Monday, June 6, 2011

The Jason Todd Chronicles #1: Batman #357.

Hey gents and gentettes, new feature time... Kind of/sort of... With the impending end of the DCU NEW BEGINNING!!! for the DCU, and with me just ordering a mess of old Batman comics, I figured now would be as good a time as any to do a few Retro type posts on the old blog... All of the Bat-comics I snagged feature Jason Todd, the second Robin. Jason is one of those characters who you either love or hate. There's no real middle ground. I happen to be on the “love” side of that argument, which you probably figured out by the fact that I already stated that I recently picked up a mess of old Batman comics featuring Jason... Hmm... I seem to be rambling again... That usually means I should start wrapping this introduction up... Before I do, two things... The first thing is that I won't be giving these old Batman comics scores. Since they all contain Jason, and they're all old, I figure I'm going to like them, so scoring them just doesn't make sense. If I don't like them, trust me, you'll know from the tone of the post... As for the second thing... Huh, how about that! I completely forgot! Oh well. If I remember what it is I'll just delete all of this and replace it with whatever the second thing was. Okay! Let's get this roving carnival of horror started!!!

Batman #357(March 1983):

Yes, that's right, Jason Todd/Robin/Fake Nightwing/Red Hood/Fake Batman/Gatman/Hair-Dye Man/I think that's all of his nicknames, first appeared in a comic simply titled, “Squid”... I guess it could have been worse. His first appearance could have been in a comic titled, “Cockroach” or “Rat-Bastard” or something similar.Hey, Batman must read my blog!

This one gets stared in earnest with Bats discovering that the deadly, dangerous, incredibly dumb sounding former spy known simply as “The Squid” was making a move to take over Gotham's underworld since Tony Falco(Gotham's former top mob boss) was heading to prison. Naturally Bats tells his BFF Commissioner Gordon this grim news.I guess Bats was still perfecting his whole, “Sneak out the window without Gordon seeing it” act...

Hey, check it out, on the same page we get the first appearance of Killer Croc AND Jason Todd! Cool!Croc is the one in the trench coat. Jason is the kid flipping around on the trapeze. X is the guy typing this. You are the person reading it.

Yes, THIS is the Squid... Not only does he sound like an idiot, he looks like one too! Yeah, if I'M a criminal in Gotham, I'm not taking orders from some goof in purple checkered pants... “Yes I'm the Sqwid, and I weally, WEALLY suck!”

Bats figures that the Squid would try to kidnap and then kill Tony Falco as he left the courthouse(don't ask me how Bats figured the Squid was going to kidnap Falco as opposed to just, oh, I don't know, sniper Falco as he exited the courthouse), so Bats sneaks into the courthouse with the help of a female reporter and switches places with Falco.Um, as the world's greatest detective, you'd think Bats could tell the difference between a man and a woman, but apparently not...

So the Squid kidnaps Bats masquerading as Falco, but Bats sucks as an actor or something and Squid knows it was Bats the whole time. With his cover blown, Bats tears off his fake Falco costume and face, revealing himself, in FULL Batman attire, cape, cowl and all! Now THAT is pretty impressive! “Riiiiiip!” I want to know how he hid those pointy ears under the fake Falco mask!

The Squid sends his henchmen after Bats, and for once, the goons don't attack Bats black ninja style, but attack en mass, beating Bats down. Instead of shooting Bats in the head, unmasking him or something equally smart, the Squid instead instructs his men to toss Bats into a large aquarium containing, you guessed it, a giant squid!! Oh the humanity!!! Bats will NEVER escape THIS deathtrap! That Squid is a tricky customer indeed!Will Batman be able to escape the duel threat of the Squid and his pet squid? Will Bats end up fish food?! Will Jason Todd appear in more than two goddamn panels?!? Tune in next time, same Bat time, same Bat... um, blog.

Final Thoughts: So Jason Todd appeared in a grand total of TWO panels!!! And he didn't speak ONCE! GAH!!!! That means I just spent a mess of money on a comic starring THE SQUID!!!!! I suddenly feel rather ill... Here's hoping Detective Comics #524 has Jason... Oh, I don't know, saying and/or doing SOMETHING!!!What the hell, I might as well post the other panel Jason appeared in too...


