) I mean her and Ben annoy me to no end...

    LMAO! "If ya see that nurse, tell her ya couldn't find me." I love the one on demand now where their smoking and Luanne gives Hank a treat which he proceeds to sniff then eat like a dog, that cracks me up every time. And hoe lumpy Bobby's head looks.

  28. Heh heh, can you believe that I STILL haven't read that last issue of GI with DA2 in it? Man am I terrible with remembering non-school related stuff!

    Dude, they were AWFUL!!! I thought FOR SURE that service sunk Holli's chances at winning! That Siobhan(whatever the hell her name was)chick was HORRIBLE! I thought Jay messed up by picking Fran, 'cause I thought she'd be the one to screw up, but god DAMN was Siobhan terrible... And once again it was Autumn who saved the day in that train wreck of a kitchen. Sure she was annoying as hell at times(like when she wouldn't stop talking during the punishments), but I have no idea why she was picked on as much as she was.

    "I'm gonna catch that thieving slut..." That old guy was a riot! Yeah, the cigarette one was actually one of the better early KotH episodes. It's better then that stupid boggle one anyway...

  29. Lol man... I'm gonna be on you on your week off to make sure you read that, finally! :P

    I liked Autumn, and she was cool most of the time but she talks too damn much. OMG she NEVER shut up on those punishments.... And yeah, i expected Fran to be the downfall but man, ... the ugly chick lol was horrible.

    I Love that quote. Chip Block, All American. And yeah that boggle episode is horrible... lets see, what are some more bad episodes?

  30. Good, if you keep mentioning it I'm bound to read it eventually... Right?

    Right?! She just NEVER shut up! I remember when they were moving the beds out of the dorms and she was like, "In Japan they have conveyor belts that move the furniture for the movers..." I was like "What the HELL is she going on about?!?" But she could hold her own in the kitchen, even after like EVERYBODY seemed to turn on her. She was up on the chopping block a crazy # of times.

    Hmm... I'd prob just say like most of the episodes from the first and second season! Nobody was really ON yet. I mean, the first episode was okay(with that twig boy who tried to take Bobby away due to Hank's abuse), but there weren't really any memorable, or lol moments. You could pick like any of the middle seasons(3-10 or so)and come up with a bunch of lol moments, but those first two seasons were really skipable.

  31. Either that or the Arkham City issue will come and you'll forget all about it. :P

    Right? They probably just wanted her to go home because she talks too damn much. That was a punishment in itself! But I do agree, she was very talented, definitely one of the top three.

    I don't think I've ever seen you type lol...weird. :P And yeah, I'd have to agree, and Dale was less stupid and more of an authority figure for some reason.

  32. And then I'd forget about the Arkham City issue! :D

    I really don't know what it was. The red/girls team HATED her in the beginning I remember, that's why Ramsay put her on the blue team. I remember the guys being okay with her, then all of a sudden everybody seemed to hate her! Speaking of Autumn, remember when she was frigging fall down drunk? That was hilarious! How do you let yourself get THAT wasted when you know everything you do is being taped?!

  33. Oops, premature postage there... I hate when that happens... That is weird, but you're right, I rarely do(if ever)type out lol... Huh, go figure. Yeah, in the early issues Dale was just a bit off. He was more authoritative, and he had something against the UN, as opposed to the government.

  34. Lol what are we gonna do with you dude?

    Haha I know what you mean. They just liked her cause they were hot tubbing it and she added some breasts to the sausage soup....lmao @ that... I can't believe I just said that. Anyway, yes I remember her being drunk as hell, she even fell off the bed... man that was insane! I remember being pissed when she got in the hot tub while Jay and Hollie were in there getting all close.

    I also hate that premature posting, it happens to the best of us. And right? Meanwhile I feel like I type Lol waaaay too much. And exactly, he was definitely the second in command of the group, and even Bill was taken more seriously... it's weird to see how much everyone's evolved, and Peggy is pretty much the same.

  35. "sausage soup" and "premature postage"... *shrugs* :D

    Dude, if you type too much, what does that say about me?!

    Yeah, Peggy stayed like the exact same... Personality-side Bobby stayed the same, but the way he was drawn def got better(I laughed when you mentioned that he looked lumpy in that boggle episode, 'cause he SO did!), Same with Hank. Yeah, looking back, so many characters really grew from their early appearances. Even guys like Buck Strickland and Enrique changed radically. Hell, Enrique even got like two episodes all about himself before the series ended!

  36. Haha, I didn't even realize all of that...

    It says that you should really use that thing ya got that types what ya speak :P

    Right?! Enrique changed SO much, I loved the smoking episode when he's like, "I would love for you to meet my family Mr. Hill" then I immediately thought of the Quincinera (sp?) episode haha. "They put SALMON in the fish tacos Hank!"

  37. If I used that thing, my sentences would probably look something like this: I though these comic book as eight. Hit add Al of the things I liked in and comic.

    That damn thing has SUCH a tough time trying to figure out my accent, which means I have... to... talk... really... slow... for... it... to... undertand... me... :D

    HA, EnriGAY(HA!!!)driving to Hank's house with a fish taco screaming, "They put SALMON in the fish tacos!!!" was awesome.

  38. Haha that sucks. I remember you were so hype about getting it too, sucks that they aren't perfected yet. Or is your accent the reason like you said, if I used it would it work well ya think?

    Lmao Enrigay, Remember Hank washed that dude's mouth out with soap? That was so classic.

  39. I really don't know. I mean it DOES save me time when I have a 7 page paper to bang out, I just have to over-pronounce every word. Normally I talk pretty fast, but when I use that thing I have to REALLY slow down. But like I said, it does help me get my work from a notebook(where my drafts always start)to the computer.

