Thursday, September 22, 2011

X-Men: Schism #4

This has been a very interesting mini-series for me. On the one hand, there are parts that I'm REALLY enjoying. On the other hand the main villains are a bunch of 10-12 year olds who keep making fart jokes... So needless to say, I'm a bit conflicted... If we get away from the mini-Hellfire Club, this issue could be great. But with every fart joke I'm forced to read, I'll be deducting a 1/2 from the final score...

X-Men: Schism #4(of 5):

Summary: Lord Summers takes Idie back to Crazy Mutie Island(Utopia), while Wolverine, Dr. Nemesis and Madison Jeffries are still in San Fransisco trying to figure out how to stop the Sentinel the mini-Hellfire Club left there for them. This particular Sentinel is incredibly advanced and is able to pull metal into itself as it goes along, growing ever bigger and more powerful as it goes along. Jeffries uses his technopathy to try to communicate with the Sentinel but learns that it barely has any thought-process, all it wants to do is grow more powerful and eradicate mutants... After it disposes of Wolverine by blasting him into the Pacific, it turns it's sights onto Crazy Mutie Island and begins to march through the waters towards the island after knocking Nemesis and Jeffries out. Lord Summers tries to recall the X-Men he sent out to deal with the Sentinels that had been activated in various countries all over the world, but none of them are able to get back in time... In other words, Summers was caught with his pants down... Big time! Summers blasts the Sentinel from the island, but it continues to slowly march across the waters towards him. With no choice, Lord Summers is prepared to use the youngest mutants on Crazy Mutie Island(the ONLY mutants on Crazy Mutie Island!) to help him make his final stand against the Sentinel. Before he can lay down a plan, Wolverine swims to shore and tells Summers that he wouldn't allow Lord Summers to throw the lives of the kids away since they had little to no chance of standing up against the Sentinel. Summers disagrees and tells Wolvie that they weren't children, they were now X-Men, and as such they'd defend their crazy island to the last man. Wolvie storms inside Crazy Mutie Island while Lord Summers begins planning the defense of the island with the kids. Just before the Sentinel reaches the island, Wolverine returns and tells Summers that he had just armed 2,000 pounds of plastic explosives in his bedroom(as an aside, why did Wolvie have 2,000 lbs of plastic explosives in his bedroom?), and was planning on pushing the trigger to detonate the island once the Sentinel came ashore. With that, Wolvie tells the kids to evacuate the damned island as fast as they possibly could. Lord Summers tries to talk Wolvie out of blowing up his warped mutant kingdom, but Wolverine realizes what any rational X-Men fan figured out long ago, that the X-Men had lost their way and gone off the track somewhere along the line. Since he couldn't convince Wolvie to hand over the detonator, Lord Summers pulls out the Jean Grey card and tells Wolvie that Jean never loved him, that instead Wolvie scared her... Oooo! Wolvie counters that by telling Lord Summers that if Jean were alive now, she'd be more afraid of Lord Summers... Oooooo!!! And with that, it's on. With the Sentinel rapidly approaching, Wolvie and Lord Summers tear into each other as if they were the worst of enemies, with Wolvie trying to defend the detonator and Lord Summers trying desperately to get it away from Wolvie. This issue ends with the two mutants brawling on the beach just as the Sentinel arrives.

Thoughts: Now there we go!! THIS is what I want to read about in an X-Men comic book! No children making fart jokes, just a great story and an AWESOME battle scene. And the best part for me? Lord Summers and Wolvie pulling the Jean card at each other. That was some inspired dialogue so kudos to Jason Aaron for that. This issue also did a great job of framing exactly what's gone wrong with Cyclops these past few years for me... He went from being a strong leader who cared about his teammates, to a militant dictator who cared about his piece of land. I still find it kind of odd that it's Wolverine who is standing against Lord Summers here, as I'd expect Wolvie to want to stand and fight the Sentinel until the bitter end, but in a way Wolvie always did have a soft spot for the younger, female X-Men(Shadowcat, Jubilee, X-23, Idie), so I guess I can understand why he wanted the children to evacuate the island. This issue finally gives us Lord Summers and Wolvie coming to blows, and it should go without saying that I am FIRMLY on Wolvie's side here. Here's hoping Wolvie or that Sentinel can knock some sense into the head of Lord Summers.

