Saturday, January 29, 2011

Batman #706

Review: This issue begins with the Sensei trying to torture information out of Lucius Fox about something... Lucius has no clue what the Sensei wants(neither do I!), so he brings Tam Fox into the room, promising to torture her if Lucius didn't tell Sensei what he wanted to know. From there Batman(in this case, Dick Grayson)gets beat up by Riddler, Enigma and their goons, but Bats signals for Damian, who arrives and chases the villains away. Bats and Damian head back to the Bat-bunker and after looking at some pictures, Bats decides that Reaper could help him find Lucius Fox. Bats heads to Arkham, where Reaper speaks vaguely to Bats about the location of Sensei. I-Ching and Peacock talk about... something, and then Bats heads to Catwoman's base where he finds... oh god... Catgirl. Catgirl offers to help Bats find Sensei because she speaks Chinese and for some reason, Bats doesn't... But I thought she was a part of the Italian mafia, why the hell would she know Chinese? Whatever I guess. They head out, and quite frankly, this comic is SO awful I stop reading right there because I can't stomach it anymore. Sorry.

Thoughts: It's VERY rare for me to start reading a comic book and become SO disinterested in it that I simply stop reading it halfway through. I mean I've managed to read some of the worst things ever put out by either Marvel or DC(Secret Invasion, Brightest Day, Uncanny X-Men: The Draco), from cover to cover, no matter how bad it was/how much I hated it. But this comic? I couldn't finish it... Maybe I was in a bad mood when I was reading this comic or something, but I just couldn't be bothered wasting any more of my time reading this. The story is simply unreadable, plain and simple. I really don't get why DC continues to allow Tony Daniel to write Batman comic books. As an artist, he's great, but being a good artist doesn't make you a good writer(or vice versa). I'm now to the point where I'll simply scan through any comic book written by Daniel and not bother reading it, because while the art is good, the story is anything but.

Score: 0 out of 10.What is with Tony Daniel writing Damian so damn horny all the time? Isn't he like 10?!


  1. Lol horny ten year olds are not something I wanna read about. Also... yeah I was done with Daniel after he turned Jason heel and did some other stupid things. Also, I think this should've been a N/A but 0 works just as well.

  2. Seriously, I don't get why Daniel writes Damian like that! It was established that Damian IS 10 in Batgirl. So there's no question about his age or anything. So far he's had Damian on a date with a girl in the Batmobile and lusting after Riddler's daughter here... Hell, I was raised in NYC and even I wasn't like that as a 10 yr old! :D

    I was actually considering a N/A since I didn't finish this comic, but in my mind, that'll always be your thing... :P I'd feel like a thief if I scored a comic N/A!

  3. Man... that NYC line was great. And yeah, I'm wondering why Damian is so damn horny now, he is ten. I mean... he's somewhat mature but really? Ten!

    Haha, N/A is universal, and I've stolen enough from you, Best of the Rest/Ratings and Rantings anyone? ButI get what ya mean brotha!

  4. I'm going to say something that might seem strange. I buy this book because I know it's going to be bad. I love reading it every month because it is a mindless Batman comic. It very much makes me think of the old school comics where plots are total nonsense, and pretty much any random thing can happen for the sake of moving the story along. I mean, Batman got hit by a truck in this issue!

    Do I think Riddler and Enigma could ever stand a chance against Batman, even a blinded/disoriented one? NO. They couldn't even get the drop on a tear gassed Alfred. And Catgirl? Have you seen her costume? Nothing says "creature of the night" like hot pink stripes. Throw in the fact that Daniel wants to put EVERY Batman character ever created into each issue, and you've got a clusterf*** of epic proportions.

    BUT with all of this disarray, I find myself looking forward to buying the title every month. The art is quite good and it features Batman actually fighting crime in Gotham, so I'm content to throw my money away.

    With Robin's friskiness, I'm going to blame the League of Assassins and their genetic manipulation. That's my general explanation for all things Damian.

