Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #1: Writer: Grant Morrison... Pencils: Chris Sprouse.
Review: This issue starts off with a bunch of cavemen checking out a crashed spacecraft. Being a spacecraft, the cavemen believe it to be holy, so they mill about and babble in a manner that I won't even try to explain. Eventually, Bruce Wayne emerges from a nearby cave and talks gibberish to the cavemen... Yes, gibberish. Crazy Bruce wanders over to the spacecraft and opens it up, removing a bat-symbol(which promptly disintegrates), and Superman's cape(???)... The cavemen bury the dead old caveman that Bruce was apparently living in the cave with, and then Bruce and the cavemen decide to sit down to have a meal... Is this really happening? Vandal Savage and his band of EVIL cavemen attack Bruce and his cave-buddies and Bruce proceeds to save the youngest of the cavemen. After watching from the shadows as the good cavemen were being routed, Bruce springs into action and eventually gets beat down by Savage's EVIL cavemen. Savage figures that Bruce is a god, and as such he wants to eat him, so he has his men tie Bruce down for the night, because I guess he wasn't hungry at the time. During the night, a giant bat visits Bruce, because... well I really don't know why, but it does. The young caveman that Bruce had saved earlier arrives on the scene, dressed kind of like a Robin(if Robin was a caveman)and cuts Bruce free. The next day, Savage wakes up ready to eat Bruce's brain or heart, he's not very specific on which, and is infuriated to discover that Bruce had escaped. Bruce arrives on the scene, wearing the remains of a giant bat, and uses the contents of his utility belt to confound Savage's men, until he ultimately defeats Savage in battle. Savage's EVIL cavemen are none too pleased by this turn of events, and as such begin to launch a barrage of arrows at Bruce and caveboy Robin. The two leap from a high cliff and land in the water below, and when caveboy Robin arrives from the murky waters, he discovers that Bruce was gone. A little later on, Savage's group pf EVIL cavemen toss Savage out of their tribe, just as a time bubble arrives. Superman, Green Lantern and Booster Gold emerge from the bubble and Supes realizes that they were too late and that Bruce had once again moved through the timestream. Then he ominously states that if Bruce returns to the present, everyone will die!!! For some reason... As for Bruce, he emerges from a pool of water now further along in the future(and not speaking in gibberish anymore for some reason)where he discovers a huge sea monster about to attack a woman... Oh, and for some reason, Bruce has a big sword now... And yes, that ends this one.
What I Thought: What can I really say here? This was horrible. I'd have easily scored this comic a 0 out of 10, but at least the artwork was okay. Cavemen, Bruce speaking gibberish, giant bats, what the bloody hell was Grant thinking here?!? This was nearly epically bad. There's a part of me that's actually looking forward to the second issue just to see how much worse this can get. If this first issue was any indication, this mini-series has the chance to be one of the worst things I have EVER read, so I guess that's something to look forward to, right?
Score: 1 1/2 out of 10.
What can I POSSIBLY add to this scene?!
You think that's bad the next issue doesn't even have good art. Dude... This is the most backwards series. I don't know what Grant's thinking. He can write good stuff! B&R 10 and 11 showed that, so what's he doing now? I'm so...confused.
ReplyDeleteOh man, are you telling me the second issue is EVEN worse then this one JT!?!? That's... that's a terrifying prospect!
ReplyDeleteIt's....yeah man. Lets just say I won't be reviewing numbers 3-6. Haha, it's something buddy, it is truly something.
ReplyDeleteSo, I liked this comic. Not perfect, but still definitely within the "good" category for me. Yeah.
ReplyDeleteWow, all I can say Marc is different strokes for different folks! It was all just too bizarre for me, especially the dialogue.
ReplyDeleteI thought the dialogue was interesting...almost reminiscent of Tarzan or something. And also, Bruce Wayne wasn't speaking gibberish, he was speaking English. His words were just spelled phonetically, and the spaces between the words were removed to show what a messed-up mental state he was in.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds pretty stupid, but it seems a little interesting. It's such a Morrisonesque sounding plot.
ReplyDeleteI don't see what's stupid about it at all, to be honest. In just one issue, Morrison has demonstarted Batman's resilience and the almost magnetic nature of his personality, which attracts even a caveboy to try to help him in a way similar to the manner in which the various Robins help him in the present day. He also begins and completes the character arc of that caveboy in just one issue, which is a pretty impressive feat these days. I just don't see what there is to hate about this issue at all.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you talking about JT? The second issue had excellent art... First issues art was lacking...
ReplyDeleteThe less said about Return of Bruce Wayne the better
Well, you know I respect your opinion Marc(so far all of the recommendations you've given me have been quite good), but we def couldn't be further apart on this one! That pic that I posted kind of says a lot of what my problem with this comic was. Bruce talking... whatever he was talking(even though later on in the issue he was talking just fine with no real explanation), plus the rocket... Am I to understand that Darkseid loaded him up in a spacecraft and sent him back in time?! And then there was the giant bat... I just didn't get it... But Morrison has always been VERY hit or miss with me, and although I'm glad you liked it Marc, this was a total miss for me. In the end though, I think Nagash's last line kind of sums things up the best!