    That episode was awesome. Mr. Strickland was a blast in that. I loved the way he turned on that guy when he saw everybody else hated his crap. You KNOW Buck loved that guy and his toilet humor!

  40. So when you say slow down a lot to talk, if you used that thing, how many words per minute do you think it recognizes with your slow talking?

    Haha, "Well hell, I hated it too!!!" I think my favorite is when Bobby was his caddy, and he's like "YOU MISSED BUCK AGAIN!!!" Then Hank slows down and that dude cleans Buck's clock. That was so great, and there's so many good quotes. "Miz Liz, two Hot Toddies!, You wanna be my wallet caddy Bobby?"

  41. Huh, I have NO clue! I don't think I could even make an educated guess on that one. I'd say that it probably recognizes up to 85% of my words. If I was speaking normally, that percentage would probably be around 60-65%.

    Yeah, Buck is one of those characters that REALLY became one of my favorites as the series rolled along. In the beginning he was pretty plain(like most of the characters), but by the end, I'd have to say he was definitely among my favorites.

  42. Ah X, you're fast talking and have an accent! You've officially earned the name Boomhauer. "Dang ol talkin so dang ol fast man like zoom freakin zoom zoom, man!"

    Definitely agree there, actually, what are your three favorite Buck moments/episodes?

  43. Once again I'll have to say that it's a New York thing. New Yawkers tend to speak faster then most Americans. That's one of the first things I picked up when I moved here to Binghamton... I was like, "Damn do the people around here speak SLOW!" Then I came to the realization, "Wait a minute, they're not talking slow, I'M talking too fast!"

    Hmm... Bobby as his caddy is def one of my favorite Buck episodes. I also loved the illegal food truck episode. And for #3 I'll go with the episode where he meets his bastard son. I'm sure I'm forgetting tons of great Buck moments, but those are the ones that stand out off the top of my head. The episode where he tried to frame Hank for Debbie's death was also pretty funny stuff. So's the one where him and the other three propane owners begin colluding with each other and are throwing money at each other in Buck's office. Huh, I could prob keep going actually!

  44. See now you keep talking it up (no pun intended) and I wanna hear it. You're gonna have to do a podcast or leave me a voicemail or something. Btw I love the whole "Wait, I'm Talking too Fast!" You're like a Speedster... I was gonna call you Barry but I know you'd hate it, so I'll just call you Mr. Barry Allen :P

    Haha I think I'll go with.... the Bobby caddy episode, the one with Buck and Luanne (She SPURNED ME!!!) and the one where Buck was living with that chick's roommate "I'll be bidding on ebay. You Gon Shut up is what ya Gone do!!!" Lol favorite 3 Luanne episodes?

  45. HA!!! You had me rolling with the Barry Allen line, JT! You jerk! Me, do a podcast? That was actually an idea that was floated around by the original LoL last summer, before you graced me with your awesome presence. Needless to say it never got off the ground!

    Hmm, favorite Luanne eps? Well, first off, she's not really my favorite character, plus my hatred of Lucky is legendary, so you know none of the ones with Lucky will be included. The one with Buckley's Angel(which was just on tonight!)would rank up there, the one when she moved out and got those AWFUL roommates was also pretty good, and to round it out I'll go with the episode after Buckley died and she lost her hair and she got into photo-journalism. "This is a picture of a hungry Irish child. Fight the occupation! FIGHT THE OCCUPATION!!!!"

  46. Lol I thought you'd like that. And really? Maybe we should do one for the big one year spectacular?!

    LMAO. FIGHT THE OCCUPATION!!!!! I Hated Buckley's angel, I don't know why. I'd probably go with the roommate one you mentioned, as well as the first episode with the Manger babies where Hank played God, and I'd also go wiiiiith, the episode where Luanne joined the cult. "I like to think of a man named Lou, and a beautiful woman named Ann!"

  47. HA, yeah that'll prob work out as well as doing those half year awards did! As you can see, I suck at keeping a schedule!

    Eh, the first Manger Baby one was okay, but it was still kind of early in the series and some parts of it kind of bugged me. Like the ending. But the cult one? I LOVED that one!!! I STILL laugh when they call Peggy "Old Jane"!

  48. Lol yeah, the ones we made ALL those topics for and then never did. Boy, that came out great :P

    Lmao, OLD Jane, BLONDE Jane! Those were such great episodes. They have the one where they find out Didi is pregnant on Demand now. I love the "I'm going to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches" Song Hank tries to sing haha.

  49. "Boy, that came out great" Well there's always the year end awards, right??? Oh who am I kidding... Hell, I'm still kind of surprised that you got me to start up the Saint Barry worship blog! Muy impressive mi amigo!

    Ah, I'll have to check that out, I love that episode!

  50. Haha, well you did year end awards last year, I'm sure I could coerce you into doing it again. :P As for that blog, hell I'm the one who's shocked, I was in awe when you said you'd make the blog, thought you were delirious and sleep deprived.

    Yeah I watched it again today, it was excellent. I loved him getting happy about his sperm count being 8 Million and the doctor's like "The average man's sperm count is 100 Million."

  51. The only reason that blog was even started up was probably because I WAS sleep deprived at the time! :P

    HA, that scene is awesome! Hank's SO proud when he hears the results and then when his bubble is burst he's so down about it.

  52. Lol well God Bless your sleep deprivation and God Bless Saint Barry Allen! :P

    Lmao right?! I watched it today and I LOVE the line where Cotton's like "They even flew in a Doctor from Calcutta!" Like that specifically flew him into the country when it's OBVIOUS that guy had already been living here.