  5. IDK, JT... If I were to use an N/A I might as well rename the blog JTCS2! :D

    That's pretty much why I buy Brightest Day, so I totally understand where you're coming from, Kello. My main problem with this particular Batman series is the fact that I don't understand ANY of it! Maybe if I read it all together once the full story is done it would make some sense(maybe???), but as is, it just seems such a mess. I actually kind of like that Damian explanation... If all else fails, blame the League of Assassins! :D

  6. I'm gonna say he's frisky cause he's Jason's son, and we all know how Jason loved the ladies. Donna Troy, Babs Gordon, Talia Al Ghul anyone?

    Also, I'm fine with you calling it that X, make the change!

  7. I think this is the issue that I drop Batman. I think I am once again in the trap of buying out of habit, like I HAVE to collect Batman if I am a comic book collector.

    I think I'll take my $2.99 some place else...

  8. You're never gonna stop the whole, "Damian is Jason Todd's son!!!" thing, are you, JT? For as long as Grant Morrison is writing for DC, it's NOT gonna happen! :P Anyway, even if Morrison were to leave, I'm sure Chairman Johns would just kill off Damian, Jason and any other Bat-family member who debuted after 1970, so the point is moot. :D

    "I think I am once again in the trap of buying out of habit" That describes me perfectly as well, Mock! I'd say I pick up at least 4 or 5 comics a month that I genuinely dislike, simply because of some bizarre obsession with collecting every issue. It's like if I don't collect certain comics the Earth will go hurtling into the sun or something! It's terrible... Even though I KNOW I'm not going to enjoy next month's Batman, I'm sure I'll end up reading it anyway.

  9. I don't care what you OR Grant say, that's Jason's kid as far as I am concerned. Besides, until I see PROOF that Damian is Bruce's son, I don't believe ANYTHING.

  10. Well I don't care what you OR Winick say, Damian is Bruce's kid! :P Wait, wasn't it proven the first time Bruce met Damian? Didn't he like take a skin sample from him and test it or something? Because if he didn't, then he's WAAAAAAAY too trusting!

  11. That's the thing, Bruce did a test, and read the results and never said anything about it. So Bruce knows, but no one else knows. Not even Alfred.

  12. Hmm, I do kind of remember that scene. I'd have to go back and re-read that arc, and with all the other comics I still have to read, I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon! But with all the times Bruce has run into Talia, you'd think he'd be like, "Yo, I know what you did, Talia!" Um, without the "Yo" and probably way more long-winded... I can't see what Bruce had to gain by sitting on the knowledge that Damian is actually Jason's son and not his... Maybe telling Damian would hurt his feelings? Even that doesn't make full sense because Bruce has never cared about anyone's feelings... Look at how he treats the people closest to him!

  13. Maybe he knows if Damian wants to be like Bruce that keeps him on the narrow path, and telling him he's not his son, and Jason's off all people, could risk him going down Jason's path.

  14. JT's logic makes sense...after all, if he's only 10, it could potentially really mess him up to tell him everything he knows is a lie. Better to raise him to be a good person than tell him the truth and risk his going off the right path.

    And X, did you HAVE to mention The Draco?? That was one comic I actually DID quit reading partway through, after like the fourth issue...which was four issues too many!

  15. Idk guys... Bruce can be a real jerk at times, you know? Plus what does Talia benefit by sending Damian(as Jason's son)to Bruce? She'd have to know that Bruce would learn the truth, so why bother pretending that Damian is Bruce's offspring? So sure, Talia COULD create a kid with Jason, but why would she? So while it would be all kinds of cool, and give Jason SOMETHING, I just can't see it making sense.

    HA! See, I actually DID manage to read through the Draco, but I couldn't get through THIS comic, Marc! What does THAT say about this issue?!

  16. It says, "Don't read this issue if you want to retain what little there is left of your sanity, Marc!"

    Or something to roughly that effect...

