Uncanny X-Force #12 & X-Men: Schism #2

Two more X-titles before I call it a night. First up is Uncanny X-Force, who have found themselves stranded in the awesomeness that is the Age of Apocalypse, while the second book is the second issue of the X-Men: Schism event. Both could potentially be great reads. Or at least that's what I'm hoping...

Uncanny X-Force #12:

Summary: We kick things off with AOA Jean and Wolverine sharing a nice quiet moment. Even though every instinct in Wolverine's is screaming at him to lay a kiss on Jean, he's hesitant since he has a girlfriend back at home... Although in all honesty, I'm of the mindset of what happens in dystopian alternate dimensions stays in dystopian alternate dimensions... Anyway, while Wolvie is hesitant to make a move, Jean, who is missing her Wolverine(who is believed to be dead), plants a kiss on Wolvie before pulling away. Before things can go any further, a giant Sentinel arrives on the scene and attempts to attack the two mutants. Jean makes quick work of it before reporting what happened back to the leader of the AOA X-Men, Magneto. The AOA X-Men and X-Force have a conference and decide that there were two things that needed to be done. The first was that a life seed was needed by both teams, since life seeds were the antithesis of Apocalypse(or something) and could eliminate Apocalypse's corruption on someone(I guess...). The second thing is to rescue Gateway from the massive prison he was being held in on ship high above New York City. The teams decide to split into two factions, and head to their rooms to prepare themselves for their mission. Fantomex corners Psylocke, who still doesn't want to talk to him due to him murdering Kid Apocalypse. Fantomex still claims that he did the right thing, which Psylocke refuses to believe. Fantomex then claims that Psylocke never really loved Archangel, that all she really loved about Warren was the fact that he needed her(!)... Oh. It's gonna be on now! Sure enough, Psylocke punches Fantomex straight in the face, which Fantomex responds to by accusing Psylocke of having feelings for him(!). Fantomex then kisses Psylocke, who doesn't immediately pull away. Realizing what was happening, Psylocke DOES pull away, telling Fantomex that no matter what may be happening between the two of them, she wouldn't give up on Warren. The teams then split up, with Fantomex taking a few AOA X-Men after the life seed(s), while Magneto takes the rest of the AOA X-Men and X-Force to the prison Gateway was being held at. The AOA X-Men and X-Force enter the prison with no difficulty and manage to get pretty far in before they are ambushed by the Dark Legion, who are a bunch of extremely powerful, warped dopplegangers of characters from the regular 616 Marvel Universe. Realizing they were overpowered, the AOA X-Men and X-Force make a break for it, with Wolverine following Gateway's scent to a room where they find AOA Wolverine, dressed like Apocalypse(!). AOA Wolvie blasts Kirika, his daughter from the Age of Apocalypse, which ends this issue.

Thoughts: Well there sure was a lot going on in that comic, wasn't there? The perfect tone was set in this issue right from the beginning, with Rick Remender giving me exactly what I wanted, a nice long scene between AOA Jean and Wolvie. Add the kiss between AOA Jean and Wolvie, and yeah, that scene was about as perfect as I'd have wanted it to be. From there we get a meeting between Wolvie and his AOA daughter, Kirika, who just happens to be the offspring of Mariko, the other love of Wolvie's life. Much like the scenes between Jean and Wolvie, Remender did a masterful job dialogging the scenes between Wolvie and Kirika. On top of that, we got a VERY heated conversation between Psylocke and Fantomex, which ended in a passionate kiss. I've got to say, I didn't see that coming! Fantomex did raise some interesting points about the relationship between Psylocke and Archangel, and you've got to think that there's going to be one hell of a reckoning between Warren and Fantomex when X-Force inevitably returns to their home dimension. I have to admit, I enjoyed this issue thoroughly, and will definitely be looking forward to the next issue.

Score: 9 out of 10.Now THAT is one sweet haymaker!


X-Men: Schism #2(of 5):

Summary: The world over, nations are pulling their old Sentinels out of mothballs as a show of force to mutantkind in light of Quintin Quire's actions last issue. Unfortunately, 3/4 of the Sentinels were defective and are basically running amok, leading to the X-Men and Avengers being forced to try to deal with the out of control robots. On Crazy Mutie Island(Utopia), classes have been canceled and Wolverine is in an especially foul mood. Wolvie heads into the control room where Emma Frost and Lord Summers are staying apprised of the situation around the world, and demands to be deployed somewhere so he could work out his frustrations. Lord Summers denies Wolvie's request, since he wanted to keep Wolvie close to home in case any rogue Sentinels made their way to Crazy Mutie Island. It's at that moment Quintin Quire enters the room and requests sanctuary on Crazy Mutie Island. Needless to say, Wolvie isn't having that, as he wants the X-Men to surrender Quire over to Steve Rogers and the Avengers since Quire started this whole mess. Lord Summers refuses, stating that Quire would stay on Crazy Mutie Island where he'd be tried by a jury of his peers. Before the disagreement between Wolvie and Lord Summers can get anymore hostile, Steve Rogers calls the X-Men, telling them that the Avengers were doing what they could to quell the anti-mutant hysteria across the globe, and that he appreciated Lord Summers restraint in the face of such racism. Steve then asks if the X-Men had been able to get a fix on where Quire had run off to, and Lord Summers says no... That bastard! He lied to Steve Rogers!! Once Lord Summers is off the line with Steve, a disgusted Wolvie throws Quire at Lord Summers and decides that he needed some time away from Crazy Mutie Island. Lord Summers has Quire sent away, and Emma tells Lord Summers that San Fransisco was moving up the opening of their new Museum of Mutant History(what in the blue hell is THAT?!) to that night. Emma tells Lord Summers that she wanted to go, which causes Lord Summers to scoff, at least until he realizes that the grand opening would be televised and that he should send some of his heavy hitters to the museum just in case... From there, Kade Kilgore, the new Black King of the Hellfire Club, begins to put the next phase of his plan against mutantkind into action by first having a bunch of his fellow prepubescent friends acquire a Badoon Brain Slug(by killing some aliens in a painfully stupid scene), before heading to the grand opening of the mutant museum with his friends and several of the Hellfire Club's best soldiers to crash the party.

Thoughts: Okay. Here's the thing. The scene with the children and the aliens was SO stupid that it totally took me out of this story once it happened. I mean I was enjoying this comic thoroughly, from Wolvie's conversations with some of the students, to the Sentinels going crazy, to Wolvie's confrontation with Lord Summers, to Quire's arrival, it was all VERY good! And then some little 12 year old girl with pigtails killed three heavily armed aliens... I mean come on... That was absolutely horrible. There's no way to even defend that scene. I was fine with Kade becoming the Black King of the Hellfire Club last issue because it was obvious that he was a very evil, manipulative child. A one of a kind threat that's intriguing because of his age. But the introduction of his little friends? That was a step past dumb, into asinine territory. So yeah, the introduction of Kade's prepubescent army of terror totally destroyed my enjoyment of what was, up to that point, a very good comic book. We still don't know exactly what's going to cause the Schism between Lord Summers and Wolvie, but there are a few clues popping up. Wolvie seems more willing to work with/cooperate with humans, while Lord Summers seems content to live on Crazy Mutie Island like a power-mad hermit. Obviously next issue is the big one, because whatever happens at that museum is going to almost definitely set the stage for the final couple of issues of this series, so I'll definitely be looking forward to that. But this issue? It should have been SO much better...

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.He lied right to Steve Rogers' face... What a bastard...