Quick Hits: 3/25/11

Batman: The Dark Knight #2:

Summary: Still searching for missing socialite Dawn Golden, Batman's(Bruce Wayne this time around) search brings him to the Penguin's headquarters, where he finds an amulet that belonged to Dawn. Penguin sics his goons on Bats, but we all know how well that's going to work out. Needless to say, Bats easily dispatches of the goons and chases after Penguin, who decides to run away... Um yeah, I don't see Penguin winning THAT race... While that epic race is going on, Killer Croc breaks out of police custody and begins to make his way to the Penguin's base. Bats catches up to Penguin and demands to know what he did with Dawn, while Penguin claims he knows nothing. Not believing the fowl villain(heh heh), Bats breaks Penguin's arm and leg(!!), while Alfred listens in shock from the Batcave. By this point Croc arrives on the scene and knocks the feral Batman unconscious before he can do any more damage to Penguin. The two villains take Bats to a warehouse, tie him to a chair and wire him to some explosives, because villains can't resist a good deathtrap... Eventually Bats wakes up and sees a TV sitting in front of him, with Penguin on it(from the hospital). Penguin taunts Bats a bit before he switches the video feed to Dawn, who is being tortured elsewhere. Bats becomes infuriated and Penguin tells him that the explosives were wired to Batman's heart rate, meaning if he became too upset, he'd explode. Besides that, some girl steals the Batmobile, Ragman eats a hobo and it appears the reason Bats flipped out on Penguin was because he was under the influence of Dawn's amulet. Oh, and Etrigan was there too.

Thoughts: Man did a lot happen in this issue... First off, I was hard pressed to remember what the hell happened in the last issue since it came out MONTHS ago! Once I started reading though, I found myself enjoying the story, even though it did contain my second most hated villain of all time, Penguin. So Penguin did have Dawn all along, even though we have no idea why. We also don't know why Dawn's amulet drove Bats loco, although I'm guessing that's why Jason Blood summoned Etrigan... Either that or because Ragman was on a hobo-eating rampage... To be honest, after reading this comic, if I was forced to read only one Batman book a month, this would EASILY be the one I choose. It wasn't perfect, but it was quite engaging, something all of the other Batman books currently are not.

Score: 7 1/2 out of 10.If Bats would have broken Penguin's neck, I would have given this comic a perfect score!


Batman Incorporated #4:

Summary: A lot of this issue dealt in flashbacks to the early crimefighting days of Batman(Bruce Wayne). Basically, Kathy Kane was a bored woman with a lot of time and money on her hands, and she decided to become the first Batwoman. She eventually hooks up with Batman, which annoys Robin(Dick Grayson) to no end. The two get quite serious before Kathy breaks it off and leaves a heartbroken Bruce behind. We learn that Kathy was apparently the daughter of “an unrepentant Nazi master criminal”(according to Grant Morrison at least), and that her evil Nazi father wanted her to marry Bruce, and then reveal that she was the daughter of “an unrepentant Nazi master criminal”. Kathy didn't want Bruce to learn this bizarre fact, which is why she breaks it off with him. Back in the present, Batman and Gaucho are being forced to fight to the death or else El Sombrero(that's right, the dreaded Hat!!!) drowns a few orphans. Bats and Gaucho do indeed fight, until Bats is able to bypass Sombrero's machinery and shut down his deathtrap. Gaucho's assistant Scorpiana ditches Sombrero, leaving him to the tender mercies of Bats and Gaucho. The current version of Batwoman is also in this issue, battling a woman who was pretending to be Kathy Kane. Oh, and for some reason there's a guy with smoke for a cape hanging out around penguins...

Thoughts: Grant Morrison literally makes my head hurt sometimes... What the HELL was the deal with the guy with the smoky cape?!? It just made no sense!!! Anyway, I actually enjoyed the flashback stuff(probably because most of it didn't come from the mind of Crazy Grant), while the stuff set in the present was as insane and incomprehensible as you'd expect a comic written by Morrison to be...

Score: 5 out of 10.Too bad this entire issue didn't just stick with flashbacks...


Namor #8:

Summary: Namor, Dr. Doom, Loa and some Atlantian woman are trying to find a way out of Hell. Doom discovers the way out, and tells Namor that if he survives the coming battle, Namor would owe Doom. With that Doom leaves and a mess of dead Atlantian kings and misfits attack Namor and the two women. Namor tells Loa to watch the Atlantian woman(who was messed up last issue by some angry Atlantian kings), while he deals with the demons. The demons beat the hell out of Namor, while the Atlantian woman has a conversation with some Atlantian kings who weren't that angry with Namor... Man, how many Atlantian kings inhabit Hell?! The good(ish) Atlantian kings restore the Atlantian woman's mind, which leads to her blasting the evil Atlantian demons with magic, buying Namor the time to get the three of them out of Hell. Now free from Hell, Namor yells at Cyclops and then sleeps with the Atlantian woman... In a bed of leaves... Under the sea......... And yeah, that's about it...

Thoughts: Umm... How am I even supposed to respond to that?! All I'm going to say is that I'll be dropping this series right after the Namor annual. By this point I don't think there's ANYTHING that can change that. This series is simply a car wreck.

Score: 3 1/2 out of 10.I don't blame Doom for walking out of this comic...