  17. True, I'd think considering she knew Jason was back and at that time I don't believe Bruce would, I doubt he'd check Jason's DNA for a match. He'd probably just see it and say, this isn't my kid, but with his resources and Ra's and Talia he could grow up to be my greatest enemy or my greatest ally, and just play along, since that's how Bruce is. Besides, has he EVER called Damian his son? Not saying he hasn't, I just don't recall?

  18. No, Bruce would have known Jason was back because Morrison's run took place AFTER Winick's run, meaning Bruce would have met, fought and discovered who the Red Hood was. And even if he didn't know Jason was alive, I'm sure when he ran Damian's DNA it would have matched Jason's, since you'd think Jason's DNA would have been in the computer. I still don't see what Talia has to gain by sending Jason's son to Bruce, claiming it was Jason's son... THAT is the one piece of the puzzle that's missing for me.

    Hmm... Off the top of my head I can't recall Bruce specifically calling Damian "son" but Morrison does call that arc Batman and Son, so there! :P

  19. Who knows, but I think that's easily overlooked. If ya can't get Batman settle for the closest thing which would be a Robin. I still think there are more signs that say he could be Jason's than there are signs of him actually being Bruce's kid. If it was Bruce's why would he even keep the results secret?

    Lol, So :P He also calls Jason a red headed middle child that walks around with a phallic shaped helmet and thinks his main rogue is "The Pink Flamingo." So yeah, I need more proof, haha.

  20. Idk. There seem to be plenty of signs that Damian is Bruce's son. First of, why should Bruce make the results public? I mean it's not like he's gonna run around the Batcave waving the result paper screaming, "Oh my god, I'm a father!!!" The fact that he never confronted Talia with some sort of random paper, even quietly at the back of some panel somewhere would lead me to believe that Bruce thinks Damian IS his son. Then there's Ra's. I don't think he'd EVER allow Talia to procreate with somebody other then the Detective, or one of his hand chosen mates for Talia. I'm sure he would have looked into Damian's parentage as well. And of course, if you mixed Talia's dark hair with Jason's naturally red hair, you'd probably get a kid with brownish hair, not the Bruce Wayne black hair! :P

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  22. 1. Maybe he just never felt the need to confront her because they both know what the truth is. He feels he failed Jason, maybe this is his way of making it up to him?

    2. The Ra's thing does make sense, but I mean it's not like he was testing on Damian or something. If I recall, Ra's was dead when Damian came around wasn't he?

    3. You're an ass for that red hair joke, Lol. Maybe Damian dyes HIS hair. :P

  23. 1. Still, even if they both know what the truth is, Bruce doesn't know that Talia knows that he knows... What the hell did I just say?! Anyway, obviously Talia would know, since it's her plan, but you'd have to think she did it specifically to mess with Bruce's head, so why wouldn't Bruce reveal to Talia that he knows, even if it's in some sort of off-handed way. Why allow Talia to continue believing that she pulled a fast one on Bruce? Especially since she didn't?

    2. Ra's has been alive like FOREVER, he's REALLY smart, if he had any doubts as to Damian's heritage I'm SURE he would have looked into it by now. The fact that Ra's seems unconcerned leads me to believe that I shouldn't be concerned.

    3. HA!!! You left it SO open! :D
    Bruce: "Damian, your red roots are staring to show again, go dye your hair!"
    Damian: "Why the hell do I have red hair?!"
    Bruce: "Umm... Your.. MOTHER dyes her hair! Yeah, that's it!"

    4. You know, you're making me want to pull out Grant's entire early Batman run just to dig up clues, which is something I really don't have the time to do, nor do I particularly WANT to do!

  24. 1. We don't know WHAT conversations they've had X :P. That's my answer. We didn't know Talia and Catwoman had talked until they showed us, maybe Bruce HAS confronted Talia and we don't know yet. :P

    2. I don't think Ra's has any say though. Remember he and Talia weren't on the best terms during Damian's conception, besides what the hell can he do about it?

