Batman #696, Batman and Robin #8 & # 9.

It's Batman night ladies and gents! I've got a trio of Bat-books to go over, so let's get down to business.

Batman #696: Writer/Pencils: Tony Daniel.

We begin things here with Robin finding Batman laid out on a beach in Gotham. How did Bats wind up in such a sorry state? Flashback time!!! Last issue the two worst villains in the DCU not named Toyman, the Penguin and the Mad Hatter, had managed to trap Batman in one of Black Mask's mind dominating masks, which coupled with the Mad Hatter's influence have allowed Penguin to send Batman after his various enemies, including the new Black Mask. From there, Batman attacks the crooked mayor of Gotham, who had the antidote to Black Mask's mind altering masks, before heading to Catwoman and that annoying Kitrina girl. Bats takes out Catwoman and takes the annoying girl along with him to Devil's Square, where Black Mask had taken up residence, since she knew where Mask was hiding out. Bats makes his way to Black Mask's inner den, and winds up running into Mask, Fright and Strange. Mask attacks Bats with a sword and beats him about the room. After knocking Bats down, Mask proceeds to taunt him('cause that's what villains do!), before Batman reveals that he is getting his mental faculties back, at which time he punches Mask to the ground. Mask responds by pulling a gun and shooting Bats, knocking him out the window, where he is eventually found by Robin at the beginning of this issue. This issue ends with Bats crawling out of his bed in the Cave telling Oracle, who was watching over him that he had figured out the identity of Black Mask.

Well, I'm not going to say I told you so yet, but if you check out my review for Batman #695, you'll see what I'm getting at. Every single sign in this issue pointed to Black Mask being Hush, from the use of the gun, to the Aristotle quote, to Fright conveniently telling Batman to “Hush up.” after he speaks to Mask. Now, these all could be red herrings trying to get us to look in the wrong direction, but if Black Mask ISN'T Hush, then whoever Mask is, he's definitely trying to frame Hush. But enough about that, let's get back to the story here. Once again the Dick Grayson Batman was made to look completely pathetic, being manipulated by Penguin and Mad Hatter, which is just plain sad... When Penguin is able to mind control you with relative ease, maybe it's time to hang up the cape and cowl... Being a fan of Dick Grayson, I have to say, this storyline has been very lackluster...

Score: 6 out of 10.A quote from Aristotle? "Hush up."? Hmmm...

Batman and Robin #8: Writer: Grant Morrison. Artist: Cameron Stewart.

This issue begins with “Batman” rising from a Lazarus Pit hidden in England, under the watchful eye of Batman(Dick Grayson), Batwoman, Knight and Squire. “Batman” emerges from the Pit and tries to attack Dick, but Dick puts him down with an electric shock. From there we get a flashback from “Batman” learning he was one of the Bruce Wayne clones created by Darkseid during Final Crisis. Fake Batman attacks all of the heroes present and attempts to kill them, which lead to Dick to believe that this Batman wasn't the real one(No, really?!?), since Bruce Wayne would never try to kill. While fighting, some c-list British villain blows up the mine, burying the heroes and killing Batwoman. Fake Batman uses the explosion to steal Dick's Batplane and make good his getaway. Back at Wayne Tower, Damien is returned to Alfred after getting his spine fixed, and the two discover that Dick had taken “Batman's” corpse and left with it. This issue ends with Fake Batman gaining access to Wayne Tower and confronting the wheelchair bound Damian.

You know, I was expecting a lot worse here. Granted, this comic was definitely not a masterpiece by anybodies standards, but it was readable, which is better then most of Grant Morrison's Batman comics. So we learn this issue that Fake Batman was one of the Bruce Wayne clones created by Darkseid, which is all fine and dandy, except for the fact that it makes absolutely no sense... Why would Darkseid fake Batman's death, replace him with a dead clone and send him into the past as opposed to simply killing him? Umm, I didn't know Darkseid, the ruler of Apokolips, and one of the most evil creatures in the universe, was adverse to killing, but apparently I was wrong... I might as well not say anything else about this issue(such as Batwoman's death and the Fake Batman/Damian confrontation), since I'll have plenty to say about that during the review for Batman and Robin #9, which is next.

Score: 7 out of 10.Just when I thought Final Crisis couldn't get any worse...

Batman and Robin #9: Writer: Grant Morrison. Artist: Cameron Stewart.

While Batman, Knight and Squire toss Batwoman's corpse into that Lazarus Pit from last issue, Fake Batman prepares to do the world a great service by killing Damian. Before Fake Batman can complete the act, Alfred halts him by trapping his cape in a door... Huh, that's pretty sad... Damian throws his wheelchair at Fake Batman and knocks him down... You know, considering Fake Batman is a full-grown clone of Bruce Wayne, and Damian is like 10, I'm a bit at a loss to explain how Damian was able to throw the wheelchair with enough force to knock down Fake Bats... While wearing a neck brace... Damian runs through Wayne Tower and sets up a trap, blowing Fake Bats up. In the meantime, Batwoman emerges from the Pit fully healed, and Batman and Batwoman decide to return to Gotham while Knight and Squire go after the villain who blew up the coal mine they were in. Fake Batman walks out of the flames from the explosion and grabs Damian around the neck, but instead of simply breaking Damian's neck(as I was pleading for him to do)Fake Bats takes the elevator to the roof and throws Damian off. Before Damian can become street pizza, Batman swings over and catches the brat, placing him safely on a nearby rooftop. Batman and Batwoman attack Fake Bats and defeat the decaying creature. Back in England, Knight and Squire defeat the c-list villain who blew up the mine, and this issue ends with Dick realizing that since Fake Batman wasn't Bruce Wayne, the real Bruce Wayne has to be somewhere...

Eh, this issue was OK... Fake Batman's speech was pretty annoying(he spoke like a mentally deficient Bizarro), as was the fact that he didn't just snap Damian's neck when he had the opportunity, but if I was comparing this storyarc to the prior issues of this series, I have to say, this story was heads and shoulders better then the Pyg and Red Hood stories. That doesn't mean this comic/storyline was exceptionally good, but I can say that it was at least better then the past 7 issues or so.

Score: 6 1/2 out of 10.You know, if I were Batman, I can guarantee you that no 10 year old would be able to knock me over with a wheelchair...