ReplyDeleteI Bruce was just disoriented after his travel back through time, which is why he couldn't talk comprehensibly (in the page you posted, he's trying to say "The old man is dead. I'm sorry."). Another possible explanation is that Morrison was trying to convey Bruce's dialogue the way it would sound to someone who doesn't speak English; it seems pretty clear that Bruce and the cavemen are speaking different languages and can't understand each other.
ReplyDeleteI'm really interested in languages and linguistics, which I think is why I liked the caveman dialogue. In a primitive society like theirs, there would be no need for the more complex manner in which you or I speak. All they need are words for abstract concepts (food, water, etc.) and a way to string those words together to create meaning. Their society isn't even advanced enough for them to grasp the concept of individuality, which is why they refer to each other with abstract words like Man and Boy rather than giving themselves proper names. I thought Morrison's dialogue was effective at accurately showing the way that kind of society would have really functioned.
I suppose he could have just had them speaking gibberish or something, but this way was more interesting to me because it captured their way of thinking and especially the emotions that were aroused in the caveboy by Batman.
I think the nature of the rocket is supposed to be a mystery for now, kind of like the supposed reason that Batman returning to the present is a bad thing. I can't imagine Darkseid intentionally sent him back in time in a rocket ship with a Superman cape either...only time will tell, I guess.
As for the giant bat, it was a vision that Bruce had while he slept. It was inspired by the animal carcass on a stake in Vandal Savage's camp, kind of like the way Simon imagines the pig's head talking to him in Lord of the Flies. I don't think it was supposed to look so much like a giant bat when Bruce wasn't hallucinating...I think that was a flaw of the artwork (unless Morrison means to suggest that there were bats that huge flying around in caveman types, which I guess could be possible).
So anyway, that might not change your opinion of the comic and that's okay; it's just that in the review you asked what Morrison was thinking with this comic, so I thought I'd try and explain it as best as I can figure it out. I think the idea behind the comic, at the very least, was a good one...but whether or not Morrison succeeded at conveying that idea is a valid subject for debate. I think he was more successful than not so I enjoyed it, but if you think he failed I think that's a completely legitimate reason for not liking the comic.
Nagash I hated the art, I touch upon it in my review (which will be up about an hour after this) but I mean there's no definition in half of it. Say what you want about them being "in a different world" so it has to look different but If I didn't know Rip Hunter was with them I wouldn't know WHO he is because he was drawn so poorly and with no definition.
ReplyDeletehttp://tinypic.com/r/xmvc55/6
^^^ is a prime example, look at Booster's mouth, the way Rip just looks like some guy, and Supes doesn't even look like Supes he just looks like some dude with an S-Curl and some pajamas. He doesn't look like a powerful hero, he looks lame. That's my opinion anyway.
I love that you actually tried to explain this comic to me Marc! Much obliged! I def think you're right about the giant bat(although with Dick fighting a giant bat under Wayne Manor recently, I tend to wonder if that bat was more then just a simple hallucination/dream).
ReplyDeleteAs for the spaceship, the idea of Darkseid sending Bruce back in time, IN a spacecraft kind of made me laugh... It just seems SO bizarre that I can almost see Grant doing it!
You know what's strange? I love Grant's Marvel work, but I can't point at ANY of his DC work and say that I've enjoyed it... I guess this mini is just following that pattern for me.
Agreed: Marvel Morrison > DC Morrison. Speaking of which, I am currently feeling overcome by the desire to read Marvel Boy again.
ReplyDeleteOh man, I LOVED Marvel Boy!!!!!! That was such a spectacular mini!!! If you give Marvel Boy a reread, I might just do the same and give it a quick write-up for next week's Flashback Friday... That's if I can find it after all the unpacking!
ReplyDeleteI have no idea where my issues are for that series...in fact, I might not even have them anymore at all (if I even had them all before...I have no idea!). So I think to solve this problem, I'm going to have to buy the hardcover they released sometime last year. Sometime this week I'm going to finally put in the huge TPB/HC order I've been putting off for weeks now...just as soon as I finalize the list and work up the nerve to spend all that money!
ReplyDeleteI actually had the Marvel Boy mini AND the trade! I brought(and still have the singles), and won a contest from one of my online CB shops which netted me the trade, which I gave to my little brother.
ReplyDeleteI placed a HUGE trade order last December, because my CB shop was selling EVERY trade they had at a steep discount... I'm STILL ashamed at how much money I spent on myself... Right around Christmas time too, no less!
I've always been the worst at winning contests...until a few months ago, when I started winning a ton of stuff from different comic sites I visit! Mostly they've just been various single issues that people were giving away, but one of them was actually a C2E2 exclusive variant of RASL #6, which I thought was pretty cool. (Still haven't read the comic though since I haven't read #1 thru 5...)
