Monday, October 10, 2011

Uncanny X-Men #183 (July 1984)

Alright, here's a confession... I am NOT a fan of Chris Claremont's almost universally lauded Uncanny X-Men run... His dialogue never managed to grab me and he always seemed to need a plucky female(usually a teenager) to lean on in pretty much anything he wrote. Since I wanted to do a Retro Review on an issue of Uncanny X-Men, and I didn't want ALL of my Retro Reviews to be from the 90's or 2000's, I pretty much HAD to take on an issue from Claremont's Uncanny run. And as luck would have it? It was ALLLL about Kitty Pryde, my least favorite X-Men member, and Claremont's favorite crutch.

Uncanny X-Men #183:

Summary: This issue opens with Colossus telling Kitty Pryde that he had fallen in love with somebody else during the X-Men's time in Marvel's Secret Wars. Colossus is sad and gloomy, while Kitty realizes that it was finally over between her and Colossus since she couldn't compete with the memory of a dead woman. Kitty goes to her room and cries about things, while Wolverine(in the role of Chris Claremont himself I'd assume) decides he was going to take Colossus out to a bar to straighten him out for being insensitive to Kitty's feelings... Yes, really. Nightcrawler tags along since he doesn't want to see Wolvie do anything he may regret later. Back at X-Mansion, Storm goes to Kitty's room to speak to her about her troubles with Colossus, and discovers that Kitty was leaving the X-Men for a while, since she needed to get away from Colossus to clear her head. Good riddance, says I! Meanwhile, Wolvie gets Colossus good and drunk before he realizes that Juggernaut was also hanging out at the bar. Not wanting to make a scene, Wolvie tries to get Colossus to head outside with him, but Colossus is a nasty drunk and shoves Wolvie, which ultimately leads to Colossus's drink being spilled on Juggy's head. Juggy responds by shoving Colossus through a wall and that's all it takes for the two to tear into each other. Wolvie holds Nightcrawler back because he wants Colossus to get his ass kicked as retribution for hurting Kitty's feelings. Eventually, Juggy drops the entire building on Colossus, taking the fight out of him. Juggy climbs out of the wreckage and spots Wolvie and Nightcrawler, threatening to beat them up as well. Wolvie tells Juggy that he didn't want any trouble, which leads to Juggy tossing Wolvie a roll of money(?) to give to the owner of the bar so it could be repaired(?!?) before heading off. Colossus climbs out of the rubble and asks why Wolvie didn't lend a hand in the fight, which leads to Wolvie telling Colossus that since Colossus didn't care about Kitty's feelings, Wolvie didn't care about Colossus's feelings... Or something equally idiotic. With that, Wolvie and Nightcrawler leave Colossus sitting in the rubble, ending this issue.

Thoughts: There you go. This issue in a nutshell details my problems with Chris Claremont's run. It completely revolved around Kitty. Even when she wasn't on panel, it was understood that everything was about her. She was to the X-Men what Poochie was to Itchy and Scratchy! When she wasn't on the page everybody was wondering, where's Kitty? How's Kitty doing? What's going to happen to Kitty?? When Kitty wasn't around, Claremont would simply substitute Rachel Summers into the Kitty role. Or Magik. Or Sage. Or to a lesser extent, Rogue. It definitely got tiresome... But enough about that. There was one saving grace in this issue and that would be the bar fight between Colossus and Juggernaut. This comic was drawn by John Romita Jr and he did a great job with the battle of the behemoths here. Watching Juggy tear the bar from the ground and drop it on Colossus is an awesome sight! And to give some credit to Claremont, he wrote a very good Juggernaut. So there was definitely some good in this issue, unfortunately you had to dig through the soap opera that is Kitty Pryde to get to it.

Score: 6 out of 10.Poor Juggy just can't catch a break when it comes to Colossus...

13 comments:

  1. http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=34844

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  2. Absolutely frigging awesome! Thanks for the link!

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  3. seriously loki looks so freaking badass in the trailer along with evrey thing else

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  4. Agreed! Everything about that trailer looks awesome... That's going to be a long wait...

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  5. Oh, and the team? I don't think I could have picked a better Avengers line-up then the one I saw.

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  6. Hot as she is, I could do without all the "Black Widow is an Avenger." Seems a bit token-y to me.

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  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  8. @ttrob
    black widow has been an avenger many times man she was one of the original ultimates in t he ultimate universe witch the movieverse takes much influence from.
    and plus really the other option is bloody antman/wasp NO!

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  9. I respect Black Widow's place in the Marvel universe, it just seems ridiculous to me to see shots of Iron Man, Cap, and Thor in action, then seeing BW (who far as we know, is a normal human) beat up some dude. As if she's somehow on their level.

    Don't get me wrong, the trailer brings the hype. I just think BW's publicity is disproportionate to where she fits (or should fit) in the larger scheme of things. She'd be better off as Nick Fury's sidekick or something instead of sharing the focus with all the heavy hitters IMO.

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  10. I see things more along Movieartman's lines here, TRobb. Out of the various Avengers women, I'd list Mockingbird and Wanda higher than BW on my personal favorites list, so I'm pretty happy about BW's inclusion. If not BW we'd get Wasp(who I've never been high on), Ms. Marvel(another character I'm not really a fan of), Spider-Woman(I guess she'd work, although that might confuse the non-hardcore fans who wonder who she is and what her realtionship to Spider-MAN is). But out of all the woman, I'm cool with BW. You knew there was going to be the token female, and they could have done a lot worse, at least that's how I see it.

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  11. @Trobb
    also and where getting this actress
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1130627/
    as maria hill who will probley be filling in Nick Fury's Assistant Role

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  12. I think you should take Rachel & Rogue out of the list. You really do forget about Psylocke , don't you? If anything she & Kitty are his crutches ( I mean I really like Bettsy, BUT DEAR LORD did he obsess over her! ) . Rachel did have believable flaws & was (before he jobbed her to diamond bitch) a bonafide badass ( Hey, DOFP, Askani, Mojoverse , Selene & she still SURVIVED ! If nothing , girl does really have traits from poppa & momma! The Last time she was well written was in Weinberg's Cable...). Rogue will always get a pass for offing Sunfire( Take that into your grave Shiro, mwahahahhahaaaaa!).

    So Colossus: Womaniser, ephebophile , whiny man & alcoholic... Guess Lobdell did actually a lot of good to the guy by offing him ( oh, that was cold , even from a snake like me...)

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  13. My main gripe with Rachel was how she was written by Claremont... She WAS Kitty in so many old issues of Uncanny when Kitty wasn't there. And there's nothing worse when he's writing the both of them! All she did in those early appearances was whine, attack stuff and cry... I've never really had any problem with Psylocke with the exception of that awful Ravanche(sp?) stuff in X-Men. But I'm more familiar with the beginning and middle of Claremont's X-run than the end, which is when Psylocke was around. As for Rogue, she just annoys me. I really have no other reason. :D She's just so damn angst ridden. It's like Claremont wanted you to pity her SO badly(her powers, her past, Mystique) that I rebelled against it and tended to hate her instead!

    Saidi? I'd never refute that. Colossus was HORRIBLY written for most of his career, the best thing he ever did was kill himself to cure the Legacy Virus because it made so much sense character-wise.

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