Monday, January 28, 2013

Hellblazer #299

This is the penultimate issue of Hellblazer.  Why is that?  I honestly don't know...  I have a theory, but it involves DC being run by a bunch of trained monkeys...  So yeah, the "geniuses" over at DC have decided to cancel this series, which has been going since like 1987 or so, and will replace it with a Constantine series detailing the New 52 version of Constantine...  Because we as comic book fans are SO stupid in the eyes of DC, that we could never deal with TWO Constantine oriented series, even if one is being published under the Vertigo banner...  I don't know how you can cancel a series with a character as important as John Constantine...  Yep, what a company...

Hellblazer #299

Summary: This issue opens with Terry Greaves attacking the goon who shot Constantine last issue since he knew that would infuriate his daughter, Constantine's wife, Epiphany.  From there we learn that Constantine was indeed dead(!), and Epiphany heads to her father for a reckoning   Terry explains to Epiphany that he hadn't okayed the hit on Constantine, and takes her to the tied up goon who did, handing her a gun and telling her to get some closure.  With that, Epiphany shoots the goon in the head, killing him.  We next head to the funeral hone holding Constantine's body, where Epiphany is confronted by a demon that consisted of women Constantine had discarded.  Epiphany calls Angie Spatchcock, an old girlfriend of Constantine's, who is also a magician, to help.  Angie comes by and destroys the demon before angrily leaving Epiphany.  Epiphany heads back to her apartment and sees Finn(Constantine's recently discovered nephew) outside.  It turns out Finn's life has gone to hell since meeting Constantine and he was there to kill him...  HA!!  So after talking for a bit, Finn and Epiphany sleep together.  Next up is the funeral, which goes on without a hitch.  Epiphany heads back home, and turns down Finn's offer to stay with her for a bit.  This issue ends with Epiphany opening the door to the apartment and finding Constantine standing there!

Thoughts: This was a great issue!  It's funny, I didn't care for Epiphany when she first popped up, but as the issues have gone on, I've begun to really like her.  And this issue has me liking her even more!  So it figures that she'll be gone in another issue...  Damned DC...  As for the cliffhanger?  Man do I hope that's really Constantine...  I really, truly do...  Let him have somehow cheated death...  Let this all have been some big elaborate ruse he's pulled...  Even though it would go so counter to Constantine, who would be the first to say has lived a fucked up life, I really want to see him and Epiphany live happily ever after at the end of the next issue.  Regardless, out of everything DC has done recently, cancelling this series is probably one of the dumbest moves, and, to be honest, leaves me more pissed off than just about anything else that company has done...   And I've been REALLY pissed off at DC for a while now!  But cancelling this series?  THIS takes the cake.  Oh, and in case there's any doubt, there's NO chance in hell I'll be reading that watered down, PG-rated Constantine book DC is replacing this title with.  No bloody way.  There's only one John Constantine, and it's not that little bitch version over in JLD.

Score: 8 1/2 out of 10.
hellblazer #299
Only Constantine would look better as a corpse!

No comments:

Post a Comment