Score: 9 1/2 out of 10.Oh SNAP!! You know it's on now!!!


  1. I think that brig Jean into de discussion, was mean, and a low hit for Ciclops, fortunately Wolvie give it back very well.. so I´m eith wolvie in this with no doubts

  2. The 8.5's and 9.5's aren't fooling anybody, you basically are still giving 9's to everything. Although, this has been a good week so far.

    I thought the same thing about Cyclops mentioning Jean. Quite a low blow but I liked Wolverine's response.

  3. aaah finally!! something of the x men that i recognise.... you know all this utopia rubbish and all is fine, but it is nice to see a glimpse of the old x men once more.

  4. HA! It's true, Jermox... So far this week has been fantastic, but I did expect that when I saw the books I was picking up. There were a good 10-14 or so comics that I'd say I was either really looking forward to or at least quite interested in reading. Now, the real test will be over the weekend as I start to read that second tier of comics, the ones I didn't have such high expectations for... And I see the three of us are in agreement over Scott throwing Jean in Wolvie's face. I mean that just came out of NO where! Just another in a long string of jackass moves Lord Summers has made as of late.

    Agreed, AVS. I'm hoping Utopia gets destroyed and we get the X-Men as I, and I'd think most fans want them, back to basics, not living in the open, and helping a world that fears and hates them. I've seriously had enough of Utopia!

  5. C" & Jean never loved you!..."
    W" suuuure, like she'd love the guy who macked on Paris Hilton when she wasn't even cold..."
    C" Well at least my son is not an unstable whackjob with a mohawk!"
    W " Still aiming low Bub? okay. I try to help him whenever I can & You ? You let Cable die instead of you. You must be in competition for father of the year too"
    C " It was for the good of the reich...errr I mean mutantkind. & You agreed to be on my side for the greater good!& seeing your liking for Jailbaits , you're not exactly a guy someone would trust with his kids!"
    W " You implying I'm a pedo?"
    C " Oh no... Necropedophiliac is more like it! You'd even rape a vacuum cleaner with a red wig on it."

    The other mutants contemplate the scene with consternation.
    Jubilee " errr...we're supposed to follow one of these guys? "
    Rogue " Ah think so shugah...."
    Gambit"I'll side with One-eye..."
    The Others (& the readers)"WHAAAAt ???"
    G" what? you've ever seen his ferrari? I could sell de pieces 3 mils each . De guy has the cavern of Ali Baba in his mansion, How'd you think he paid for his island?"
    " I too shall side with my faher!"
    " WTF,! Stryfe? you want to be an x-men too?"
    S " oh come now! you let the bucket head man join, Sabretooth & mystique can & The little punk can. Why would I not?"
    " Well you're a villain ..."
    S " I only unleashed a deadly plague at one time & raped my brother's wife! Magneto, here launched an EMP on the earth & is IN & besides
    my father , the Ceasar of mutants, deserves his own Brutus!"
    G " Don't off him before I get him to sign dis will though
    " & what's next? Sinister will be the science teacher"
    S" As a matter of fact, the good Dr Essex wanted me to hand his CV to my father "

    Meanwhile , Douchelops & Whoreverine are still at it.On top of the Utopia Island, Apocalypse is facepalming at the sheer stupidity of the sight. " And these will be the x-men leaders? My choice would be the weather goddess, even though I do wonder where she is?... Alright, saving these 2 will be like reattaching gangrenuous limbs to a healthy body, SHIP!"
    "yes master..."
    " Lauch the H-bomb , my faithful vessel & let us wipe this insulting embarassement out of memories. If anyone mentions it again , I the forever walker , shall handle their tongues personally..."
    An explosion later...
    "Fireworks in autumn? Really?"

