By the end of tonight, I will have managed to review 26(!) of the 28(!!) comic books I picked up last Wednesday. If I was caught up with Fables or Hellblazer(which I started reading tonight), I would have reviewed THEM too! Why? Because that's how I roll. Yeah. Anyway, here's the 24th review I've posted this week... God am I tired...
Uncanny X-Men #543(Fear Itself tie-in):
Summary: Being good and pissed off due to the Serpent stealing his avatar, Cyttorak takes away Serpent-possessed Juggernaut's Juggernaut powers and gives them to Colossus, making Colossus into Jugger-Colossus and Juggernaut into... um, Serpent-possessed Cain Marko. Jugger-Colossus is teleported to the location of the now suddenly bald Serpent-possessed Cain Marko and the two powerhouses battle each other... Seriously, why is Serpent-possessed Cain Marko bald here? I know it probably shouldn't be a big deal and all, but it's weird little things like that that bug me... While the two big guys are fighting each other, Emma Frost wakes up and decides to smother Our Savior Hope with a pillow... You know, had Emma succeeded and killed Our Savior Hope here she'd have automatically become my 5th favorite comic book character. Unfortunately for me, Namor wanders into the hospital room, makes out with Emma and leaves, telling her that if she was HIS woman she'd be getting a whole lot more of his fish-lovin'. Well okay then. Meanwhile, the Serpent teleports Serpent-possessed Cain Marko away from the battle with Jugger-Colossus and Jugger-Colossus acts all intense and slightly evil due to Cyttorak's influence on him. Shadowcat breaks up with Jugger-Colossus because he didn't let his sister(that would be Magik), who has already been through hell, died and returned to life, become Cyttorak's new Juggernaut, because I guess in Shadowcat's mind Magik's life didn't suck enough... And people wonder why I hate Shadowcat so much... Shadowcat leaves and Jugger-Colossus takes off his helmet revealing that much like Serpent-possessed Cain Marko, he was suddenly and inexplicably bald too(!?!)... So I guess Cyttorak hates hair then? That is just so damn weird... From there, Lord Summers heads to the mayor of San Fransisco's office and threatens to kill her in several different ways since she considered letting Crazy Mutie Island(Utopia) get destroyed in order to save San Fran during Serpent-possessed Juggernaut's earlier rampage. HA! I can't even add anything to that... He threatened to MURDER a duly-elected government official for THINKING about(not ordering), destroying Crazy Mutie Island. What a hero! Lord Summers' posturing(mercifully) ends this issue.
Thoughts: You know, I didn't like this comic much, but it did give me a few laughs. Between the sudden and inexplicable baldness of several characters, to Emma Frost trying to kill somebody WITH A PILLOW, to me being completely validated in my hatred of certain characters(I'm looking at YOU, Lord Summers and Shadowcat), this comic made me laugh. Now I don't know if Kieron Gillen intended this to be a comedy issue, but regardless, it WAS funny(to me at least). I don't think there's much more for me to say that I didn't say in the summary, so I think I'll move on to the next review.
Score: 5 1/2 out of 10.I don't understand... Why is everybody mysteriously losing their hair in this series?!?