Green Lantern: New Guardians #5:
Summary: The New Guardians reach the solar system that appeared out of the blue and split up to search it. Somehow Kyle gets stuck with that annoying-ass orange construct thing... Anyway, each world is a replica of another world(Tamaran, Okaara, etc) and they are all watched over by somebody named Invictus. It turns out Invictus is some old foe of Larfleeze(of course... because the DCU revolves around Larfleeze...), and upon seeing that damned orange construct, Invictus is summoned to deal with the New Guardians.
Thoughts: That could have been WAY worse! First things first, the number one rule concerning this series is that anytime Larfleeze appears on a page that's an automatic -10. Since Larfleeze only appeared on one page, that's a -10 right off the bat. -2 for Kyle(the only character in this series worth anything) getting stuck with that childish Glomulus thing. But I'll give a +4 for Arkillo yelling at Saint Walker, who I hate. Yes, I hate A LOT of characters in this comic... Another -3 for Glomulus sticking his(her? it's?) tongue out at Kyle... Seriously, is this comic being written for the 4-6 year old age group? I'll give a +2 for Atrocitus shoving Bleez's head into the ocean of blood because, you guessed it, I hate Bleez and want her to drown! -1 for every time Saint Walker said, “All will be well”. As well as a -2 for every time that annoying Indigo Lantern spoke in Jackass-ese. “Nok” my ass... If I was feeling in a worse mood I'd toss another negative score in for the Larfleeze statue, but I'm a nice guy, so I won't. I'll give a +2 for Invictus hating Larfleeze, thus showing he has good taste. But I'm going to have to give a -4 for this story revolving around Larfleeze in the first place! Now do you see how totally arbitrary these numbers are? With that taken care of, it's time for me to do some fancy mathematics and come up with a final score of......
Score: -14 out of 10. Oddly enough, a -14 ISN'T that bad... Trust me, it could have been WAAAAAY worse!
I wish somebody would rip Saint Walker's tongue out...
Wow, I went to your labels to find the one saying "Brightest Day Rules?" not realizing that it was just the previous post.
ReplyDelete"As well as a -2 for every time that annoying Indigo Lantern spoke in Jackass-ese. “Nok” my ass..." Lmao... that was the funniest thing I've read all day. Also the thing about Invictus having good taste was awesome. I love these BDRules, I feel like I should steal them for the next issue of Justice League :P You should do them for Nightwing too.
ReplyDeleteI should probably fix that one day, Jermox... Basically the last few issues of Brightest Day were scored with Brightest Day rules, back before it had a label of it's own!
ReplyDelete"that was the funniest thing I've read all day." Your day must have been sad, JT... :P And I am SO glad you caught onto to the Invictus/taste line! You da man! Go for it with the JL book! We both know it's gonna suck anyway! As for Nightwing, I probably should, but, like a fool, I keep holding out hope there...
Yeah, you are a fool, I agree completely. And I just sat around reading this blog, pre-JT, and it was pretty sad. :P I actually played WWE 12 all day... so yeah, it WAS pretty sad lol.
ReplyDeleteSoul Calibur V all day long for me baby!! :D I will say one bad thing about this game though... Usually each character has an ending, giving you an incentive to play through the game with every character. But this game only has ONE story... Where you play as only THREE character. Lame. You can create 50 fighters though, which is pretty cool. I'll prob do that and then beat up on the CPU to raise my level until that gets boring.
ReplyDeleteWell that's lame, I know they had some cool people in the last one like Vader and Starkiller too, anyone cool in this one or just the original cast? (Man this is off subject :P)
ReplyDeleteThe story in this game actually takes place like 17 years after SC IV, so there are a lot of new characters(basically different characters with the style of a past character). The bonus character in this game is guy from the Assassin's Creed games, which is cool 'cause my sister loved that series. But he's the only bonus. You can create a fighter using Devil Jin's moves from Tekken, so I guess that makes Devil Jin kind of in the game.
ReplyDeleteGoing back to the new characters though, the fact that there's no endings in Arcade means you really learn nothing about the characters, which def hurts my enjoyment for it. Since I know nothing about most of these newbies, why should I care about them? I mean I'm a huge fan of Siegfried because of the way the series's story advanced. He'd always be one of the first characters I'd beat the game with just to see how his ending played out. Now it's like, why bother playing as a character like Mitsurugi, who I'm good with but don't really care for, when I can simply give his moves to a CAS instead? The direction the developer went with this game was very strange...
That's pretty lame, seems like they rushed it out as more of a multiplayer game than a single player experience... That really sucks though because I enjoyed characters like Kilik and Maxi so the fact they've aged everyone and brought in new characters is a kick in the fan.
ReplyDeleteRushed seems to be the perfect word for this game... I mean I'm enjoying it and all, but it seems kind of incomplete... Like there just aren't enough modes.
ReplyDeleteActually Kilik AND Maxi are BOTH in the game! Kilik fights TOTALLY different though, as he can fight with any weapon, not just the staff. That kind of sucks though as it's random before every fight, so you never know what he may end up wielding. Maxi still has the same weapons and has aged oddly well considering he's 17 years older...
Well that really sucks, especially since it's random weapons like you said, I mean he's used that bo staff for four games, why change it now?! And I like that Maxi is pretty much unchanged but it makes me think he's some weird, ageless wizard.
ReplyDeleteNo, I'M the weird, ageless wizard, but I get what you're saying. :P
ReplyDelete