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of trade orders, I just placed a decent-sized one about an hour ago...I love picking up trades on the cheap! This was an unplanned purchase though, and doesn't count as the big one I've been gearing up on for a while now. The only reason I haven't pulled the trigger on that one yet was because of the move and not wanting an extra boxful of books to carry around with me, but I figure it'll happen soon now!
I didn't even KNOW I was entered into a contest with that CB shop until I won! That trade came in the mail, and I was BAFFLED as to why... I was SURE I didn't order it, I mean, I had the singles, so that really puzzled me. Eventually I went to the site and dug around and saw that they had a contest going and that I had won, which helped put my mind at ease!
ReplyDeleteHuh, I did the same thing actually! I ordered the past two week's worth of comics on Thursday last week because I KNEW that they would arrive at the new place after I got there. I'll be looking forward to that package of goodness tomorrow. You want to toss out a few titles so I can see what's in store over at your blog?
Sure! Since mycomicshop.com had 10% off on Marvel titles starting with M-Z this week I grabbed a bunch of trades they had for dirt cheap. I got a few trades of Spider-Man's Tangled Web (I already have most of the singles, but it's actually cheaper to buy the trades than to fill the holes in my collection!), the original Sentry TPB (read it years ago and loved it, but never owned it), the limited edition Wizard Spider-Man Masterpiece Edition book, the new Mini Marvels Ultimate Collection trade (I LOVE Mini Marvels!!), and some other things.
ReplyDeleteI also got a few volumes of the Marvel Encyclopedia hardcover series from the mid-2000s because they were dirt cheap (less than $5 apiece...originally $20-30!) and I already had a couple of them. After I get this shipment I'll have all of them except the X-Men volume. I'm not sure how much use they'll be in this Wikipedia age of ours, and with a lot of things probably having changed since 2005, but the cost was low enough that I figured I'd take the risk.
So yeah, I'd definitely recommend taking a look at Marvel's cheaper trades on that site! They have really insane prices on some of those things. I'm not sure how soon these things will come up on my blog, but they'll probably be there eventually. As for the immediate future...in addition to the "secret" review we've talked about before and some Avengers-related things planned for later this week, let's just say I've read WAY too much Deadpool in the last two days. I also have some more off-beat, non-superhero stuff coming down the pipeline as well.
Jeez, listen to me ramble...I should stop talking so you can head over to mycomicshop.com and start raiding their (virtual) bargain bins!
With the exception of the Encyclopedias, I don't think I've read any of those books! I always meant to get the original Sentry series, but once I started collecting DC books, that idea kind of went out the window. I love the encyclopedias, mainly because I'm a HUGE stat junkie... I've picked up every single one of the Marvel Handbooks for that very reason. Needless to say though, the Handbooks are way more up to date then the encyclopedias.
ReplyDeleteAwesome, it sounds like things are going to be jumping over at your blog pretty soon!
Yep, just pushing myself to keep on the once-a-week schedule. And who knows, maybe one day I'll havae enough time to do more than one...but that would be a LOOONG ways off! I don't know how you do it every night X, but more power to ya!
ReplyDeleteThe week I see TWO new reviews up on your site I'll be shocked! :P Seriously though, I'm always happy to see new content over at your blog, because all of your work is SO well thought out and put together... That's probably why I can bust out so many reviews over the course of a week, mine are WAAAY inferior when compared to yours! For me it's just habit now... If I don't post something new to both blogs and respond to every respondable comment nightly, I feel kind of guilty... It's almost like an extra job for me now, just one I don't get paid for and can half-ass with no fear of being fired!
ReplyDeleteThanks X, the compliment means a lot to me. I do put a lot of work into those reviews, and I'm glad it shows. But don't sell yourself short, because you're doing good stuff here as well. Why else would all these people be coming back day after day? :)
ReplyDeleteNo problem Marc, I mean every word of that compliment. Oftentimes you'll find some reviews that aren't even spell checked and just seem a total mess, so it's nice to see somebody like you who seems to take the time to make sure that they're posting the best review they can.
ReplyDelete"Why else would all these people be coming back day after day?" Pity? :D Thanks for the kind words, although I sometimes wonder how I've managed to gain the followers I have! Some people must be a glutton for bad comic reviews I guess... :P
I was passing by and wanted to say both of you guys are awesome. Hell not too long ago X and I were talking and both said you're the best reviewer around here, you get so in depth that I'm even interested about characters I had no interest in before reading your reviews, like Hellboy.
ReplyDeleteAnd X you say what ya want but I agree with Marc, ya gotta be doing something right to have as many followers and loyal commenters as ya do. Hell the fact you post every day is impressive, both of you guys are awesome and I say that with 100% honesty. So keep up the good work.
Aww, it's a regular lovefest here! :-) MUCHO gracias JT, but let's not forget about your little piece of the Internet either! If people didn't know how awesome your blog was before, they WILL on Sunday! ;-)
ReplyDeleteWell thank YOU kind sir, haha, and yeah Sunday should be a great day in this blogger community we all share.
ReplyDelete