  1. sups man
    oh good news they are still releaseing batwoman YES
    check this
    im interested in that seciond series if for nothing else than seeing Kenneth Rocafort draw starfire :)

  2. do you saw that jason todd and Roy harper (whit a cap) are teaming up in the new jason todd and the outlaws

    i am looking for that comic soon

    and i hope they fix the Roy Harper stuff because he really suck's in his actual status with the titans

  3. Lmao @ those nicknames... Gatman is still my favorite. And Rat-Bastard made me laugh, for various reasons. And I'm posting comments as I read the post, in case they seem to jump around.

    "Croc is the one in the trench coat. Jason is the kid flipping around on the trapeze. X is the guy typing this. You are the person reading it... Look again, now I'm holding two tickets to that thing your girlfriend likes..."

    Why does the Squid look like Cotton Hill mixed with Bill, Clark Peters and Dooley? Also, Bats calling that chick MR. Ortega cracks me up. Maybe Bats can tell a bad sex change when he see's one. Also hilarious is the fact Batman is apparently taking disguise tips from Hawkeye. But the FUNNIEST thing, is you spending 24 bucks on THE SQUID! BWAHAHAHAHA. Dear God that's awesome.

    Damian - Looks like they fixed Roy seems he has both arms now, I'm just hoping he still has Lian... also I want them to add Cheshire to that team.

  4. So they're still gonna get that Batwoman comic out I see? Here's hoping it actually DOES happen!

    I saw that, Damian, and to say I'm excited for that is a HUGE understatement! Roy with two arms, being led by Jason Todd, written by longtime X-scribe Scott Lobdell? That's like my fantasy line-up right there! Just bring Lian back with Roy and I'm on cloud 9!

    Rat-Bastard is about the worst nickname I can possibly think up! :P

    "Look again, now I'm holding two tickets to that thing your girlfriend likes..." WHAT?!?

    Yes, I blew a mess of money on a comic starring the Squid... BUT, at least I can always claim that I have the first appearance of Jason Todd. Can YOU say the samn, JT! :P The MR. Ortega line cracked me up as well! I mean she was obviously a woman, and was written as one, so I have no idea why that accident made print! And how did Bats hide that big ass cape under a form fitting suit?!?

  5. Lol that name makes me mark out... and also reminds me of the SCSA coined nickname of C.L.B.

    "Look again, now I'm holding two tickets to that thing your girlfriend likes..." Oh God X... where have you been?

    "Can YOU say the samn, JT!" Sure, I can say samn but it doesn't MEAN anything. :P Haha, the best part is they put EMPHASIS on the Mr. and it was like.. what the hell? As for that suit, Batman's one hell of a detective... I guess that..helps?

  6. Ah! There's something I need to try to work into a future Jason Todd post!

    Oh come on, now I'm supposed to remember EVERY commercial I've ever watched!? Hell, I'm lucky if I can remember which comics I read the night before!

    Ugh, the grammar police strike again... >:| Exactly! If they hadn't emphsized "Mr" I my not have even noticed it... It's weird because the pages leading up to that meeting the reporter is a woman, and every scene after that she's a woman, so I don't know what the deal there was!

    HA! When all else fails, just say that Batman is a detective! "Hey, how did Bats fit his entire Batman costume under a form-fitting suit?!" "He's the world's greatest detective, dumb-ass, THAT'S how he did it!" :D

  7. Lol sounds more like a name for the Mad Hatter.

    BOOOOO! That commercial was a huge thing that EVERYONE talked about. It's not like it was a random ass Target commercial.

    Lol I'm still going with the sex-change thing and Batman is just an asshole who put her on blast.

    "Hey, how did Bats fit his entire Batman costume under a form-fitting suit?!" "He's the world's greatest detective, dumb-ass, THAT'S how he did it!" The dumb-ass is what makes it even MORE valid. Also, tell me that doesn't answer everything!

  8. Mmmm, perfect! Now when I see Hatter in my next Batman comic, I'll be sure to use that one!


    HA! That would have been a cutting edge opperation back in the early 80's, so maybe that's why Bats was so confused!

    No, I agree, it DOES answer everything, and now when ever Bats does something blatantly impossible, THAT'S the excuse I'm going to use!