    3. Lmao, Bruce makes EVERYONE dye their hair. That son of a bitch. He must just be going gray and wants EVERYONE to suffer.

    4.Lmao, do you REALLY wanna torture yourself just to prove a point to me, X?

  25. Hahaha, I love reading these debates... :)

  26. 1. *sigh* I'm not gonna win this one, am I, JT...

    2. Idk, if Ra's found out that Talia had fathered a kid with somebody he didn't approve, I think he'd do whatever he could to scratch that blemish from his family tree. I seriously feel that Ra's WOULD have Damian killed if he even had an inkling that he was some common street punk's son and not the son of The Detective.

    3. HA!!! "If I have to dye my hair, then EVERYBODY has to dye their hair as well!!!!!!!!"

    4. To prove myself right? Yes. :D

  27. 1. Nope, I refuse to allow you to win this one brother.

    2. I doubt it, because Ra's needed his body first and foremost. EVen if he wasn't Bruce's kid, Ra's would have had no choice BUT to take his body if all had went according to plan.

    3. Haha, since apparently that's the kind of asshole Bruce is.

    4. Go ahead then, torture yourself, but know nothing short of Judd and Grant themselves will change my mind :P

  28. 1. I can see that... If I was a smarter man I'd just concede defeat, but what can I say, I'm not that smart! :P

    2. Yeah, but I just don't see Ra's accepting the fact that Talia basically mated with street trash. I mean don't get me wrong, I like Jason's character a lot, so I don't mean street trash in a wholly derogatory way(hell, some people would probably have called me street trash when I was but a lad!), but once Ra's found out(and you know he would have by now)I can't help but feel he'd try to rid the world of Damian.

    3. Well I for one wouldn't put it past him!

    4. So wait, even if I DO torture myself, and find some sort of 100% proof, you'd STILL disagree with me?! You bastard! :D

  29. 1. Well THAT'S one thing I WILL agree with. :D

    2.Lol I like the idea of people calling you Street Trash, like you're Aladdin. Also, I could see that but Ra's still is about loyalty to family. With the exception of his son, Ra's has shown to care for his family even when they have disputes. Also, as long as Damian isn't albino apparently, he's cool with Ra's.

    3. Now that touchy feely Bruce is around, it wouldn't surprise me if everyone has new hair colors!

    4. Thaaaaats me! So, do you concede X? Do you admit, that I am "The Man" (Hank Hill inflection)

  30. 1. And they call ME an ass! :D

    2. HA!!! I'm glad that the idea of people calling me street trash amuses you, JT! "Also, as long as Damian isn't albino apparently, he's cool with Ra's."... HA!!! That was great.

    3. Touchy-feely Bruce really creeps me out... It gives me flashbacks to those Batman comics from like the 40's where Bats would spank Robin and then sleep in the same bed with him... What a creepy bastard!

    4. NEVER!!! I shant admit defeat not today, not tomorrow, not ever! I shall find my proof and then post it here! Probably...

  31. 1. And they are correct!!!! :D

    2. Lol I mean, I just imagine you walking down the street and people pulling their kids away, "No Timmy! He's street trash!" And yeah, Ra's loves the earth, but he HATES Albino kids.

    3. Lol, that's how you get Robin's ready for war I guess?

    4. I'll be waiting ya big shot! I'll be waiting... but only for like three days.

  32. 1. Jerk... :P

    2. HA!!! "Stay away from that street trash! No, don't make eye contact with him!! Oh great, here he comes..." Man, sucks to be an albino.

    3. Yeah, that's how you get somebody ready for something... :/

    4. And wait you shall!

  33. 1. Thanks, Street Trash. :D

    2. Lol, exactly, so imagine being an Albino Street Trash. Also, is it just me or does Ra's seem like a human version of Sinestro?

    3. Yep, like throwing a kid in the deep end of the pool so he learns to swim, or running away from him so he learns not to cross streets by himself...or something.

    4. Waits.....