    Oh & if you think what I wrote is ridiculous, please remember: OMD WAS WRITTEN!
    Pff, know what ? long live fanfics. I gotta ask how would a duel between Mesmero (with lot s of people to control) & Fantomex (in white smoking & EVA deprived) be made in an epic way? I have an idea...

    On an unrelated note, this is what I would have done with The Joker
    Wouldn't it be better?

  6. My favorite line of that whole thing? The it was good for the Reich line... That sums Lord Summers up perfectly for me. And the Stryfe stuff. It's funny 'cause it's true!

    Loved the Joker pic, I am a sucker for some 90's Joker...

  7. I too loved this issue. NO mini hellfire club, just old school x-men talking it out like men. My favorite line? "Scott you know I will stay by your side and fight this damn thing to the very end, but not with these children still here." Or something like that lol. I don't want to go longbox diving and look for it. I loved that line because it showed that wolverine isn't disagreeing just to disagree. Cyclops unfortunatley is NOT written as strongly and hasn't been in a long time in my opinion. He DOES seem to hold to this dicattor type mentality and its hard NOT to dislike and stand against him.
    -Alan davis back on a art was a REAL treat for us fans! I wish the sentinel had been a bit more menacing but i love the doctor's dialogue towards it either way.
    -My BIGGEST complaint stems from ALL fors of writing and storytelling )most recently civil war). I was on cap's side through civil war because well HE IS CAP! hands down my favorite character. But civil war had SUCH potential and still ended up being decent. However they bit the bullet with the writing of iron man. Just like with cyclops in this mini-series it is too easy to hate him. I WANT a comic or event where I am seriously weighing my options on which side i'm on and who i agree with. After all, we are all unique individuals that would react differently in any given situation. Wouldn't it be awesome to pick up a comic and say... "man I am torn!" A great story gets you involved and while i enjoy this series and civil war its be nice to see a book where we could say "well i can see why people agre with him, but i personally agree with..." and state exactly why. Again, I am just a passionate fan and i love reading the storyline regardless.

    -I've read a few other reviews on this book that said that the event is losing sight of its purpose. SOme believe that the x-men are supposed to face this crazy threat that is going to change the world blah blah blah. No, sorry. This event is about 2 friends that opinions have almost always differed; finally coming to a head. The Jean line is complete proof of this. I know the mini club will return in issue 5, and as for kade, and quire I hope they stick around for the 8 billion other x-titles coming out, but this event is about the last 6 pages of this comic book. Nothing else.

  8. Perfectly put, Cap. I think I agreed with everything you had to say here.

    The dialogue in this comic was just completely spot on. That line that you mentioned, I think Wolvie also mentioned that he'd done all of Scott's dirty work and never complained, and the Jean line also went to show just how complex/deep Wolvie and Scott's relationship is.

    Ahhhh Civil War... You make a good point on that story too. I also sided with Cap right from the start of that event, and could never really see/understand Iron Man's side. IM just came across as a facist asshole who'd happily sell out his friends for some power. I know that's NOT what IM was fighting for, but that's how it seemed to me as a fan of both Cap and IM. Civil War actually caused me to stop reading IM comics for about 3-4 years before I started up again recently. But yeah, I loved Civil War up until like issue 5 or 6 which is when it dawned on me, there's NO way this story can end favorably for Cap... Then add the ending, which was completely asinine, and yeah, that series really fell apart towards the end after such promise.

    I don't see how Aaron's lost sight of the purpose of this mini... The purpose, to my knowledge, was to split the X-Men into two different factions, Wolvie's side and Scott's side. This issue perfectly moved that forward. After this issue, you can see why those two characters can't work together any more.